Hello all,

I'm new to this thread. I joined 3FC on Oct. 30 and have lost 4 lbs. with exercising 4 - 5 times a week and eating healthy.

I definitely believe I am addicted to processed and refined sugars like cookies, cakes, pies, and ice cream, so I am avoiding them. In fact, when I first joined the day before Halloween, I binged on Halloween candy, and then on Saturday and Sunday I binged on homemade cookies made with white flour and white sugar!

I am happy to announce I have not had any of those items since Nov. 2! I am starting to lose my craving and feeling great. I do use stevia most of the time, but I still use vanilla syrup in my tea lattes some times. That doesn't seem to trigger me. I also had a Dr. Pepper on Sunday and wasn't triggered by that either. I rarely drink soda anyway. I do eat fruits, such as apples, bananas, and grapefruits and don't seem to get triggered from those either.

I believe I will be okay tomorrow, Thanksgiving, because I never cared too much for pumpkin pie anyway!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Hey lucky, good job. Just eating normally was pretty much my first goal. I guess I kind of did that today. I was very disappointed in myself for having cake, but unlike the last treat I had, I found it disgusting. I didn't go back and stuff my face with more when people weren't looking. I didn't have hot chocolate and muffins and donuts at the coffee shop, just coffee. I call that a success from within a failure.

Hi AshiRose. Good job on staying away from those things since Nov 2. I'm on day 1 again tomorrow, but at least it is still 5 days without a binge.

AshliRose, welcome! You've done something amazing: you've identified your triggers. Just keep in mind that over time, your list of triggers can change. There have been times when I was ok with something and then I wasn't. I still think I'm refusing to be honest with myself about a few things that I just don't want to give up. They don't contain flour or sugar but I feel like they somehow make crave more food. Anyway, I'm so glad to have you join us and hope you'll share your experiences with us. Way to go on the 4 lbs. lost, btw! Woohoo!!!

AmethystJean, I appreciate your support. The restrictor in me feels guilty about eating like a normal person, especially after I've been so off track. However, I do recognize that it's a way to slow down and get back on track and even practice eating at maintenance, which I hope to do one day!

So I got on the scale and I was preparing myself for a 20 pound gain. I really can't tell what I look like in the mirror. I was actually relieved to have gained 10 lbs. instead. I ate very well yesterday (at deficit) and this morning, I was down a little over 2 pounds. I'm going to change my ticker, be honest with myself and focus on the progress. If I can just stay on track I will consider this a blip in the road and a major victory for reigning it in before I put all my weight back on! ;)

Thanks so much for listening. Btw, I've upped my involvement with OA. I'm doing reading and writing and am contacting other members more, as well as my sponsor. I'm going to a meeting this morning and I'm very happy with myself.

Ok, last thing I want to say is that I slept 6 hours again and that is really like a miracle for me since i usually get 3 or 4. The only difference is that I"m taking this Indian herb called Ashwaganda, which I mentioned to you guys before. It helps with anxiety and for me, with sleep. I take one after breakfast and one after dinner. I'll keep you posted! :)

Hugs to all of you and wishing you a wonderful Saturday!

Welcome AshliRose! Like you, I am triggered by alot of processed sugary things as well, but not by fruit at all. Which I consider lucky. We all have to find our specific quirks and work within our own limitations. You're doing great!

Lucky -- when you say "I still think I'm refusing to be honest with myself about a few things that I just don't want to give up," I hear Fritos being whispered softly into my ears. Of course I will continue to be in denial about that and shush that whisper, lol. So I know exactly what you mean!

Congratulations on working your program and feeling back on the right track! So much of this stuff is mental: how we think about things, how we approach them, how we work through them, how we process, how we continue on. All so key. It sounds like you've found your groove!

Ame -- Great job being very moderate. I think what you did sounds very normal. You tried something, it wasn't good. It didn't trigger a bunch of secret eating! That's a WIN!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! My Thanksgiving was fine. I still don't have a hungry, so there was no problems for me and I'm just putting along, trying to get used to all the changes that are happening in our lives. Today is "dog butt shaving day". Something to look forward to, lol. :)

Lucky, congrats on your deficit and 2 lbs. Keep it up. Just keep going moderately along, because extremes either way will just make us binge in the end. Good choice getting further involved in OA. It's kind of like me hopping on the boards here when I need a break or want to eat and really shouldn't.

