Thanks so much mars. You have also dispensed a great deal of kindness and wisdom to me and others. My son was doing better this morning which I hope is not temporary.

I just saw this interesting article: http://universityofcalifornia.edu/ne...rule-our-minds

Wow, that's a fascinating link Lucky. i read a while back about gut bacteria such as yeast coopting our brain to make us crave the sugar that they need to survive. It does sometimes seem like someone else is calling the shots with my eating behavior.

I hope your little one had a good day (and that you'll feel free to come here for support or just to vent).

Morning all. Woke up early to the lovely sound of rain here in drought-stricken California. :rain: :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:

Still thinking about gut bacteria and sugar craving.....I'm stuck on this: if yeast and other sugar-loving bacteria in our colon are driving us to eat sugar, how does the sugar get to those bacteria in the colon if sugar is rapidly absorbed into the bloodstream, presumably in the small intestine? I wouldn't think much sugar actually makes it to the lower intestinal tract where these beasties live.

I would like to see if anyone is actively researching these issues, including leaky gut syndrome. Seems doable to sample intestinal flora in a systematic way and also find direct physical evidence for leaky gut syndrome. Meanwhile, I'll hedge my bets and go buy some Bubbie's probiotic sauerkraut. :chin:

I tend to binge on sugary treats with some regularity, about once/week. No matter what else is going on in my life emotionally or even while sticking to Ideal Protein and losing weight as I'm currently doing. According to an acquaintance who reads up on this topic, sugar craving is caused by die-off of sugar-loving microbes as they run out of fuel. They signal the brain somehow to crave more. Maybe for me this process is a 7 day cycle. I'm skeptical but interested. :D

I just remembered a recent IP coaching video which linked to this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22064556

J Clin Gastroenterol. 2012 Jan;46(1):16-24. doi: 10.1097/MCG.0b013e31823711fd.
The intestinal microbiota and obesity.
Kallus SJ1, Brandt LJ.
Author information

Abstract
Obesity has been and continues to be an epidemic in the United States. Obesity has been addressed in multiple health initiatives, including Healthy People 2010, with no state meeting the proposed goal of a prevalence of obesity < 15% of the adult population. In contrast, obesity rates have continued to increase, with the self-reported prevalence of obesity among adults increasing by 1.1% from 2007 to the present. Indeed, since 2009, 33 states reported obesity prevalences of 25% or more with only 1 state reporting prevalence < 20%. There have been multiple approaches for the treatment of obesity, including fad diets, incentive-based exercise programs, and gastric bypass surgery; none of which have been optimal. In a murine model, it was shown that the majority of the intestinal microbiome consists of two bacterial phyla, the Bacteroidetes and the Firmicutes, and that the relative abundance of these two phyla differs among lean and obese mice; the obese mouse had a higher proportion of Firmicutes to Bacteroidetes (50% greater) than the lean mouse. The same results were appreciated in obese humans compared to lean subjects. The postulated explanation for this finding is that Firmicutes produce more complete metabolism of a given energy source than do Bacteroidetes, thus promoting more efficient absorption of calories and subsequent weight gain. Researchers were able to demonstrate that colonizing germ-free mice with the intestinal microbiome from obese mice led to an increased total body fat in the recipient mice despite a lack of change in diet. The converse, that, colonizing germ-free obese mice with the intestinal microbiome of thin mice causing a decreased total body fat in the recipient mice, has not yet been done. Other possible mechanisms by which the intestinal microbiome affects host obesity include induction of low-grade inflammation with lipopolysaccharide, regulation of host genes responsible for energy expenditure and storage, and hormonal communication between the intestinal microbiome and the host. The following review discusses the microbiome-obesity relationship and proposed mechanisms by which the intestinal microbiota is hypothesized to influence weight gain.

and this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23526699

Obesity (Silver Spring). 2013 Dec;21(12):E607-15. doi: 10.1002/oby.20466. Epub 2013 Jun 22.
Human intestinal microbiota composition is associated with local and systemic inflammation in obesity.
Verdam FJ1, Fuentes S, de Jonge C, Zoetendal EG, Erbil R, Greve JW, Buurman WA, de Vos WM, Rensen SS.
Author information

