Weekly Thread: August 16-23 ODAT
 

Morning Everyone! :coffee:

I will reply to everyone in my next post (I have to go back and remember what everyone said). I saw some regret stuff this morning. Okay here it is. I am still struggling with my self will. I lost it on Saturday, and that's probaly why I was choking on my words yesterday. Talked with my food sponsor, and how about this? I kept my commitments last week. :dance: I still have two parts of my step work to do :yikes: due by Wednesday!!!!!!! But we got to let the moments passed go and hold on to the current one. In that moment we can make loving food choices, reach out for the HP of our understanding, accept that this is our journey and as God's daughters to go humbly and gently. Look at the gratitude we have here. Look at the beautiful women we all are. If anyone can read "Our Stories" and not feel compassion, love, and the heartbeats that lie underneath they do not know the definition of courage.

I am so grateful today to have all of you and this place, and this honesty. Go gently my friends. And remember if you ever need me I am here. Send me a PM and I will call, I will write, I need to get outside of me to heal. This helps me, and if it helps you too, Thank God. WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!

I love ya'll!
Chris

I just realized I closed my first thread almost the exact same way last week. I must really need to keep hearing that :lol:

Okay the kids and food thing. What do I think? Well I worry too about my son, more with anorexia than anything else since I am so anti-fat and have been dieting in one way or another his whole life. He thinks whatever I eat is awesome. Oatmeal pancakes, crustless quiche, oatmeal bread, and all my Lean Cuisines disappear when he is around. :lol: He has told me. "Mom I love sugar like you do, once I start I don't want to stop." Okay he sees the similarities. He is his own person, all our kids are. Yes we got some guilt from not being as present as we should have been in our food addiction. But this our chance to live the message. There is so much more in this life than food. Where ever our kids are today we have to trust God has a path for them, that is all their own. I try to be honest, and in return my son is honest with me. When he sees me being uncool with food he says so. He is my angel. God has got his back, I know this to the core of me.

Christy- "Cheese makes me happy" Me too! :lol: Love her just as she is. I think that is something else with our kids and all people, they want to be heard and loved just as they are. When we look for the compassionate way to deal with others we treat ourselves more kindly. Enjoy this lovely day off before work.

Kat- WOOOOOOHOOOO! We have a sponsor in our mists. Kat is living the program. YGG! We are so grateful to have you!

Vanessa- On the phone! Your awesome, keep reaching out, you are so NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!

Jenelle- I just love you and your honesty. I probably would have reacted to a crying child in the same way. Of course it would have taken everything in me to not throw it back and make fun of her. Oh my family runs strong in me. :p
How is it going today?

Linoleum- Right on with candles and soft fuzzy blankets to be grateful for. The things that comfort us beyond food, just BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!

Skippy- You don't need to ask for our forgiveness, forgive yourself girl. We love you as you come. Just keep shedding light on your behaviors.

Tracy- Your such a good mom. I think your kiddos are going to be fine. How are you and DH doing?

Michelle- :wave: How was your daughters birthday?

Me and my DH. Well finding love and compassion for him feels like a full time job. But at least I see him trying to nuture himself. ODAT!

I love ya'll!
Chris :love:

Sandi- How was your weekend! :wave:

I hope I didn't forget anyone!
Chris

You guys are a great support, thanks so much! oxo

I appreciate being able to come here and read your thoughts and being able to express mine as well. :)

More to life than food, that is SO true! Amen! Thanks for reminding me of that!

skippy oxo

A quick good morning
 

I have to get ready for work but wanted to say hi. Chris, loved your post!

Today I am grateful for:

1. Only having 2 days left before vacation ;)

2. Lazy Sundays

3. My sponsor and her support

4. The soreness in my arms, since it means I worked out. ;)

5. The guidance of my HP

Hey guys! I hope everyone's Monday went well. I wish I could give you advice Janelle, but honestly I have no words that would shed light to the situation. I also worry if I ever have kids, what their eating habits will be. I'm so strict on myself when it comes to food that I worry that I will be really hard on my children. Kudos that you want them to be healthy, that's great! Maybe you can sit down with them and work out a compromise, or maybe teach them to bake healthy kid stuff they like.
Skippy-Don't be hard on yourself, everyday is a new day my friend.. Your future is bright! Your not alone on this journey!
Chris-Hey! Slowly working my way up the communication ladder! My phone company will faint when they see I actually used my phone! :)
I hope everyone is doing great and that tommorow is even better than today!
Thinking of all of you
Peace
Vanessa

