[maryellenatl]

Hi guys,
I am new here, lurked for a while but I was really touched by the last post about being afraid of giving up junk food. I loved what Kira said. I feel so out of control today. I got up this morning and was so miserable and all I wanted was donuts. I am not normally a donut girl. I craved sugar so bad.

I started WW in Jan. lost 18 lbs quit in April and started again last week. I had gained 8 lbs back. I lost four the first week. Now I know i gained those four back after the weeeknd. Kira, if you told me I had to quit sugar or get diabetes, I dont know if I wouldn't say id rather die happy. Thats pretty pathetic but its the way I feel today. I am mad that I have to be this way.

I don't want to have to think about what I eat constantly, I want to live in the same la la land where I eat what I want and food numbs me to the unhappiness and boredom of life...The constant planning and counting sucks! I am sorry to be so negative, I am such a normally positive person, but I needed to talk to some people this morning and this forum is where I landed after a year of watching.

Thanks for the opportunity to let it all out and I appreciate you all for your inspiration..

Mary Ellen

[UniquelyNormal]

Forbidden foods for me are the worst. As soon as I decide I'm going to give something up I want it, need it, CRAVE it. You just have to keep going. Keep picking yourself up. You will have long term success among the minor setbacks.

[kiramira]

Morning, hon!!!

FIRST

Second; hunker down for a long post!

I so totally get where you are coming from -- you feel helpless, and hopeless and bored and stuck, and ya gotta have SOMETHING to distract you, that tastes good, that makes you feel better, just for a little while. Until you "come to", and feel so horrible that you made a bad food choice and then you get mad and frustrated, and overwhelmed and helpless and hopeless and then it is back to the food again...

I UNDERSTAND...and you aren't pathetic! Are you KIDDING??? We ALL have felt that way at some point. Seriously, girl!!! And the constant thinking and planning and obsessing is sometimes counterproductive -- I mean, if we binge, we think about food, right? And if we DIET, we think about food????

We all want to live in the magical land where we eat what we wanna eat when we wanna eat without consequence. Unfortunately, I don't have a map to that land! I have to live HERE, and I KNOW that I can't behave like I live in that magical land because unfortunately, my A$$ accounts for it!!!

OK, so what to do? Well, hon, you HAVE options...you need to recognize that WW is fairly food-obsessive intense. Which means, you gotta plan, research, shop, chop, prepare, weigh, measure. Which works for alot of people, but not for everyone. I went through a big period like that and found that there are other ways to manage food while STILL staying with the WW principles. The first key for ME was to come up with a few simple rules of eating that worked. It is easier sometimes to stick with the rules than to have to sort out the choices, because too many choices can be overwhelming and THAT makes me feel out of control.

My first food rules were this: JUST for ONE MONTH -- 30 days -- I said:

1. No chips, no dip, no chocolate, no soda of any kind.
2. No cake, no donuts, no baked desserts.
3. VEGGIES with EVERY dinner, at least half the plate.

That's IT. Notice that I didn't rule out anything SWEET and it wasn't FOREVER. Just for 30 days. And if I wanted to eat something sweet I could have a peach or an apple or a sugar-free yogort which at LEAST gave me great nutrition! Your rules may be totally different, but SOME sort of "NO" actually works. If you rule out foods to start with, and say "I can have it later", you might feel that you have more control in your life, and that has a positive effect EVERYWHERES ELSE. You may feel "I have these rules. I HAVE to say NO, just for now. And I will DO it!" and it is empowering...

The second basic thing was PORTION CONTROL. As aggravating as it was, I HAD to control the amount of food I ate, so I decided to weigh and measure everything.

The third basic thing that was SO important was to SIMPLY and CLEAN UP MY ENVIRONMENT. I threw out the tempations. And I really, really got down to basics, just for the first couple of months. I made simple, simple foods. Breakfast -- egg, toast coffee. Easy to control portions. Easy to count. Lunch -- salad, fat free dressing, melba toast, cheese, fruit. Easy to count, easy to portion. Dinner -- grilled fish/chicken/beef, cooked veggies, couscous, fruit. Easy to count, easy to portion.

I still follow this today -- I have 3 standard breakfasts -- egg/cheese/english muffin, coffee. OR scrambled eggs/toast, coffee. OR boiled egg/toast, coffee. I don't have anything else. I know the points count. I have a choice. It fills me us. I don't even have to think.
Lunch -- melba toast, cheese, fruit. OR 1 slice bread, 2 oz ham, mustard, fruit. OR soup, fruit. I know the points count. I have a choice. I don't think.
Dinners are NOW more flexible, but it took a LONG time to get there.

