Hi all,
I just wanted to rant a little about something. I'm not giving about about someone. I'm just fed up.
So here's the thing. I am a first year in college. And it's my first time living away from home. Dealing with that is hard enough on it's own. I wouldn't say I'm exactly home sick but I don't have any close relationships yet, it's only been 2 months. But I am so used to really close relationships, they're where I get my strenght from and I just feel like there is a hole in me. It's really pathetic but I miss hugs. I love hugs and I'm not really there with anyone yet and it's upsetting. My house mates are fine but I don't see them often. I may as well be living alone really.
Anyway not really the point of my post. The thing is my house mates go home at the weekend, I live to far away to do that, and my friends from college are busy with their own lives and thats fair enough I can't exactly barge in on that. But I'm literaly alone from friday till monday. I literally sit in the house all weekend because I have nowhere to go and no one to see. That's where it all goes bottoms up. I don't binge but I pick at food all day. My diet goes out the window, I don't drink water, I don't exercise. I don't know what to do.
So I need some advice, because there is literally no one else for me to ask
I get you Maddie. I am many years from that situation, but lived it in my youth. The thing is, what I will suggest will be hard. I am thinking you are a bit shy with new people, though you are fine with your own friends.
But if your college is anything like mine was, there is a lot happening on weekends, but not as organized as during the week.
First off, during the day, get to the college library. Take the opportunity to research, study, anything like that. Then, if there are campus coffee or tea shops, check them out from time to time. Are there some events that you would be comfortable going to alone, instead of with a friend or group?
Like a movie or play, but maybe not a pub night or dance.
DOes your college have a fitness centre/pool? are there weekend classes or can you just go for a workout?
Overtime, these are good opportunities to meet new friends. Also, talk to some of the women from your classes and see what they are up to for the weekend, if anyone has anything up, invite someone to a movie or play.
Its hard to make new friends, but remember, most of the other people there are in the same boat as you are, and are looking for friends too.
:-( I can't say I know what you are going threw, because I've never been there. But your story made me sad... I can see how that would lead to picking at food all day. Do you have any hobbies you could take up? Do you go to the gym?
Been there! I'll tell you what I did, and made a life time friend in the process. There was a guy, (he was gay actually...he didn't tell me at first, I could just tell). He lived along way from home and casually talked about it a few times in a class we had together. One Saturday morning I went to his dorm, knocked on his door and asked him if he wanted to hang out and study. We became fast friends, and there was no worry of any "emotional" baggage. He liked to hug too...LOL Anyway, he introduced me to a few of his friends, and I introduced him to my room mate...and before you know it we all had a pretty good sized group of friends. On a bad note, this male friend came from a very wealthy family and he always had lots of money when the rest of us were broke...he bought me LOTS of beer and pizza...not good!
y friends from college are busy with their own lives and thats fair enough I can't exactly barge in on that.
Maddie, I wonder what's making you think that doing something with a new acquaintance would be "barging in" on their lives. That's all part of making friends ... is starting to do things together outside of school/work.
Why not ask one of these people if they want to do something together. That's the first step. Approach one of them and ask if they want to go see a movie on Saturday night or if they'd like to brunch with you on Sunday. Or even be honest with them - approach one of them and say "You know I've been here two months now and I find myself sitting home on the weekends. I know you're from here - can you give me ideas of places to go and things to do on the weekends? Would you like to just hang out on Saturday?"
Also part of it is that you need ot just DO things. You say you sit at home all weekend and don't exercise - so CHANGE THAT. Get up on Saturday morning and go for a walk in the park. Or join a gym and go there.
Get out and go wander the market - even if you don't buy anything, just go and look.
Are there any groups there at school that you can join? Any sporting groups or social groups or book groups? Anything that interests you? I know here in the States there are always some kind of extra curricular groups forming. Or even if there's a student union center you can hang out at.
The thing is, you have to get out of your house on the weekends ... and you have to approach people.
I just finished college and may and I know the position you are in. The best thing you can do is put yourself out there. My saving grace was joining the fencing and drama clubs at my school. If you can find clubs that reflect your interests you will have an immediate network of people. Other great things are working as an RA on campus or getting an on campus job. Colleges offer the most incredible social network...take advantage of it! Just keep a good attitude and you will be fine. *hugs* hang in there, freshman year is always the hardest.
I hate monday mornings, we have a group descussion class and she makes me talk about our weekends. I'm almost planning on making something up now because all I ever say is "I sat at home alone all weekend, I didn't go anywhere but the shop, I didn't talk to anyone but the person in the shop" It's begining to look pathetic.
But I have decided I need to make my own plans for the weekend so I'm signing up to volunteer with the guide dog society. Training puppies, what could be cuter. Also going to make myself go for walks saturday and sunday....couldn't hurt?!
As for the college, none of the stuff they do happens at the weekends so it's pretty much up to me what I do. I wish they did do more but it would be pointless cause everyone goes home at the weekends or is busy. But I'm gonna keep an eye out for other stuff that I can do. I really want to start running but I'm self conscious about it but I might start doing the couch to 5k thing at the weekends/weekday nights.
So I'm hoping things get better cause this can't go on, it's miserable.
so I'm signing up to volunteer with the guide dog society. Training puppies, what could be cuter. Also going to make myself go for walks saturday and sunday....couldn't hurt?!
Oh excellent ideas, both! I love the idea of volunteering with the guide dog society.
I know exactly where you are coming from. My "freshman" room flooded a week before I moved in so I was in an upperclassman dorms with no roommate. I went to the gym everyday- including the weekends, because I had nothing better to do. Does your school have weekend sports? I went to the home football games and I'd always see someone I had class with or something who would offer me a seat next to them. I had a friend in the freshman dorms, we weren't close but I'd go over and visit. They had the "open door policy" where everyone pretty much kept their doors open and people walked around and talked to everyone. I met a ton of people that I'm still friends with today that lived on her floor. When I'd go out to the bars I would get approached by people who saw me in the gym everyday- I just put myself in the position to make friends, and it worked! Good luck girlie don't give up on it!
Maddie, this is great, give you something to do and fun too. But don't cheat yourself out of the people end of things too. Be sure to talk with the other people there are don't be too shy to see if anyone wants to go for coffee, to walk the dogs together etc.
Just little bits here and there, I take a long to time to make a true friend, but it is worth the effort.
fatmad
Hi Maddie,
i often feel that if on my days off, i get up a bit early, say ~8 or 9 am (rather than sleeping in i mean) and getting a workout out of the way early in the day helps me out.
It makes me feel better about the rest of the day, and getting my blood moving makes me feel more upbeat and relaxed.
then shower and get dressed in your normal clothes, even if you aren't going anywhere in particular. It will make you feel more like you have things going on, even if you don't.
ironically, i do well on my days off, and worse during the week when i'm tired.
Small rant but I need a little advice/support
Anyway, he introduced me to a few of his friends, and I introduced him to my room mate...and before you know it we all had a pretty good sized group of friends. On a bad note, this male friend came from a very wealthy family and he always had lots of money when the rest of us were broke...he bought me LOTS of beer and pizza...not good!
Get up on Saturday morning and go for a walk in the park. Or join a gym and go there. 
