[breevandekamp]

Hi, I'm new and kind of shy.

I have read so much on this message board, so many great people and so much support. I like that.

Where to start... I have a problem with compulsive overeating, and also binge eating. About a year ago, I started "recovering". It has been a fantastic year for me. I have lost over 60lbs, and up until a few weeks ago, I felt so good about myself. I really thought that I had learned to love myself, and to find healthier ways to cope than food.

I'm kind of... relapsing though. This is so hard for me to admit. So many people are so proud of me for having done this healthfully. And now I'm ruining it. I can't stop thinking about food, I eat like there's no tomorrow, I'm slipping back into unhealthy thoughts. And worst of all, I have no idea why. I also have no idea how to stop it, because technically, I know that I can beat this. I have for the past year. It just seems impossible at the moment. I haven't gained too much weight back yet, 4 or 5 lbs maybe. I've also kept up exercise. But I'm pretty terrified, not so much of the old patterns (!!!), but of gaining weight.

I started a new job a few weeks ago, and I'm getting my first paycheck soon. I was really looking forward to go out and get new clothes, which I really need. I don't want that experience to be painful because I let myself slip. After all I fit into a 40 (which is... I don't know, 10 in American sizes?) now, which I haven't since I was 14 or 15 years old.

It's seems like suddenly I have forgotten everything that is healthy and good. The right amounts of food (everything seems like too much, but it doesn't keep me from eating more), the right attitude, the right mindset.

I am determined to beat this, and get back to my healthy ways of thinking. At least right this moment I am, of course that could change in half an hour. I know that I'm able to do it, I have been doing it.

Reading the success stories here gives me so much motivation (and I hope to maybe one day have my own success story), and seeing how everyone supports eachother makes me want to be a part of this. A healthy part. I can do it.

I guess that was a little too much whining, sorry about that. It just felt good to put all this into words.

What else... I'm 27 years old and I live in Switzerland. And I chose my username because I'm a big fan of Marcia Cross. My real name is Manuela, but people call me Manu.

Looking forward to getting to know you guys.

[Leenie]

Hi Manu, nice to meet you

Wow, you've done a great job with your weight loss, congratulations.
I can understand that feeling of slipping and going back to the way you used to eat. I don't know what to tell you, wish I had the magic words to put you where you need to be emotionally but I don't. I can only say, keep trying, don't give up!! and especially don't give up on the exercise. That was my downfall, I would do good eating and exercising and once I felt defeated with the eating I stopped exercising. What a mistake that was

There's lots of success stories here and I'm sure these wonderful ladies will chime right in here with them.

HUGS and congratulations on the WL, new job AND buying new clothes

[lilith9]

Hello Manu,

I can really relate to how you're feeling right now. My motivation comes and goes by the moment. I know there are others on this board going through the same thing, too. Maybe we can all figure it out together, with help from each other and from those who are managing it successfully.

take comfort in the fact that you're not alone

lilith

[ellis]

Manu, welcome!
I'm really impressed that you're addressing your eating issues before they get too "out of hand". It's all too easy to let the pounds slip back on, and before you know it, you're at an all-time high.
I think the best thing is that you KNOW you can do this because you've done it before. Hang on to that positive thought.

Lilith, I'm right there with you, girl. I've been walking an hour a day every day this week, and I've GAINED two pounds. I THINK I'm eating better than I was, but I'm still not completely in control. Also, I tend to think, "I'm exhausted at the end of the day, plus I walked, so I DESERVE to eat!" Talk about sabotage.
Don't give up on the exercise... you're doing so well!!

[breevandekamp]

Thank you girls! It's so good to know that other people feel the same way, although of course it's a bad thing we all do.

Thanks for the warm welcome!

[icedragon6669]

Hey girl!

I can tell you, you need to stop those negative thoughts!
I had just managed to lose 100 pounds!! but for the last 4 months have I slipped. It hurts more the longer I don't get back on track! I am now back and need to lose 40 of those again! AND it HURTS! hurts to look in the mirror, hurts to try new clothes, or old that don't fit anymore. I was doing so well , and finally started to love the person i was, then I just fell off the edge of binge eating once again.
I don't know the whys of binge eating, but reading some of your posts, we are similar! I know i eat out of sheer hate of myself! I can't even stand to take the kids out to the park, i feel so bad about myself.

Stop yourself for a moment and think about it, you have done sooooo wellll. You should be proud of yourself. If you lose it and get back to binge eating, it is only downhill until you pick yourself up again! and the sooner you say, ENOUGH, the less work you have to do to get back where you were.

I am in the process of realising that I have headed straight back into the misery, and it will only be a matter of time before i hit 275 pounds and beyond again! I don't want to be that person again!
I wouldn't stress over doing a set diet, if you had to binge (which wasn't your fault stop blaming yourself) try getting into it slowly! cut back on your normal eating a little more each day, when you just start cold turkey on a set diet, you are setting yourself up for a fail! Try to think that you are eating to "be healthy" and revolve your diet around healthy food, do not totally restrict the amount you eat to the point your body is craving sustanence and you lose control.