I weighed 183 eight years ago, and didn't care. I used to work at a bakery and ate half my meals there. I changed jobs and began to eat better and diet and exercise until I got down to 104. I stayed there with all my family urging me to gain-they are all slightly overweight. I choose to gain weight to fit into the wedding dress I wanted that didn't come small enough and couldn't afford to have altered. I am up to 175. I only needed to gain 15lbs or so. I never saw myself as obese but I do now and it really bothers me, but I can't seem to do anything to change. I binge eat when I am tired and stressed out, which has been alot lately. I only seem to be able to maintain my weight at extremes. I need help. Is this an eating disorder? I want to be normal sized again.
Amy

What extremes do you take to lose weight?

I gave up dairy, red meat, sugar, any processed foods, wheat and carb rich food, corn, fruit. I ate lots and lots of rice and veggies. I started the diet after leaving the bakerywhen I discovered I was allergic to flour and my asthma was going away. I went to a specialistwho had me trying to control my allergies by eliminating all foods known to contribute to allergies, then when I saw how much weight I had lost I kinda liked it. I stopped seeing the woman and I wouldn't eat anything with butter, margarine, anything fried, any gravy, or dressing. I refused to eat iceberg lettuce because it had no nutritional value. I took lots of vitamins so I would stay healthy, but when I needed to gain weight I lost control of it. I fantasize about frosting, and cheese. I sneak around and eat foods my freinds and family would be shocked to see me eating when noone is around because I can feel better when I eat. I just got married and I love my husband dearly and I feel like I should be happy all the time but my dad, my gram, my mom in law and gram in law have all been in and out of the hospital, my gram may never recover, my husband has been converted to part time because of budget cuts and the only time I forget about the whole mess is when I binge. I was seeing a counselor because I thought it was depression and told me I could get my life and my feelings under control if I were to get my weight under control. When I was in high school I would run when I was feeling fat, sometimes for hours and hours. I have never made myself throw up and when I cut back on my food intake I always take vitamins to supplement any nutrition I may be missing. I tried to ask my dr a few years ago if the way I ate was a disorder and he said it didn't fall into any of the classic categories and that I, like most people, was learning to balance the goog with the bad. I used to wish that I had the courage to make myself throw up so that I could stay thin. I have also tried tasting food I want and spitting it out to avoid the calories.

Hi amu!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now, remember true beauty comes from the inside regardless of the number on a scale!
Here is a page with links to three "online tests" that can give you an idea of how your eating habits are now...

http://www.geocities.com/melgsunshine/onlinetests.html

It does sound like you have gone to drastic measures in the past to lose weight, and as stressful as your life is right now sometimes it's easier to focus on the food/weight issues than have to think about all the other stuff going on in life...if you ever need someone to talk to I am here!
Good luck in the future!
~Mel

Problem

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Hi

I have been dealing with the same issue. Being 5ft nothing. I was at 13 150, size 16. Got down to a 6-8 in college. Now averaging a size 0-2 petite, having med frame, and being 116ish-i want to be 105.

I have not eaten ...lived on lollipops for days only with water, and NOW realize I want to NOT gain weight but take the empty wasted calories and BECOME healthy. No more laxatives, no more diet pills...just be healthy.

November 1st, yesterday is the 1st day since college ( I am 24 -so the past 6 years ) i am free of diet pills.

Please help and give any advice.

Feel free to join our weekly board as we all fight the battle of recovery. Some of us use OA as a support, but each of us must find our own path.

Chris