When I was 25, I completely fell in love with a 35 year old guy I felt would not look twice at a girl who was as fat as I was. I had a lot of interaction with him over the phone at my job (he was a client of the company), and I developed quite a crush on him. One day I decided to get a look at him. He was movie star handsome as well as smart and funny. I secretly loved him from afar while I set about losing 70 pounds. I know people always say "don't lose weight for anyone, do it for yourself" blah blah, but I have to tell you ... it was great motivation.
It took me almost a year to lose the weight. I still wasn't thin by any stretch of the imagination (size 12), but I looked nice.
We were together for 12 years.
I kept the weight off for years after we broke up. In the past several years I have had various devastating losses and health problems that have led to me gaining that 70 pounds back (plus a lot more).
I think some of the main difference in my situation and those of some of the above posters are:
I was very accepting and loving of myself before I lost the weight. I just finally met someone I liked more than Little Debbie snacks.
He wasn't all about looks. Yeah, he liked women with nice bodies (what man doesn't, lol) but that wasn't all he was looking for in a woman. I knew for a fact that he liked me as a person. It was me who didn't want my weight to possibly be a deal-breaker. Each person has a standard of what is attractive and acceptable to them, and I suspected that his idea of attractive wasn't obese. I didn't fault him for that. My personal deal-breaker is if someone is a smoker.
A few years later I showed him a photo of my "fat" self and asked if he would have been attracted to me. He admitted that my being that heavy would have made a difference to him and he would never have asked me out at that weight. We would have just been pals. My next question was obviously "what if I gain weight over the years?". He reassured me that it would not be an issue because he loved me. He just wanted me to be healthy and happy.
I wasn't angry at men who preferred women who were slimmer than I was. Everyone has their own tastes and preferences. There are men that I truly like and even love as friends but I could never be into them in "that" way. How sexually appealing I find them has nothing to do with their worth as a person. I never took anyone elses sexual preferences as a measure of my self-worth either.
Although I lost the weight because of him, I kept it off for ME. I discovered that I really enjoyed life as a non-obese person.
Lindsy, If his only qualification for the girls he dates is "thin", run like ****. Bulimia may seem like a good idea, but it isn't. Among other things, it will ruin your teeth. Do a google image search and see what is in store for you if you go down that road. You "think the world of him". What does he think of you?
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