Recovering Binger needs help snapping out of it...
Hi everybody,
My name is UBER and I'm a binge eater.
I lost over 100 lbs since June 2009, and did not binge a single time in close to two years.
But lately, my life has been very stressful.
I finally figured out that I binge due to anxiety....
Since January 19th, I've been back to struggling again. I have that out-of-control feeling with food and have had a number of true binges-- even going back to some of the stuff that I thought I had gotten completely under control, like eating candy straight from the bag and cool whip.
Yesterday, I thought I was on track, and was off track by 9 am.
I lived with this problem for years and NEVER got a handle on it. But now I realize that I HAVE to get a handle on it, because I'm putting weight back on and I feel stressed and miserable.
I need some advice from breaking out of this cycle.
Not sure I can be of any help yet, because I feel similar to you. Only I have not yet lost the 100 lbs. (so you are an inspiration) I have just recently started to understand that I too am an anxiety eater. Which surprises me, because if you asked anyone about my personality anxious would not be what comes to mind. But perhaps that is because I quell the anxiety with overeating which lately is out of control.
I am planning on calling for an appointment today to speak with a therapist about anxiety.
I think we live in a world that breeds anxiety and unfortunately many of us cope with it by overeating. Which of course makes us more anxious:
I am new here, in fact this is my first post. Your post rang true with me, so thank you for sharing.
Hi UBER. I am thrilled by all your successes to get where you are now. An awesome accomplishment. I understand the binge and anxiety issue. I lost lots of weight in '09 then crises--one after another--struck that fall and I couldn't recover my balance. It took until the very end of '10 for the crises to stop stricking and for me to start crawling up out of the pavement. I've got elementary-aged sons so I really picture Wonder Woman smashed below the ground, under giant boulders, and audience cringing as they know that no one could survive all that...
I only share it because I've recently been able to reflect back over these last four months of increasing control, peace, and balance. I still have binged (most recently at the end of an awesome weekend "silent" retreat where I was so grateful for the time) but I think I might be starting to win the balance trick.
In the past couple months, I felt like I was going to binge but found better things to turn attention to. I don't think it feels like "control" per se but self-care, balance, calm, and long-range goal appreciation. I always kept thinking it was all about "control" and steel will. But I think it's less POWER and more CARE. I've had less all-day binges and swifter return to my calorie counting and exercise. I'm also not over doing exercise to allow for unhealthy eating (another issue where I killed my knees by all the HIIT power aerobics I was doing).
Anyway, I don't know if any of this helps. I'm still working it out myself. This whole year is dedicated to finding balance within all my life--eating, exercising, work, moods, career goals, etc. I know it's a long row to hoe but I can at least see a little bit behind me to encourage some more down this way. We'll see.
Best wishes to you. I know it will come out right for you. Keep trying.
Well done on your amazing success, try and focus on what you have achieved especially the no binges in 2 years, that is great. Also good that you can identify why you do binge, I can relate since I also struggle with anxiety being a trigger.
I have found I really just have to be relentless in getting up and pushing forward after I do slip up, it seems to get easier. I think the worst thing you can do is be really hard on yourself or just admit defeat. You deserve better than both of those things!
I find when I have times of relapse i tend to stop drinking enough water, so I'd recommend making sure you keep yourself full on water or low cal fruit juices as much as possible, I am also liking a cup of coffee of some kind in the morning-It makes all the difference to me as to whether I'll binge before lunch time draws round.
If possible as well, try to just not keep stuff you can easily binge on in the house. I still don't really buy multi packs because they're just too easy to mindlessly eat and then feel bad -> binge on.
Uber, I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom for you but I did want to give you a huge hug.
Although I reached goal in January and am maintaining okay so far, the binges that I thought were long since gone are also now back for me too...
Binging for me serves so many purposes, far too long for me to go into here when this is about your struggles, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in dealing with it, even after we both thought we had it under control.
For me I really can't figure out why some days I can stop a binge happening, then others I have no control whatsoever. The only saving grace for me is that my binges are always on a weekend, mostly Saturday or Sunday, sometimes both , and so far I've been able to get straight back on my maintenance plan at the beginning of the new week and repair any damage done within a few days, but it still doesn't make it any easier to understand.
Like I said, I'm sorry I can't help, but just know you aren't alone in this, even at goal I'm struggling and always feel like I'm just one binge away from gaining those 140 odd pounds back...
I only share it because I've recently been able to reflect back over these last four months of increasing control, peace, and balance. I still have binged (most recently at the end of an awesome weekend "silent" retreat where I was so grateful for the time) but I think I might be starting to win the balance trick.
In the past couple months, I felt like I was going to binge but found better things to turn attention to. I don't think it feels like "control" per se but self-care, balance, calm, and long-range goal appreciation. I always kept thinking it was all about "control" and steel will. But I think it's less POWER and more CARE.
Best wishes to you. I know it will come out right for you. Keep trying.
You have absolutely hit on my core issues here, and I know that this is what is going on with me. When I start fantasizing about quitting my job and moving way out into the country where I'll do nothing but read poetry-- that's usually the same moment that I know I'm in a lot of danger.
Today has been an okay day. It really helps to know that I'm not alone.
In the past couple months, I felt like I was going to binge but found better things to turn attention to. I don't think it feels like "control" per se but self-care, balance, calm, and long-range goal appreciation. I always kept thinking it was all about "control" and steel will. But I think it's less POWER and more CARE.
This is a brilliant summation of something that I have not been able to articulate, and I thank you for this insight.
It's been about checking in with myself, listening to myself, asking myself how I feel, what I really need, and allowing myself to crumble & be fragile. In short, it has meant sometimes asking less of myself. I can't just power through everything, as I once thought I could, as The Needless Wonder. I may seem competent & unscathed but I am not. Bingeing was one of the ways my body tried to get me to pay attention to my unmet needs.
Uber, how much have you been asking of yourself lately? And what have you been doing to replenish yourself? Replenishing shouldn't mean feeding, but it may be the only language your body has for communicating with you that some needs just aren't being met, and that you ignore them at your peril.
Recovering Binger needs help snapping out of it...
