Hi everyone, I'm new here and March is almost over, but I would REALLY REALLY like to go even ONE day binge free. Hopefully that will be today!

Day 8, begin!

Nightbugs: Good luck! You got this!

Thank you!!

On days that I don't exercise, I aim for 1200 calories. When I exercise, I usually eat the 1200 and then add on however many calories I burned from my workout. Sometimes I won't make up for all of the calories I burned if I'm just not really hungry. Generally speaking though, I love food and eating haha so its nice to be able to eat more on workout days. Maybe you could try lowering your calorie intake a little at a time each day by like 50 calories?

Yeah I think I will try that - 1500 seems to be too high for me and I get discouraged by not losing weight

Xena- how long have you been not losing at 1500 calories? Just curious- that seems like if you are consistent you SHOULD be losing something... But everyone is different!

Nightbugs- welcome and good luck!

Starting a new day today- I'm going to really try to stop counting and go day by day. Treating every day like a new day 1- we'll see. I'm kind of having some guilt about overeating yesterday- even though it wasn't by much... That coupled with not working out yesterday and I'll be driving all day again today- plus I've go a minor foot injury that has kept me from running, so I haven't been able to do the workouts that I LIKE for a little over a week- just feeling fat and yucky
.. One of those days. And I miss my man! But, I'm going to make today into a good one anyways. Maybe when I finish my drive I'll go on a long walk or something- better than nothing!

I also relate to counting and I also remember reading that many believe that there is a tie between OCD and binge eating disorder. I can believe that. When I was younger, I developed some OCD tendencies, like always having to check whether money was still in my wallet every few minutes, and having to constantly check whether the front door was locked.

I am at the end of week 17 binge-free, Day 119. I don't have many binge thoughts these days, which is strange (hope I can still post here though because identify with y'all and what you're going through). What I'm struggling with is maintaining my weight. The diet mentality is still there. I am being constantly challenged by my therapists to eat more, eat a wider variety of foods, eat the foods I crave or prefer rather than always choosing the lower-calorie, "healthier" option, and reducing my exercise. It's all so much.

I maintained last week but yesterday they weighed me again and said I am down a little again. I now have to keep a food journal so they can assess whether I am eating enough to maintain. I also have to write down my exercise experiences: anxiety level before and after exercise; why am I exercising (because I want to feel good or to burn calories); etc. I feel very cornered.

I know that I need to challenge myself if I am ever going to have a truly normal attitude towards food and exercise, but I am so afraid to abandon my food and exercise beliefs because I don't want to regain. Such a struggle. When I signed up for help, I just wanted to overcome my binge eating tendencies. I didn't even think that restricting and overexercising was bad. Or that eating healthy all the time was bad. But their goal isn't to stop the binging but to treat the entire disorder so I can live a life free of all disordered eating.

I feel like I have come so far but wow, there's so much further to go...

^^kitty i think we'll never be normal around food and the ocd corelation with eating disorder i think is totally true for me. i have many ocds but i try to ignore them. i'm so happy for your success with the therapy group .

xena- maybe you're having a plateau??
danzigurl-i also take it day by day, i should be around one month but i'm not sure anymore. it works for me right now.
but today i had a chillaxing day and i definitely overate, luckily it didn't turn into binge and i stayed in my maintenance range but i wanted to eat more but instead i took shower and the crave went away. but yesterday i went on a trip i didn't eat almost all day and i was starving when i came home and the kitchen was occupied and i couldn't make proper dinner so i just had cookies and i think today i made up for yesterday. i'm going home in two days and i feel the panic already. i just don't want to ruin my progress. "no matter what i must stay on track" is my mantra.

So i binged today. I don't even know why. What was interesting is that i could not get the relief/high i usually get from bingeing. It felt like the drug is not working anymore at all...not that i am sad about it but that never happened before. I felt like what is the purpose if it doesn't do nothing for me...

I should just stop for good - it has zero benefits...

Today wasn't great. But not terrible either.
I ate a lot... more than I should have. But I did get in a good workout and walked my dog for an hour.
I made pancakes and cookies for my family, and didn't binge on either. I ate a lot of cookie dough, but it was more along the lines of "I need to taste test this to make sure it's good," not "EATEATEATBINGEEAT"
So, I'm probably 500 calories over what I burned, at least, but I'm okay with it. I didn't binge
Tomorrow, I'll get back on track, and will be at Day 5!