Thanks for all the kind comments, advice, or even just the "don't know what I'd do, but I feel for ya"s. It really helps just to know that there are people out there who don't think I'm a total freakin' nutcake! :lol:

Sleep deprivation is my new permanent state. There's just something about teaching all day that saps the brainpower out of you. Of course, there's always something school-wise that needs to be done when I get home, too. I'm trying to maintain a healthy balance. Part of the problem is that organization is tough for me. I feel like I have to do twice as much work to stay organized. If I let it go even an inch, I spend a week recovering. (Or sometimes, I'm tossing mounds of paper in the trash just because I can't bear to face it all!)

My gratitude list for today:
(1) I'm grateful for my handy husband, who spent his Sunday building me a bank of cubbies for my classroom.
(2) I'm grateful for my dogs, who always greet me with tails a-wagging, no matter what.
(3) I'm grateful for people who've been where I am and have done what I've done and can listen to me without judgement.
(4) I'm grateful for whatever got into Brandon today and made him decide to behave himself throughout the entire class period.
(5) I'm grateful for my warm snuggly bed!

Later, y'all ;)

I'm working to much overtime and don't have enough time to get things done that I want to. I've been to tired to even think about preparing food or exercising. So this will be short and sweet.
Everyone have a good day.

hey girls a quick driveby post from me I don't have much time since my inlaws are visiting.

Chris thanks for much for the chit chat I loved it!! Taylors birthday went very well and I'll post pics when I get more time but its now 1 am and I'm exhausted!! Thanks again sweetie!!

Love to all!!

Hi girls, hi girls. Chris, Skippy, honeys - we loves yas. It is a new day.

I'm feeling better than normal because I got a nap yesterday, then stayed up late to exercise after the kids went to bed. No rugrat interruptions!! It was awesome. And Sarah "tinkled" on her potty last night!!! YEAAA!!!

Today, we're going to my mom's to swim after Matt's monthly "headcheck" with his surgeon. Which means I get my brain to myself for an hour in the car each way. :dizzy: It's the little things!

Gratitude list:
1. My mom's pool
2. Matt's wonderful doctors
3. My soft new nightshirt - even though it spent most of the night up around my chest so Matt could breastfeed
4. Prozac
5. Clean laundry.

I'm making this the best day I can. Thank you HP!!

Ego and Beyond
 

Tracy you should see me smiling this morning, your beautiful girl :D CJ so busy and Michelle running on empty, even Jenelle is tired from the beginnings of the school year. Energy depleteing it may feel like a time to yeild to our default setting, but as Tracy pointed out maybe we yeild to the day that our HP is giving us. Melt into it as we would a lover's arms. This is surrender, this is the thing I have been forgetting. When I let go of my wants, and just am.

"When one is not driven by craving and is not under the sway of the world, one can operate under different laws, taking directions from the inside"-Ravi Ravindra

Its time to quit fighting with me, its time to start to be. Thats where I am today.

Gratitude List
1. All of you, you let me see the world through your eyes
2. A good nights rest
3. Honest communication
4. Candles, warm blankets, flushy toliets, all the conviences in life that bring me comfort
5. Another day to try, try again

:love:
Chris

There is OA by mail and on-line sponsorship. In fact me and my food sponsor live close and I see here every other Saturday, but daily we do e-mail. Give it 5 or 6 meetings to decide Skip, and if you can go to a F2F meeting. It makes people real! :grouphug:

Chris

Thanks Chris! oxo

Hey all! Another tired teacher checking in. No students until next Tuesday, but all of the meetings are a real brain drain. Who am I kidding? I love it all!

Computer is acting freaky so I'll have to make this quick. Thinking of all of you and doing pretty well here. Food is good; exercise is nonexistent; mood is improving and I haven't had any side effects from the meds yet. Yay!

I'll try to check back in later tonight for a longer visit.

Love and hugs,
Christy

Hello...what day is it? where am I? who am I? :rofl:

I have just been kick-assed exhausted, but it's a good kind of exhausted. I really feel like an effective teacher so far - let's hope that continues all year! :) Plus, my daughter has expressed an interest in starting back to swimming. She was on a swim team for about a year, but finances and the distance we had to drive eventually led to us having to take her off the team. She was watching the Olympics and mentioned that she missed swimming. She went to the gym with me last night and swam laps for about a half hour. (I didn't swim - I can't! :o ) She had a great time and is talking about joining a newer team much closer to home. I'm excited for her because she's really good at it and she loves it so much.