Snark, I wish I didn't have hunger but at the same time I know that's not true. It took a lot of work for me to get in touch with my body hunger after my ED so I don't want to lose that. I just need to keep in touch with "full"!

Had a very large breakfast, which is disappointing since I've been eating so little the last 2 days and I am going to my friends for a Mexican fiesta today, so I'm a little worried about tonight's calories. I vow not to eat any more until then, and will taste everything I want to but not feel obligated to keep eating because something tastes good. I will try to keep on track with my eating plan, but I'm pretty sure I will be having carbs which are my lunch and not dinner plan.

Food does not have a hold on me! I basically didn't eat today even when my prof/school work had me at a breaking point (I literally cried) and I wanted to buy a pizza and eat the whole thing, but I went to my brothers and saw my baby nephew instead.

I ate a lot yesterday at the Mexican Fiesta, including wine. Probably 1500+ cals but I still didn't gain today and actually after going back to bed for 4 hours and reweighing myself when I got up and had more time to not eat/digest/bloat to go down I had even lost .6 Whoohoo.

Ame -- I hope you ate something, honey (slipping into little, old southern lady mode), you gotta have at least a little somethin-somethin' in your belly!

I'm just sort of trucking along, making myself eat things to, you know, stay alive. I think my migraine meds might be messing with me as well as the stress I'm under. I keep forgetting that Topamax (still fairly new to me) can affect your appetite, and it might explain why so many foods just taste MEH and are therefore unappealing.

People talk about food becoming repulsive, and while I wouldn't go that far, I would say that food just has no sparkle or allure and I don't seem to feel hunger.

So that's what's going on here.

Hugs to all!

Snark,
Never found topamax to curb my appetite or make things taste blah but I've been on it so long. Food definitely tastes good, even "sparkles" so I imagine it's something you might get back.
I did eat 400 cals yesterday. Yeah not a lot - and I'm not the type to not eat when I'm stressed, the opposite usually. I was just so stressed I was nauseous. And making up a bit for the day before.

Today I made lasagna. Ate too much of that, just because it tastes good. I guess some old habits die hard.

I've taken Topomax for migraines. Not only did it not help at all with the migraines, it didn't curb my appetite. I must be the only person to ever gain weight on that medicine. ;) Oh, and did I mention that it made me incredibly depressed? I couldn't speak without bursting into tears. Yeah, it wasn't a pretty sight.

Yesterday I ate like a normal person, but a bit less. ;) Yay! Woke up very early, sleep deprived and with a bad migraine. :( Boo! Am determined to not feel sorry for myself today. I'll keep on trucking. I put on a very cute dress, tights, high boots and am having a good hair day, so it can't be that bad. ;)

Today I have a food migraine. Lasagna last night, so either it was the sugar content or the rice (pasta) or the dairy. On the plus side after bingeing on lasagna I'm only back to 134 and I imagine some of that is bloat/the fact that it still feels like it is sitting as a rock in my belly. Why do I break my vegan diet? I do suspect I have a prob with rice, but I'm not giving it up just less.

Oh, a good hair day, Lucky, those are the BEST! The whole world looks better when the hair is good! Your whole outfit sounds stylin'! I hope the migraine won't be too disruptive to your day!

I'm sorry about the food migraine, Ame. I hope it will subside quickly! I bet the lasagna was delicious.

Maybe it is stress plus the Topamax that is doing me in, though this does seem to be a really common side effect of the drug, so much so that people try taking it for weight loss I guess.

I HAVE to get my xmas shopping done, plus my xmas cards, and I'm just not feeling it. Ho ho ho. My husband wants a deep fat fryer (gah!), anybody have one and have a recommendation?