Abstract
OBJECTIVE:
Intestinal microbiota have been suggested to contribute to the development of obesity, but the mechanism remains elusive. The relationship between microbiota composition, intestinal permeability, and inflammation in nonobese and obese subjects was investigated.
DESIGN AND METHODS:
Fecal microbiota composition of 28 subjects (BMI 18.6-60.3 kg m(-2) ) was analyzed by a phylogenetic profiling microarray. Fecal calprotectin and plasma C-reactive protein levels were determined to evaluate intestinal and systemic inflammation. Furthermore, HbA1c , and plasma levels of transaminases and lipids were analyzed. Gastroduodenal, small intestinal, and colonic permeability were assessed by a multisaccharide test.
RESULTS:
Based on microbiota composition, the study population segregated into two clusters with predominantly obese (15/19) or exclusively nonobese (9/9) subjects. Whereas intestinal permeability did not differ between clusters, the obese cluster showed reduced bacterial diversity, a decreased Bacteroidetes/Firmicutes ratio, and an increased abundance of potential proinflammatory Proteobacteria. Interestingly, fecal calprotectin was only detectable in subjects within the obese microbiota cluster (n = 8/19, P = 0.02). Plasma C-reactive protein was also increased in these subjects (P = 0.0005), and correlated with the Bacteroidetes/Firmicutes ratio (rs = -0.41, P = 0.03).
CONCLUSIONS:
Intestinal microbiota alterations in obese subjects are associated with local and systemic inflammation, suggesting that the obesity-related microbiota composition has a proinflammatory effect.
Copyright © 2013 The Obesity Society.

Interesting stuff, Mars! Inflammation was a huge problem overall when I ate whatever. And chronic GI issues.

Me too, Zoe. The first thing I noticed, within a couple of weks of cleaning up my diet, was that my knees stopped hurting, even before a lot of the weight was gone. Wouldn't it be something if all if took was some yogurt or sauerkraut to dampen the cravings?

LOL! Magic pill...in a reuben sandwich?

You might be onto something, Zoe....The Reuben Sandwich Diet. I'd volunteer to be the first guinea pig, lol!

Hello fellow food addicts,

I hope you're all doing well. Things have continued to be rough for me with my son....some really horrible things....but I'm still hanging on and not letting it all get the best of me.

My weight hasn't really gone down but it hasn't gone up either (it has, here and there for a few days, but I've been able to get back on track more times than not). I sure wish I could get to goal already but at the same time, I'm incredibly proud of myself for being where I'm at, considering the many challenges in my life.

I'm cutting back on the second medication the dr. Rx'd for my anxiety. I ended up with terrible insomnia again and I figured that I was just replacing anxiety with insomnia and so I might as well have a problem without the meds. I'm going to tackle the anxiety with natural methods. I've just never tolerated medication well...which is why I still have daily migraines...it's not cuz I think they're any fun. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say hi to my addicted friends and to send you all great big bear hugs. I really appreciate the support here and I'm looking forward to hearing about how you guys are all doing.

Luckymommy - Oh, I'm so sorry to read about the issues with your son -- honey that just has to be so, so rough. Sending you healing thoughts and strength and hugs, all that I can spare!

I think you are smart to drop the anxiety meds if they cause major insomnia. Of course, I'm biased right now as the chronic insomnia I had torched my immune system, but man, with everything you've got going on, you NEED your sleep, your body needs that time to heal and rest. Hopefully the natural alternatives will do something to help.

Sending big bear hugs back to you!

Wow, Mrs Snark! You're back! I missed you and I found out on your blog that you've been having a rough time, to say the least!

Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate all the strength and hugs!

I finally hit the high end of my goal a few days ago but today, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. so I'm eating more than I should...but still within reason...although the day's not over yet! ;)

Again, glad you're back and I hope that means that you've recovered.

How is everyone doing?