As for me, I'm doing well. Still packing my lunch every day. Still trying to get in the exercise (easier during the school year when I'm on my feet all day!). Here's today's gratitude list:

(1) I am grateful for my small class sizes.
(2) I'm grateful for nice, cozy sweatpants after a long day in slacks.
(3) I'm grateful for copy machines that don't jam.
(4) I'm grateful for sunshiny days.
(5) I'm grateful for cashiers who smile at me and ask me to have a nice day.

Hey guys! Just checking in before I head on to bed tonight. Skippy, hang in there! Don't let food control how you feel... if you eat something that you thought was bad, don't let those bad thoughts come knocking on your door! The best way I've dealt with it was by reading, crossword puzzles, ONLINE SUPPORT groups :), taking a walk, listening to music. Always open another door, when one closes. Identify your triggers also...stress,boredom, bad thoughts, etc.
Tracy-I hear you on the Prozac!!
Chris-Warm Blankets....Sigh.. especially after you get them from the dryer!
God Bless all of you!
Peace
Vanessa

Today I am grateful for:
1. The physical ability to ride my bike
2. The fact that my husband can act like a silly second grader
3. Packed lunches
4. The warm, sunny day that it turned out to be today (after almost two weeks of drizzly rain)
5. I get to sleep in tomorrow

Hi Ladies. After being so perky yesterday morning you probably wanted to slap me, I had a yucky day. We had to wait to see Matt's doc in a packed waiting room for over an hour - Sarah's pull-up leaked, Matt got hungry and tired, and my late night caught up with me all at once. I'm usually very laid back and understanding in those situations (his doc deals with birth defects, so his appointments can run long and be involved) but it was not my day. I started glaring at his nurse every time she walked by.

Felt like a zombie the rest of the day, and the kids didn't get good naps, and Sarah was a pill for the rest of the evening. I went a little nuts on pretzels during Gilmore Girls after I finally got away from them.

But today is a new day, and I've already gotten my exercise in, and we're not going anywhere, so - that's what I'm thankful for.

My gratitude list:
1. Matt's talented, caring doctors
2. Gilmore Girls - the dialogue cracks me up!!
3. My new nightshirt - again!!
4. My DH
5. that yesterday is in the past and today is all I've got. :coffee:

Take care!

hi girls! i am a newbie/lurker. working my program imperfectly since april. i dont have any time to attend meetings anymore, but i do get to an AA bigbook study once a week. i am currently doing my 4th step...looking for someone to give my fifth to, maybe a therapist who helped me and my husband a while back....
any way, i am grateful for the program, i am grateful for my god, and i am grateful to have found a 'room' full of coe's. i am not so grateful that i am late for work...[B]ok, have a recovering day,
and dont believe the lie,....'one little bite wont hurt'........
luv
kim

Well I went last night
 

Kicking and screaming into my OA meeting. I so did not want to be there. Of course thats when you should go. This self will thing is just kicking my ***. I want to be thin, I want my life perfect, I want a perfect husband, and a perfect job, I want, I want, I want. Knowing full well God already knows what I want, and he has a plan for all the things in my life. So this morning after I get off line I am going to throw myself into my program before I go to the gym this afternoon. I have had a deep chest cough, and running thoughts its time to treat myself gently. The most dangerous place I can be is inside my own head.

Christy- I am glad your not having any side effects. Whats going wonky with your computer? I think my son has given me a virus. My computer keeps trying to download something called Pokemon.exe.

Jenelle- Who are you? :D The struggle to know who I am in truth and spirit, is the spiritual quest- Ravi Ravidra ;) What wonderful nuturing things you are doing for yourself. I always pack my luch and it gives me something to look foreward to :D

Linoleum- I slept in today too. I might even go take a nap :D

Tracy- No one is going to slap you around here. Take comfort and a bit of humor in the fact the days go as God wants them too. When we surrender that, life gets awful funny. :grouphug:

Welcome Kim :grouphug: ODAT and please come share your ESH! :wave:

Kat, CJ, Sandi, Michelle :grouphug:
Have the day your meant to have!
:love:
Chris

Hello All!! My work schedule has been crazy, on days that I teach I don't have much time for the boards. Today I only teach in the afternoon.

