Yeah. I've begun to struggle with this, and to work through it, I've had to remember what gave me success the first time I took off some weight -- having a new body after a period of disrepair is an essential part of being "me." It's not a job that you put on and take off, it's not responsibility after responsibility. It's a new, higher standard. You have to decide to be better and change yourself. It's just food, after all.
I realize that can sound highly charged. Struggling with one's attitudes toward eating can be a serious, serious challenge. Many people never overcome it. And many people who never overcome it are good, intelligent, successful people. So it's easy to think it's something we can put off or put at the bottom of the totem pole.
However, this is just one example of exercising my personal willpower and judgment over baser emotional temptations. I do it to go to my job every day. I do it to maintain and grow relationships with my loved ones and friends. I do it every day, when I feel tired, or fed up with a person at work, or with my family. So why shouldn't I be able to do it with simple food and tastes? Because I think I deserve an out? We never get outs in life. The world doesn't work like that. It doesn't owe us anything. What we have the choice to do is either to act on that understanding or pretend that the truth is different.
In a way, changing this is like an act of emotional maturity. When I start to understand the truth about myself, I can do amazing stuff, because then while acknowledging it, I can act on my strengths and minimize weaknesses, and adopt the strategy for this problem that's right for me. So I've decided to reward dedication. The longer I cheat with bits and bites, the longer I go without getting a proper cheat meal. And that's just how it is. So I better stay on plan.
My plan is less rigid than some because I work in a place where I can sometimes score free food/scavenge (not a restaurant) and I'm low-carb. But I still estimate calories by size and weight of food, and I try to make that food meat, unbreaded, rather than anything else.
Children live by rules. Adults live by standards. If I can't move easily from "don't do this" to "ah, I see why I shouldn't do this, and I won't," then I am still a child about something and I need rules. But there comes a time to just say: "Grow up."
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