Brenda, yes I walked in the door, handed DH my coat and he went to the coat closet and hung it up! He didn't say a word! Today he says he'll have the house spotless when I get home. I'm loving this!!

Falon, sorry to hear the kids are so sick. It took me 3 weeks to get over it and I'm feeling for you! I'm sorry for your loss too. My prayers are with you.

Sandra, I have a couple of suggestions for you -- EAT! When I lost my first 100 lbs, I ate when I got stressed which was a lot because we were finalizing our divorce and I was learning to live by myself again after having been married for 8 years. There were days when I might have 5 hamburger patties with cheese for breakfast and 4 chicken breasts for lunch and a big 20 oz steak for dinner and snack on macademia nuts and eggs between meals. Eat 5 or 6 hamburger patties and then come tell me you have any room for junk food -- you won't! And you will still lose weight. If you have to eat when you are stressed, make it protein. I never worried about the calories or the amount I was eating and the weight still dropped off. And exercise is very important for your stress -- get yourself to that gym. Don't just pay the money -- use it, move it, get it going.

I would make this suggestion for all of you -- if you are stalling or struggling, instead of cutting back, eat more. Your body may be stalling because you are not giving it enough food. By eating low carb, your body is going to digest your food differently and it may be wanting more to speed up your metabolism. Cutting back too much can cause you problems.

I'm doing the Lose Weight the Smart Carb Way plan right now. I'm losing about 1-2 lbs a week eating 150 grams of carbs. So starting Monday, I'm going to cut back to their 125 gram plan and see what happens.

Sandra,

Reading your follow up post here I think I can identify one of your fears that you didn't mention. I can because I've "been there, done that". You are afraid of failure. And afraid of humiliation. You are afraid of wanting it too badly and then failing to reach your goal. If you give up, you can always tell yourself "I could have made it if I had kept trying but I didn't." What if you do all you can work at it with all you've got and then you STILL fail?

For me that was a big fear. Also I had fear of other people's expectations of me. Fear that they would all see I was "weak" and "couldn't do it" or something.

This time? This time of losing weight is different for me. This time I want to keep reminding myself WHO I am doing this for. ME! Myself alone. No one else cares how much I weigh. I'M the only one it matters to. And what is different this time is that I don't believe there IS such a thing as failure. Every pound I lose and keep off is a success! I don't have to make it all the way to some imaginary goal. All I have to do is to lose 3 or 4 pounds at a time, be happy with that and keep them off. When I get to a point where I don't feel I need to lose any more weight I can stop setting those little goals, and stay there if I like. There is no failure, because there is no imaginary place pounds and pounds away from where I am now that I "can't" reach.

And too it is very very important to me to remember that what I want, what I am doing about losing this weight is something I'm ONLY doing for me. Not for anyone else. So while other people's encouragement is appreciated, their negative comments are not. It isn't their business whether I continue or stop at some point in my journey. That is what is so liberating about the new way I have chosen to look at my goals. I am at the reigns. I can decide how far to drive this horse I'm on. I can stop at any point that I'm happy with. I can maintain at a point where I'm content for awhile, or I can drive myself to lose more. I don't have to allow anyone else to tell me what I "should" do. And I don't have to live up to any one else's expectations of me.

When you let go of that fear of "what will other people think?" and realize that it really doesn't matter WHAT they think, you can then decide to be happy within yourself with whatever it is that YOU think and want. Then do it. Baby steps. A little at a time. You can get to your goals, and realizing and recognizing that they are YOURs, and no one else's, is truly a wonderful thing. It frees you. It lets you make your own choices. Those choices then have purpose that you may have lost sight of.

Sandra I am glad you are back and not running away, I love the thrad of the fears. I amgoing tot ake a lot of though for that one.

Sherry you are so thoughtful these days. with some wonder insight. WOW many of my own thoughts are in your post.

TOM came to visit. UGH I wish i had my change already. I did see a water loss just before I hope it stays and it was there for a few days so i will change my sig again.

Robit did "Larry the cable guy" come with the "Crack Man?" ( I ) :rofl:

DH tried to make up last night with a lame apology if you can call it that. I would not accept it although I almost caved so I guess it will be a few more weeks of the spare bed for me.

