CYBER PURGERS thread: Warning: binge confessions
 

In response to the thread asking for a cyber purger thread.....

This is the thread where we WILL confess (sometimes in explicit detail) our struggles with compulsive overeating/binge eating/bulimia and any other food control problems and issues. The mention of specific food is acceptable. All are welcome (newbies included!!). (words borrowed from the lovely Harpo)

i remember contributing to this thread when i first joined. When i came back after about a year i couldn't find any threads like this so i'm glad someone's made it again! i haven't got a confession as yet, but i'm sure i will do in the near future!

:wave: Elizabeth and Leah!! Nice to see old faces!! Yeah, it was probably my responsibility to ressurect it from the grave, but I've been SO SO SO busy (just moved again -- and just got internet installed last week). So thanks Elizabeth!! Congratulations on making (it past) your goal weight!!! I bet you look FANTASTIC!!

Ello! Yes, I can also remember you from last year :) I haven't got internet either yet, i'm in the library at the moment doing my 'work' hehe. I'll get on to it soon. I will be posting on here every day no doubt as soon as i get the internet up and running. I need this place. Anyway, thanks for responding to our posts :) hope you're having a non-binge day!

Have had a binging month, not a day. Planned ones, which sucks even more because it means i did it on purpose. Binges included ( but was not limited to )...

An entire box of entemens coffee cake ( in one sitting ), cookies, truffles, more cookies, cinnamon rolls, chips, muffins, doughnuts, cheesecake...

Gained 10 lbs in one month. Don't want to talk about it.

thinnythighs, i've just had to up my ticker by 3lbs because of my binging. This wasn't over the course of a month though, more like 2 days :o

Today is a new month. Let's all try to start over and think of it as a new start!

I have always binged, but not so much in the past few years. Lately I have been on the hump of the depo shot weight gain, and fighting it. I know I've been overeating due to that shot, and it's been hard. I eat so much, my tummy hurts, so I vomit and feel better. I have done it about 4 times in the past 2 weeks. My rib cages have hurt in the past few days, so I know it's not something I can keep up with. For what it's worth, that depo shot is fighting my weight loss program so hard, but I will overcome! I just am disgusted that I use the purging as a tool for helping me through it. Reminds me of being in 7th grade again.

and btw... I have gained 10 lbs since last Monday, so something is wrong with me! I'm back on program today and drinking tons of water and good foods. My ribs still hurt from saturday's purge session.

YESTERDAY:

Had a normal, 1800 calorie-ish day with a decent amount of walking, THEN

2 x cereal bars (300)
1 x cornetto (200)
1 x mini trifle (200)

Great! (sarcasm)


Oh well, roll on today!

Emily
xxx

:hug:Harpo:hug: Nice to "see" you too!
Hey now.....who are you calling "old"?!?!?! :D:):D

Thanks for the congrats about finally reaching my goal weight!
I will confess that I STILL have issues with bingeing and probably always will. I do binge less frequently now but I still do binge. :(

To everyone who struggles with bingeing......NEVER give up hope! It is possible to reach a healthy weight. If I can do it, so can you. :carrot:

-four bowls of cereal with soy milk (each bowl being approximately two servings per the box)
-1/2 pint of raspberries
-leftover stirfy (about a normal serving size, not really a part of the binge - this was supposed to be lunch)
-4 multigrain tortillas with peanut butter
-probably about a cup of shredded mozzerella cheese, straight from the bag

augh!

left over chinese when i got in from a drinking session last night... NOT good!

OMG drinking does me IN! Not all the time, just sometimes, I'm trying to figure out why I'm sometimes so controlled and sometimes grabbing fast food on the way home when I'm not hungry. It's emotional, obviously -- if I should happen to run into an old boyfriend or something, the drinking makes me sentimental about it and jealous of who he's with (super dumb since I'm happily married!)

Sometimes drinking = dumb for me, including diet dumb!

