I thought when I made the realization that I had a problem with binge eating that I would be able to control it. Today I had my first binge since coming to that conclusion. I feel worse today than I did previously because I feel like I should know better now and be able to realize what's happening then stop it in it's track. Instead I had 10 full minutes of mindlessly eating before I cam home for dinner with my husband. I barely ate dinner because I felt like I was going to throw up, then I ate a huge slice of pie that also made me sick. It feels like a constant arm wrestling event with myself. I can't even pinpoint the reason today. I have started my TOM and I do struggle with PMDD, but today was a good day...I wasn't stressed or anxious. I didn't even realize how much I ate until I looked at the aftermath. I feel so ashamed and defeated. The guilt is worse now than before...
How do you all handle when binges attack? Is there a way to come to them head on then move past? I feel lost
I'm really sorry that you're feeling bad and having a bad day. I call it "falling off the wagon" & let me tell you, honey, I do it - A LOT. But.. Ive found THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN DO is feel guilty & let it get you down. When you get depressed like that, you lose youre motivation & everything that has gotten you this far.
You've lost 27lbs!! That's impressive!! I wish I could say that!! & NO MATTER how "bad" this one day was - you are NOT going to gain back all 30 lbs. BUT, if you don't shake the bad mood, you could fall off the wagon, & stay off
So, just stop thinking about it! Watch a scary movie or read a book, go to sleep, & remember tomorrow is a new day, & a fresh start! You're too far in to turn back now!!!
Thanks for the encouragement. Unfortunately I haven't updated my ticker and I have gained it back over a very stressful period of moving, new jobs, and planning a wedding all at once. Now I am fighting to get back down.
I don't know why I thought that it would just click within me and suddenly be easy. Today, I was able to fight the urge and get a healthy subway sandwich instead of the little caesar's pizza that I was heading towards. It's just kind of hitting me that this is going to be a constant struggle.
Thankfully though my husband got me a new TV and DVD player to go out in our den so that I can exercise when I want (my labs make it hard to do workout videos in the living room as they join in and knock me over ) It's funny to me though because I know that I need to watch myself with exercising because in college I was binging, but I also went to the extreme with exercise. Food is another story.
Thanks for all of the props though, I do feel better today. It's good to know I'm not alone
Ahhh, the binge.
We used to be old friends, but i had to get rid of her. She just made me feel bad :-(
I used to binge and then hide the evidence. Then I would start hiding my food and how much I ate from everyone. That graduated to eating as fast as possible. That graduated to an eating disorder. Then I put my foot down.
For me, I was able to control the urge to binge by having a food ritual. I dont eat unless I am sitting at a table with nothing around me and i only eat what is on a plate/bowl. If I eat while watching tv, its easy for me to "zone out" and not know how much I ate. I try to put all my food on aplate (even fast food) so that I am aware of my portion size and I can see when to stop. I eat slow and try to savor the food.
The hardest thing for me was the emotional binging. I would get mad/angry/sad/happy and eat until my belly felt like it was gonna pop.
Now when I have an 'emotional trigger' I write, I read, I listen to music and I dont allow myself to even be near food unless I am truly hungry. to avoid a binge, I take my time to prepare something. Usually by the time I make the food, put it on a plate, take it to the table, the urge to overeat has left me.
Its a long hard battle *hugs* but its not impossible. Today, you binged. Tomorrow, you wont! Stay strong. Recognize your triggers and try to remove them. I hope this helps.
Your first paragraph pretty much described me now, minus the having it in control. I don't know whether what I have is an eating disorder. It sounds crazy to say that, to me I just keep telling myself it's not that bad. My husband has no idea, i hide all evidence whether it be stopping at gas stations to throw things away or physically hiding the food or even "cleaning up" and taking things out of their original contain to put in baggies so no one can tell. I ate so fast yesterday until I was ready to throw up; i had no idea how much I ate really until I saw the wrappers. I tried to stop mid eating, but then i was fighting myself and I ended up finishing it.
I haven't found anything through reading some about binging on separate websites that would help. I have started a blog just for me to keep a record of things. I will try what works for you because that sounds like a great idea. The craziest idea that I have seen is taking appetite suppressants because it will keep your hunger down so you won't binge, but i'm not binging when I'm hungry. Diet pills are a bad thing for me as I tend to overdo it with them so I try to avoid them. However, seeing that idea now I am fighting that urge to get them. It's just too much sometimes. I feel like I am always fighting something.
I'm totally with you. I did the same thing yesterday. They always say that the first step is admitting that you have a problem, but they never tell you what to do after that. :-) I think it's great that you recognize the behavior. That really is definitely key to changing. But it doesn't mean that it stops the bingeing impulses. I've figured that out the hard way too. But what both you and I need to stop doing is hating ourselves for it. To stop feeling the guilt. I was really down on myself yesterday about it too. And got some great support on this site as well. But I guess the thing that I realized is that I binged one day, but it doesn't mean that I need to today. I have to not make a continuing cycle as I have in the past. That is sooooo hard. But what I realized yesterday is that I didn't get the high that I usually do from previous binges. And I think that's because my eating habits are slowly changing. I think remembering that the next time is going to help me to fight the urges. I hope. :-) In the meantime just try to move forward. I woke up today feeling better. Hopefully you have too. It's another day that we're lucky enough to have to try to make the change!
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Originally Posted by WVUFan86
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Thankfully though my husband got me a new TV and DVD player to go out in our den so that I can exercise when I want (my labs make it hard to do workout videos in the living room as they join in and knock me over )
This totally made me laugh. My 80 pound dog does the same thing to me. She's half lab so maybe it's something with the breed. Luckily mine is in my basement so I can shut the door. But when I forget she's all over me knocking me over as well. Gotta love dogs!
I have made two huge steps for myself in the past week:
1. I told my husband what has been going on
2. I have made my first appointment with a psychiatrist
I am excited to get the help I need and not have to hide
i am in the process of overcoming my binge habit. I have not binged in a month.
I have given up trying to control my carbs/sugar addiction. i now believe that i must trust myself enough to know that there is something physically wrong with me. My body hyper-reacts to sugars and creates uncontrollable desire for everything sweet or starchy.
I can resist sugar and pasta and bread. I don't need them.
As a fellow binge eater I feel like it is an addiction and like any addiction we have to take it one day at a time, or one moment at a time. Don´t be too hard on yourself because you had a slip up, and acknoledging you have a problem does not mean it is instantly solved, it takes years.
My last binge was 9 days ago on a lonely Saturday night while missing my deployed husband. I sat and scarfed down 9 chocloate donuts, 2 hot dogs, 1 giant size bag of puffed cheetos, and PB&J sandwich and washed it down with a 2 liter of coke I drank straight from the bottle.
I wanted to die afterwards and couldnt understand why I always do this to myself, but you really just have to do the best that you can at the time, and when you feel like binging next time, just remind yourself it only feels good in the moment, and it won´t get you to the happy and healthy person you deserve to be!!
Thought it would be different now.
) It's funny to me though because I know that I need to watch myself with exercising because in college I was binging, but I also went to the extreme with exercise. Food is another story. 