Honesty is where I am at right now. I am a HUGE proponent of being honest, but yet I lie to myslef every day. That is what I am trying to change. Making Honest evalutaions of what I eat and how it makes me feel. My trigger foods list now has 2 items. I am just adding the things that I would have eaten on a normal basis before. Not adding things that I tend to stay away from anyway. Don't want to focus on the negative.

Went to my second OA meeting on Sunday and got a 12 step and a workbook. I haven't opened them yet. I am enjoying the change of focusing on how I feel and how food makes me feel and planning life that way and everything not being about the food. I have started following a 1800 calorie plan with some success. This week I will add in some needed exercise. I making more good choices than bad and am grateful that I realize that one bad choice is an isolated choice and the next one can be a good choice.

I am geeting a littlelost in the acronymns for some reason. ESH? There is another, but I can't find it!!

I am grateful for:
1. Jacob's smile
2. Friends to talk to
3. People who care enough to be honest with me
4. Everyone here
5. God in heaven who is taking care of my Dad today on his birthday

Chris - you are such a blessed person. You amaze me.

Kim - I have never been to an OA meeting online, it is like a chat?

treasaigh - Sorry your day was such a challenge. Glad today seems to be more on track.

Jennelle - Jacob really enjoys swimming. I think we are going to sign him back up this year too! That will also help get me back in the gym. Kudos on packing your lunch. That is the surest way for me to stay on track!

elizabecca - What's going on with your computer??

MichelleRae - Hope you are having fun with the in-laws

Hi to linoleum, mugirl2003, skippy257, ceejay52!!

It's so strabge to have been on the boards for so long and still feel like such a newbie over here!!!

Acronymns:

F2F= Face to face
ESH= Experience, Strength, and Hope
ODAT= One day at a time
Fear= Face everthing and recover or False evidence appearing real

I am sure there are more.
Sandi- Honesty is so awesome. I sometimes worry when I read "How it works" that I am one of those poor unfortunates :lol:

Chris

Hey girls! Today the whole faculty was back at school. Tomorrow is meet the teacher day. My classroom is ready, but I still have to do some planning for next week.

My computer is still running verrrry s-l-o-w-l-y and locking up on me. It's still under warranty, but the problem seems to be spyware or something (I think) and customer service won't help with that. I should probably take it in and let someone work on it, but my DH would have a fit. He's a great man, but one of these ultra privacy freaks who believes all of our deepest darkest secrets are locked up somewhere inside this thing. I'll have to do something soon because my class this fall will have some online discussion groups, etc.

Chris -- Love your new pics. You look so cute! Is your hair naturally curly? I've always wanted curly hair, but mine is as straight as a stick. Good for you on getting to that meeting!

Sandi -- What do you teach? I'm glad you're feeling more positive now and making more good choices than bad. That's a cool way to think of it.

Kim -- Welcome! Jump right in, we're a great group!

Tracey -- Glad Matt's apppointment went well...when it finally got going! I've never watched the Gilmore Girls. My guilty TV pleasure is Nip/Tuck right now.

Vanessa -- Lovely gratitude lists. I like how specific you were about your husband's silliness. LOL You must know some second graders!

Jennelle -- It's great that your year is off to a good start. So when will your daughter's swim team start meeting? My oldest DD starts her dance classes back in September; youngest DD has hung up her dancing shoes. She'd much rather play in the dirt than dress up in some froo-froo costume and dance. It's funny because she really seemed to have a natural ability for it.

skippy -- Hope your having a better day today. In my personal experience, I haven't had any luck with online sponsors. I had two different ones who just dropped me, leaving me to feel even worse about myself! Maybe the third time would have been the charm, but I haven't been ready for that yet. I'm not really working the steps right now.

Michelle -- How are the in-laws? Hope you're having fun!

Hello to Kat and ceejay!

I'm off to pretend to cook supper. LOL I hope to drop back by later.

Love to you all,
Christy

Hey guys! I hope all is well in everyone's land.. I had a pretty crazy day, but I was able to go out tonight with a good friend, which I have not did in the longest time. But it looks like everyone made it over hump day!!
Christy-Was your post meant for me?? LOL I don't have a husband or any 2nd graders :)!! Hopefully a husband some day though!
My Gratitude list:
1. My warm fuzzy Coca Cola blanket
2. Sunsets
3. Laughter
4. Great friends!
5. For the future!