Can you believe I was once stopped at 2 am because I was driving suspiciously slow, I had to explain to the CHiPs that I was trying to put hot sauce on my Taco Bell burrito while driving. HE BOUGHT IT! Truly I was not drunk; but jeez I really could have pulled over to do that. Or better yet -- GONE THE **** HOME AND GONE TO SLEEP!

SO humiliating. Natch when I got home I got into something else.

At just past midnight as today dawned - because I was waiting for a *clean calorie slate* for today, of course, christ how stupid -

milkshake (400)
2 x crumpets with lowfat cream cheese (250)
1 x cereal bar (150)

800 , which im adding into todays total, but im hungry now, sigh argh

emily
xxx

Hi everyone...

I am really excited about this thread. I am new to 3FC and i am trying to find places where i fit in. I think this might be a good fit for me. Good luck to everyone, and remember if you fall down, get up and try again!

Wow this all sounds familiar!
 

Well, I've never admitted this before but I guess I'm a compulsive overeater. I tend to overeat at night, during dinner, but I honestly don't know why. And I know that's the worst time to do it. I pretty much don't eat breakfast and eat too much lunch and then way too much dinner. And yesterday was doubly bad as I ate 3/4 of a bag of cheese puffs (really) before having dinner. UGH! :(

I eat in the car, crazy food that I would never want anyone to know about. I once ate almost a whole 5lb thing of bologna!:eek:

i'm glad people can relate to each other here. Just about everything everyone has said i can relate to.

So last month was a bad month. I put on about 6 lbs. Trying hard now to get those back off and get back on track. I hope everyone is feeling ok today, i haven't binged once :)

I actually left my live-in last night but I'm trying to be responsible and not used this as an excuse to pig out.

:( SS, as in you left your partner? I'm sorry.......I hope stuff works out.

Yesterday on top of

milkshake
crumpets
cereal bar

LATER

2 pieces fruitloaf
big bowl turkey risotto
tesco prepacked sandwich
mint munchie chocolates
chocolate buttons
mini chocolate bar

.........

Today WILL be different..

Emily
xxx

P.S This is a really weird idea, but I'm going to type out what I WANT to binge/purge out...

I know, odd. But if we cyber purge can we cyber binge??

WHAT I WANT, RIGHT NOW:

-500ml Frijj Chocolate Fudge Brownie Milkshake (450)
-Cornetto ice cream (200)
-Crumpets with lowfat cream cheese (250)
-Big handful pic n mix sweets (500)
-Individual trifle dessert (200)
-3 big softbake cookies (750)
-Caramel ice cream (300)

2300 PLUS cals I didn't eat.

I do actually feel nauseated typing that out, a bit aversive effect??

Emily
xxx

Yes, we actually were married at one point but have just been living together for the last 9 months (since the divorce.) And all we did was fight so I left...and then last night I ate and ate and ate.

6 slices pickle loaf- 18 pts
2 slices bologna- pts
2 cans chicken noodle soup
crackers
pasta salad
3 cokes

:ink:
Then I got sick because I have had like no fat or grease for over a month and well the tummy wasn't so happy with me....

Oh and this morning instead of getting back on plan I ate

2 sausage burritos from McDonald's :o

HHHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

What is pickle loaf?

Emily
xxx

It's a processed sandwich meat...I know yuk, but I always binge on salty processed foods mostly meats.

that's such a great idea Emily , typing out what i want and then seeing how disgusting it all looks.... best idea ever!

So i want... :T

Salad i've pre-prepared for dinner (283)
3 bowls of cereal- any cereal (450)
Snickers bar (323) ?!
Toast with butter (325)
Wotsits crisps (212)
3 glases of wine (260)
2 boiled eggs (170)
buttery popcorn (405)

TOTAL= 2428

Woah... i DID have a cyber binge! :barf:
I think there should be a cyber binge thread :chin:, this has seriously helped me!

