I can't believe that I have to admit this to myself...again...but last night was one of the worst binges I've had in a while...ugh...The day had started well...I even found time to exercise...but then in the late afternoon, (the worst time for me), that disembodied voice telling me to eat struck, and I listened
Last night, I felt like I am just never going to conquer this and it makes me feel so defeated Why can't I do this?
I also now carry the guilt of bringing the family somewhat down on Christmas Eve...they don't know what's wrong, just that mom is not her usual self...
Well, I was up most of the night...I always have trouble sleeping after, and so I got on the treadmill at 5:45, and did some weights...Now its off to church...I don't want to spoil the day, but I just don't see light at the end of this tunnel....
Hey hope everybody had a great christmas Veggie I've felt like that all week, and its horrible, but xmas is a time to just be happy around your family and those you love. You dont need to be your ideal weight or perfect around these people, they love you no matter what - so dont let it take that away from you! Chin up
My healthy eating plan isn't much of a plan right now. This is absolutely the only time of year I'd have chocolate & wine fore breakfast. (And I'm loving every moment of it)
Thanks Lauren....I am better today...yesterday was quite nice, and I settled back into normal eating patterns easily...Onward and upward, right? or should I say onward and downward
The one thing I wish I could understand is why some days everythings fine, and other days...you know when you wake up sometimes....that the binge monster is on the horizon...For me, its not really about my weight anymore, its more about eating like a normal person...whoever that is...
Definite chocolate binge.
Even tho they know I have been losing weight and eating healthy, many people gave me chocolate this Christmas, and its almost gone.
Add to that, I feel really crummy. Have a cold, and had very little sleep for Christmas, was on call, and had a delivery just after midnight, got home at 4, slept 4 hours, then started Christmas celebrations, went to bed early at ten, but got called out to a delivery at 1130. Got home at 2 (thank goodness both were quick) but was up and down all night, with sore throat. Today (BOxing day) has been tea and chocolate all day. Very little real food.
Christmas itself was great, with family here, everyone having fun, the food went great, and while I did eat well, I didn't really overeat or overdo.
I think its the cold and lack of sleep has eroded my normal eating.
OK, time to stop this in its tracks. Start a new day tomorrow.
I haven't binged for 2 days. I know that might not sound like much but for me it is a big deal. I am trying really really hard to get my mind off food and not binge. I find that if I don't have sweets in the house it helps a lot since that is mainly what I binge on. I have been having really bad withdrawls though and crave sugar so much that sometimes it is all I can think about. It really is an addiction.
Yes, time to get the sweet stuff out of the house now. I didn't binge on the chocolate, but did snack on it. With this cold I am all stuffed up and am not really tasting much, so the calories are really wasted.
I will put things in the freezer until Friday nights party. This is a yearly party my husband and I have hosted for over 20 years. A lot of the people coming are amateur musicians so I will plan to avoid over eating by playing fiddle and piano thru the night.
Not so sure about avoiding binges on new years eve.
ack
Why can't I do this?
