Charlotte, darned right it's difficult! It's taken me many years of dieting, bingeing, and roller coastering weight to figure it out. It was kind of scary to give it up at first, but I'm sure now that it was the right move for me.
Kind of makes me relapse into my ED. So I just eyeball what I'm going to eat and kind of just hope that it doesn't have surprise calories! I don't worry too much about them. My diet is eating less and eating better foods.
I do it for now, because I really had no idea how much I was eating. I'm on a 1300 calorie diet and I've yet to be "starving." When I get hungry, I eat an apple or a salad.
I also never paid attention to portion sizes before. Or fiber content. So if I want something, I look at a portion size, then remember how much I had to work out to burn that. If I feel like it's worth it, I'll have it. But seeing what a portion of pasta is and thinking back on how hard I worked out today... I had fruits instead. I also started eating Kashi every day b.c it has alot of fiber that keeps me fuller longer. So far so good! =)
I like puzzles alot so I envisioned this whole thing as a giant puzzle... How can I get more food and nourishment for the each meal? How can I stay full? I'm actually enjoying this!
Maybe I should elaborate a bit... I don't specifically count calories, but after years of dieting, I have a pretty good idea of the calorie content/WW points of my common foods. Since I'm trying to lose some pounds, obviously I still want to consume less than I burn, so I can't just eat with reckless abandon. I do consciously try to balance off high cal foods with lower cal foods (eg. if I have peanut butter at lunch, I make sure that snack is fruit or something light), and make sure I get in at least 5 fruits and veggies a day. I write down what I eat, as well, though I don't get too exacting about portion sizes. That way, if I hit a plateau, I can look at my food diary, and see where I can trim a bit - eg. less cheese, fewer coffees, etc. So even though I'm not counting calories per se, I haven't thrown all caution to the wind, either.
Ah.. calorie counting.. I don't know! When I first lost weight (a couple years ago now), that's how I did it. I started to measure and count everything and it did work. However it did make me somewhat obsessive. Back then I did not experience all that many "side effects" to that obsessiveness, but looking back I think that, along with my long mental list of "bad", "forbidden", and "will make you a worthless fat ***" foods, it might have triggered the binge eating disorder I live with now. Despite this, now that I am overweight again, I do go back to calorie counting from time to time as a means to lose weight. So far it hasn't worked...
I think that, if you manage not to obsess over it, calorie counting is the best and simplest way to lose weight. No specific foods to avoid, no need to convert anything to "points", you just eat less than you expend, period. I wish I could follow this way of dieting without becoming anxious.
I don't worry too much about them. My diet is eating less and eating better foods. 