I made it through my birthday weekend with a few treats but without going over board. It probably helps me that I haven't been able to drink any cocktails in months and months now (migraine trigger and now also conflicts with treatment medications), I have a much more level head during celebrations if I don't have a buzz. How's that for making lemonade from lemons! ;)

Luckymommy -- congratulations on making it into your goal range, your perseverance is inspiring! How is it going? I saw your post in the maintenance forum, have you firmed up your strategy for going forward?

I haven't checked in here in awhile. Congrats, Luckymom on hitting goal range! How exciting! I hope things are going okay with your son and your insomnia/anxiety issues.

Snark, I'm sorry about your migrains. That sounds so awful! Happy birthday and a virtual "cheers" to you.

I've been trying to keep my calories lower, around 1200 to finally get my weight moving down again and it seems to be working. Having food prepped separate from the family has worked beautifully and I don't have any issues with impulsive eating or overeating. Win!

Mars, I hope you're still around and doing well.

It's nice to hear from you guys! I appreciate the congrats but things have been horrible for me since Friday. I went to Las Vegas (my husband loves to go there) and that place is just no good for me food wise. I ended up binging almost the entire time. I got home yesterday afternoon and I still couldn't stop the binging. I just kept stuffing and stuffing myself to the point where I felt truly ill and then I couldn't sleep much at all. I woke up with a food hang over and now I"m going to try to get back on track. If I had to guess, I probably gained 3 to 5 real pounds. We'll see. I won't weigh myself for at least 4 days but it would be best if I don't weigh in for longer.

I'm so disappointed in myself, but there's no point in worrying about the past. I'm going to make this a learning experience. I think I need to just not go to Las Vegas anymore. Also, my birthday is coming up next month and already, my friends are trying to make plans to celebrate my existence. ;) While this is very kind of them, last November is when I was thin and ended up regaining everything because of all the celebrations (it's mostly because I"m an addict, but you know what I mean). I have asked them to please not take me out for meals...that coffee is great or a walk, but they're insisting.

First, I just need to make it through today. My sleep is not going any better, btw but my anxiety has improved a great deal. I think what helped me with the anxiety is doing Pilates. I know it's weird, but somehow it has been a miracle for me.

Oh man, I'm sorry your eating took a detour. What do you do to reel it back in? That's my big worry because as much as I want this to be my last weightloss journey and stop the yoyo, I know there is some kind of mental block or denial that can take over. Ideally, we'd still be able to navigate things like Vegas and celebrations but I'm not sure how. Tracking in my Lose It app on the phone before I eat has helped.

Hang in there luckymommy! Sending you positive vibes!

Thanks CoolMom and Mrs Snark. I finally managed to eat "normally" on Wednesday. I was doing well for a few days and then yesterday, I over ate again. I didn't binge, but I was soooo close to it. I just felt super tired and yucky and just blah. Also, I made a huge mistake: I changed my breakfast. I normally have 1/3 cup of oatmeal (it has other things in it like pumpkin seeds and amaranth, etc.) but I had fruit. My husband is trying a new diet called Fit For Life and a friend of mine told me about it (well, it's actually very old, but it's new to us) and my friend (who is already very thin) lost 4 lbs. in a week and she said she has never felt better. I shouldn't have been lured into this but I was and this morning, I've decided to go back to what I know works for me.

That's the key for me, I think. I just have to eat very similar foods every day. Once i stray from what works for me, I turn into a crazed lunatic who feels lost and doesn't know what to do.

I still haven't weighed myself since Vegas. I want to have a full week of on track eating before I assess the damage.

I also must confess that I"m terrified of the next few months. My birthday is coming in a few weeks (did I already mention this? I have memory issues). Last year, when I had my birthday, I weighed 160 lbs.. By the time April came around, I was around 193 lbs. It started with the bday, and everyone taking me out for lunches to celebrate and even though I wouldn't order cake, they would bring it to the lunch and I'd feel obligated to eat it. :( I would then binge and binge and my wacky mind would tell me that it's all ok, I'll get back to it the next day...but Thanksgiving came around and then Hannukah and Xmas (I don't celebrate it but I sure manage to get into the spirit, hahaha). By the end of December, I was just lost and out of control, depressed and hopeless. In April I joined OA and that turned things around. I need to just follow what I know and not get lazy in my program (which is what I"ve been doing).