The last basic thing was to find something that made me feel good to do, and do it whenever I felt like I needed the "food fix". For me that was a combo of things. I had to get out of my food thought rut and do a crossword puzzle because then my mind was pre-occupied with something else. Knitting () also worked -- my hands were busy with something other than food! If I was still obsessing, I would get out of the house and go for a drive or a walk. IF I was STILL obessing, I've have a tea and if it was in the evening, I'd literally go to bed. I still do this. I have hungry days and some nights, I take a bath and go to bed early. Cause there's only SO MUCH a person can take!!!! And things look better in the morning.

You know, you gotta stop beating yourself up over this. You gotta keep in mind that in the grand scheme of things, you are really, well, OK! You haven't killed anyone. You aren't going to jail for drunk driving. You haven't stolen anything. You JUST have a LITTLE EXTRA PADDING. That's IT. That's ALL. It isn't permanent. You CAN change it. It IS possible. You HAVE the power. But at the end of the day, you JUST are a little rounder than some others...so give yourself a hug. Treat yourself kindly, like you would treat a friend, and just BREATHE. It'll be OK...honest...

pm any time, hon!



Kira

[maryellenatl]

Kira, I love you!! Your post was like an e-hug that I needed so much this morning. I agree with so much of what you said. I know I make things so much harder than they need to be and beat myself up so much..

I like your idea of knowing exactly what choices you have, I too tend to eat the same things, plus i am not good at eating healthy. So maybe the consistency in eating the same thing would be one good thing to work on.

All I know is I am not giving up. I am going to pick my self up and start over and be grateful for others who understand.

[kiramira]

Hon, seriously, PM me ANY TIME! You aren't alone in this, and we can do this together. I'm totally confident in you.

Kira

[Windchime]

Originally Posted by maryellenatl

Kira, if you told me I had to quit sugar or get diabetes, I dont know if I wouldn't say id rather die happy. Thats pretty pathetic but its the way I feel today. I am mad that I have to be this way.

Kira's post was spot-on. I did what she did, too--at first, I just made a few rules that I could follow, and didn't apply the "forever" label to them because that was too much to bear.

But please also think about this--are the donuts truly making you happy? Because you don't sound happy when you talk about eating them or how you feel after you eat them. I think that sometimes we fear giving that kind of stuff up, even though we know intellectually that the momentary pleasure we get from them is NOT really worth the cost of how they make us feel in terms of being out-of-control or how our jeans fit.

You can do this, you really, really can. Whenever I feel sad or upset or like it's not worth it, I go to the Goal section and read peoples' stories and look at pictures. It really helps me to realize that they, too, felt like it was a big hill to climb but they did it. And if they can, we can, too. We really can!

[maryellenatl]

Thanks so much, I appreciate that and I did exactly what you said earlier, I was looking at peoples photo progress and I also set up a ticker. I need to commit to getting more involved here to give myself another outlet.


You are right, I can do it, I just have to keep trying and not give up.

Thanks again Windchime and Kira
Mary Ellen

[Jensaloser]

I hate to sound morbid, but dieing happy is probably completely impossible once you are at an age where you have children and grandchildren. I couldn't stand watching my children and granddaughter watch me die. That would be the most excruciating pain imaginable and that comes after having to tell my children their father passed.

When these impulsive thoughts come to you I suggest you journal. Write down why you feel this way and the alternative to living in la la land. I know how good I thought that world was but now that I have finally broken free I am happier than I have ever been. Being numb is dangerous, very very dangerous.

Be alive, be aware, be sad so that you can be happy!! You can do this, but you have to hit rock bottom and you may not be there yet. Seriously, do some soul searching as to what other gifts on this earth will make you happy besides self medicating with food.

I wish you all the blessings in the world and I know you can do this.

-Jen

~I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in God and I am not lucky I am blessed!~

[maryellenatl]

Hi Forum,
I just wanted to say thanks for the support. I am going to start checking here daily. Kira I tried to respond to your PM this morning but I still have to send 3 more posts before I can receive messages. I will do that today.

Have a great day everyone.

Mary Ellen

[Windchime]

I'm glad you're feeling better today, Mary Ellen! I've been on my new lifestyle eating plan since January and I still spend at least an hour a day here on 3FC. I think it's a really helpful thing, for me to spend time around other chicks who are on the same journey. Have a good day!

[kiramira]

MORNING!!! Have an awesome day, Missy MISS...no matter what!

Kira