Rosetta, you're doing great!
You can do this, hon. Just take it an hour at a time, or whatever you need to get you through the weekend. And be good to yourself! Reward yourself with things other than food... a good book or magazine, a bubble bath, or other "pampering" things.

OH, Rosetta! Truer words were never spoken:

We have to look up from our food daze and face the root of the matter.

How I can relate to that! Although, looking back at all the times I have tried to face the root of the matter, I'm still not quite sure what it is. Do I blame genetics? Nah, no one really fat as far back as I can see. Deprivation as a child? No, there was always enough to eat, even in our family of 5 kids. I was a chubby child, but slimmed down at puberty. I think the damage to my psyche was done by then, though. I never thought of myself as anything but fat. Even when I wasn't. Even into adulthood. My parents? Maybe somewhat. I do come from a family with alcoholism on both sides. I think that but for a simple twist of fate (hooking up with my dear husband, who does not drink) I certainly was headed down that same path. But I think that I just traded one compulsion for another.

Maybe it's time to look into OA again.

I should be sleeping, but the man is snoring so loudly, I had to get up. This has become a habit, I'm afraid! Although, I'm usually at work this time of night...my sleep pattern is hopelessly skewed.

Thank you, Alisha for your kind words! I will take any and all supportive measures! Hang in there to you and Rosetta both, with your liquid diets. A friend of mine lost a LOT of weight doing just that. I know I do not have the stamina. Did you say crabby? My family would be throwing Twinkies and Oreos at me after about three days!!! Eat! Please eat, you raving b!tch!

Who mentioned Whoppers, by the way?

My food has been good these past few days, thank God for the wonderful summer fruits: Peaches and raspberries and plums, oh my!

The snoring seems to have abated a bit...at least down to a low rumble. I'm going to give it a go. Especially since I have to be up at 8. We have tickets to a Yankees game. Still not sure if we can get tickets for the ferry, or we'll be taking the one hour train ride into Manhattan, then the subway to Yankee Stadium. Hubby did NOT want to drive. It's going to be about 95 degrees and ungodly humidity. What, are we nuts?

Maybe I can sweat off a few pounds!

Good Morning

Hi everyone, how's your weekend going along? Mine is okay, I didn't do good dieting but not to bad for me. I wish I could last more than 5 days on a diet.

Anyway, Ellis, the back is MUCHO better. I had some nice muscle relaxers and pain killers that really helped......well until the next time I move wrong lol. Thanks for asking. How are YOU ????????? whats going on?? did you get to see your doctor yet?

This weather SUCKS!!! yesterday our temperature reader said 105 degrees, and with the humidity its like walking into a sauna...G R double O SE !! Wish I had a pool.

You'd think with all the cleaning talk I do, my house would be spotless, but it seems like I clean the same thing over and over and over and cant get any thing else done LOL.

Alisha, 30 lbs !!!! you go girl. Thats awesome

Katrina, where in NJ do you live? I'm in bergen cty near the franklin lakes area. Good luck going to the city (or did you already lol).

Melissa, enjoy the family and hang in there just remember no matter what you eat, keep doing that exercise, it really will make a difference. (look who I'm telling to exercise OY VEY lolol).

Rose, how's today?? how long are you staying on the liquids?

Good morning, girls!

Ah... facing the root of the matter. Yes, I blame my mother for dumping her problems on me all through my childhood, for not being a mother to me, and for not recognizing my depression. THERE! Unfortunately, I still have to get a grip myself, and move on.
My mother is a fit, beautiful, 80 year-old. She weighs about 60 pounds less than I do, and STILL she's saying to me, "I'm so worried about my health. I must get this weight off!" God help me.
Why can't I say to her, "LOOK!! You've had a good life. You're healthy. Take a look at your fat, unhealthy, depressed daughter, and maybe give her some support for once in your damned life!!!"
Phew! THAT felt good!

Kat, you've got to get your DH some of those little nose thingies that stop the snoring. They're very attractive. heh heh
Thank you for reminding to eat FRUIT! I ate quite well yesterday (until a smaller-than-usual snack in the evening. Still big, but better, at least!), but realized that I hadn't eaten a vegetable for... oh, I don't remember when I last ate a veggie! Must get something I like, plus some fruit...
What fun living in NJ and being so close to "the action"! Have fun at the game, hon!

Leenie, I'm so glad your back is getting better.
Yes, I saw my doc, thank you. I THINK the meds may be working! I just need to up them a bit, I think. I'm much more energetic.
Speaking of energetic, WHERE is Melissa!