Sorry for this long rant....I appreciate all your support and hope it will help others deal with their own struggles. I thank you guys for being here and wish you continued success. :)

How do I rein it in?

I wish there was an easy answer, luckmommy.

I feel it is unfair for people to pressure you into eating, of course, and if it were me and I were feeling on the edge I would avoid those meals at all costs, frankly. Whatever it takes, you have a right to put yourself first. Whether that is total abstinence or some other plan of YOUR choosing, you deserve to put yourself first in this regard.

The holidays are tough. We are already surrounded by a hyper-crazy food environment 24/7, and then the holidays come and become the ultimate enablers to overindulge. It's crazy, and very hard.

I wish for you to be able to take care of yourself the way you need to without other people pressuring you to do something different!

Thanks so much Mrs Snark. I appreciate your wisdom and empathy. Based on my prior experience, I'm letting everyone know that I'm not eating sugar and flour. That way, if they do bring something, I'll know that they really don't get it or don't care. Either way, I"ll do my best to avoid it at all costs or else the ultimate cost will be my health and sanity.

I was wondering...do you guys have any issues with the weather getting colder? I feel like that could have had an impact on my weight gain in the past. I have a very difficult time keeping my body warm even when i'ts in thigh 50's! My hands are feet are always very cold and sometimes, they get tingly and numb if I"m not completely vigilant. I also wonder if it's less sunshine. Today, it has been overcast and chilly and I've struggled with feeling a bit down. Just wondering if I'm the only one or if this is more common.

I'm glad you have a plan and I hope everyone will respect your wishes!

Regarding the weather: Mostly I prefer the cooler weather, but then, I'm in Florida, so the winter months are hardly brutal and our summers can be very, very uncomfortable. And it is very sunny during the winter here so I don't get the seasonal disorder.

Physically, I have discomfort even in Florida with cold hands. When I was heavier it was never a problem. But now, my nail beds will turn blue and my hands will hurt quite a bit (I have arthritis in them, though) when it is cool out unless I make special efforts to keep warm. Not a fan.

I do know several people who have the SAD, and they say those special lamps are really helpful in helping their moods through the winter...

Thanks Mrs Snark. I woke up this morning at 3 am with a massive migraine. I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I know this is temporary. On Sunday, I binged yet again. :( What is going with me? I don't know. The weekends are usually the toughest. I think I need to have more of a routine, the way I do during the week. I ate very healthy yesterday and that makes me feel a lot better. I'm determined to learn from my mistakes. I'm going to do my best to stay on track despite the sleep deprivation and migraine pain.

You poor thing! Hang in there, I hope you get some relief and some sleep!

I read through most of the posts in this thread and I must say I am very impressed with yall. Very chatty yet focused on the things that need addressed in order to deal with the things that affect food addiction. I never considered myself to be a food addict however I find myself relating WAY more than I wanna on the food addiction issues.

I would like to join in some here.

Mrs. Snark, wondered what happened to you,:shrug: where you were, how you were doing. Gosh.... Do I sound like maybe perhaps I just may have missed ya a little ??

Nawwwwwwwwwww ....

Well, maybe ;)


I read back on I think it was page 5 of this thread where it was talking about migraines and caffeine or red wine triggering the migraines on your part.

Some people are allergic to red wine. I very often drank a fifth or more of Wild Turkey per night, or something as powerful and chased it with a 12 pack or more of beer:sp:. I seldom had much of a hangover at all. However, so much as half a cup of red wine gave me hellasias headaches/hang overs. If I got them often I would be happy to call them migraines.

Red wine causes a type of severe allergic/poison reaction for some of us and I think from what you said you are also. I am another who is severely allergic to it.

