I've lost 20 pounds, and still have 36 to loose.
After 36 I'll still be overweight but it's my target weight, I don't plan to go below that, if my body will do it by itself ok but I'm not pushing below the 154 pounds. I hit the 20 pounds lost this weekend, I see, with my eyes I see I lost weight, that my legs are smalles, that my old jeans are too loose to walk, that my just two months old jeans are loose too, and that I fit in a pair of jeans I couldn't get in even squeezing, but I don't believe it.
I'm at the lowest weight I've been since I can remember because while getting fat I didn't weight at all, feard scales. I see I lost weight, but I don't believe it. I still think one day I'll wake up and fit into my old jeans, maybe they'll be tight too, who knows.
My counsellor said I still see myself as I was, that's very possible, but I don't know what to do really. I overate this weekend, I wasn't feasting for the weight loss, I was just out of control, frustrated. But frustrated with what? I should have been happy and I was frustrated? Because I don't believe it's true? When a scale and a pair of loose jeans agree I lost weight I still get myself frustrated because I don't believe it?
Just feel like my weight loss is an illusion and tomorrow morning I'll wake up fat as I've always been.
It does take a long time for our minds to catch up with our bodies when we lose weight. And for those of us for whom being fat has been who we are for all of our lives, it can take even longer.
I get where you're coming from. I've lost almost 60 lbs, but I've always been overweight, I've never lost more than 20 lbs before this, I've only ever gained. And I guess since I'm so much heavier it's harder to notice the physical changes. I notice small things like my double chin diminishing and dimples in my stomach, but not much more than that. And I'd never taken pictures of myself before hand so I don't have that to go off of.
I do feel like it's not true sometimes, but I just know that all of these things combined - the scale going down, the clothes fitting, how much easier it's getting to exercise, etc. - they can't be coincidences. There are too many things that have changed for it to not be true.
Your counselor hit the nail on the head. I'd never thought of it like that before but it makes sense. Even after losing weight you'll still be the same person with the same memories and experiences, it's hard to see the outer you as different, no matter how different it is.
You just have to realize it: you have lost 20lbs. And all of those things you mentioned are just some of the things that have changed, your body is working differently now without those 20lbs, and even though you don't feel it, it's true. Try not to dwell on it too much. Even if you don't feel it now, once you keep going along the way you'll find more and more things that will prove to you that you've lost weight.
Good luck with the next 36 lbs! Just think of how amazing it'll feel once you're there.
Last edited by fenderella5678; 04-20-2009 at 03:17 AM.
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I've been slim for a few years now and even though I don't feel fat I definitely don't see myself as I am. Partly because I also had an ED and have been underweight as well as fat - a small part of my brain can't equate my now-normal bodyweight with being slim. Here's a tip - have a friend take a full body picture of you. This happened to me by accident when I went out last weekend. I didn't know she was taking my picture so I wasn't being self conscious and when I saw it I was like 'OMg...I'm slim!'
Last edited by Me23; 04-20-2009 at 05:52 AM.
Reason: typo
i'm 5'8 and tetter between 125-129 lbs. I still look at myself and think I need to lose another 10lbs to be slim. Everyone around me says I'm skinny and my parents say I could probably afford to gain a few. But, I see myself in the mirror and in pictures and wonder why the heck is everyone bs-ing me? I've been a bit depressed the last few days because im leaning toward 129 the past couple weeks and found that I am getting upset with people who say I'm skinny. I just want to yell "stop lying to me!!!!"
So, I definitely know where you're coming from. I think I just have that image of me at my heaviest still imprinted in my head.. and I'll always see that image in the mirror.
I'm signing up for a kickboxing class tonight at an actual boxing gym. I'm hoping that this will help tone me up, keep me motivated and release some frustration that just brews inside me.
Tater, I completely agree with what you are saying. I feel exactly the same as you do. I have feel like I could lose another 20 pounds. I am 135 now. My hubby took a pic of my butt this weekend without me knowing he did. Later he blew it up on the computer and said--LOOK, it's thin! I didn't see thin. Yes, much better than before but not thin.
Rainy, right now as I type this I just finished a bowl of vegetable soup with crabmeat in it. I know it was 250 calories total. Because I feel so full I do have that fear that the weight is coming back. That is one reason I weigh every single morning even if I know the news won't be good. I would rather know at 2 pounds than at 20 pounds!!!
It definitely DOES take some time to wrap your mind around a new body. I guess I would just feel "safer" a few pounds further down.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 04-20-2009 at 04:00 PM.
I can totally relate. I have lost 85lb (so far), and at times feel like I am still that size 24 I was just last year. In reality I am a size 16, but I will probably always feel like that extremly over weight size 24 woman I was for nearly my entire life. I doubt that feeling will ever go away.
I think it takes more time than that to adjust. I know at 20 pounds down, I could sometimes see it, sometimes not. It's been a year since I started, and quite a few months of losing very slowly (giving my mind time to catch up) and I think I have a much more realistic image of my body now. I think it just takes the mind a while to adjust.
I have failed so many times in the past, this is the longest i've ever stayed on track, and the largest amount of weight I have ever lost.
Every single day, I look in the mirror, I get on the scale, and ask myself "is this really happening!?". I still can't believe it. Everyday I am in disbelief. It's like why would I be so lucky to have it actually work this time. I'm just waiting for somthing to go wrong.
But until then, I'm going to keep my mind right, stay on track, and it's no longer "IF I LOSE 100lb". I am so close to saying "I have lost 100lb". I WILL GET THERE! It just takes time
EDIT: I just realized I already replied to this thread, sorry.
Ever feel like it's not true?
