[luvmyboys82]

Hi everyone I'm new to this forum and thought I'd introduce myself...

I'm 22 years old, mommy of 2 young boys, and have battled with eating disorders (mostly bulimia) since I was 13. My weight has ranged from underweight in the past to obese. During both of my pregnancies I was determined not to purge, but I still overate frequently to deal with my emotions, and gained a lot of weight with both pregnancies, which I'm still working to take off. I was 120 when I got pregnant with my 1st, gained up to 190's, lost down to 160's, gained up to 246 with my 2nd pregnancy, after which I started starving myself and got down around 150 but quickly gained a lot of weight back when I started eating normally again. I was up to 205 the first of this year, but I've lost 20 pounds since then. I have really been trying to lose weight more healthfully. 1200 calories per day with an hour of exercise 6 days per week. But I'm still purging a couple of times (sometimes more) per week. It's so hard to battle with the thought that it's okay to give in to every craving, i.e., to eat an entire box of ice cream, because I know how to get rid of it. I know how unhealthy it is and I've suffered complications from it in the past, but for so many years I've been an "all or nothing" person and that type of thinking has been hard to change.

I'm trying to appreciate my body more, and all of the things that this mass allows me to do, from writing to walking to seeing to holding my children. It really is amazing how much your body allows you to do. I want to take care of my body and give it the nutrition that it needs, yet the urge to be thin as quickly as I can and getting a "quick fix" for my emtions sometimes overshadows all of that.

I CAN say that I have a much better outlook on all of this now than I ever have in the past, and it is getting easier day by day to go about weight loss in a healthy way. I know that getting to my goal weight won't magically solve any of my problems. I know for the weight to stay off, it has to go away gradually, probably no more than 8-10 pounds per month. I've found the best success I've had with battling the ED is taking steps to make it a gentle transition from eating disordered to healthy lifestyle -- not expecting myself to be perfect, and not beating myself up when I'm not, but simply keeping in mind what the body does to make life wonderous, and that it needs as much good nutrition and nourishment as I can give it. Going over the train tracks at 10mph makes for a much less bumpy ride than at 60mph. (That's the best analogy I have for that! )

Can't wait to get to know you all here better. Good luck with everything you are striving for!

~Mel

[ellis]

Mel, I don't get in here as often as I'd like to, but I just wanted to welcome you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds as though you're "coming together". Keep it up, hon!

[onobles]

Your experience is very familiar to me. I'm having trouble getting the weight off after my second pregnancy and it's really playing with my head. I joined WW after the first baby and lost almost all of my weight. This time, I can't afford it, so.....

I, too, enjoy the thought that I could lose 8-10 pounds a month. Sometimes this helps keep me sane. But, it's unlikely. Especially when I'm running after two little ones who won't sit still (or nap) long enough for me to do enough exercise to make that happen. haha

Sometimes, I think about how a goal like 1 pound a week (depressingly slow rate, I know) would be more realistic. If I had accepted that 1 year ago, I would almost be at my goal now. (I'm old enough to have done some damage to my metabolism with crash dieting, etc. Now, I've got to be patient with slow weight loss.)

Then, I think, well I have just GOT to get thin by Christmas. Someone pointed out that there is a life after Christmas. That helped put things in perspective. Plus, it relieved some of that pressure that causes me to give up and binge.

You've lost a good bit of weight already, I see. Congrats!! And, of course, congrats on your two babies.