Anyway, being as I sorta paused my drinking for a while.... (21 years) I do not have that problem anymore:cp:. The last time I drank some red wine was 1/2 cup when I had no other alcohol in me just to see it's effects on me:yikes:. It was HORRIBLE the next day :headache::!! Though I very seldom drank red wine at that time, that ended that stuff for me :nono:.


I enjoyed your posts as always.... Good to see ya :)

B F R

Welcome BFR! I truly believe some people are food addicts but I also think it has its grip on us in varying levels...so some more intense than others. Also, the levels can vary within each person. I've found that as I get older, my problems seems to be worse, although it could just be my bad memory. ;)

Regarding red wine...I can't drink it because as much as I love how it feels during, it makes my migraines worse, so it's not worth it at all. I've heard people say that wine without sulfites can make a difference, and while that might be true, I don't want to take a chance and also, I think alcohol is dehydrating, so I'll just pass. :)

Update: this time, I woke up at 2 a.m. after only sleeping for 3 measly hours. I had a rough day with the migraine all day yesterday and I had to have a root canal, which was insane! I didn't cancel because I didn't want them to charge me for cancelling on short notice. I used my OA principles of living in a state of acceptance and that seemed to help a little. What also helped was taking 3 liquid Advils.

Thanks everyone. Keep posting please. I don't want this to be mostly me, complaining about my insanity here. ;) I'm actually overall quite happy, despite the difficulties in my life. I'm so grateful that I ate on track yesterday too. I'm taking it one day at a time and hope that today will be a good day as well in terms of eating. I really believe that once I'm on track for a few weeks, the post-Vegas debacle will be just a bad memory (which I won't let myself forget).

Hugs ladies!

Welcome BFR! On the drinking: I surely do miss having cocktails on the weekend, but they turned into major triggers for my migraines (which had become out of control, almost daily) -- and it was all alcohol, not just red wine. Very sad for me. Booze isn't my only trigger unfortunately, not even the worse one by far since it it easy to avoid. But I'm still not thrilled with having to give it up. But hey -- first world problem, right?

I'm doing much better now that I've gotten medications that seem to be working for me and made some other changes, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to rock the boat.

I was smart over Halloween and didn't buy any of the candy that I can eat and that I love. I had just enjoyed special treats for my birthday, so it was really too soon to be all indulgey again.

I'm trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of the holidays and all the parties and the general end-of-the-year madness. I've gotten so much better about celebrating without food (and actually having fun!), but when Mr. Snark has lots of vacation time everything changes and there will suddenly be alot more tempting junky stuff around and alot more opportunity to eat it, too.

Takes more focus. And often it truly is easier to eat none of something, than it is to try and eat a "reasonable" amount.

Luckymommy -- I need to look up the OA principle of living in a state of acceptance, that sounds intriguing.

Hugs to you ladies and gentlemen!

Let the social anxiety over holiday parties begin. Blerg. Tis the season, ho ho ho.

This time of year always terrifies me and I usually come out of it a lot heavier. I'm determined not to let that happen this time. Who's with me?

I'm with you.

I realize that at parties, part of my urge to eat has to do with having something to direct my attention to that isn't people and the small talk they require. And then if I am forced to make small talk we can talk about the food on my plate. Baaaaaah.

I am mentally gearing up for the big party we are throwing next month with close to 100 people (our annual Christmas boat parade party). It is a special kind of torture when the party you are most dreading is your very own party, lol.

Luckymommy, I sympathize with you. Your friends should respect your wishes and avoid food related celebrations. If you give in and go along with them, you are telling them that you didn't really mean it when you said you didn't want to go to eat. If they go ahead and plan it, tell them you won't be there. Before retirement I worked at a place where every occasion was celebrated by everyone bringing in a covered dish and having a big luncheon. Birthdays, anniversaries, babies, holidays etc. When I retired I made an announcement that I didn't want a party, and anyone who is truly my friend will respect my wishes. There was no party. No one wanted to be the one who was truly not my friend. They were very disappointed that they didn't get to have a party, but I told them to have it on Monday, after I'm gone. LOL

We have become a society that celebrates with food. Unfortunately, not all of us can control their consumption. If I want to be honest with myself, I would like to be able to eat whenever and whatever I want all day long. I love food, and love to eat. My body does not feel "satisfaction" until I am totally stuffed and uncomfortable. I have to be diligent every day to avoid doing that and I've accepted that it will be that way for the rest of my life.

