Saef you just described so vividly exactly what I go through as well. There is a difference between my overeating and my binges. In addition to what saef wrote about the "willed mindlessness" there is also for me, at times an additional childishly defiant quality to my binges. Thinking about it now, I would say that the defiant binges tend to be triggered either by overeating or as a result of having deprived myself due to some stupid diet or another. My desperate mindless binges tend to be triggered by a general feeling of things not being right in my life.
I used to binge everytime I would eat something out of my daily "allowance" because, like some of you, I thought I blew my entire day already...
It wasnt until I started thinking mathmatically that I stopped doing it. If you have a piece of cheescake (400-500 cal) it is much easier to burn off than cheesecake (400-500 cal) AND a slice of pizza (350 cal) AND some cookies (200+ cal)... so if you stick with just the cheescake... you will have those calories burned off in no time... whereas, if you eat all the goodies, you are setting yourself up for a unnecessary difficult road ahead.... and it can all be avoided if you just let yourself have a small amount and stop.
I know, easier said than done... but it really helped me... especially when you are on exercise equipment and can say..."i have burned approx. 400 cals... that cheesecake is almost gone!!! )
I was wondering if you feel that once you go over your alloted calories or foods, do you feel like, "ok, I've blown it, so I might as well eat the house?"
YES! I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who gets those feelings. For me, it almost becomes like a cycle- I eat more than I should have, either by pure accident or because of emotions, then I feel sorry for and angry at myself, then think "Well, I already screwed up, so...I may as well feel better now and eat more". And on and on and on until I've made a waaay bigger mistake than I did in the begining.
For me it almost goes by the week, too. I guess I sort of feel like that week is a lost cause, and it's easier for me to screw up on the next day, too.
I feel a lot of guilt and shame about my binges. I did it the other night and my stomach hurt so bad when I went to bed. I obsess about the thoughts of food like some of you do and sometimes I feel completely out of control. I need to find a way to minimize these and also, eating in the middle of the night! It's really ridiculous.
I can certainly relate to all of you, as well. My all-or-nothing mentality was largely responsible for me regaining 80 lbs of the 100 lbs I lost.
It was extremely difficult for me to get over the idea that if I wasn't perfect, then it was license for me to eat 4,000 calories over maintenance instead of just dealing with the extra 300 calories of chocolate I ate. I did that for months and months. I'd wake up with good intentions, give in and have a chocolate or donut at the office (there are ALWAYS chocolates, donuts, and muffins at my office), and then spend the rest of the day eating whatever I could get my hands on, because after all, I'd already blown it, right?
It actually took getting a GoWear Fit for me to get over that idea - since it tracks the calories I burn in a day, it's confirmation that if I eat 1800 or 2000 calories instead of the 1500 I'm aiming for, it's not the end of the world and I still have a calorie deficit overall. Knowing that I still have a deficit and am heading in the right direction, despite overeating a little, has helped me a lot - it would have been nice to get a GoWear Fit before I regained 80 lbs, but unfortunately they're pretty pricey.
I completely understand!! Thats how I used to eat just in general. One I felt like I ate more then I should I just said forget it and instead of closing the chip bag Id just dive in and finish it off!
I did this tonight at dinner. My bf took me to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. I had planned to eat over my calories today, as a one time thing. But as the meal went on I kept rationalizing and eating even more to the point that I am now uncomfortable and miserable. I'm feeling very angry with myself, on what should be a happy day.
Now my talk is to wake up in the morning and go on like it didn't happen, or else I will end up doing this for the rest of the week!
Also, I must add the I haven't been especially diligent about writing down my intake the past 2 days. And I'm fairly sure that if I had seen the number written down on a piece of paper before I walked into that cafe, I would stopped eating sooner. Gotta chalk it up to a learning experience and move on!
I think they are two different things, but there's a very thin line that is easy to tip over from overeating into a binge. It also depends on where I am. Over eating a little bit at a restaurant does not turn into a binge for me. Binge habits tend to be private, at home occurrences. Binge eating also tends to result from cooking something I absolutely love. I cook extra proportions for family or for lunch the following day, and sometimes it doesn't make it through the night. Other times I'll have a crazy craving for something sweet... then something salty.. then something sweet... until my stomach hurts. It's only happened once though in the last two months, but I still remember how awful and sick I felt afterwards.
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I did this tonight at dinner. My bf took me to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. I had planned to eat over my calories today, as a one time thing. But as the meal went on I kept rationalizing and eating even more to the point that I am now uncomfortable and miserable. I'm feeling very angry with myself, on what should be a happy day. 