Over the last few months I have worked on letting go of all the tracking methods and equipment I've used to diet. I didn't start off obsessed but slowly over time I kept adding on a form of tracker that would help keep me accountable of my actions. Each one was like a badge of honor, proof that I was a responsible healthy human in charge and in control of my actions. They were proof that I was trying, that I was working hard, proof of my healthy intentions and my commitment to being healthy.
As I started to release myself of these trackers I felt scared and out of sorts. Like taking the training wheels of my bike. Would I be trustworthy to eat without my food scale? Would I lose weight if I didn't track my carbs? Would I exercise if I didn't log it? But slowly and surely I've done well without them. And to tell you the truth I didn't think it was a big deal to have all these trackers until I confesses them to my NT last week and she genuinely looked surprised at how many there were. I even confesses to my BFF yesterday and she started crying. She had no idea that I was buried in a world of constant logging and dieting.
Goodbye old trust methods. I think I'm balanced on 2 wheels now!
- food log
- MyFitnessPal
- LoseIt app (yes I used both, simultaneously)
- all my "health" magazine subscriptions
- measuring tape
- Fitbit
- food scale
- health food sites
- weight loss shows
- exercise log
- exercise challenges
The one I struggle with now is giving up the scale. I'm still too dependent on it. I'm going on a 6wk vacation to Europe next week and will have no access to one. Hopefully when I get back the addiction to that will be gone too.
Freedom
Last edited by Palestrina; 07-05-2014 at 09:24 AM.
Thanks! And I don't mean to say that others should do the same. These are all fantastic and served their purpose for some time. But the obsession became a hindrance and led to a debilitating dependence and loss of self trust. I think it fostered or was a symptom of my ED.
Oh yes. I totally understand what you meant. Everyone is different. What can be a help for some can be a burden and debilitating for others. I am just glad you found what works for YOU!
those were all good things you were using and they sound helpful but too much of anything is not good. everything in moderation or quit cold turkey like you did is the way to go. congratulations!
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Patience, there are a lot of people who don't own a scale. For some, the only time they get weighed is when they go to the doctor, or to their WW meeting, or at a friend's house, etc. A scale can fluctuate from day to day. Many people get very frustrated by these fluctuations.
On the other hand, everyone wears clothes. When they start to get a little snug, you have gained. When they get a little loose, you have lost.
Wannabeskinny has said repeatedly that she is trying to let go of her obsessions with food and weight, and this is just one more step. And I applaud her for it!
I've managed to reduce my obsession with the scale but not eliminate ate it entirely. I uses to weigh myself religiously on Monday mornings and log it carefully. Then I would weigh myself unofficially on Thursday mornings but NOT write it down. I have logs that date back years. Now I let go of Thursday weigh ins and can sometimes skip a Monday too. Heck sometimes I weigh in on a Saturday instead and that's good too, analog as I'm shaking things up just a little then I know I'm not being rigidly obsessive.
Whether its good or bad is not the point, it serves a different purpose for anyone and I understand that. Where it got bad for me is that I was letting it dictate how I felt about myself. Sometimes I feel so good about not binging and feeling beautiful in my clothes. Then I step on the scale to validate that feeling and the scale falls short. Either I didn't lose as much as I thought I did or I gained - either way it makes me feel awful. Even if I lost more than I thought, I've ruined my good feelings by crediting the weightloss rather than my own internal gratification.
I look forward to not having a scale on vacation. I'm sure there area my things to be learned in the weeks ahead. I have zero fears that I will gain weight.
I didn't own a scale until a few years ago. I maintained my weight Im guessign within about 5 pounds because I stayed the same size almost all my adult life. If my clothes started to get snug I knew it was time to evaluate some habits. If I was at a friends house and they had a scale I would hop on in curiosity. If I was at the dr I got weighed. Other than that, no weighing.
wannabe, I have totally used lose it and my fitness pal simultaneously. I thought I was the only one who would ever do that. Good for you for getting rid of these trackers in your life!
Thank you all for the encouragement. I'm really amazed still and actively pursuing the benefits of not tracking my every move, mood, or food. I walk upstairs and think "I can't believe I don't have my fitbit here to track this and I'm still doing it. I feel unencumbered excited like a teenager who's parents just went away and left her alone for the whole weekend and free to do anything she wants. But no wild parties here, trust begets trustworthy behavior.
The only time the scale gets out of hand is when I'm really stressed out and I start weighing everyday. It's anxious behavior and my state of mind is evident based on how much it how little I weigh myself.
Pinkhippie that's amazing that you didn't weigh yourself for that long. Most of my friends who are normal eaters tell me that they hardly ever weigh themselves and express no fears about gaining weight. On my way to being that awesome!
Anxiety is one of the major components of my ED. Getting rid of these trackers has helped tremendously. And with the help of my NT I've learned many more ways to cope with every kind of emotion that arises including anxiety. Nothing is being channeled in inappropriate ways. I'm not replacing bad habits with other bad habits if that's what you mean.
I can tell you one thing from my own experience. When I haven't been weighing for a long time, I can almost always guess within a 5 lb range, and usually within a two pound range, how much I weigh even when there has been a big change. Deep down, I always know what size I am, whether I am choosing to look at the scale or not. If you feel that letting go of the scale is a good idea-- definitely go for it.
I can tell you one thing from my own experience. When I haven't been weighing for a long time, I can almost always guess within a 5 lb range, and usually within a two pound range, how much I weigh even when there has been a big change. Deep down, I always know what size I am, whether I am choosing to look at the scale or not. If you feel that letting go of the scale is a good idea-- definitely go for it.
You're right, deep down we know who we are. Luckily wenarenso much more than a number on a scale.
It's been 3 weeks since I have weighed myself. Letting go of the scale has been by far the hardest step for me and I still look forward to the day that Ivan weigh myself at the end of August, especially since my clothes are looser now and I know that I've lost weight and I'm dying to know how much. But I'm keeping it cool and trying to enjoy this as a non scale victory. Even with loose clothing I have a hard time accepting that I am losing weight.
I have completely stopped thinking about my fitbit or even wanting to wear it. Calorie thoughts pop up on days that I feel stress and anxiety but otherwise I don't count or ration anything.
I've been taking long walks on the beach everyday and found myself counting my steps as I walk (another bad habit) and since I realized it I've not been allowin myself to. The beginning is hard to steer my mind from it but once I do it's fine. Instead I focus on my surroundings and really try to be present instead of thinking about numbers.
I guess I need the reward of seeing the scale inch down (or stay put, during pregnancy.) And I know I need the accountability of the amount of calories I've taken in, there in black and white.
I do hope to mature in my healthy eating patterns to where I don't need to log food. Would you go back to it if you found yourself eating with abandon? Or just experiencing surprise gains?
IE - losing track of trackers!
Everyone is different. What can be a help for some can be a burden and debilitating for others. I am just glad you found what works for YOU! 