I'm also glad this thread has been resurrected -- because even after THIRTY years of fighting it, I still struggle constantly with private binging. In fact, on a "normal" day, most of my calorie-intake comes from binging. Thank God, I've never started purging -- I just let the fat pile on -- but I have to admit I occasionally considered it (in my younger days).

and i did it again...

three bowls of cereal
two bowls of powdered sugar and water ("icing")

after eating my nice, normal, healthy lunch.

btw lizzy... a year or so ago i tried on multiple occasions to purge.... couldn't do it. i know that's a good thing, and i'm shamed to admit that i've definitely considered it since.

Hey Leah, it made me feel better too :-)

I havnt binged today. Woo Woo Woo

Emily
xxx

I need to try that sometime because I still feel gross.

:carrot: well done Emily!! I didn't binge yesterday either, it really makes ya feel better doesn't it? :D I'm planning on a binge-free day today also! Big night out tonight :dizzy:

I'm on day five of my atkins diet. I've eaten SO many nuts today, and 2 diet fudge bars. *sigh*

Ready? My day was great and on plan until about 3:30. Then:
About 20 Pringles chips (would have been more but I gave the rest away)
3 chicken breasts (about 20 ounces)
bowl of Shells & Cheese
4 cupcakes
2 slices of toast with butter and cinnamon sugar

I haven't binged like this in about two weeks, and then before that, it had been almost four months. I HATE IT. I feel so very sick, but I think I might still steal one of my husband's cans of Coke.

telemetrynurse - Thank you for starting the thread again!

Emily - The cyber bingeing is such a great idea! I am definitely going to try it next time I get the urge to binge! I have so much faith that it might actually stop a binge before it even gets started in real life.

Yep...well, here I am again!

WHAT I WANT, RIGHT NOW

1 x pack sushi (100)
2 x mince pies (500) ...(yeah, early, but we've got some!!!)
1 x choc ice (150)
1 x bottle milkshake, Frijj (450)
1 x pkt chocolate buttons (175)
1 x cereal bar (155)

that is 1,400+ calories I HAVN'T eaten!

Its a dumb idea, can see that now, and am put off

Hey this may be a good technique actually

Emily
xxx

My cyber binge:

10 crispbreads- 250
Vegetarian ravioli- 255
Mushy peas- 172
Bowl of Rice Krispies and Milk- 172
2 fried eggs and toast with butter- 417
Pot of natural yoghurt- 275

Total= 1547

I don't want any of it after that...

i really want to try the cyber binge thing - unfortunately last night i was no where near a computer, so i actually DID eat:

- chips and salsa
- giant bowl of ice cream (probably half the carton)
- two bowls of dry raisin bran

in addition to my normal food, which i ate a double serving of at dinner, then went out and got two free beers cos i know the bartender and DON'T know how to say no to free beer.

Iris,

I would have a pretty hard time saying no to certain kinds of alcohol if it were free:dizzy:

Good luck to you, and everyone else!

I am so glad to see this page up and running!!! It is so comforting to read other posts and know that I am not alone! I am hoping that having a place to confess my binging will be a motivating factor in helping me to end 15 long years of binging and purging....For me, the vicious cycle continues in part because it is my shameful secret! I am hoping that putting my binges out there for everyone to read will strip the secrecy away and aid my recovery.
So - today was a bad day.
I ate an entire pizza with extra cheese, an entire package of ravioli with butter, and 1/2 a pint of ice cream. YIKES.

Now it is out there, and all I can do is try to have a better day tomorrow.

Also - I love the quote below because it seems to help me let go of past failings and focus on the future:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - emerson

I am so discusted with myself. The weekend caused me to gain 6 pounds, Yes 6 lbs. I am out of control.,

Had.....brace yourself, this is one day:

talapia fish and rice, made the same dish three times in one day
fat free chips
full fat tortill chips with cheeze wiz
2 donut stick cakes
one chocolate round hostess cake
popcorn
more chips
3 packs of reeces cups
one little debbie brownie
toritlla chips with salsa
scrambled eggs, toast
two smoothies


I have to stop this, I am undoing all of my hard work and cant stop!

Today, I had an OP day, except...I ate half a jar of canned green beans :eek:

Other then the salt, I would consider them as veggies, which I can have in unlimited quantities. But NSL :shrug: