So I got up today at 6:45 to exercise, and immediately my thoughts turned to binging. I wanted to go get donuts and a chicken biscuit or two. I have been back on plan for three days so I was surprised by the intensity of my cravings.
I talked myself out of it, telling myself to go walk, and if I still wanted to go after that, ok. The whole walk, I was fighting myself, craving food but talking myself out of it. I ended up walking for two hours and twenty minutes and I think I won the battle. For now.
But I also have realized that this problem is never going to go away on its own. I need help. I actually found a web site for an eating disorders therapy clinic, with inpatient, outpatient, and other types of treatments for all eating disorders. I just sent a note to their intake coordinator to ask for an appointment. I have to do something because I am miserable and in fear of regaining because I see the same thought patterns emerge as the last time I lost and regained.
Hey! I just wanted to say a few things. First of all, WAY TO GO. That's fantastic that you had the willpower to combat a binge.
To be quite frank with you, I also developed a binging thing- stemming what seems to be from the same fears as you- re-gaining, and being miserable about it.
Your willpower is phenomenal.
While you await contact from the therapist (also, please keep me updated on how they contact you? I've been meaning to do the same thing, but need to uh, just DO IT).
Aside from that- look at what you're eating, is it maybe not enough? Are your burns too high?
For me, a solution- which is working now (and I am hoping it's not a bandaid solution) was increasing calories by 150 a day, from about 1550 to 1600-1800- usually ending up closer to 1800. I am losing at an even quicker pace now.
i see a therapist for non food related problems. i have to say that after going for a while i started feeling like its something that everyone should consider. my therapist doesnt offer a lot of opinions or tell me what to do, she just LISTENS. ive never had someone do that. she'll ask questions and let me keep talking until i sort of work things out for myself. having someone who just shuts the **** up for an hour and listens to whatever you have to say is worth the $$. lol. also, since its not like shes going to tell anyone what i say, i feel a lot more open and relaxed telling her things.
if they dont contact you back try giving a call. good luck!
Last edited by juliastl27; 10-20-2012 at 02:06 PM.
I've been to an eating disorders clinic as an outpatient. So helpful! Every bit of professional help that I've sought has been wonderful, moving me forward to finding a place of peace with food and eating.
I don't overeat any more. I don't binge either. But I still have emotions that I deal with, and that'll be with me forever because I'm a human. The one thing that helps me deal with that, so I don't fall into old behaviors, is a method called Emotional Brain Training. It really helped to recognize when I hit an emotionally intense moment that causes me to panic look for safety in food or other behaviors. It costs money and takes time to learn, and I'm still involved with getting better at it. But I've been practicing it for over 10 years and it's gotten me through a lot of rough stuff.
I've never been to a therapist, but I know a few of them. A lot of them say that as far as helping with things like eating disorders, behavioral therapy is one of the absolute best options. It's supposed to work really well. It's also very good for things like depression and anxiety, which can contribute to eating problems.
I am also going to buy a couple of books on binging and compulsive overeating while I wait to get an appointment. I don't know if I'm more worried that they won't call me back...or whether they WILL call me back. I'm so uncomfortable talking about myself and when I went to another counselor and revealed info, she acted like I was abnormal.
Stimkovs, I don't know if the problem is my calorie intake. Maybe I am a bit low. But I binged even when I weighed 300+ pounds so restricted calories isn't the entire issue.
I just want to have control. I don't have trouble with drinking, or drugs, or gambling, shopping or any other vice, so it is frustrating to feel like I have no control over food.
Control is the issue for me as well. My relationship with food makes me uncomfortable. Yes I would like to lose weight, and yes the number on the scale is an issue for me now, but most importantly, I would like to live the rest of my life without obssessing over food, how much I ate, and how much I weight and what I look like for the rest of my life.
The therapist you went to before might not have been a good fit. Sometimes you have to try a few before you find someone who can really hear you.
I spoke with an intake coordinator, who has set me up with a phone call next week with a therapist to determine if I'm a good candidate for their outpatient program for binge eating. It sounds initially like I'm a fit.
It is a special program designed for those with binge eating disorder. It meets eleven hours a week, four hours on Monday and Tuesday, and three hours on Saturday. Quite a time commitment, and my boss will probably be angry with me for reduced hours on Monday and Tuesday, but I will do it if it will help me with this struggle.
Sounds like my insurance will help pay for it too.
I had my initial phone call with a therapist today so she could determine whether I would be a good fit for their binge eating disorder outpatient program and she said I'm the perfect candidate! What an honor
It takes 11 hours/week and a minimum of 8 weeks. I am starting after the Thanksgiving holiday. I have to tell my boss that I need to cut back my hours on Monday and Tuesday, and can't make them up on Saturday because the program is that day too. But she'll just have to deal with it.
When the therapist said she knew the program would help me, I nearly cried. I can't imagine what life might be like without fear of binging hanging over my head. My only fear is that the program starts with only treating the disorder and getting people to stop the binging behavior. Weight loss is not supposed to happen because it is too difficult to be treated for binging and addressing weight loss at the same time. So I am scared about my weight loss plan being placed on hold for two months...
But if I learn how to cope without binging and can maintain, it will be amazing too. I can deal with the weight loss later, as long as I don't gain I'm ok.
I will be working with a dietician and nutritionist during the program, and will also receive group counseling and individual counseling.
I hope this works out. I can't believe I may one day be able to treat food the way most other people do: being able to stop when full; having a small piece of birthday cake and being able to avoid sugar binging afterwards; eating when I'm hungry rather than eating all the time...
Just an update. I started an outpatient treatment program for Binge Eating Disorder this week. I don't know how I am going to manage my workload - the program is 11 hours/week excluding homework. But I have to do it.
It is intimidating to be in unfamiliar surroundings, working with people I don't know. I am very scared because the program focuses on breaking the binge cycle and returning to a healthy way of eating, and not on weight loss. So I worry that I will gain the weight back. And I am frustrated to put my weight loss efforts on hold...for at least two months, and more likely for several
My mindset will have to change too. You eat three meals and two snacks per day and you don't count calories, carbs, etc. The philosophy is that there is no bad food. They tell you that each meal should have a protein, a starch, and a veggie. No food is off the table: I nearly dropped dead from shock when the dietician said it was ok to go to the taco place or burger place next door. Even soft drinks are allowed, and dessert is encouraged a couple times per week, the philosophy being that if you have a little of it, then you won't obsess about it and binge.
In fact, the only foods that are discouraged are low-cal and low-fat foods. Diet drinks and low-cal dressings are frowned upon. They want you to feel satisfied and enjoy the full flavor.
I still have so much brain re-wiring to do. I don't know how I will do with a plan that focuses on portion size and nothing being out of bounds except the foods I have depended on to lose weight, and no calorie counting...but clearly what I have done in the past has failed so I am totally committed to doing everything they say.
There is an exercise class (easy, no big deal) and body image counseling, as well as group therapy and individual therapy. You eat there on the days you go there: you bring your own food two nights a week and they make recommendations on what to add/subtract) and they do a cooking session once a week. There is also a counselor who you can contact if you think you are going to binge.
I hope this program works for me. I can't imagine how great it would be to have healthy, non-obsessive eating habits for the first time in my adult life.
a good therapist can carefully LISTEN and provide feedback
Exactly! I think that this (so simple) thing is what keeps good and bad therapists apart: bad ones just talk, they do not listen!
I mean.. they really don't.
Shouldn't it be like: I speak, he listens. Then he speaks, I listen and again and again.. until I get better?
Just requested an appointment with a therapist
