[danirockyo]

Hi Everyone, I'm new and this holiday season has been ****. I suddenly lost my Dad Thanksgiving day. Christmas Eve will be the 1 mo. anniversary of his death and I'm dreading it. My husband has been wonderful, he's been getting me to the gym, helping me and being a great guy. I'm totally motivated to lose weight - a sudden death will make anyone want to be healthy. But I'm depressed, as expected. I'm having a hard time doing anything. I know it will pass and I have to be patient, but has anyone else gone through this? How long did it take for you to feel kinda normal? And where you able to keep to some semblence of a diet and exercise regime? I'm hoping the exercise will keep my mood a bit higher so I'm determined to do at least that.

[Christy S]

I am so sorry to hear about your father. No time is a good time to loose a parent but the holidays can be especially hard. Keep up with the exercise - it will definetely help. Don't be afraid to grieve because you need to to get through this. In time it does get easier, but it does take time each day it will be a tiny bit easier. I lost my father as a teenager and I kept active with my horses. I spent a lot of time greiving over him but my mother encouraged me to ride every day. Luckily I had my mom to keep me going. I still miss him at family events and the holidays, the first Christmas was very hard. Our family changed a few traditions and that helped a little. I truly believe that he is watching over me and this helps a lot.

[Leenie]

Welcome to 3FC's

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad Sounds like your not giving yourself permission to grieve. Just remember this, everyone grieves differently, some are months, some are years but in any case, please don't be hard on yourself no matter how long it takes. The loss of a loved one is lifes most hardest things to deal with.

Hang in there hon, you'll be okay just give yourself time and give that wonderful ol hubby a big hug

Hugs and Kisses Leenie

[CathyMD]

Dearest Danirockyo, I read your post and it brought my eyes to tearing. Ohh how sad to lose your dad on Thanksgiving Day of all days! I just first want to give you big hugs and let give you the warmest of condolences!!!

I lost my mom on May 18, so I have a feeling for what you are now going through. Christmas Day yesterday was rough rough rough! I imagine that you had a similarly challenging day, too.

I think it is awesome that you are trying to eat well and exercise. Good for you! Yes, taking positive healthy steps - even baby steps - is important at this time.

How long does it take? Ohhh Sweetie, I have to be honest with you - You will feel VERY normal on some days and very NOT normal on others. Grief is something that flows and ebbs, with no particular rhyme nor reason. One day you will feel really down and the next day you will find much joy. It depends on what "triggers" a sad memory. That is the way that grief is.

But the Shock stage, at least for me, wore off after maybe the second month. Then I came to acceptance, as if it was reality. But once in a while you will suddenly still forget. You will go to reach for the phone or tell yourself that you have to tell your parent something about a future event... and then suddenly gasp to recall that that can not happen.

But yes, after a couple of months, life does start to get back to a more normal feel, when the initial shock wears off, yes.

Honestly, since May I have only lost a few pounds. It is up and down. Some weeks I will lose 2 lbs, the next week stay the same, next week gain a pound and so on. I believe that THE single most important thing we can do at this point is keep thinking, What can I do today to be healthy? (Not to be "thin" mind you, but just maintain our health).

Please keep in touch here. I will put this on setting to notify me of posts to this thread so we can keep in touch, okay?

I am a 47 year old mom and work from home. I am 22 pounds less than when I gave birth to my daughter 13 years ago. I still have 60 pounds left (wow that's a lot when I do the math! ) to go.

Let's do this together, okay? I sure could use a "health and fitness" pal!

More great big hugs!

Cathy

[liz321]

So sorry for your loss....a sudden loss is so difficult...often no chance for good bye's....I lost my son 10 years ago....the raw pain initally was barely compatible with life.....I cried so much I was dehydrated, I was in so much pain I was short of breath....the nights were hard, I could barely sleep....the days were hard cause everyone else was just carrying on with life.....but with time the pain is more bearable....but for me my grief is a lifelong part of who I am....I will never get "over" the loss of my son...but is has gotten easier, more bearable....hang in there and keep in touch.

Liz