I'm not new to 3FC (I post on the LA Weightloss topic), but I am new to this one. I have always dealt with compulsive overeating. When I was in high school, I'd hide food in the house until everyone was asleep and then I'd eat until I thought I might explode. Sometimes this brought me to the point of being so nauseous I could only lie in bed until some of the food digested... and I'd go back for more!
And the foods I chose were only the worst kind: whole bags of chips, whole packages of pre-mixed cookie dough, whole boxes of cereal. I felt as if I hadn't done my job unless the package was empty.
This past Spring, I had some disturbing health problems for my age (I was 22). I began having gallbladder pain attacks, which went undiagnosed until four months (and a change in doctors) later. I had to have it removed. When it came out, it was so full of stones, most of the doctors who attended me had never seen so many. I am convinced that my lifestyle contributed to this, since the gallbladder serves as a reservoir for bile, which breaks down fats in the food you ingest. I knew something had to give.
I started seeing a psychiatrist for this problem, as well as general depression. It had become impossible for me to get out of bed and to class during the day. My grades dropped. I began to rely on the pain meds they gave me for my surgery to go to sleep at night. He put me on a regimen of talk therapy and Prozac.
It was only through this regimen that I was able to take control (somewhat) of my eating, join a weightloss center, and learn to cope with daily life. I am convinced that my binging was related to a chemical imbalance.
I still binge occasionally, but it has been months since I purposely bought large quantities of food and consumed them the same night. Instead of binging every day, I now occasionally slip up every month or so. These are strategies I believe are helping me through this:
1) I stay very, very busy. I am a grad student, so I have school from 8-12, then work full time from 1-9pm. I do not have as much time to "listen" to the food calling to me in the fridge.
2) I bring only what I should eat to work with me. I do not bring money for the vending machines or to order out. I try to make it impossible for me to buy additional food. For emergencies, I have my credit/debit card.
3) I make grocery lists and budget a certain amount of money for the grocery store. I do not bring snacks into the house (unless they are "approved" by my program, like fruit), and I ask my boyfriend not to do the same. He is very good with this.
4) LAWL has supplemental candy bars with its plan. I do not buy more than I will be able to eat for the week at a time. I know that if I have a large supply (they are chocolate), I will eat them all at once, which I have done on occasion.
This is working so far, but whenever I have time at home when I am not SUPER busy, I will start to eat again. Someday I hope to control my eating without these rules. It is my hope that when I am happy with the way my body looks, I will not binge out of depression anymore.
Out of the options in this poll, I think the best one to describe my problem is a chemical imbalance. Once I began to treat the imbalance that created my depression, things got a little easier.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with me...I am trying to gain some insight into my own issues and I just can't seem to wrap my head around it....also this is something that most people don't talk about....so I just am trying to understand
Thanks for your honesty...hopefully more people will participate.
I've been overweight since I was 8 years old. I think alot had to do with me being the youngest of 7 kids. I really didn't get any attention from my mom and dad because they both worked like animals. My brothers and sisters were all older and didn't have time for me either (so it seemed).
The only comfort I found was eating (this is true for my sister who's next to my age). When I had a problem or was happy or sad, I wouldn't go to my parents or sibilings and talk because they always seemed to be to busy...or just not there....I would find the closest thing to eat and start shoveling away - it felt good to me, too good.... it then became a habit I am still struggling with today. Please don't think I hold this against my parents, they did the best they could and I love them dearly ... Kids just react differently to different situations.
About 15 years ago I lost 150 lbs... I Kept it off over 10 years.. In 1998 my eldest sister died suddenly. That was it for me... I was and still am so incrediably devistated that I started shoveling the food back in to surpress my feelings... Whaaaaaaaalaaah !! I have so far gained back 80 lbs.... You know the rest from my daily's on the boards.
So thats it Girlie !!! My story in a nutshell....
Huggs and Kisses to you, and if you wanna talk, please let me know... I'm here for you and I'll listen.
can't trace mine back to anything one thing, but...
I use food to calm me down, stuff down pain, soothe me, comfort me, be my friend, listen to me... etc. I do pretty well fighting these urges most of the time, but they are always there.. lurking.
I go along with X in that "whole" things seem to be a big deal with me.. finishing a package a box, a row.. just finishing. No clue why that is.
I use food to avoid relationships with people that would calm me down,help me with my pain, comfort me, be my friend and listen to me. I guess there must have been one too many hurts along the way and I built a wall. It is so big, that no one can get in.. and I can't get out.
