[ta_evans]

Ok, long, sad and true. I'll try to shorten as much as possible. Started when I was about 12 years old and my supposed best friends started making fun of my weight. I love kids at this age don't you, mind you I was 12 years old, 5"2, about 125. Which I'd actually kill to be, ironic isn't it? I saw a documentary on B/P and insued the lovely practice to try and lose weight. I would start/stop and this continued on thru my teen years. I was diagnosed with hyperglycemia around 16 and blossomed to a lovely 190lbs. Around 18 years of age I moved out of my house and got a job at BK, go figure I lost 50lbs in 2 months. I bounced up/down for about 2 years and finally got down to 123lbs around 23 years of age and was thrilled, katty and a little arrogant. My CFS which was also diagnosed around the same time as my hyperglycemia, began to take a toll on my body and I was so tired all the time. I climbed up to a whopping 217lbs around the age of 26. I was so depressed, I pretty much hermited myself in my house.

After a new job and one great looking security guards constant flirty remarks to me, I tried to find something, anything that would help my energy levels. I was about to lose my job and become dreadfully close to having diabetes. I came across a wonder supplement called Thyroslim made by MHP, of course this is when ephedra was legal. I know there will be diverse opinons on this drug,. but it saved my life. With the properties of water removal, appetite supression, energy increased and thyroid/glucose levels controlled, my outlook completely changed. I had energy in the morning. I wasn't getting sick anymore and had energy to workout. I wasn't overeating, wasn't purging and slowly and steadily lost weight and my health increased greatly to a really good status. The CFS not only slows your metabolism, it makes it difficult to stay away from illness and longer to recover. In about 9 months I got down to 130lbs and 2 months later was at my goal of 123lbs. I lived this way for 3 years, unhindered, healthy, sugar problems gone and my ED had disappeared. I dated, enjoyed life, had self esteem for once in my life I was happy.

I had met a man and we were best friends and shortly after 9-11 I found out I was pregnant. After having a very sick pregnancy and having my son taken at 7 months due to pre-eclampsia, I again from medication, hospitalization, found myself at 209lbs. I was determined to get well again and get fit. Once recovered from my ordeal in 2/03 I started my pills again and by 12/03 I was down to 145lbs. Of course we all know what happened then, the ban of ephedra came into effect. I was actually oblivious to what happened and why till after the fact.

I love the people that are so against ephedra cause, they are so uniformed. This drug had been around for hundreds of years, used by the chinese. Because some people abused or used without consulting physicians, ppl like me must suffer. When I could no longer get my pills w/this key ingredient I was devastated. But I tried to find something anything to give me the energy and similiar properties these supplements had given me. I found nothing. I slowly started to gain, and immediately went into ED mode. As of now I'm 186lbs, depressed and supposed to have a wedding 7/1/05. I'm counting the clock and don't know what to do, I've tried the diets, tried the excercise and combination of both, I know all the hows and how too's, my dad is an exbodybuilder for goodness sake. I've been sick every other week with something, I'm tired again all the time and can't find anything that helps. Caffeine makes me ill beyond the first cup of coffee. I'm lost, tired and feeling hopeless. The only thing that makes me any least bit happy is my son. Unfair as it may be to my fiance, it is true. He can't help me, not the way I need it and being an ex fitness trainer, he knows better than to give me advice.

I don't really know why I'm posting, maybe to vent, maybe to real in disgust from my own self pity. I've done the wellbutrin thing, all it does is conflict with my CFS and makes me so sleep 24-7. And slows my metabolism and immune response even more. I've tried the vitamin, low carb, excercise, nothing is working. Either work, baby or no energy interfere. I don't have the money to buy tons of fruits and veggies and yet I do live on salad a lot, but it doesn't matter cause I gain anyway. I'm not a real junk eater unless I'm B/P'ing for the night. I'm at such a loss, I don't know what else to write, guess I'm looking for some miracle words of wisdom. I feel like no one is going thru what I'm going thru. I have 3 strikes against me, CFS, anxiety disorder AND ED.

Please don't comment if your just going to be cocky and know it all. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but some of the recovering ED'ers I've seen on here, are more talking down instead of offering a sympathetic ear or empathetic words of advice.

[Alethea]

I don't have an eating disorder, but I saw your post and felt I had to respond. I couldn't agree with you more. The people that died using this drug did so because they were irresponsible. Athletes in top form have no need of this drug.

I'm not trying to be know-it-all or be condescending, I just want to brainstorm with you to perhaps find a solution. So, here's my two cents worth.

I knew ephedra was banned from over the counter supplements, but is it still possible to get it via prescription?

Was it banned in other countries? Would they ship it to the US? Perhaps ordering it via the web is an option.

There are reputable drug vendors in Canada, but I don't know about availability. You're in New York, so would a road trip to Canada be an option?

So, I know you've probably tried some of these. What did you find? What ideas do you have?

[ta_evans]

No your not being condescending and I appreciate your help. I did for about 2 months was able to get it from India who I guess suffered from monsoon (don't know if I spelled that right) and couldn't ship for awhile, apparently US must've got wind of outsourcing such as this and stopped it. I have yet to find anyone to supply it outside of the states. Ephedra is considered a prescription available with ppl in my condition. Such as I'm sure you've heard of scenario's like this before, the ones who need it can't seem to be able to get it and the ones who can don't need it or are abusing and making it harder for those who do.