You poor thing! Hang in there, I hope you get some relief and some sleep!

I read through most of the posts in this thread and I must say I am very impressed with yall. Very chatty yet focused on the things that need addressed in order to deal with the things that affect food addiction. I never considered myself to be a food addict however I find myself relating WAY more than I wanna on the food addiction issues.

I would like to join in some here.

Mrs. Snark, wondered what happened to you,:shrug: where you were, how you were doing. Gosh.... Do I sound like maybe perhaps I just may have missed ya a little ??

Nawwwwwwwwwww ....

Well, maybe ;)


I read back on I think it was page 5 of this thread where it was talking about migraines and caffeine or red wine triggering the migraines on your part.

Some people are allergic to red wine. I very often drank a fifth or more of Wild Turkey per night, or something as powerful and chased it with a 12 pack or more of beer:sp:. I seldom had much of a hangover at all. However, so much as half a cup of red wine gave me hellasias headaches/hang overs. If I got them often I would be happy to call them migraines.

Red wine causes a type of severe allergic/poison reaction for some of us and I think from what you said you are also. I am another who is severely allergic to it.

Anyway, being as I sorta paused my drinking for a while.... (21 years) I do not have that problem anymore:cp:. The last time I drank some red wine was 1/2 cup when I had no other alcohol in me just to see it's effects on me:yikes:. It was HORRIBLE the next day :headache::!! Though I very seldom drank red wine at that time, that ended that stuff for me :nono:.


I enjoyed your posts as always.... Good to see ya :)

B F R

Welcome BFR! I truly believe some people are food addicts but I also think it has its grip on us in varying levels...so some more intense than others. Also, the levels can vary within each person. I've found that as I get older, my problems seems to be worse, although it could just be my bad memory. ;)

Regarding red wine...I can't drink it because as much as I love how it feels during, it makes my migraines worse, so it's not worth it at all. I've heard people say that wine without sulfites can make a difference, and while that might be true, I don't want to take a chance and also, I think alcohol is dehydrating, so I'll just pass. :)

Update: this time, I woke up at 2 a.m. after only sleeping for 3 measly hours. I had a rough day with the migraine all day yesterday and I had to have a root canal, which was insane! I didn't cancel because I didn't want them to charge me for cancelling on short notice. I used my OA principles of living in a state of acceptance and that seemed to help a little. What also helped was taking 3 liquid Advils.

Thanks everyone. Keep posting please. I don't want this to be mostly me, complaining about my insanity here. ;) I'm actually overall quite happy, despite the difficulties in my life. I'm so grateful that I ate on track yesterday too. I'm taking it one day at a time and hope that today will be a good day as well in terms of eating. I really believe that once I'm on track for a few weeks, the post-Vegas debacle will be just a bad memory (which I won't let myself forget).

Hugs ladies!

Welcome BFR! On the drinking: I surely do miss having cocktails on the weekend, but they turned into major triggers for my migraines (which had become out of control, almost daily) -- and it was all alcohol, not just red wine. Very sad for me. Booze isn't my only trigger unfortunately, not even the worse one by far since it it easy to avoid. But I'm still not thrilled with having to give it up. But hey -- first world problem, right?

I'm doing much better now that I've gotten medications that seem to be working for me and made some other changes, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to rock the boat.

I was smart over Halloween and didn't buy any of the candy that I can eat and that I love. I had just enjoyed special treats for my birthday, so it was really too soon to be all indulgey again.

I'm trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of the holidays and all the parties and the general end-of-the-year madness. I've gotten so much better about celebrating without food (and actually having fun!), but when Mr. Snark has lots of vacation time everything changes and there will suddenly be alot more tempting junky stuff around and alot more opportunity to eat it, too.

Takes more focus. And often it truly is easier to eat none of something, than it is to try and eat a "reasonable" amount.

Luckymommy -- I need to look up the OA principle of living in a state of acceptance, that sounds intriguing.

Hugs to you ladies and gentlemen!

Let the social anxiety over holiday parties begin. Blerg. Tis the season, ho ho ho.

This time of year always terrifies me and I usually come out of it a lot heavier. I'm determined not to let that happen this time. Who's with me?

I'm with you.

I realize that at parties, part of my urge to eat has to do with having something to direct my attention to that isn't people and the small talk they require. And then if I am forced to make small talk we can talk about the food on my plate. Baaaaaah.

I am mentally gearing up for the big party we are throwing next month with close to 100 people (our annual Christmas boat parade party). It is a special kind of torture when the party you are most dreading is your very own party, lol.

Luckymommy, I sympathize with you. Your friends should respect your wishes and avoid food related celebrations. If you give in and go along with them, you are telling them that you didn't really mean it when you said you didn't want to go to eat. If they go ahead and plan it, tell them you won't be there. Before retirement I worked at a place where every occasion was celebrated by everyone bringing in a covered dish and having a big luncheon. Birthdays, anniversaries, babies, holidays etc. When I retired I made an announcement that I didn't want a party, and anyone who is truly my friend will respect my wishes. There was no party. No one wanted to be the one who was truly not my friend. They were very disappointed that they didn't get to have a party, but I told them to have it on Monday, after I'm gone. LOL

We have become a society that celebrates with food. Unfortunately, not all of us can control their consumption. If I want to be honest with myself, I would like to be able to eat whenever and whatever I want all day long. I love food, and love to eat. My body does not feel "satisfaction" until I am totally stuffed and uncomfortable. I have to be diligent every day to avoid doing that and I've accepted that it will be that way for the rest of my life.

