Good morning everybody. Just wanted to get this week’s binge-free-thread going. This is not about having to have a certain amount of days clocked up – not at all. Newcomers welcome.
For me, it’s about my willingness and desire to have a binge-free day, and a supportive place to record that and share my struggles and successes with good people. Day at a time. Minute at a time, heartbeat-to-heartbeat when the going gets tough!
I’m good today – but have a challenging day ahead. My food is going really well, 43 days binge-free now, and I work hard to keep it like that. Like today, I know I have the kind of schedule that could get stressful – I have a lovely bank manager – there is such a creature – and I have a not-so-lovely mortgage advisor. I think I’ve been ‘advised’ badly, and my lovely bank manager is taking time out to share a long hard look at my options. ‘Long hard looks at finances’ are the kind of thing I would have ran to the food over. Do I really have to look at statements and see how much I shelled out for a new bag? Yikes! But I’m putting it out here, and hopefully, I’ll be protected from compulsive overeating.
And you know, a part of me loves this – being able to face reality without hurting myself. And that’s down to all you lovely people.
My food preparations are all in place, I do tend to shop well and wisely these days, making my life a lot more stress free.
I'm in!!! I've been super-bad with bingeing (after a total "I don't care" attitude) for the past 2 days..........I want to change it today! I've begun a fantastic day- hope I won't lose control later.
I'm up for another binge free week! Thanks for starting the thread, Searsha.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts today. I hope the meeting goes well and that all the financial business doesn't get to you too much. I guess we all have to learn to let ourselves feel the emotions rather than eating them away.
Oh gosh, i'd be so embarrased if i had to go through all my card statements... it'd be like
'HOW much do you spend on alcohol?!?!'
'Wow... did you really need to spend £100 worth of clothes in one day?'
Good luck anyway Searsha, and well done for planning ahead with the food!
I haven't binged at all today and i did 2 hours at the gym. I'm slightly pleased with myself...so i'm drinking a glass of wine now. Counterproductive, maybe. Deserved? Oh yes!
I love it here in the Cozy and Safe Chicks in Control Section . . . has made such a DIFFERENCE in my life! Tx All!
Had a few "moments" at the start of the week last week but have been rocking on and feeling stronger ever since! I've found it helps to come here whether I've stayed OP or not - confession good for the soul???
I think so and it Feels Faboo to have NOTHING to confess to!
Tx for starting us up searsha - I made a new Chat Thread too . . . it's GREAT getting to know everyone - we have so much in common on such a base level that I'm inspired by that alone!
Have A Great Day - whatever Day you're on. I've decided to just sorta keep track - the # of days was starting to feel like pressure to me, ya know?
Earlier I shared over on the OA forum about almost losing my abstinence yesterday. It was horrible, but I feel so much stronger today.
Earlier though, I went to my f2f OA meeting, and I could feel my head going into obsession again. I spoke to my sponsor. My issue was that I was half convinced I had broken my hard earned abstinence. She was lovely – gentle and understanding – but she did point out to me that I needed to let it go and move on.
Ok, so normally on my food plan, I can factor in approx half a banana – especially if it’s large. I don’t weigh them or anything. Yesterday, like I shared, I ate a large banana and about 3ozs more yogurt than normal. There was definitely an element of eating for comfort; I’d had a stressful day and even had to leave a shop to stop myself buying binge food.
My sponsor suggested that if I kept obsessing about it, then I was not AVAILABLE for any good stuff that might come my way today. After talking to her, I really knew what she meant. I can be as negative and obsessed just THINKING about food as I can be when I’m stuck in food!
I’ve gone on and had a gorgeous day. Really feeling my peace-of-mind back. Was able to have lunch with an AA member who really needed to talk and I was able to listen. Considering my racing mind of 24 hours previous, this felt like a miracle.
The miracle for me is that I did not go and buy all that processed food winking at me. I did not ask someone to do my job so I could take time out to go buy supplies. I so badly wanted to do all that but I didn't. And so there has to be a Higher Power working behind the scenes. Because that's not me.
And so I’m truly grateful to the tools of OA – and writing to you guys is a huge part of my ‘toolbox’!
I need this site. I need OA. And because of how I reacted to stress yesterday, I’m also thinking of having some therapy related to my food issues. Stress happens. I don’t want to go back to compulsive overeating. I’m beginning to like my life. Just as it is. At last.
It’s unusually quiet around here this week-end. Hope everyone is ok, and maybe out having fun.
I’m ok, feeling a bit low, think I’m tired, feeling a bit overwhelmed by all this letting go. Isn’t change very difficult? My AA big book tells me that in order to stay sober, I must undergo an ‘entire psychic change’. I thought I did that, 12 years ago, by taking the 12 steps, but the challenge of this change takes it all to an entirely different dimension.
Part of me relishes how tough it is, because it shows me how deep the compulsion to overeat is in me. I need to get free from that compulsion. It’s ruled me for too long now. And the fact that it feels so difficult and I have days when I truly struggle to stay abstinent must surely mean that the programme is working.