Laundry in the plans today. Such an exciting life I lead.

How's everyone else!

Hi folks! I'ts been a while!

Leenie: Happy belated birthday!!

Ellis: I can relate to your last post. I have some pent-up hostility about my mother not recognizing my anxiety when I was little.... would have helped to have a little emotional support as a little one. Kickboxing helps me get the rage out! Feels good.... sore but good.

Speaking of which... I'm acting out. I feel myself feeling rebeliious (to who? I'm not sure!) about eating what I WANT (read: cookies & brownies). It's not so helpful when I get on the scale... and I'm trying to figure out what is triggering these episodes... then I just shrug and say to myself, "who gives a damn?!" I'm narrowing the window of rebeliion down... so hopefully I'll wean myself off of whatever is going on... it's just so annoying.

I hope the rest of you are hanging in there!!! All the best!

I love it, Wanderlust.

It's really difficult to pin-point the reasoning behind our wanting to eat/binge, isn't it? And you know, even if I DO figure it out, I'm often so tired and irritable by then that, like you, I think, "Who cares! I'm eating! Out of my way!!"
Maybe there's something in that. For instance, I start getting tired around 3 in the afternoons (when the kids come home. Coincidence? I don't THINK so!! ), and that's when I want to eat a ton of carbs. And that just makes me even more tired, and I'm set for an evening of snacking.
Maybe we need to journal (I hate journaling, but I know it's a really good tool) our moods throughout the day, and then prepare for them...

I'm "talking out loud here"... excuse me...
If I make myself a healthy snack first thing in the morning (like veggies and a good dip or something) and keep it handy in the fridge, then it'll be ready for my 3 o'clock blues. I can plop the kids down with a snack and get them to do their homework, while I take a half-hour or so to read and eat. Hmmm... maybe a little protein would be good right around then, too...

What do you think, Wanderlust?

They're gone!

Yay! I have my life back! Woo hoo! Sad, isn't it? But two weeks of my mom, my sister and my two nieces every day is just too long! I am up 1.5lbs - not bad considering some of the choices I made. I still have until Friday to get it off as my official weigh in day.

Welcome everyone! Katrina, Alisha, Roseeta, Wanderlust! Fabulous to see some new faces and have some great discussions.

I had my first training for the half marathon on Saturday. It was so awesome I can't even describe it. We ran three miles and it was raining the entire time. I love to run or bike in the rain. I just felt so alive and so incredible. I can't wait until this Saturday.

Hi all. Here it is, Monday. I love Mondays, really! Always a new beginning, and today is no different! I pulled fitday up and decided to start logging my food/exercise there again. I like how you can see how, exactly, everything breaks down and all your daily numbers at a glance. Good tracking tool. You can even journal there too. I posted all my goals and how I intend to meet them. Feeling positive and in control right now.

We survived the Yankee game, kind of! Good grief, it was so hot. We sat, baking in the sun for about 5 innings when it started to rain. BIG giant raindrops....ahh, they felt so good! The game continued a bit, through the rain, but they finally called a delay when it became torrential! We left our seats and went inside, where it was packed with hot, sweaty, smelly MANY PEOPLE. I really hate crowds of people...and since we figured the game would be called anyway, we left the stadium. It wasn't called...they continued after a bit, but we couldn't get back inside! So we hung out in the parking lot, like a couple of hoodlums, doing some great people watching and laughing a lot. Mostly at each other! 22 years of marriage and we still can act like a couple of dorks together.

Hi, Leenie, fellow Jersey girl! I'm in Monmouth County, not far from Sandy Hook, the northern-most point of the Jersey Shore. Do you get down to the beach at all? I saw another Jersey girl here too....Hi, Wanderlust! What's your exit? We've got some Joizey delegation here!

Ellis, sounds like a good plan, preparing for the slump ahead of time. I often think I will do just that, and then................don't. Today I will. Thanks for the reminder. Are your kids in school already? My son is hanging on tight to his last two weeks of freedom! Back to school 9/6.

Thanks for the warm welcome, Melissa! Your training session sounds great. I'd love to do a marathon some day. I'm going to add that to my goal list!

Gotta run, I'm here about an hour longer than I had planned and I still have to get my exercise in today!

Hello, all. I made it through the weekend, but it was rough. Not because I was hungry, because, curiously, I wasn't, but because of all the emotional cravings. I had a lot of time to fill and didn't know what to do with it. I just read more than usual. I live alone so I don't have any obligations to anyone else. Turned on the tv to watch a movie - Hannah and Her Sisters - which revolved around several years of Thanksgiving dinners. Yikes! Went to see Broken Flowers yesterday and -- yup - there were several meals in that one too. The smell of popcorn didn't really bother me so I wasn't tempted. But it was all I could do to get myself home without stopping at the store for "just one good meal." Good thing I didn't because the weight loss clinic group leader had left a phone message for me and I had to call him back and report. I actually do feel better, my joints are less creaky and my bum shoulder doesn't hurt as much. I weigh in tomorrow night.
Ellis, I can sympathize with you. I had a difficult mother, too. She died over 30 years ago but I still feel the effects of her upbringing. Sometimes, with older people such as your mom, they tend to draw inward and become more self-centered. They feel removed from the problems of younger people, even their children. Maybe you can try not to take her lack of interest in you personally, it may just be a symptom of her age. By the way, good idea anticipating your afternoon slump and arming youself with a healthy snack choice.
Kat - The reasons we go for the food are so complex, we'll never fully know what triggers it. With alcoholism in your family, food may have been your way of coping. If OA has been helpful to you, then maybe you should try it again. You will get support. Sounds like you had a fun weekend despite the snafu at the ballgame.
Wanderlust - I think we rebel because we want to have our cake and it it too. (Or not have to give up our cake and still be thin.)
Melissa - whew - now that company's gone and you are running, I'm sure you'll lose the extra #.
To Leenie and all you other sweltering east coasters - our temps here in San Francisco for the last few days have been in the 50s with a wet fog. (I love it).

Hey there ladies!

Thanks for the encouragement kat. If you would really like to do a marathon someday I suggest signing up for information at the Team in Training website. I first heard about them 5 years ago and just signed up now. It is inspiring to even get their mailers.

Congrats Rosetta on making it through the weekend. That is always the hardest part for me. It has so much less structure than normal work days.

It continually amazes me how much I have to fight not to eat crap. My daughter asked for a hot pretzel at the mall, so we got it. Of course, she ate about 4 bites and was done. I brought it in the car because she said she wasn't done with it. (I usually try to throw stuff out instead.) I ended up probably eating 2/3 bites before I tossed it when we got to the gas station. It was probably only an extra 50 calories, but do that a few times a day and you stop losing weight. It is such a mental battle with me.

Good morning, girls!

Melissa, considering the stress you went through having family for so long, I'd say you did VERY well, my dear!!
You're doing great with the training! Yes, I always loved running in the rain... it's so refreshing.

Kat, I love Mondays, too.
The kids aren't back at school until ummm... the first week in September. I was always appalled when parents would say they couldn't wait for the kids to go back to school, but now I'm in agreement... the summer holidays are SO long. Even my 16 year old daughter told me that she thinks the holidays should be split up.
It sounds like you had a riot with your DH. I'll bet you had more fun than if you'd gone back in to watch the game.

Rosetta, you got through the weekend! That's wonderful, hon!! I hope the weigh-in goes well this evening. Whatever happens, do NOT get discouraged. We all have bizarre weight fluctuations, but that weight is going to come off!
I'm sorry about the stresses you had with your mom, too. I'm sure it sounds trivial to some people, but they have such a huge impact on our lives.

I'm gearing up for a better lifestyle. I've just had my new meds upped (they seem to be doing the ticket), I've got a LOT more energy, and I'm getting tired of eating poorly. Any day now, you'll see me spring into action, and my weight will dramatically drop.

Hi everyone! Sorry for the hiatus - our lover-ly internet went down (again) and I had to play catch up. You ever get that hamster on a wheel feeling? It's like groundhog day at this office with our internet. Down, up, catch up - down, up, catch up....

But anyway, I'm glad to hear that everyone is doing well. Katrina, Melissa and Ellis - hang in there dahlings! I can speak from experience that even if you figure out where the food hang-ups come from, it still doesn't make it any easier to break them. I don't know why that is, but maybe I just need more head shrinking. I know exactly why I obsess with food the way I do - only it doesn't seem to make any difference. I can play head games with myself from dawn to dusk and it just doesn't seem to help. A bag of Tostitos and I had a fight over the weekend and that proved it. Dr Phil says that an eating disorder can never be cured - only managed - but ****, I can't even manage the damn thing. How frustrating. I haven't done any damage really, except for the fact that I just can't get to a 30lbs loss! I weigh in again tomorrow but I don't know what to expect. And you want to know the kicker? Eating crap makes me sick! It sets off my IBS and I've had trapped wind for two whole days but will that stop me the next time? (Gods I hope so, but probably not...) I thought surely it would be like aversion therapy - getting this sick and not wanting to feel this way again. Kind of like getting really sick on gin or vodka and then never drinking it again. Maybe I'm just doo lolly.

