[sensualappeal]

So, I'm not a big fan of the entire "new years resolutions" thing, but I am putting together a panel of experts (free telesummit) for the new year to talk about being the best you. Not really "resolutions" specific but overall health, wellness, etc.

I had a question for you, if there was ONE thing you would want to learn from an expert to help you be your best YOU (not just in the new year but always), what would it be? The sky is the limit, I'm just curious.

If you could tell me one thing you'd wanna know from each of these categories:
- food
- fitness
- emotions
- spiritual
- life & relationships

Also, in what order would you prefer to learn all of these things to really set you up for success?

[Palestrina]

I don't want to reinvent the wheel and in pretty sure there are no secrets to happiness or weightloss. The one thing that has made a difference in my life is learning how to be comfortable in my own skin, finding enjoyment in every task and every moment of the day and releasing myself from the chains of self guilt. Once I let go of guilt wonderful things started happening to me including weightloss and the foreseeable end to my eating disorder.

[Big Fat Rooster]

Seems to me there would be a lot of posts on this very important set of criteria.

I have been on life's journey for quite a while now, 73 almost 74 years.

The response to your first question is being secure in myself, learning how to and applying it. Not allowing others to dictate how I feel nor think nor what I want to be, what I am or want to be. To realize I am the captain of my own ship and I am the most important person in the world to me. To not allow others any space in my head from critical criticism, they pay no rent and do not belong there.

1. - spiritual life, relationships and emotional control. These all relate back to the first sentence. They are all equally important, with any missing I do not have the others. And as for spiritual life, I do not mean religion, but instead a meaningful way of life with happiness, thoughtful consideration of others but not at an undue cost to ones self. Relationships... as with all other people, I am not speaking of boy/girl stuff. The boy/girl stuff will take care of itself if you have your life in order. Emotions... One must have control of their emotions, be aware of all but keep them under control. Either you control your emotions or your emotions control you. If you do not have emotional control you will not succeed at anything but street sweeping, and there will be some not wanting you to sweep in front of their houses. No one wants to work with an overly emotional person, nor work for one nor have one for a supervisor working under them. Emotional decisions almost always are the wrong decisions. But a person should be in touch with their emotions as well. An emotion-less person is as bad as an overly emotional person, nobody wants to be around them also. The definition for a gentleman and lady are the same except for gender.... One who is kind, considerate and thoughtful towards others. One must be spiritual in order to do that well, and those are prime requirements for all relationships, whether personal, family, true love, fellow workers and public in general to succeed and the key to being respected and loved by others.


2. - food.. will be no problem if one is proficient at the above. People with addictive problems are people who have personal personality problems which need to be resolved in order to work through the addictive problem.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, which started the 12 step programs and of which many therapy programs got their starts... In their meetings alcohol is not that much talked about. 90% of the talk is about spiritual, relationships, etc.

The other drug programs, and over-eaters anonymous also dwell on working on the personal problems, getting a spiritual life. They know that the addiction is but a symptom, one MUST treat the person. And the only person one can treat is them self. The only way to change another person is to change how you relate to them and they must to change in order to relate to the new you.

21 years alcohol free, 37 years tobacco free, losing weight-- so far down 65 from a little over a year ago. Plus fairly spiritual, under emotional control, secure in myself as a person and who decides his own path in life. I wish I had of learned how many many years earlier. I used to want to be anybody else besides myself. Now, I do not want to be anyone except myself.



I hope this helps a bit.

B F R

[faiora]

Originally Posted by sensualappeal

So, I'm not a big fan of the entire "new years resolutions" thing, but I am putting together a panel of experts (free telesummit) for the new year to talk about being the best you. Not really "resolutions" specific but overall health, wellness, etc.

I had a question for you, if there was ONE thing you would want to learn from an expert to help you be your best YOU (not just in the new year but always), what would it be? The sky is the limit, I'm just curious.

If you could tell me one thing you'd wanna know from each of these categories:
- food
- fitness
- emotions
- spiritual
- life & relationships

Also, in what order would you prefer to learn all of these things to really set you up for success?

NOTE UP FRONT: I don't want responses to my questions from forum members. I'm providing my questions as a way to express myself and who I am, and as a way to directly answer OP's question. These are not questions I want opinions on.

Alright, you've had some great responses but from what I'm picking up they're both "I reject this concept, just be the best you" type answers so just for the sake of argument, I'll answer your question directly. Again, those guys have good answers. Just want to reiterate that.

Here are the things I want to know in each category. I have put them in the order of importance for me.

Emotions

How can I become genuinely more in touch with my own emotional state? And how do I control certain emotions just enough so they aren't obvious to everyone around me?

People know I'm sad or frustrated before I know. For instance, if I was trying hard to do something and I failed, and someone points it out to me, I might start crying. But I don't understand why I'm crying. My logical mind is always in the forefront saying "This is fine, she's right, I failed at that. Of course, it was an ambitious task to begin with and I have an opportunity now to try again. She's not even being mean about it, look! Stop crying! Your reaction doesn't make sense!" but some emotional part of me is connected to my tear ducts. How does that happen?

I'm assuming I need to get in touch with my emotions in order to have more control over them - perhaps that's an incorrect assumption. But surely it's a good start. What do I do?

Fitness

I'd like to find out my BMR in the most accurate possible way (measured heat expenditure at rest, I believe), so I know what my body really burns at rest, and how many calories I really need. I've gotten pretty close with DXA scans and I LOVE that kind of data, but I want to really know my body on the inside, and its functions.

I also want to know what direct effects exercise and weight loss have on my personal health problems, in particular my heart function.

Food

I'd like to know how many calories are REALLY in the food I'm eating. Too many of the MyFitnessPal listings are guesswork, like when I go to a sushi place and try and figure out what rolls at other restaurants are probably comparable to rolls at my local sushi spot.

Unfortunately the only way to get this information (short of making everything I eat from scratch at home) is to get it from the restaurant, and the little hole-in-the-wall family-run sushi shop down the street is unlikely to work out all of that for me, or give me the recipe so I can work it out. And I definitely can't do that for every restaurant I visit.

Spiritual

This isn't an area I have a lot of problems in, since I'm neither religious nor spiritual. I love science, and while I think there are a lot of things yet unexplained, any given thing has a scientific explanation. That's the nature of science.

With that said, I think spirituality and religion (in most ways) are good things which are helpful to society and humanity. Most importantly, they give people hope. And I think all of us have to find hope in our own way.

So on that note, why is hope important to me? Is it simply for productivity and advancement of the race? Is it survival instinct, or is there somewhere more innately human this thought comes from?

Life & Relationships

I put this down at the bottom of the list because even though I'm not great at interpersonal stuff, I have an amazing husband and I've improved so much in the interpersonal area over the last ten years (with my SO's help, but also on my own) that I'm proud of myself, and willing to let this rest for a while.

That said, I'd like to know how to get out of my own head more while talking to people. I think I startle people with what I say because I express my true opinions in person, in contexts where a lot of people are more diplomatic than I am. Afterwards I often feel like it was unnecessary to share my thoughts. And I remember that other people's opinions of me directly affect my life, so I should pay more attention to what people think of me.

I have no interest in pretending I don't have an opinion, or nodding along with what everyone else is saying, but how can I keep my own counsel, quietly?

NOTE AGAIN: I don't want responses to my questions from forum members. I'm providing my questions as a way to express myself and who I am, and as a way to directly answer OP's question. These are not questions I want opinions on.