[jjgren]

....or so I have been told by a few Dr.'s. Me, I've been fat for so long that I only know I'm depressed when someone tells me. Right now, I KNOW I am!! I don't have insurance to go to the Dr., and I just keep truckin' on....maybe someone out there can help me thru it this time. My DH doesn't BELIEVE in depression, so he's no help. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Gingercakes]

Hi there,

Yes and No. Depression and obesity can certainly go hand in hand, or not at all. Not all overweight people are depressed, and not all depressed people are overweight. Of course, when we are depressed, some of us have a tendency to eat more, and some of us stop eating completely! (Wish I had the latter trait, but I don't)

There is temporary depression, such as when you are dealing with emotional challenges that outweigh your body's natural ability to ward off depression, and then there is depression that is biological, or inherited. I have the latter of the two, and I can tell you, that when depression is managed properly, it's always better to feel like this than to feel like this . Your entire life looks different, and it becomes easy to take better care of yourself. Self care is so important, even if it means taking a few minutes of the day to give yourself a manicure or to color your hair. You deserve it! If at all possible, even though you don't have insurance, I would recommend that you try to see a doctor (call for cash prices first!), and explain to the office that you are uninsured; they often have good cash discounts for people without insurance, and if all is medically well and stable, have your doctor give you a prescription with refills so that you don't have to pay for office visits monthly. Of course, you'll still need to check in to make sure that you are on the correct dosage or correct medication, but doctors have a tendency to have you check in more often than not, and good communication with your doctor will ensure that the money you spend on your health care will be stretched as far as possible.

On another note, Emotional well being is priority over weight loss, and once your emotions are under control and you start feeling better, fitness and better health might even come naturally.

As for DH not "believing" in depression, I would advise that he promptly educates himself by reading a few books before formulating beliefs that can be harmful to his spouse or others. And whether he "believes" in depression or not, it is still his obligation to be supportive to you, and of your needs. I have friends that do things that I don't necessarily agree with, but I do my best to be supportive, because that's what friends do. Biologically speaking, depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain; he may wish to begin researching serotonin and its function in the body. Perhaps if he learns more, he will be more inclined to be more supportive. But either way, Please don't let DH or anyone else stand in the way of your emotional health. It's just too important. His beliefs will not make you any better, if anything, they can make you feel worse. LOTS of us here at 3FC have dealt with (or are dealing with) depression; in fact, there is a whole thread dedicated to depresssion and weight loss, medications and their impact on weight loss, etc. You might want to take a look.

Sorry that this post turned out to be so long... but I'm pretty passionate about the issue of depression. I have had (notice I said "had"... as in, no longer) a "friend" that didn't "believe" in depression, and told me to take vitamins and exercise and it would all go away. Oh, and my favorite: to stop feeling sorry for myself. Sound familiar? People suffering from depression don't need , they need plenty of . If you can't get it from DH, we here at 3FC are glad to give you all you need. This board is SO supportive, and non-judgmental. I have been to forums where I could not believe the way some of the senior members treated others. You'll never find that here.

Anyway, bottom line is, While vitamins and exercise can certainly help anyone feel better they were unable to adjust the correct chemicals needed to relieve my depression. Only my medication can completely relieve the symptoms of depression. I am glad that I was able to get my daughter treatment for her depression (she is only 12) before things got out of hand. If I were to "deny" depression and refuse to get her treatment, imagine what could happen!?! But that's a whole 'nother thread.....

Feel free to PM me if you need more information, or more support. I'm always happy to give it whenever I can. Believe me, I've been there...

And if anyone else reads this, needs some support or feedback and wants to PM me, that's fine too. You don't have to ask. I know I was shy about posting in the public forums at first, but as you can see, I've grown out of that.

Hang in there.

Gingercakes

[Rebeccaone]

Originally Posted by jjgren

....or so I have been told by a few Dr.'s. Me, I've been fat for so long that I only know I'm depressed when someone tells me. Right now, I KNOW I am!! I don't have insurance to go to the Dr., and I just keep truckin' on....maybe someone out there can help me thru it this time. My DH doesn't BELIEVE in depression, so he's no help. Any advice would be appreciated.

I used to be the kind of 'up' person who thought that my words and attitude would naturally be infectious to anyone who was less positive (can't believe I was so arrogant once upon a time!), but then I sunk into a serious depression of my own, triggered by some catastrophic life events, and learned firsthand what depression really was (quicksand). It took antidepressants to bail me out. Now I'm myself again and off of them, but I only mention this because I don't know you so I'm not sure of helpful words to offer and I also don't know if you need medical intervention. But if you suspect you do, then I hope you will seek it without insurance (go to a public or county clinic, it won't cost much). I agree with prior poster, first things first. I know you want to tackle the weight, but I'm not sure you will be able to unless or until you tackle the depression first. In the meantime, if you could just walk for 20 minutes a day, that might help with the depressive feelings. I started a walking program myself just two months ago. Could not believe that I huffed & puffed on just a 20 minute walk. Now I'm doing sooo much better, both walking and dieting, and I've lost 15 pounds. I still have alot of weight to lose, but I fight really hard to only focus on the positive progress and not the mountain I'm trying to climb. Hugs to you- let us know if you begin any intervention for yourself (seeking medical advice or embarking on a gentle start to exercise or dieting). Lots of us have been there!

[srmb60]

I think depression and being obese and weigh loss can be a circular depression enhancer
I was sedentary and blah. I thought I tried to lose weight a couple of times (half heartedly), failed .... blah, decreased self esteem. I tried exercising and was miserable ... blah, failure ...
Then you get to a point where you know too much and realise that you know what to do but can't get at it ... and that's depressing ...
It felt kinda like a dog chasing his tail. I don't know which came first the depression or the weight.
I do take medication but ... there is no other feeling as good as a few pounds of success .... a good walk well done ... six good squats. You will begin to feel that you have the power to change for the better.

[Lifeguard]

Big Hugs! I'm not sure what I can add that has not already been said except to keep persevering to get your depression taken care of - unfortunately it often takes time so the sooner you start the better.

If you tell the doc that you do not have coverage they may also give you "samples". They get hundreds of samples from suppliers & when we were without coverage my doc was able to give me samples of my anti-depressant a lot of months - it can really save you money. When you do get a prescription filled always ask for generic if they have - it's cheaper & if you can afford to do it, get more than one refill filled at a time to save on the dispensing fee.

For extra support you may find there is a community resource centre (that's what they're called here) that offers free counselling. Just having someone who is understanding to speak to can make you feel so much better & less alone. Sometimes there are support groups available as well.

I feel terrible for you that your DH is not supportive. I have people in my life (like my MIL) who do not "get" depression at all. I find it easier to say that I am physically sick as she can understand that better. Unfortunately for some people it is so far out of their realm of understanding or reality that they just cannot seem to wrap their minds around it being a real thing. Seek out those who do. In my experience (I have been living with my depression for over 10 years) most people are surprisingly supportive when you are honest & forthcoming with them about it & about your needs. I have slowly built up a support system of people that I can just say "I'm feeling off today." who know that means I'm not myself & I may need to lean on their shoulder some. It's not the solution but with the other stuff it definitely helps.

As for the weight thing - I always wonder what comes first. It's a whole chicken & the egg thing. I have always felt that my weight has a lot to do with the depression but I think the others are right - it's awfully hard to be successful at weightloss when it's troubling just to get out of bed.

Best luck to you & you can pm me as well if you wish.