Melissa, you're right though. It is a constant struggle trying to deny food that 'calls you'. I just keep hoping that one day the struggle will become easier. Until then, at least we all have each other.

Hang in there everyone. I'm right in the canoe with you.

Big hugs

Alisha

Good afternoon. I'm starting to have food dreams. The other night I was buying pork chops, last night someone bought me a taco! Physically I feel so much better, but emotionally things are difficult. I try not to think too far in the future, to concentrate on the here and now, just getting through each day and reminding myself of the reasons for doing this. Now that I no longer have food as an escape tool, I have to face certain things about my life that I don't like - my job for one. That's where I have to control my crankiness.
Melissa - I know how easy it is to eat little bits here and there. In my office right now there are candy and nuts and I could almost absentmindedly help myself to one and have actually thought - one or two nuts won't hurt. But as you said, the little deviations do add up and they can be detrimental to our goals.
Ellis - glad you're feeling better. Daily life is so much better when you have the energy to cope with it and it's so much easier to lose weight when you feel good. I'm waiting to lose enough weight so I can start moving. That will give me more energy and make it easier to stick with my goal.
Alisha - I take it you lost the Tostitos battle. Are you back on your fast?

Hi all...I'm having a good day! Well, it's kind of hard to have a bad day when you sleep through most of it! I should mention that I work the night shift (11-7) and have to sleep during the day. Lately, (lately? For months now!) my problem has been that I'd come in from work, sit at the computer, and nibble, graze, and munch away til about 10 or 11, then go to sleep. Conditions not very conducive to weight loss, I'm afraid!

I had to go to the doctor last week because I had bronchitis...I HATE going to the doctor's with a white hot passion, chiefly because the first thing they do is weigh you! But I really was sick so I sucked it up and got on the scale. He did casually mention that my weight was up ( No! Really? ) and that he'd like me to come back for a regular checkup in about 6 weeks, since it had been about 2 years since my last physical. Oy

I am determined to lose some weight before I go back. And then to continue losing weight, of course! I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been for my 'yearly' GYN visit in a few years or for a mammo either...all because of the weight. It's really time to stop letting my fat call the shots.

Rosetta: Ah, San Francisco! I love that city! My in-laws live in CA, about a 3 hour ride from SF, but we make the trip in every time we go...it takes my breath away every time I'm there! I think I may have left my heart there! Enjoy that wonderful cool weather...I AM jealous!

Ellis...I'm glad to hear that you're feeling perky! Eating well can only make you feel that much better...good for you!

Alisha...Those Tostitos are dirty fighters, aren't they? I can rarely win any battles with them! And you're right, I can blame anyone/thing I want for this weight issue, but it is up to ME to deal with it. Sometimes over-thinking the situation can just make you crazy(er). I'm in an 'action phase' right now....no more thnking about it...JUST DO IT. (thanks, Nike)

Melissa...thanks for the heads up on the Team in Training website...It looks great! I browsed there a bit and have bookmarked it for future reading and inspiration!

Time for me to whip up some kind of fantastic, healthy dinner. Heh heh. DH is at work, daughter is at work, I hear sonny in the kitchen fixing his own concoction. SO much easier to prepare for one! Time to go chop some veggies...

Have a good night, all!

Howdy ladies! Am I the early bird around here?

Alisha - How did your weigh in go?

Rosetta - I know exactly what you are saying about no longer using food as an escape. It has been a big realization for me. I started having mini panic attacks because I just didn't know how to deal with things. Instead of running off to eat chocolate chip cookies when I am upset, I have to deal with it!

Yay ellis! New meds! It is great to have energy back, isn't it. My daughter loves the singer Laurie Berkner and she has a song called "My Energy". We sing it together in the car all the time...

This is me, this is me, this is me and my energy!
I'm gonna wiggle my legs,
I'm gonna click my heels,
I'm gonna stop my feet,
Doo, Doo, Doo.....

You get the picture. It has kind of become a theme song in my head.