Wannabehealthy, I'm amazed at your ability to stay strong and let everyone know exactly what you need to stay on track. I'm working on it. ;) I'm not going to let anyone guilt me into eating sugar or flour. As far as the holidays, it's mostly the fact that I have kids, so it's not just about what I need. I don't think I can stop having Thanksgiving just because I have an issue with it (not saying that's what you do)...i just have to learn to stay focused and only eat the foods I can have in reasonable amounts. As far as my bday goes, I've consolidated it into a lunch for all my friends and I chose a restaurant where I can make good choices. If anyone brings desert, I will just tell them to enjoy it without me. That's the plan and I'll see how it goes.

Thanks for your support! :hug:

Hi fellow food addicts. I just wanted to ask you guys if you're ever just tired of the struggle? I am. Don't get me wrong...it's absolutely worth it and I'm so much happier when I'm working at it and not giving up. However, I'm just tired of it. Like right now, I'm waiting for my lunch. I know I will have it in about 50 minutes and that's exciting but I can hardly wait. What I would like is to be able to just go and eat as much as I want and not to have to worry about what I eat and when but I can't because if I eat too early, that will seriously mess me up. I will start to feel off track and it might just lead to a binge and that will lead me to be very unhappy. I would love to just go and get whatever I want from the fridge, make a plate of food and just have it be simple. I guess sometimes it's just hard to have to deal with this eating disorder and I would really like to not have it.

I'm very fascinated by watching normal people eat. I'll see them order something at a restaurant and it's a full on meal and they'll either leave a lot of it or they'll eat it all and I'm left wondering what they'll do the rest of the day. Will they eat a lot less because they're just so full? Or will they still have large sized meals and not let it phase them at all? They make it look so easy.

I guess for me that's how it is with alcohol. I'm not tempted by it in the least.

I don't really know what I"m trying to say. Can anyone relate to the frustration of how much of a struggle this is and that on some days we can be fighters but then on other days, even though we're putting up a fight, it's just utterly exhausting?

I'm sending you guys hugs....for all of you out there who are struggling with me with this issue of food addiction. Thanks so much for listening.

I understand completely. That's exactly it...with alcohol, I don't have to even think about it or worry about pacing myself. Food is not on autopilot like it is for others. I have to plan ahead, make a game plan for outings, keep things seperate in the fridge that are safe for me. It is definitely tiring.

However, keeping foods prepared weekly for myself has made it a lot less tiring. If the kids are having something not on my own plan, I don't have to sit with that feeling of weakness for more than a second because I can quickly grab my foods out of the fridge.

My dad is one of those "normal" people. We had my parents over this weekend for a BBQ. He had a hot dog on a bun, a grilled chicken breast on a bun with mayo, and 3 big pieces of cake. A handful of chips and dip. Diet coke.

He is pretty significantly underweight and a serious runner (last weekend he won his age group at a 15k, the weekend before that he won his age group at a 5k -- I'm so jealous). He's 70. He seems to keep his body weight effortlessly low. Obviously he runs alot (he also lifts weights at the gym 3 times a week), but still. He doesn't count anything or plan his meals or worry about food in any way. He seemingly eats what he wants, however much he wants. He has a big sweet tooth. I sent them home with more cake, which he ate with ice cream that night.

I watch him and think HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW?!?!?!?!

Yes, I get tired of feeling at a disadvantage when it comes to my food issues. I will say that these days there seems to be more people with their own food issues than without any. My mother, my husband, and me -- we all now struggle with food in various ways and to various degrees -- so only 1 person at the table this weekend would have what I consider a "normal" relationship with foods.

I usually use humor to fight these feelings, and then I compare myself to people with even bigger problems to get myself out of a funk if I find myself wallowing too much. A little wallowing is fine, too much and it is detrimental for my overall well-being and only makes things harder. I've been known to wallow my way right up the scale, which didn't help!

Thanks ladies. I was just having one of those moments. I definitely don't like to wallow. It's not useful and can be a very slippery slope.

What I should have done is called or texted my Sponsor. She would have undoubtedly told me to read the paragraph on acceptance from the Big Book.

Here it is, if anyone is curious (btw, you don't have to see God in a religious sense. You can see it as anything greater than yourself. Some people think of Higher Power as the OA program itself, or reality or whatever works for them):

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here. Obviously, the word alcoholism would be replaced by compulsive overeating or whatever would apply to the person reading it.

At some point in my past, someone shared a modified serenity prayer which she termed a "serenity meditation" that I like very much:

"Through my efforts, I gain the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Definitely strikes a chord!

That's really great, Mrs Snark...I like that modified serenity prayer!

I actually just bought a necklace that says: Serenity, Courage, Wisdom...I got one for myself and one for my Sponsor. :)