LC Chat: Lolitas Chattin' it up! March 31-April 6th!
 

Just thought I'd get a head start on the new weekly thread!:carrot: Here's to the best week ever!!!

Bambi-I don't know what the weather is like in PA today. I don't live there anymore. I live in MS. It's sunny and 75 here.

I'm going to try to start working on the Protein Power basics thing today since my prime rib will be a long project.

hey of you lived in pa I would be there for dinner!!!

LOL Sue. You probably could be. I used to live in the Allentown area before I moved to MS.

I just wanted to update my girls and say hello :) I'm feeling much better about life in general these days--and Plan B isn't looking so scary any more. I'm going to head to my University's Career Resource Center this week and talk to someone about helping me put together a resume, so I can be prepared for when I graduate.

I intend on sending out applications to various corporations near where my boyfriend lives in CT a couple weeks prior to graduation, so I can hopefully go through the interview process and have a job by July at the latest. I'm beginning to see that I have a lot of options as an English major--I've come out of my major with excellent written and verbal communications skills and a knack for analysis. My GPA is 3.9, indicating that I'm a hard worker and that I'm intelligent...I'm sure I can find a decent job somewhere. I'll just have to sell all of those aspects of what having a BA in English means, and gloss over the more negative ones (like how a high schooler could out-math me).

*whew* That said, I'm feeling VERY good these last few days. I've been in Ketosis (as per my ketosticks) as of Friday morning, and I still am today. I've been sticking to Atkins Induction on EVERY point except for caffeine...I just can't give it up at this point. I'm in my last semester and I just don't have 3 days to feel tired and nap and be unable to do homework right now... I'll have to deal with that after I graduate.

I'm VERY excited to be feeling so in control now--and knowing I'm in ketosis helps that. It means that every pound I've lost and will lose since last Friday is ACTUAL fat--the glycogen and water weight loss is over now :) And that's a very encouraging thought--and as long as I keep on track, the yo-yoing is OVER. No more getting off plan and having discouraging water weight gains over and over and over while I tread water. NO MORE!

My weigh-in is next Sunday, and I'm comparing it to today's weigh-in which was 159.6! It's SO nice to see the 150s again, and I'm hoping for an excellent loss this coming week :D

I was working on my PP Basics and it was getting way too wordy. This is a difficult plan to explain in a few short blurbs. I don't want to put everyone to sleep.

Azure: Yay I'm glad you are feeling better! Petra: You won't put me to sleep I love hearing about the plans other people are following, especially understanding the basics. Here is to a fantastic week!

I need to go to the store today and stock up on veggies. We are good with everything else.

ox
SC

Okay PPers. Read my summary and let me know what you think?

So are we just no posting on the last day in the other weekly thread? :D

Petra, I read your new thread and have to say, that sounds like my plan, pretty much. I read "Protein Power" years ago. Maybe I will revisit it and look at the new books out.

SB: I think to took the path of least resistence! I'm just lazy. I posted on the thread that was the first one there. Guilty as charged!!! Have a great day!

SC

Soulbliss - can't speak for the rest of you, but where I am it's Monday already, so I'm all 'Yay!' about the thread. ;)

I'm also delighted to hear how positive Azure is feeling now! Good on you!

However, my WI is not so great. No change. Buggeration.

I'd like to think that it's because I've been on this jogging program for 2 weeks, and am gradually developing a little more muscle, but I suspect that it's just fat.

Grrr!

I think it's my fault. I didn't realize Bambi put the thread up a day early and just saw the new thread and started posting. duh!

I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to take a real vacation this summer. last summer I just did stuff around the house. It gets unbearably hot here during the summer. I'm thinking about renting a condo at the beach for a week. Sounds silly because I kind of live at the beach but people don't come here for the beach (it's not a beach resort kind of place). But I can travel a couple hours and go to a really nice beach. Or do I want to go somewhere else? I don't know. Should decide soon though. I have decided that this year I am going to take advantage of our local beach and go hang out on it some.

Azure, glad things are finding their place for you. You are so bright and resilient. ;) Hey! a high schooler could out-math me too! :lol: It's never kept me from getting what I want!

Fay, you may have a whoosh! soon, don't fret.

Petra, I say VACATION! If you have the money, do it! :D

Azure i agree you are doing a great job. do not think that plan b is a down grade it is just a different path. Keep on track with the woe you do not need distractions right now.

