[Jacque]

The other day when I took my toddler to the library, I was wandering through the stacks of books when one popped out at me. "When Food Is Love". I quickly grabbed it up, I'd seen it mentioned somewhere (possibly here?) and people saying it had really helped them. So I thought "What the heck! I'll give it a shot!"

Well, I'm not very far in yet, (My husband is out of town for work and it's just me and the toddler - which leads to some LONG busy days!) but I started thinking today...

Does it always have to be the result of something deeper?

I am a binge eater. Compulsive Overeater. Food Addict. Call it what you will.

I've also been in therapy for a few years now (when I was pregnant my husband and I were close to divorcing - but that has long since past.) and we talked a lot about my weight, but never really settled on what it was. (I have been 250+ pounds for probably seven years now.)

I'm not sure there is a definitive reason I love food. I've always really felt like I just like to eat. So is that possible? Does it have to be something deeper? Or am I just fooling myself in thinking it's just because I like food?

[Helen ready to lose]

I've been asking myself the same question for over 30 years. I love to eat what I want when I want it, instant gratification.

[beerab]

I think it is. For me food was a friend, it was always there, it didn't judge me, and it made me feel good.

But when I started to get overweight we had a love-hate relationship.

Most of my over-eating was due to boredom IMO and since then I've found hobbies to keep myself occupied- and overall it's helped. Before I'd eat and eat after dinner, now after dinner that's it. Occasionally I'll have a snack, but nothing like I used to have before!

I read conquering your food addiction by Caryl Elrich- I definitely learned a lot from it

[dragonfly21]

I'm so glad you started a thread about this! I own this book and every Geneen Roth book ever written. I hope to follow more of her intuitive eating principles once I lose more weight. I really like what she writes, but for a while I got really depressed because I was convincing myself that some horrible repressed trauma had happened to me and caused me to become a compulsive overreater. After some serious discussion with my mom, I really know that is not true and I'm not repressing anything. It's just how I am! I remember being 7 and always wanting to eat. If I was at a friends home, I would be scared we might not eat when I got hungry! I would sneak cookies and donuts when my parents weren't looking. I just am different with food. I eat when I'm happy or sad or bored or excited..

I think a lot of times overreating may be something deeper. I think it also may be the way you are programmed. My best friend is 115 lbs and all she thinks about is food- she is just better at resisting than me. She binges occasionally, but she is an athlete so she really doesn't gain much weight. She doesn't have deep psychological problems which result in bingeing. I would know- we have been best friends for 20 years!

Some people take a sip of alcohol and are never the same. They are addicted. Some people try gambling once- and can never stop. I took a bite- and I was never the same. I don't think it's anything more. I need to calorie count to keep myself in control. I don't know how much is enough.

[ravensglen3]

I think the WAY you eat can tell you a lot. If you are bingeing - or going into a frenzy while eating... I think it is the result of something deeper. Because if you really LOVE something, you take the time to ENJOY it.
If you are slowly savoring/enjoy the flavor of what you are eating... then I think you just like to eat!
hopefully that makes sense.

[LizR]

I think loving food rather than a severe psychological trauma can be the basis for over eating but you should still ask yourself why you are not happy with the balance between what you eat and what you weigh. Consider finances as a parallel. I like to buy myself luxury items but I don't have much money. I've created a balance where I buy what I need for my family living as frugally as possible, I save for the future and ever once in a while I buy the myself and the kids a treat. I'm happy with the results and feel I've done the best I can balancing what I want with what I need. For eating what I want is to eat tasty junk food all the time but the results is being overweight, not liking how I look and having health problems. So why haven't I done what I did with my finances and created a balance that I am happy with? I don't really know the answer to that but I think it is a question worth asking.

[lavenderannn]

I agonized over this most of my adult life, and in the end, I could connect a lot of my earlier emotions/reactions with the control issues of my mother. Figuring this out did not make any difference in my weight. I have to take the weight off myself and understanding why I got obese was only one side to the whole issue. It didn't become a revelation that made me suddenly turn to a healthy lifestyle because I no longer needed food.

I still had to make a decision to take the weight off, in the face of my mother continuing her control, in the face of everyday stresses, in the face of the emotional upheavals of menopause......in other words, life goes on and it's up to me whether I stuff my face with food to medicate myself or deal with it as it comes.

Now I will say, that being my age does make it somewhat easier to snap my fingers and say NO WAY am I dealing with crap. I was more sensitive and less confident when younger than I am now.

I don't think that there is always something deeper. Not in this day and age with super sizing of the portion sizes, the frequent restaurant eating, the ease of access to quick food, the enormous snacks available....we are encouraged to eat in the blink of an eye.

Back before the advent of snack foods, in order to binge, you had to do a whole lot of cooking first! lol