Yikes...sorry Vanessa! I meant that for linoleum. :o I can highly recommend both husbands and second graders for you sometime in the future though. :lol:

Apparently confused,
Christy

I'm just checking in to say hello.
I'm truely grateful for tomorrow and Friday off.
Sometimes I don't get to post and will be back to talk to every one tomorrow--

Pretend to cook supper, lol, that's cute! (I only cook what I "have" to!) Cooking and sewing are not my things, I'd rather be watching a football game, lol.

Well, I don't know how much worse I can get with my eating right now. Every morning I wake up and say it's a new day, but by the time I go to sleep I have literally made myself sick from all the junk I ate. I'm sure there is more going on here than I can even see why I am doing this, I am pretty sure I am emotional eater, and somehow I find comfort in sweets/sugar food. And normally I know why I am eating "emotionally", but lately things have been going good, kids are totally great, husband has been nice, lol, and I'm just really blessed! So I'm not sure what's going on?? All I can think of, is that when I see myself in the mirror, I do not like what I see, and it depresses me very much, makes me feel really down and very disconnected from people if that makes sense, not my family though, but all other people.

Oprah had a most excellent show on the other day! (I love Oprah by the way, lol)....Wynonna Judd was on there, and it was about her weight. It was actually a follow-up to a previous show with her. But she said such encouraging and true things, my mom and I were calling each other back and forth crying during the show, lol, but she was saying how important (and hard) it was for her to realize that she is worthy and she is beautiful. She is worthy for being born, she is worthy for who she is....etc and I was thinking to myself, yes, I am worthy too (although it's easier said than done because I don't think I really feel that)....she was saying she was worthy to eat right and like herself ....etc Even though I am a big sports fan, I also like all the cutesy accessories, fashion earrings, pink tennis shoes, lol, butterfly clip barrettes....etc and I think many times I am ashamed to wear them because I think I am not small enough, that only if I were smaller I could wear those things and it be ok. I'll wear them around the house happily, but once I get out in the real world, I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I just am using some of those for an example to describe how I feel. So I've been relating to Wynonna, in thinking, why do I have to be embarrassed and ashamed? This is who I am and if people cannot accept who I am and like me for who I am, is it really my fault because of my weight? I think it's all in my head probably, and I think it's lies of the negative force within me. I personally believe in an evil one (satan), but however one looks at it, no matter what a person believes, I think we all have a negative force that tries to take over us instead of the positive one winning. I want the positive side to win, and dominate the negative. I seem to just fine in this with other people and other situations, it's only "my situation" or "myself" that I allow the negative to do this to me.

I also want to close by saying, I am sorry if I come across sad or discouraged all the time, because actually I am very happy upbeat person, I love to laugh and I love having fun. I absolutely cherish and thank God everyday I get to be with these precious children of mine, they are absolutely the best kids in the world! They are my treasures!! They make me smile everyday! :angel: And I am so blessed to have my husband too, he is precious also!! :love:I love my family!

I think this is a "me" problem, it's something within myself that I just can't get over or like. I do have a problem liking myself many times. I've always been a very insecure person, so I am sure that is a huge part of the problem, but I am going to have to figure out a way to overcome that, or I'll never be able to beat this thing I have with food.

Wow, thanks SO much for listening! I know that was a lot (and I have much more, lol) but I'll spare you for now, lol....but I do feel much better by saying all that, thanks so much for letting me! oxo


Much love,
skippy oxo

Morning Everyone!
 

:coffee: :coffee: :coffee:

My throat is about swollen shut this morning, I would love to blame my cold house, the chest cold I have been fighting with, anything but my disease. :p Last night I counted up the weeks if I want to fullfill my service position I am signed up for in October I have to get abstinent today. No more bullshit, no more hiding, no more half measures. I hate to say it, but it is quite a motivation for me. I want to be the Step 11 speaker.

I did end up taking the topic last night (don't you laugh Jenelle :lol: ) Jenelle asked me to post on what I spoke about. I did OA slogans. Here are a few of my favorites:

Go gently.
It's none of my business what others think of me.
Do the next right thing.
Keep it simple sweetie.
Progress not perfection.
If nothing changes, then nothing changes.
Keep my own side of the street clean.
Don't eat no matter what, even if your butt fall off :lol:

I am sure there are more. Maybe you gals can add some.

