I hear you loud and clear. People always say "Oh, college is the best time of your life!" I always thought, great, now what do I have to look forward to? Like you, the college years accounted for some of the most miserable years of my life.
But you know what? It's only been a year since I've graduated, and yes, I still kick myself for my lack of motivation, my brattiness at being too stubborn to take advantage of the education my parents handed me for free on a silver platter, the experiences so many people can't have. It makes me sad becuase I don't think I deserved it at all. But as time goes on, the grades you got, or the grades you didn't get, don't matter as much. You realize that you've got your WHOLE life ahead of you and you're still young and have time to turn things around for yourself.
Of course the people in your life are proud of you! I'm almost positive that your weight gain matters more to you than it does to them. They want to see you graduate and be happy and successful. You've gotten to the finish line and that's what's important.
I wish I had more to say, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Regret, sadly, is a part of life. We all have different ways of dealing with it, but just know that it's never too late to turn things around in your life.
Congratulations on graduating! I know the whole ceremony thing and the crap leading up to it really stinks. I didn't even want to go to mine but my parents would have been really upset so I sucked it up and you know what? I'm glad I did.
No matter how crappy an experience is, there's always something you've learned from it, taken from it, ****, even enjoyed. Be proud of yourself and keep trucking!
Also, if you ever want to talk (I know blogging sometimes seems like an empty vortex of space!) feel free to PM me. Like I said, I've been there!