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Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 01-05-2010, 05:23 PM   #1
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Default Am I fighting a losing battle?

Hi everyone,

I am very depressed and disgusted with myself these past few days. In fact, I am to the point where I truly don't know where to turn or what to do. This I know...I am sick of feeling this way all the time where food and eating are a constant on my mind. I am 47 years old and I don't remember when I didn't struggle with some type of eating disorder. First it was bulimia, then I had gastric bypass, I still binge and I still hate what it is doing to me. I've been in therapy, I've prayed, I read every frickin book I know and I belon to many groups. I still sabatoge myself almost on a daily basis. And when I'm bingeing, I know exactly what I'm doing!!! I swear it's like someone is taking over me. Every single day starts out on the right track. Especially if I exercise. If I exercise I hardly ever go into a binge. If I don't excercise I can almost guarantee it!!! (Wow, I just had a light bulb moment....Maybe I need to MAKE SURE I exercise). Really, I am very sad right now and disgusted. I just needed to vent. I'm not asking for a pity party. It's way beyond that for me.
God Bless you all!
Gwen

Last edited by justbeu; 01-05-2010 at 05:24 PM.
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Old 01-05-2010, 06:13 PM   #2
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I think what you said at the end was spot on -- exercise every morning if you can! It's really tough, and we all know it. You can do it! Maybe a good start is to examine why it's happening, and how. What kinds of food do you binge on, and can you replace them with very low calorie foods like celery or something? It's hard to imagine eating too much celery!

You can do this, but you're going to have to change many years of programmed behavior. You have to want it more than you want the security blanket of food.
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Old 01-05-2010, 06:41 PM   #3
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I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Come here and post when you feel the urge to binge - maybe the support could help.
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Old 01-05-2010, 06:58 PM   #4
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First of all, you should definitely join us on the binge-free challenge. It's a weekly thread that runs from Monday through Sunday and the support on there is awesome.

Second, you need to take things one day at a time, and at the beginning you may need to take it one minute/hour at a time. Start today, though. You will be so happy that you did. Tell yourself today is Day 1 binge-free and do your best to stay binge-free just for today.

Third, it sounds as if you have already found a way to prevent binges--morning exercise. Figure out your binge triggers and find a way to stay away from them or at least manage them. Sometimes it helps to read a book, get out of the house, take a walk, etc. when the urge to binge hits. Or maybe you just need to ride out the emotions you are trying to squash with a binge. Sometimes that helps too. Regardless, you have to learn how to manage your life w/ bingeing, rather than let it manage you.

You really can do this. It may seem impossible now, but when I first started at a miserable 181 lbs I felt like it was impossible too. 3 months later and my life has changed dramatically and is still changing. I am even training for a half marathon this year. Never underestimate yourself or your own strength. You have just one life, and you never know what each day will bring, so make the most of each and every one. You deserve to be healthy and happy, and it is within your own power to achieve that.

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Old 01-05-2010, 11:07 PM   #5
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I understand. I feel that way too, often.
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Old 01-05-2010, 11:22 PM   #6
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Hello Justbeau,

I really understand where you're coming from. Just a few short months ago (September to be exact), I didn't think I could go a single day without bingeing. It's a terrible cycle because we binge to feel better and then we do it because we feel guilty...or whatever the reasons.

Here are some things that have helped me:

Counting calories. For some reason, it keeps me accountable. I chose a number I could work with and sometimes, I can stop a binge just knowing that I can have more calories still and I don't get into this perfectionist mentality. Hard to explain, so let me know if you'd like me to elaborate.

Working out. Yep, just like you, if I don't workout, it's highly likely that I'll binge or have a terrible urge to do it. Nowadays, it's not as severe so if I have to skip a workout, I'm not completely in trouble. I put my workout clothes out the night before and I put them on before I can even think about not doing it! If I really don't want to go to the gym, I force myself to go and tell myself that all I have to do is 20 minutes of an easy workout. 99% of the time, I end up doing a full hour (or more) and make it a kick butt workout that I can be proud of. It's really mind over matter so you have to find ways to trick yourself into the good habits. Once established, it will become more second nature.

I have a plan if I start to waver or feel weak. I come here and post under Binge Emergency. I try to workout. I'll even put one of my favorite songs on youtube and dance around like a crazy fool! I crochet because you can't eat and do it at the same time. I might have a cup of herbal calming tea, I might paint my nails or brush my teeth and floss or ask my husband to stop me. I haven't binged since Halloween of 2009, so that is a HUGE deal for me.

It's really SOOOO worth it. I know that when you first start, it's the hardest. Studies have shown that the brains of food addicts are the same as those of drug addicts. It's powerful, but you are more powerful! You can be in charge of your own body, but it's going to take a lot of hard work and consistency. Yes, consistency is more important than commitment, at least to me. I can promise myself the world, but if my actions aren't right, it doesn't matter what I'm determined to do...it just ain't gonna happen.

Make the decision to have one great day. Do whatever it takes and tell yourself you will be what you want to be for just one day. Then, once you do that, you will do another day and another and another until you will see that you really CAN do this and you can succeed, but it all starts with a plan. A plan of what to do and a plan of what to do when you wanna do something else entirely!
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Old 01-06-2010, 06:53 AM   #7
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Thanks everyone.....I talked with my husband this morning and I truly am feeling overwhelmed in my life. This will cause me to binge in no time!!! I know what I need to do and I have the tools to do so. I just need to take a deep breath and put my armor on!!!! I am a Christian and I know it to the depths of my soul that God does not want me to do this to myself.....Satan is laughing at me and all who suffer and I'm ready to kick his a** right on out of here!!!
Thanks for your encouraging words....
Gwen
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Old 01-06-2010, 12:15 PM   #8
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That's so great to hear Gwen! It just warms my heart that you have made this decision! Please post anytime and let us know how you're doing or if you need support with anything.
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:25 PM   #9
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I totally understand how you feel.
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:30 PM   #10
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i had a recent gain and am trying to get back on track. i've been working out the past 5 days and its helping a little but i still snack too much! i'm getting to the point where i feel like i wont be able to lose any more weight but i know that i need to so i will keep on trying! dont lose hope!
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:18 AM   #11
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I can totally relate.
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