2 weeks ago when I was workign really hard and work was in chaos I got home late (though did bring food home like i said i was) The boys called and wanted to know what was for dinner, i told then i was gong to bring fish home and I had to go and get it, and they had to coook it while i was there and drop my friend off at home. so it was a bit late when i got home (later than he thought was reasonable) he got mad threw things all over the kitchen and went up and locked the bedroom door so when Iwent to bed i was locked out with out a empty and warm bed to sleep in. So 2 wees later he states to me I am welcome to come back in the bed.
WELCOME!!!! WELCOME he says. No I am not asking to get back in my bed, I should be wanted, I am not a guest to sleep in the bed where he will make a spot for me as a guest but wanted because I belong there!! So I asked him are you gong to kick me out again?? he stated if I have to and laughed. and that did it for me. he tried to hug me (though it did feel good and I almost caved) and I would not let him and just stared at him thinking what an ***. and walked past him with my clothes. I know he is a man of few words and does not allow him to let go freely with his feelings but I have been dealign with this for 23 years and I am tired of forgiving him with him not having a clue of what he has done. I have many times tried to talk to him but every time "I don't want to hear it", or he waits long enough I have tooo many other things going on in my life. I don't have the energy to continue to be mad. Well TOM is here and I have managed to lose about 20 lbs since he last "touched" me. "so He has no clue to what he is missing." I will make him wait even if there is another 20 lbs droped.

Welll that is what is happening in my life.

Coffee is on! come and get it!! I am headding in to work today so I hope to have a good day.

Good Morning you beautiful women :)

Hope your weekend is chocked full of fun and success :grouphug:

Originally Posted by nasus40:
I would not let him and just stared at him thinking what an ***. and walked past him with my clothes.

Did I ever tell you about the corn field, headlights, and a guy (insert name here) running for dear life?? LOL

Just keep yourself off the evening news lady.. *grins*

---------

Kids are still sick today, but not as horrible as the few days past. I managed to catch up on some chores this morning, since dh is home to help me. The kitchen is sparkling once again, and the living room looks, well... livable.

Still don't know when i'll get to make it back to the gym, but i'd rather the kids be healthy again. Chelsea was so beside herself not getting to perform in the parade today. On top of being sick, and upset, TOM came to visit her, so every emotion is amplified 10 fold.

Hope you all have a nice Saturday, sick-free!

Sue - Thanks for the little reminder of why I'm by myself! lol But, seriously, I hope you can work things out with him. Household upset is no good for anyone: you, he and the kiddos.

Happy Saturday all - sunny but c-o-l-d here today. Yesterday afternoon I sat thru the coldest baseball game of my life! Those poor boys. It even hailed on us for the last play of the game.

I'm heading out to buy a nice pair of black slacks. Tonight I'm going to a 'dessert & theatre' event at the church of the PI I'm dating.

But I need to get my 17 year old out for a fitting for a tux rental for the junior prom, which will be at the end of the month. Should be fun since he is a t-shirt/baggy jeans kinda guy like all the rest of the teens his age.

My weight is down 3-4 lbs. so I'm going to build on that! I would love,love,love to be back close to 140 but that is 13 lbs away - wow!

Have a great Saturday all!

Kel

Thank you Sherry for the advice. It is definately a lot to think about. Another fear that I have is that if I dont set goals for myself, I will procrastinate on this forever and I want to lose weight so that I can have a baby and have a healthy pregnancy. That is the major factor that I am working for.

ok so I was reading the fears post and I noticed that a lot of us posted about our husbands not trusting us, so i wrote him a long email about my fears and hear is some of what he wrote back, "You can be big or small and either way it doesnt matter to me cause I know that we have a love for eachother that no one else could ever touch. I trust you with all my heart and know that you are beautiful to me either way. I would never question your judgement cause when you look at me, i can see the love that is in your eyes and I know that it will never go away, nor would you ever taint that by doing anything to jmake me not trust you."

So maybe I have tackled one of my fears here. Maybe I was just being crazy and worrying myself for no reason at all.

-Sandra

I think small goals are easier to reach. I do think we should set goals. I wasn't saying not to. I was saying not to set such big ones that they overwhelm you. Set small goals, reach them and then set a new one. Work at reaching it and then set another. You will get where you are going either way, but it is easier for me anyway to "give up" when the goal seems unreachable, or when I can't foresee how many weeks or months it might take to get there.

I do have short term goals and longer term goals. I just don't pay much attention to the longer ones, because I can't hold them in my hands and look at them and really believe in them. I can believe in the small ones.

I'm glad that you focused on and alleviated some of your fears Sandra. To me the fears that we don't face, are much more frightening than the ones we do. When you look clearly at what you are afraid of, they begin to have less hold on us.

Sandra what a sweet way to aleviate one of your fears. And there is a great link out there about goal setting and all that. I have to read it again as it is very powerful. I used to have tiposted up in my office but I cleaned up and put it away I think I need to dig it out again.

Good Morning, Happy Sunday :D