What keeps me going is the belief that it won’t always feel this tough. The OA promises promise me it will get easier. Don’t they? Or am I imagining they say that? Ok guys, I think it’s time I hit the deck and got some sleep. I’m even too tired to go check that out.
I hope everyone had a fabulous, binge free weekend. I'm happy to report that I made it another week without bingeing. Two weeks down, a lifetime to go.
Searsha--I'm feeling similarly overwhelmed by the whole thing right now as well. The concept of an entire psychic change just sounds impossible to me right now. I'm trying just to remember to focus on this day. For now, I'm happy to be abstinent. I guess it's all about these little baby steps. Maybe one day they'll add up to an entire psychic change. Until then, let's try to take it day by day. It's a hard concept for me, but I'm trying.
Hey Ann - well done on your 2 weeks!! That is so wonderful. I've got so much help from all your posts - your journey has been such an inspiration to me. Keep-on-keeping-on! Thanks for bringing me back to the ‘moment’ – the power of now as they say! Living in the moment is the only way I have managed to stay sober for so long. It works for me like nothing else, and yet I still manage to forget the basics and allow my head project into the future. And when I do that, I am immediately in fear.
Having said that, I think I’m also struggling to express just how vastly ‘different’ everything feels when I’m coping with reality without food as buffer. Feeling the bumps. It’s great because I’m learning to be true to myself, but I’m also thinking this is so hugely different from anywhere I’ve been that it feels like a very big change is going down for me. It’s like something very fundamental is shifting. Sometimes I think I have emigrated. To Venus. Or Mars. Or the Moon. That’s not a complaint, mind you. I am so grateful to be abstinent today. And being in reality for me means I need the wisdom of all you guys and your experience, strength and hope. I get so much more nourishment from supportive people than I ever did from a crinkly bag of nothing!! Have a good Monday.
I am finding that I'm feeling very much the same way. My life just seems so foreign to me when I'm not using food to cope. How does one develop coping skills when she's always used food instead of dealing with life directly? I don't know the answer to this. I know that through my journaling I have realized that I have a very limited capacity to deal with stress and to juggle multiple priorities. Food has been a friend that has helped me get through life's ups and downs. Without food, I really do not know what to do. This is my struggle for right now.
Sorry, I really didn't mean to write about this here. It's probably better suited for one of the daily threads.
I would like to join this group if that is ok. My name is Aubrey and i am 24 yrs old. I have had 2 children in 3 yrs. I currently weigh 212 and i eat for comfort and once i start i don't stop myself. I am an emotional eater and I guess i am looking for some support. Any advice?
You are so welcome here. Well done for ‘breaking the ice’ to say hello. I found it a bit tough to begin sharing here – even learning how to post a message was a biggie for me.
Great to hear your awareness too and I can so relate to emotional eating.
Congrats on your babies – that’s so wonderful, but also challenging – and like so many great women on this site, you are clearly hoping to be healthy for your babies.
You asked for tips; not to bombard you too quickly, I would just say that what worked for me after I joined this forum and began opening up to people was ‘keeping it simple’. For me, that meant just keeping the focus on today. I became willing that my next meal was a good nutritious meal. When hit by a craving, I just tried to put it off til later, had some fruit to hand and a LOT of water.
Gentleness seemed to get me through. I tried to avoid stress. Hot baths and early nights helped, although I know that’s not too easy to come by with babies in the house.
Well, I realize this week is almost over (the 14th is tomorrow!), but I needed to post on here tonight, anyway. I'll probably post in the new thread tomorrow...I have a real problem with staying binge-free for longer than 5 days...I usually binge one day a week, unfortunately.
That's been my pattern for a really long time. I need to get it under control. I'm doing Atkins--so binging on carbs once a week really stalls what I'm doing weightloss-wise. I'm not gaining any weight (except for temporary water weight for the two days after a carb-binge), but it's causing me to tread water again.
I think being a part of this thread (and consequential threads) will give me a solid goal to shoot for--one week at a time. So, thank you so much for creating this thread to give people like me a place to retreat to, in case I start getting that binge-feeling--I can now say: "But wait! My goal is a binge-free week."
searsha- i've been reading your posts on this thread and i've been wondering... is addiction to food quite similar to alcohol addiction? i know they're two completely different things, but my mum is an alcoholic and is currently at a detox clinic... long story, but do you think i'm taking after her by obsessing about food while she obsesses about alcohol? I find that we work in similar ways, she'd always go in the kitchen to have a glass of brandy when i wasn't looking, and i'd always stuff my face with as many unhealthy foods as i could find when i knew she wasn't around. The secrecy we both had with our addiction was very much the same. What do you think?
Searsha - Thanks for the warm welcome. I so appreciate your support. My problem seems to be the "keeping it simple" If i don't have a perfect meal or snack it is all over and I tell myself i don't care and then eat whatever i want to.
Binge Free Week August 7th Start
and i did 2 hours at the gym. I'm slightly pleased with myself...so i'm drinking a glass of wine now. Counterproductive, maybe. Deserved? Oh yes!
I've found it helps to come here whether I've stayed OP or not - confession good for the soul???
Any advice?