Wannabehealthy, I'm amazed at your ability to stay strong and let everyone know exactly what you need to stay on track. I'm working on it. ;) I'm not going to let anyone guilt me into eating sugar or flour. As far as the holidays, it's mostly the fact that I have kids, so it's not just about what I need. I don't think I can stop having Thanksgiving just because I have an issue with it (not saying that's what you do)...i just have to learn to stay focused and only eat the foods I can have in reasonable amounts. As far as my bday goes, I've consolidated it into a lunch for all my friends and I chose a restaurant where I can make good choices. If anyone brings desert, I will just tell them to enjoy it without me. That's the plan and I'll see how it goes.

Thanks for your support! :hug:

Hi fellow food addicts. I just wanted to ask you guys if you're ever just tired of the struggle? I am. Don't get me wrong...it's absolutely worth it and I'm so much happier when I'm working at it and not giving up. However, I'm just tired of it. Like right now, I'm waiting for my lunch. I know I will have it in about 50 minutes and that's exciting but I can hardly wait. What I would like is to be able to just go and eat as much as I want and not to have to worry about what I eat and when but I can't because if I eat too early, that will seriously mess me up. I will start to feel off track and it might just lead to a binge and that will lead me to be very unhappy. I would love to just go and get whatever I want from the fridge, make a plate of food and just have it be simple. I guess sometimes it's just hard to have to deal with this eating disorder and I would really like to not have it.

I'm very fascinated by watching normal people eat. I'll see them order something at a restaurant and it's a full on meal and they'll either leave a lot of it or they'll eat it all and I'm left wondering what they'll do the rest of the day. Will they eat a lot less because they're just so full? Or will they still have large sized meals and not let it phase them at all? They make it look so easy.

I guess for me that's how it is with alcohol. I'm not tempted by it in the least.

I don't really know what I"m trying to say. Can anyone relate to the frustration of how much of a struggle this is and that on some days we can be fighters but then on other days, even though we're putting up a fight, it's just utterly exhausting?

I'm sending you guys hugs....for all of you out there who are struggling with me with this issue of food addiction. Thanks so much for listening.

I understand completely. That's exactly it...with alcohol, I don't have to even think about it or worry about pacing myself. Food is not on autopilot like it is for others. I have to plan ahead, make a game plan for outings, keep things seperate in the fridge that are safe for me. It is definitely tiring.

However, keeping foods prepared weekly for myself has made it a lot less tiring. If the kids are having something not on my own plan, I don't have to sit with that feeling of weakness for more than a second because I can quickly grab my foods out of the fridge.

My dad is one of those "normal" people. We had my parents over this weekend for a BBQ. He had a hot dog on a bun, a grilled chicken breast on a bun with mayo, and 3 big pieces of cake. A handful of chips and dip. Diet coke.

He is pretty significantly underweight and a serious runner (last weekend he won his age group at a 15k, the weekend before that he won his age group at a 5k -- I'm so jealous). He's 70. He seems to keep his body weight effortlessly low. Obviously he runs alot (he also lifts weights at the gym 3 times a week), but still. He doesn't count anything or plan his meals or worry about food in any way. He seemingly eats what he wants, however much he wants. He has a big sweet tooth. I sent them home with more cake, which he ate with ice cream that night.

I watch him and think HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW?!?!?!?!

Yes, I get tired of feeling at a disadvantage when it comes to my food issues. I will say that these days there seems to be more people with their own food issues than without any. My mother, my husband, and me -- we all now struggle with food in various ways and to various degrees -- so only 1 person at the table this weekend would have what I consider a "normal" relationship with foods.