Today went well for me. Hopefully tomorrow will also go well. Kittykatfan I also have OCD tendencies. I didn't really know the extent of it until a couple years ago I got burned with acid at work. not a huge amount but I do have a few scars on my face and i had a hole in my eyelid which closed up and changed the shape of the fold of my eyelid ever so slightly. Most people would not even notice a difference but i started looking at it alot in the mirror and then it became an obsession. i literally had to check myself in the mirror and look at the scar every five minutes. It got really bad at one point and i was probably looking at it in the mirror for approximately 8 hours per day on my days off. so crazy, and i realized i had ocd. i don't do the mirror thing anymore but it was tough to stop.

it is due to this obsessivness that i try to avoid counting calories. usually when i'm doing really well with not binging and being on the low end of my weight range I am not counting calories. i just eat when i'm hungry and just try to have enough to satisfy and no more. So theoretiically I would be eating the minimum amount my body is happy with which makes alot more sense than arbitrarily picking a calculated number. why would it make sense to eat exactly the same everyday when some days i do much more than other days. also by doing this i am eating the minimum and not eating more than i need simply to "get in my allowance". and honestly, i find this to be the best way and the most successful. However, when things start to go really well with this i start getting greedy. i think "well if i just try to buckle down and eat a specific preset low number of calories that has the correct macros for fat loss" then I will be better than ever. but it backfires everytime. the obsession with calories begins. and even when i eat the correct amount, i question the number, maybe i could've done a hundred less, or maybe i should have more. i overanalyze, i obsess and i binge back up to my higher weight range. and then i give up, relax, stop counting calories and lose weight again.

i am sure calorie counting is wonderful for some people, and it was beneficial for me when i was younger and had no clue what a serving size was. it was a real eye opener for me. but now i know how to eyeball serving sizes and honestly i do much better not knowing the exact number of calories i consume at the end of the day. it takes away any possible guilt on not meeting or slightly exceeding some number. i wish i could know and not be obsessed with the number but sadlly i cannot. By not counting i cannot fail and feeling like i failed at anything leads me to binging.

Danzingurl, sorry to hear about the foot. i had a foot injury that prevented me from running for almost a year. i ended up buying an elliptical since i hate biking and wanted a good calorie workout. i didn't enjoy the elliptical too much and went straight back to running as soon as i could, but the elliptical did help me get the heart rate up that has such a huge effect on my mental well being.

Xena, don't get down on yourself for today. I have been in your shoes alot, binging with no real reason. binging just for the sake of it. just move ahead and try not to dwell on it.

Painted ponies, congrats on not binging. that is a huge accomplishment when you eat more than you want but do not let it turn into a binge. Every once in a while I can do this, but more often than not eating more than what makes me comfortable triggers a binge. so good job.

Sorry, I must have missed that - AMAZING!!!

Veggiedaze - that is intersting. I think with calories you either like or hate it. For me it saves my butt. I can eat whatever I want and still meet my goals. I tried the intuitive eating thing and also clean eating thing and gained from 77 to 92 kg in 3 months since I didnīt weight and fooled myself with portion sizes.

I was kinda shocked that I gained so much, but I binged 2 times a week (every weekend) and ate way too much during the week. Stretchy pants and not weighing didnīt help either.

Now I am sitting here having to lose even more than ever before... I donīt go crazy with the calories though. Anything between 1200 and 2000 is fine with me as long as I donīt binge.

Yeah I completely understand, it sucks to hit plateaus with losing weight.. its so discouraging. But try to think positive! I'm rooting for you!


Here goes day 8 for me.. everyone have a good Monday

Xena - for sure calorie counting works wonders for some people. Having a fairly wide range like you said between 1200 and 2000 is something i've never done before. i always get fixated on a pretty precise number which is my downfall. and it's hard not to get discouraged when the scale doesn't budge despite a big effort. sometimes it could simply be that you are holding water and that its masking any weight loss.

KittyKatFan - that is quite an accomplishment 17 weeks.

SmurphyKU - congrats on 8 days!

Starting another day and feeling pretty good. I got a call to come in for an interview for a new dance team coaching opportunity- and also got a call to come and audition for a dance part in a new movie being produced! This Thursday is going to be crazy- but exciting! Hopefully all of the stress won't trigger a binge. But- I can't think about that now, because I am taking things one day at a time.

Xenia- I hope you are feeling better! You're exactly right- nothing good ever comes from bingeing.

Veggiedaze- that's an interesting thought. I can't imagine ever stopping counting calories... I am sure I have a little OCD when it comes to calories... I wonder what would happen to me if I tried to stop.

Smurphy- great job! You made it past a week! That always feels great

Painted ponies- I'm so glad that you didn't binge! Way to be string!

aaa danzigurl-a movie role? that's great ...i hope you get it

today has been one of those heaavy, depressive days when i get the feeling like i'll never reach my goaland all the hard work is invain. it started snowing an it's been raining for the past few days and it's suppose to be spring!
i hope i'll get out of this soon, i need to start packing, do my homework and answer emails but i just don't have the will to do it. i keep postponing it.
uggh i hate this feeling