Christy- My hair has natural wave in it, so I am one of the few who can choose straight or curly unless the humidity is through the roof :rofl:

I hope everyone is having a blessed and recovery based day. I will be back. There is lots to do to get my house in order.

:grouphug:
Thank you gals for being here everyday. I love our board and all of you!
Chris

Skippy! We posted at the same time. You don't have to be anything else for us other than what you are. I am going to say this to you about the food. We are powerless, not hopeless, thats why there is a power greater than ourselves that can take these emotional burdens and this food everyday. Is your definition of your HP working for you today? Think about it. PM me if you want to.

Chris

((skippy)) -- Are you my sister? LOL I struggle so much with the worthiness thing every day. I am worthy if I help someone out. I'm worthy if my house is clean. I'm worthy if I'm able to please everyone. I'm worthy if I don't burden others with "me". I'm worthy if the kids in my class perform well on the standardized testing. I will be back to post more on this, but now I've got to get ready for Open House. It's going to be a long evening, but I should be in around ten and I'll try to post more then.

Chris -- Love the slogans. The first time I heard "Don't eat no matter what" I was thinking "ummmm....okaaay". I thought I was gonna trade my coe for anorexia. LOL Yep...sometimes I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer!

Back later,
Christy

Hey girls!! I had a bad day yesterday so my Inlaws left this morning, too much tension...
My house looks wonderful though I'm going to try and post pics tonight :)

I miss you all!!!

Hi there
 

Skippy, I agree with Chris. Just be you and we'll love you no matter what. :)

Chris, love the slogans! Thanks.

Christy, how did the Open House go?

Michelle, sorry about your rough day. Hope today was better!

Went to a f2f meeting this morning (rather big deal for me since I am on vacation and getting up that early on vacation is basically unheard of for me ;) :lol: ). Then got a pedicure/manicure with a friend and her baby (yes, we are still trying - first 2 months were a bust because my cycle was a mess due to grief and stress...things are starting to get back on track).

My new sponsee did not work out, unfortunately. She did not want (or was unable to) email me daily - and that is a big thing for me - daily contact. So, I wish her the best. Can't help but be bummed out (hello human nature!) - I was excited to start with a new sponsee. Working with someone else really helps me focus on my own program, too.

But, Thy (HP) will, not mine, be done. So HP has me on a certain path. ;)

Things are going better with DH. Still up and down but the downs are shorter and not as frequent. I am also feeling better and more on track with my program.

Here's a great meditation I got in my email box:

Self-will is exhausting.

Many of us have worked ourselves into a frenzy over something that simply
would not turn out according to our best-laid plans. We can get upset over
anything from a piece of equipment that won't work properly to a
relationship that appears to be drifting or on the rocks. In desperation, we
may try to "fix" the problem with excess food or self-starvation.

Insisting on our will, our way, and our schedule is usually an extremely
frustrating experience. It's like trying to push water uphill: we wear
ourselves out. And we're subject to much fear, since deep down we have a
sinking feeling that insisting on our way may not work.

What a relief it is to take Step Three and accept our Higher Power's will
for our lives. This acceptance applies to the small details of each day as
well as to the big picture. We do our part the best we can, but the outcome
belongs to a Power greater than ourselves. Therein lies serenity.

*

Just for today, I will accept my Higher Power's will and be serene.

Today I am grateful for:
1. My husband who is very supportive
2. My two beautiful daughters
3. My beautiful home
4. baby steps
5. thunderstorms
6. each day god gives me
7. having 2 cars that run

Kat so sorry your new sponsee didn't work out :( Another will come along, I'm sure you are a wonderful sponser!!

Love to you all
Michelle

Hello girls! How is everyone doing? I'm vegging out in front of my tv watching Headline news, which is one of my fave. channels.. Is that sad? LOL I've been up since 3am, we had a horrible thunderstorm/typhoon that literally shook my apartment! So I got up and watched Headline News(see what I mean? LOL) until about 4, then I left for work. Skippy-I def. hear you on the "worthiness" part.. Gosh, do I ever. If I could ever accept myself as someone who does screw up sometimes, then maybe my life would be a little happier.
Michelle-How are you doing? Are things going better today?
Chris-Hi ya! Still no complaints on the Prozac :)
Christy-It's ok!!! LOL Maybe you typed my destiny out, ya think?? :)
God Bless, and TGIF...well almost!!
Love
Vanessa

I had a day off today but had to go to a water meeting and pick up some papers at the podiatrist office to take with me to pre-op on the 30th.