Snark - What about the oil free or low oil version of a deep fat fryer?
It is a common side effect, I just think it goes away with time. Although other than the headaches, I honestly am afraid to get off the med because of weight gain!
Finally headache is starting to go away. Today didn't help. Travel all day, so I don't drink because I have 2 - 2 hour bus rides with no access to rest room on the coach. ugh.

I am once again master of my stomach and mind today. Made it to the gym (zumba, 690 cals) and didn't really eat. I even took food with me on my travels and didn't want it. I did eat breakfast and a snack after the gym. I am definitely way under on the cal front and happy. Tomorrow I expect it to skyrocket as I have means to reheat food at work...lasagna (at least i can only eat what i have with me).

I may walk to my friend's after work to drop off her food. That's an hour each way. I'd say that's a good work out for the day...although comparatively cuts into my schoolwork time!

Ame -- You know that song, "It All About Da Oil, 'Bout Da Oil, No Trouble..." yeah, it's like that. (I might be remembering the lyrics wrong). I told him this morning I couldn't pick one out for him on amazon (I was overwhelmed with choices) and he is going to pick it out. I don't fry anything (he wants to use it mostly for seafood,) so he needs to check it out!

Good job being the Master of Your Domain! :)

How is everyone else doing?!?

*** Edited later because many words were missing and it didn't make any sense (pre-coffee!)

Can I join in?

Hi Terra, Welcome!

Snark, I hope your husband can get on board the low oil fryer. If they work like they say they do, I don't see why not!

Pretty good day yesterday. I didn't eat the best but I was under calorie and killed it at the gym.
I was busy on the run and hand a dentist appointment so I didn't want to eat before or after it. I had a protein smoothie for breakfast and then a late afternoon snack of carrots and hummus. Lots of carrots and hummus lol Not so good on my tender gums after the dentist but so good. *little bites* Was out again and missed dinner. Stopped at the coffee shop between errands and had a coffee and gluten free vegan pumpkin loaf. It could have been almost 2 pieces. I think that is what spurred me on to the gym even though I was late for class. Then I did, not only zumba, but a new bootcamp class. OMG that was killer. Came in at a deficit of 1400 cals even with the pumpkin loaf! Holy crow. The scale showed it this morning at 103.6. whoohoo.

Ame -- Kudos to you for the hard-core working out -- girl, you're a beast!

Terra -- Welcome!

Thanks Snark.
I did not eat so well today. Many liquid calories. I forgot my water bottle and drank juice at work instead. Ate cheezies. Coffee/hot chocolate on the way home. Muffins (oh those muffins again! but what's a girl to do with 3 bunches of bananas!)
1957 but at least I worked off 744

Mrs Snark ~ Thanks for the welcome

Here's my story:

At my highest I was 310, Since I started my weight loss journey for the

2nd time my lowest was 281, Last time I weighed myself I

was 290. At my last doctor's appointment my doctor said Im very close

to getting diabetes and I dont want to get diabetes so Im trying to do

everything I can to keep that from happening. I stayed at 120 although

high school cause of physical education class, I wish you could have

physical education class all through life. I started gaining weight after

high school cause I didnt have physical education class anymore and I

didnt grow up doing sports so I couldnt fall back on sports to stay fit

after high school so I started gaining weight, I graduated high school in

May of 03 and ever since then my weight has gone up but Im

determined to not only get into the 270's but to get my weight under

control once and for all. Thanks for taking the time to read about my

Weight Loss Journey. By the way by the end of my weight loss journey I

want to be at 150 pounds.

Hey Terra, It sounds like you really know where you are going, understand what the obstacles in your path are, and are determined to overcome them! Yay! Not wanting to get diabetes is an EXCELLENT reason to want to change your eating and exercise patterns for the better! You just keep on kicking butt and I know you will reach your 150 goal, you can do it!

Well I fell apart on Saturday. Made the mistake of thinking I was going to fast Saturday but I had a party. So I didn't eat all day and was very hungry and drinking and the only thing I could eat was what I brought (vegan cheese) and I ended up eating everything and pretending like it might not hurt me this time. Not only did it hurt (it still hurts. I can't even touch my abdomen), I ate way too much. I couldn't stop once I started.

