Ugh, I feel so gross. I weigh weekly, and this week I gained 3.2 lbs. I weigh over 190 lbs - again. I am so upset. I know part of the weight gain was from "that time of the month", started my period the very next day, however, I have abandoned my plan (low carb), I feel terrible and I am very scared that I will start gaining again if I don't get in control of this. I had a piece of cake yesterday at work, and chips and none of that is what I do as a general rule, and this has been going on for the better part of two weeks, eating chocolate and carbs in general. Tonight we ordered pizza for dinner and I ate like a pig, and truthfully, it wasn't that good. I ate a ton of cookies and you know what, they weren't that good, tasted like cardboard and I just kept shoving them down. Why????
I also hurt my knee and was in terrible pain all of this past week and I did not work out, walk or attend my water aerobics classes, which I do usually twice a week. I feel sluggish and disgusting, and my knee hurts so badly. I have been consuming wheat products and guess what? I am fairly certain I am gluten intolerant and I have a horrible belly ache on top of it all.
I feel like hiding. My stomach is swollen with gas, I feel awful and I am just plain scared that I will not be able to continue. I had hoped to lose another 20 lbs by the end of this year, and I lose so slowly, and to have this gain has really, really upset me. I feel like such a failure. I am irritable and hateful. I wish I could just hide from the world. Like the whole world can see my 3.2 (probably more after today's carb foray) lbs and are going to get a big kick out of my pain. I just can't believe I gained that much in one week. I know it is my fault, generally, not just water weight.
Sometimes I just get scared, and overwhelmed and I just don't stay on track. I have lost 46 lbs (not counting the 3.2 of it I gained back) and I just want to finish losing this weight and continue with my life. I guess between PMS, work, expensive home repairs and the knee injury, I let it all get to me and went back to some old bad habits. Thanks for reading.
It doesn't matter so much that you have slipped...it's what you do afterward that is going to count. Recommit and rededicate yourself to getting right back to it. It is SO SO SO hard, I know because I have been right where you are so many times, feeling exactly as you do right now. In fact, I also had a binge tonight and feel it as well, but I know it's not that I fell that matters..it's picking myself back up and not letting it beat me that counts.
You KNOW you are going to do this eventually, so here's the question: do you want to restart right now with over 40 pounds successfully off, or do you want to wait and regain that all back then have to start completely over in the future?
It's better to pick yourself up now and not let it get that far. YOU CAN DO THIS! I think what scared me most in your post was the sense of "I have ruined it now, why keep trying?" That is so dangerous! Focus on those 40 something pounds you have kept off and get determined not to regain anymore of them!
think about it....even if you may not make that next 20 pounds by the end of the year, would you rather January 2010 come and be where you are right now or a bit further along, or do you want it to come and you have quit and gained it all back and lost nothing or very little?
Don't focus just on that 20 more pound goal...give yourself huge credit for what you have already done and carry on. You will likely relose this 3 pounds very fast and may still make your goal. But, you can't make that goal if you give up.
DON"T GIVE UP!!!!!!
Whew, this has been therapeutic for me as well. I needed my own words tonight I guess you can do this. Pick yourself up, recommit, and get going again.
Sounds like you had a rough time. But don't despair! The rest of your life is still happening. Get back on the wagon this very instant!!
I had a binge tonight for the first time in a very long while. I will join you right now. No more food tonigt. Tea or water or nothing. Walk away from all things kitchen or snack areas. I am in my bedroom upstairs- needed a separate floor!
You can do this!!! Hugs
Thanks for your kind replies. I re-committed to my low carb program and I am feeling much, much better. My stomach still hurts, but that will probably take a few more days to settle down. My knee feels better, too, to the point where I am going to try to take a 10 minute walk this a.m. just to get things moving. I will go to water aerobics tonight and see how that works out.
I just got so scared and I am back to my plan again and feeling much more in control. Thank you for your replies and for "talking me down from the tree" -
Skinny Jeans - you got my attention asking me if I wanted to face January with a large gain or a small loss, and I definitely want the small loss! I will try for the 20 lbs by the end of the year, but I will happily accept 5-10 because I know it will be a permanent loss for me.
Check out the Gluten Free Goddess's blog (google it). She started out with a lot of super yummy gluten free recipes but has recently moved on to a completely carb free menu. Her ideas are fresh and gooood. She even has some comfort foods on there and great tips about eating gluten free. I have 6 people in my life that are gluten intolerant so I've learned a lot about the lifestyle. It sounds to me like you do have at least a little bit of gluten intolerance. This tends to flair if you've been away from carbs only to return with a lot of stomach issues.
You've lost 46 lbs! That's fantastic and amazing. You can get back on track. And you're right, it's probably a lot of water weight, which only matters in our heads!
I know that I could never do low carb, I love them too much. Instead I calorie count, and so I can eat what I want as long as it fits. (Well, not whatever I want...) I choose whole wheat pasta for example, then I don't go binge crazy.
Try to pay attention to the big picture...If you didn't stumble and fall sometimes, you would never appresciate the joy of victory!! I WISH all I'd gained back was 3.2. I'm working on gaining back between 15-20 of the 30-35 I lost last year! I hate myself sometimes!! And the stress of life makes it sooooo hard to stay with it. I get negative alot. But I want to remember that I'm more that just my weight. Most days, that talk with myself doesn't help though.
You will get back on track! Stay focused! And congrats on your weight loss!!
Thanks for all you support! I went back low carb again and am feeling much, much better. I weighed yesterday (I weigh with two other friends) which was early. We normally weigh on Thursdays. I went from 190.2 last week to 186.6 this week, so it was mostly water. I am only up 4/10 of a pound from three weeks ago, so that isn't too bad.
I went to my water aerobics class and my knee hurt but not too badly. I will try to stay on plan now. I feel so much better, even my stomach is almost back to normal!
Thanks for your support and kindness! Nailrep, you can do this, keep going!
I noticed you said you wanted to finish losing the weight and continue with your life. I feel the same way sometimes, like I am in this rut and I cant get out of it. My husband told me last week some good advice on how to see it though. He said I should start thinking that I am building healthy lifestyle skills through a diet, not that this is just an annoying phase. All the books I have read have mentioned that successful weight loss comes and remains from a change in lifestyle and how we see food. You may want to reevaluate your diet and make sure you are being satisfied.
I hope this helps. Good luck in your diet and you have already lost 46... Keep going!
Rant About Binge
you can do this. Pick yourself up, recommit, and get going again.