Food has not been the best but I have not binged either so I'm happy.

Chris--I like the Go Gently and It's none of my business what other's think about me. So true. Sorry your throat is swollen. Get better soon.

Michelle--Sorry you had a bad day.

Kat--you're verse that states Just for today, I will accept my Higher Power's
will, and be serene. I need that as my daily motto.

Skippy--All of at some time or the other have day's that we don't feel worthy of ourselves. Just remember we care about you.

I have admitted again to myself that I do have an eating disorder. And will start working on the 12 steps in the morning. I have given my disorder to my HP.

Skippy - I'm not able to respond as I'd like right now, but I can empathize with much of what you wrote. I wanted to send you a hug and kiss right away!! :grouphug: I'll be back tomorrow.

Nighty night, girls. Hope you feel better tomorrow, Chris!

"It's none of my business what others think of me" is wonderful for me, especially. Thanks, Chris!!

Skippy - I find that when other things in my life are good, that's when my eating is bad - it's as though I have to sabotage my happiness. Pretty obnoxious habit. And I'm so unhappy with how I look in my clothes that instead, I have the urge to buy lots of shoes and handbags. :?:

Kat, HP knew what she was doing by messing up your cycle. I'm sure conceiving would be bittersweet right now - you'll get there, but you certainly have enough on your plate right now. And I hope you find a new sponsee!

Michelle, Vanessa, Christy, Jennelle, Linoleum, Kim - Hi to all! CJ, your attitude is admirable. I need me some o dat.

As for me, DD is still being a pill and refusing to nap. I can't figure it out, she seems so tired. I'm going to do yoga this am while DS yells at me and then take them out for a bit. I promise I won't buy any shoes. :devil:

Have a good day, ladies.

I really wish I could express how much all of your replies have meant to me. It's such a comfort to know that there are other people who understand how I am feeling and not that I want any of you to be going through it, but it's less lonely knowing that others "are" going through it and we can relate to each other. I feel blessed to be able to talk to you all. Thanks for listening to me, and I'm sorry that it always seems like I need to be listened to. Hopefully one day I can lend "my" ear more than having to borrow "your" ears. I am SO glad I found this place with you guys here!

I look forward to the day where I have much of this negativity I feel about myself behind me, and I'm going to try and believe it "will" happen. (today I'll feel like that anyway, lol) I look forward to the day where I don't hide from people I used to know because of my weight. I look forward to the day where I am not ashamed for my husband's co-workers to see what his wife looks like. I look forward to the day I can walk through the Mall without worrying what people think about me. I am going to believe these things will happen.I look forward to the day where I don't get disgusted when I see myself in pictures or the mirror. I really want to lose weight and feel better about myself, but I want to like myself whether I do or don't, and feel that I still deserve to like myself regardless. :)

I feel better now. Again. Thanks you guys! oxoxooxoxoxooxo


Much Love, skippy :love:

Service is slimming
 

Yesterday was a very service based day for me. Help others and you get back what you give about 100 fold. It also gets me outside of the "poor Chris" party my brain likes to have sometimes. With that said I highly reccomend reaching out for someone that could be you. If you can see their disease and have compassion and love for them, you can treat yourself in the same gentle way when things get rough.

Skippy- Life is a 24 hour program, today is all we get and surrender ot to the HP of your understanding and you will be amazed at what gets done.

Tracy- I got to take my kiddo school shopping :rolleyes: couldn't I go to the dentist or something :lol: Go gently.

CJ- So what do you have to do to prepare for foot surgery? And how much time will you have off?

Vanessa- But you said it! you realize that if you can take you as you come, screw ups, and all WITHOUT the JUDGEMENT, how much more kind can you be to yourself?

Michelle- The blessing is at least the in-laws knew to leave :lol: So let's see the house.

Kat- NEEDED THAT MEDITATION! SELF WILL IS SO EXHAUSTING! Chris power has never worked before and it won't work now. Sorry your sponsee didn't work out. When its meant to be its up to HP :D

Christy- You are just so beautifully you. How are the back to school stressors? And where is Jenelle?

Sandi, Linoleum, and any lurkers, new posters here :wave:
:grouphug:
Chris