Fasted yesterday.

131.4 today. So I negated some of the damage with that fast.

Realized I've had another victory though - last time I made muffins they were gone in just over a day. I've had them since Friday and gave some away and still probably could go three days, so I think I'll get them in the freezer. Surprising actually that gf even lasts 4 days but it must be all the bananas

<<<<Hugs>>> Ame

I can't fast after a binge, it only ever gets me deeper in a hole. I'm glad you were able to right your ship though!

Good job making the muffins last and last!

Hey nice new pic Snark! I really need to get one up.

And I binged on cookies today and now I feel like I am in a food coma. Foggy. Chest pain. Stomach pain. Ugh. Have eaten my days calories by lunch. This stuff really is addictive because when it was out of my system I was not having problems.

And I was a new low of 130 today. Why would I want to ruin it? But I did. Ugh

Hope you're feeling better Ame!

How is everyone else doing?

Ten days until Christmas, and then this year is winding down! I can't believe it is going to be 2015. Where is my hover craft? Where is my vacation home under the sea? All of these things were promised to me by Disney's Carousel of Progress when I was growing up. I want them now.

Well the party was terrible food wise and I'm dealing with the pain of that too. On a very high dose of probiotics to try to balance things.
Ate cheezies today and I feel really bad about it because my plan was to be strict until Christmas.
On we go. 4 lbs to get back to my low ugh.

We are all wery, wery qwiet. Are we hunting wascally wabbits?

Sending out strength and hugs to thems that need it: anybody who may be lurking here, but not posting, and anyone being sucked under by the tidal wave of holiday food and pressure!

well my weight loss has stalled for a few months due to inconsistency. these past few weeks have been really good, eating normally, not really restricting but the weight is still hardly moving and its pissing me off. i have even started swimming. not for weight loss but FFS that should be helping considering I was totally sedentary before.. im thinking back to when I was my lowest adult weight about 10 years ago at 170 pounds. that was months of eating salads, cabbage soups and tiny portions. and 170 was the result. it feels like if I ever get to 170 again it will feel like 125 for how difficult that seems to reach right now. Anyways this post is really because I just had a 2400 calorie drive thru binge and feel sick. despite the sick feeling I grabbed a package of cookies too at the drug store to eat for later. they were 1.99 from 4.99 so obviously I just had to buy them... this is first binge in a while, but the 3rd day of sloppy eating..ate a whole tub of ice cream within 2 days prior to today. so I want to right the ship AGAIN. I can't focus on weight, but I have it to lose. I don't want to eat less but I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight but more than anything I want to get this eating under control. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

you know what, I really have to stop being so damn negative:carrot:
at this time last year I weighed 291 pounds, could hardly move without getting winded and was starting to have trouble wiping myself in the bathroom:o
now I am swimming laps in a pool enjoying it.
this binge is over, next day is a new day I will slip and fall but there has been great progress that I am thankful for.

well today was no better. the binge continues. 2 fast food joints and on my way to eating another tub of ice cream. im starting to feel out of control again like Ill never want any of my healthy meals again. i think this is comfort eating because I am so stuffed but still eating. maybe the holidays are making me more depressed than usual(this has been a really bad year for me) the swimming is not even helping, I left the pool tonight and started sobbing in my car...i should probably be posting on a mental health forum but regardless of what darkness I am going through food can not fill this void and will not give me comfort just a really stuffed Im- about- to burst feeling. too bad Im not able to make myself vomit because I feel so sick.

Gaaah, I'm so sorry davina.

<<<<<hugs>>>>>

I wish I had the answers to how to get you to break the cycle, it seems to be unique for each of us, I just know that the binge eating doesn't solve the problems that are making you sad, it only adds to them. It is worth it to keep trying to break the cycle, so you can heal! Sending you strength and love.

thanks mrs snark. Hugs to you too.
this morning has started out horribly, already a huge binge. I don't know how I went off track so quickly and hard. Might be a good time to visit OA again not sure.

Nice reframe on that one post davina. Keep trying to do that. I know the mindset change is the hardest part.