I usually use humor to fight these feelings, and then I compare myself to people with even bigger problems to get myself out of a funk if I find myself wallowing too much. A little wallowing is fine, too much and it is detrimental for my overall well-being and only makes things harder. I've been known to wallow my way right up the scale, which didn't help!

Thanks ladies. I was just having one of those moments. I definitely don't like to wallow. It's not useful and can be a very slippery slope.

What I should have done is called or texted my Sponsor. She would have undoubtedly told me to read the paragraph on acceptance from the Big Book.

Here it is, if anyone is curious (btw, you don't have to see God in a religious sense. You can see it as anything greater than yourself. Some people think of Higher Power as the OA program itself, or reality or whatever works for them):

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here. Obviously, the word alcoholism would be replaced by compulsive overeating or whatever would apply to the person reading it.

At some point in my past, someone shared a modified serenity prayer which she termed a "serenity meditation" that I like very much:

"Through my efforts, I gain the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Definitely strikes a chord!

That's really great, Mrs Snark...I like that modified serenity prayer!

I actually just bought a necklace that says: Serenity, Courage, Wisdom...I got one for myself and one for my Sponsor. :)

Hi everyone,
I am a compulsive eater/mindless eater/emotional eater and occasional binger. I have never sought help really because I am just at the high end of my normal weight range, so I never thought I belonged. To top things off, I had anorexia once upon a time, so my psychiatrist is so focused on how far I've come from that, that she doesn't see how messed up my eating is in the opposite direction. I think part of it even came from ED recovery, as I did it much on my own, and I also rebelled against that part of me; so I will eat whatever I want whenever I want, and thought that is great progress. Now it is a problem. My main problem is snacking when I get tired of doing school work and that can be 20 times a night.

I had a success, Grabbed some chocolate and almonds. Stopped eating because i was not really hungry and finding it too sweet!

Welcome, AmethystJean! I'm glad you no longer struggle with anorexia. I'll be honest and say that I had a short time when I was headed toward anorexia. I was incredibly thin and passing out, worrying my parents as well as myself. Luckily, it never became tragic, but I didn't think I would ever struggle with yet another eating disorder. It can happen and in OA, there are people who I've met that have had a similar experience, so you're not alone.

I think it's important (if you don't mind me saying) that your psychiatrist know that just because you're not anorexic, doesn't mean you don't have a problem that needs to be addressed.

With regards to snacking at night and when bored or studying, I can relate! I had that issue when I was a student. Try to replace this with another action. Maybe you can drink some tea or chew gum. Perhaps go for a walk, or turn on some music and dance, to relieve some stress.

I'm glad you were able to stop eating the chocolate and almonds. I've done a lot of binging on chocolate almonds. I used to buy them "for the kids," but I would eat them all the time and until I felt sick. I'd stick them in my pockets and shove them in my mouth when no one was looking.

I've heard someone on this site say the following quote which sometimes helps me: If food is not the problem, then food is not the solution.

Eating to numb myself from feelings or to celebrate or for no reason at all always leads to regret. Always.

Have you thought about planning your meals and snacks in advance? I have found that writing it out the night before is helpful and gives me a reasonable plan that I can follow. Also, snacks are a disaster for me so I limit myself to one optional snack a day. It's not an easy adjustment, but it can be done and could help you change some of these behaviors.

Again, welcome! Thanks for posting and I hope you find us to be helpful.

True, very true. I struggled for 15 years, and even then I was a compulsive eater and then went back to anorexia to compensate. I have been recovered from the restricting for 6 years, but obviously I have not dealt with all the issues.

I have been trying to do other things that need to get done, or do some jumping jacks or other exercise to energize. I am going to try more water, tea and gum too.

I like it. I will use it

Planning would help, but I also find I like to eat things other than what I plan, so I haven't done much. I think if I plan my meals but can eat them whenever, it's better for me. For example, if I took my breakfast, snack and lunch to work then I can eat it as I like, but still be on track.

I will try planning more.

Thanks for the welcome.

Welcome AmeythstJ!