I'm ITALIAN....!!!!!!!!!!!!! That should say it all!!!!!
Oh and you know that STUPID rule most parents used to have..."No dessert unless you finish your dinner"...well, I loved desset sooooooooooooooooo. And in my house, everything was served family style, "if you put it in your plate, you'd better eat it"! "Do you know how many people are starving"?
Well, needless to say, I always fought the battle of the bulge. As a teenager I took things into my own hands and got the food thing pretty much in control. Never thin, but was a size 10/12 right up until I went through menopause (at 35). Within the next 15 years I managed to put on 65 pounds!
Now I have thought about this for a long time and what I come up with (in my personal life) is hormonal changes= depression, menopause symptoms i.e. hot flashes, panic attacks, sexual changes = depression, oh and a biggy for me was the "empty nest syndrome" that = BIG time depression for me.
So in conclussion...I was brought up in an enviroment where food was the answer for everything. Heck, you couldn't visit for 10 minutes with my grandmother without her shoving something down your throat (usually very yummy ) She even packed lunches if we were going to be riding in the car for more than a half hour!!!!!!!
So when MENOPAUSE MADE CRAZY, I guess I just resorted to all the things I did that made me feel comfortable and safe. EATING and COOKING to make people happy was the cure for everything and our family motto!!
That's it...now I am trying to handle my emotions with other things, like staying busy, exercise, and just really wanting to look and fell better so I can enjoy all those grandchildren my 4 children are going to give me.
God Bless Us All and give us the strengh and motivation to accomplish the things we are striving for.
Meg, your family sounds like mine, we couldn't get in the car for an hour w/out Mom packing food... She watches my little girl during the day and when I pick her up at night she insists on me taking a bottle of milk for her on the way home which is only 20 minutes away
It seems that, to our mother's, food was a form of showing love. Your know...nurturing. Also, remember that, in their day, travel was less convenient than now. People usually packed some food to take along just in case of delays.
I'm still thinking through what food means to me and where this all comes form.
I have it all figured out. I started to get all twisted about food when I had my first baby and went back to work. It's only gone downhill since I had my second. Two small kids, work, a needy husband as well, and a messy house. These are the reasons I overeat. And I let them get to me.
I have so many stresses in my life, to be the perfect mom, teacher, wife, daughter, homemaker, everything...but I'm working on it now. I'm realizing I don't have to be perfect. I am how I am, and that's all I can do. Food is used as my comfort for a long, hard day. Something to look foward to and enjoy. There's only a handful of things I have time for, just for me, that makes me feel good. I'm working on finding a substitute for food. There's got to be something out there!
Twisted? hmmm...I guess I am a bit twisted, but aside from that don't you think it's normal for us to want to be comforted by food really? The first love of our lives is Mommy. I wasn't overweight as a child, but notice that every kid is comforted by food regardless. We all want that warm fuzzy that we had when we were kids. I think some of us are just more sensitive souls. I remember a line from either a movie or television show...."people who deal with depression are just extreme empathetics". I feel everything around me. I guess they also call it hypersensitivity. Gosh, I know that my food issues come from a multitude of things. Both my parents had food issues...mom used food to stuff emotions, dad was obsessive and swayed from eating too little to bingeing and over exercising. I had numerous abusive situations from childhood til late teens. I became a single mom when I was a teen. Became anorexic/bulimic. And now I have fibromyalgia. But don't we all have our stories? I keep tellin myself, "hey, atleast I didn't turn out to be a serial killer! I just have issues with food!" Regardless, I know that it will be a daily struggle for the rest of my life. Some days will be easier and some I'll be lucky to survive, but I'm still here and I'm still chuggin' up that hill whether I'm a size 6 or a size 18. So, what was that question again? How did I get twisted about food in the first place? Heck if I know! hehehe
Location: Australia, the beautiful Illawarra near the coast
Posts: 44
And the beat goes on...
I think that I've always been this way I just didn't know it. I had my share of family dramas in the past which certainly didn't help but now I think it has become a comforting and self destructive habit.
I will always have to watch it and I feel I will continue to have varying degress of success as my life goes forward. But now I am aware that food is not my friend, will not make me feel better (long term) and will just increase my butt really, when you get right down to it. Food is only fuel, and as I used to post, if you put too much fuel into your car it spills out on your shoes. If I put too much fuel into myself I can't see my shoes 'cause it's spilling out of my pants. We have the power within us to take back the power we have given our binging!
What caused you to get twisted about food in the first place?
thanks Mom 
And the beat goes on...