I've been off the wagon too probably why I haven't checked in.

Not a great and not a totally terrible Christmas dinner. I didn't eat a lot of dinner but it wasn't vegan and I always feel like I have to eat it anyway. My aunt even made a dish that I supposedly love but it is full of cream and cheese and wheat, all things that I can't or don't eat.

I actually did eat those things though. ugh

Back at it tomorrow. Clean eating January here I come (starting now).

Kept under cals even though I ate chocolate. Probably more chocolate than I should have but I didn't eat the box or allow it to turn into an all night eat fest.

Very depressed over my mark. 62.5 on my final paper for a final mark of 76 something. I did have an A+ GPA until now.

Ame -- I'm sorry about the disappointing finish on your paper, I hate when that happens, hang in there!

i don't know what's happened but it feels unstoppable at this point. all of a sudden with the bingeing again..I had 2 fast food combos in a row today, 1 drive thru to the next.. and now im just looking for more food to eat for dinner.I cant even imagine eating how I was just 2 weeks ago anymore, 3 proper meals a day...what is a good first step do you guys think?
because I can't seem to stop. Ive had intermittent binges over the months but have managed to eventually go back on track, this time feels different like my old mentality came back and can't stop eating.

I know what you mean davina. It is so easy to go from normal eating back to emotional eating, bingeing or whatever.

Hi davina, I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. This might sound cliche, but when I feel in the grip of old eating habits, I try not to directly fight it--usually makes me want to eat more, and get more frustrated with myself. Instead I try to ride it out & be curious about what I'm trying to take care of by eating. And most of all, I avoid making any sort of 'tomorrow I'll really hit the diet' thinking. I know I feel best when I eat well and am not foggy-brained from sugar, but sometimes a different need takes precedence.

Emotional turmoil triggers me to binge sometimes, but so too does letting myself get hungry. I can go for a few days on mild restriction and feel great and then BAM, I binge. Is it possible you got a little too hungry? The emotional part is really tough, esp. this time of year, imo. Hang in there!!!!

Originally Posted by mars735:
Hi davina, I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. This might sound cliche, but when I feel in the grip of old eating habits, I try not to directly fight it--usually makes me want to eat more, and get more frustrated with myself. Instead I try to ride it out & be curious about what I'm trying to take care of by eating. And most of all, I avoid making any sort of 'tomorrow I'll really hit the diet' thinking. I know I feel best when I eat well and am not foggy-brained from sugar, but sometimes a different need takes precedence.

Emotional turmoil triggers me to binge sometimes, but so too does letting myself get hungry. I can go for a few days on mild restriction and feel great and then BAM, I binge. Is it possible you got a little too hungry? The emotional part is really tough, esp. this time of year, imo. Hang in there!!!!

thank you so much for reminding me of this. what you said makes a lot of sense.these past few days all ive been thinking of is planning strict eating, looking up paleo lifestyle and considering laxative tea to 'cleanse' my system. . I am not recovered from binge eating/overeating and know that it will be a long and challenging work in progress. it's just scary how quickly the mindset can change. as in before i would binge and be able to move on and now I feel i am in my old eating place where it feels impossible to stop..but even then back in february i did manage to stop and i have to believe i will do it again. thanks Mars735, AmethystJean and Mrs snark for the support:hug:

Back at you davina! :hug: Fwiw, one thing that helps me find my way back from a binge is to follow it with whole foods that I like, without limiting the quantity. Once I get free of cravings and am happy again with healthier food, I can tinker with the amounts (though not in a way that tries to compensate for the binge).

I agree. I would eat whatever I want as long as it's healthy, rather than trying to restrict because that would set you up for a binge again.

Originally Posted by mars735:
Fwiw, one thing that helps me find my way back from a binge is to follow it with whole foods that I like, without limiting the quantity.

That is EXACTLY the strategy I've used, and I swear it broke the cycle for me. I ate like a king the whole week after my last binge (which was a long time ago, at this point!) -- but all healthy, non-trigger foods. I honestly think it made all the difference in the world for me.

Hang in there Davina (all of us!)!