I did great this week until today glad I do not weigh once weekly or I would have shot my self. I am up 3 lbs with water. (no way did I eat that much) so I guess later this week it will all fall off. I just hope it does not decide to do it in the car. ( :rofl: ) especially today I have a lot of driving this day. That may lead to some stiff seats as it gets back down to freezing again.

:grouphug: I love you girls; you're all so supportive...and it helps to have an internet family to vent to when I need it :) So, thank you all.

Looks like my attention's going to be here, there and everywhere here in the Carb Counters forum! Since I'm on Atkins, but I love my LC Lolitas, I'm going to be participating in both places :D I just don't want this weekly chat to die just because we have an "Atkins" and "Other Plans" section for everyone. So, I'll be here--I'm posting my meals over in the Atkins forum, if anyone's interested in what I'm eating :lol:

Hope you girls have a fantastic day--I've got to go get dressed for classes! I hit the gym bright and early (hello, 7AM!) today, and I've got a class at 9 :D Ciao!

Do they really need a separate chat in the Atkins forum? I can see wanting to keep the food posting separately but the social stuff seems silly to me. Just my two cents.

I only get to claim 1 lb this week but again, I know this is a fluid thing. I've decided to give up grains at least until the beginning of summer since I have a goal to lose a certain amount by that time. It appears they are causing me to retain fluid so I can give them up temporarily. Threw out the bread, tortillas, oat flour this morning so I won't be tempted.

Petra - Much agreed...just silly! But...to each his/her own! Keep in mind, I started on Atkins and pretty much (technically) am eating like the OWL phase recommends. But, I'm always open to other low-carb theories/plans. I'm currently looking into supplements to help burn these last 15 pounds (i.e., CLA, Nitric Oxide). Any thoughts on those supplements? No change in the scale and I'm bummed. Can't wait to get my calipers so I can focus more on BF%. I think the problem is that I'm not eating enough calories. It's just hard cuz I have such a busy lifestyle...but NO EXCUSES! I'm not losing weight cuz I'm NOT DOING ENOUGH of something. Just got to figure it out!

Azure - I'm so glad your moving ahead...I know life has great things instored for you! You are so intelligent, motivated, and just generally sweet! Good luck to you on your "Plan B"...you'll find that throughout your life, you will always need plan a, b, c, and maybe d's cuz life is a maze and in order to make it...you've gotta be able to "roll with the punches"! I have a question for you as I'm totally "bummed" about the scale not moving for me...Do you find that your weight loss (scale) has stalled and up/downish as you get close to your goal?

Nasus - I doubt your temporary gain has to do with the frozen yogart and it's definately not fat you gained...it's water. Fluctuations in the scale can be a b*tch...I know...I live it...It s*cks! But, hang in there girl...it'll drop..it will. Sometimes I find that for weeks the scale is up 2 lbs down 3 lbs up 1 lb down 1 lb and I just seem to linger around the same weight (albeit TOM, water retention from sodium, etc.). Just keep tweeking your diet til you find the right balance for you (prot/fiber/carbs/fat/sodium)...and it'll come off and STAY OFF!

BAB - You've lost sooo much...sometimes the scale needs time to catch up...hang in there girl!

Hello to all I've missed. Hope you guys have a great week!

Nausus, sometimes when not eating enough, the scale can go up. Just something to think about.

I gotta get out of here, I have so much to do today!

Have a great on plan day today!!!

Joyce, to be completely honest with you, I'm not sure. I've been terrible about sticking to my diet over the last year. With Atkins, if you eat more carbs than your body can use immediately, it hits your glycogen stores and you automatically can gain up to 3 pounds overnight! If you use them up in a few days by eating lower carb, your weight drops again... I did a lot of being good for 5 days, cheating for 2, good for 4 days, cheating for 3... It isn't really productive with weight loss ;) By "cheating" I mean completely going hog wild for days, so I was eating enough calories to completely obliviate any progress I was making.

So...my "stalls" were self-made, just like my weight gains and the water I've been treading (I was down to 151 over the summer). I've only been on Atkins by-the-book, without any binging on junk, for about a week and a half solid and I dropped from almost 165 to 159 pretty rapidly. I guess once I've been solidly on plan for another month or two, I can let you know about stalls when I'm closer to goal ;) If I get stalled, I'm sure I'll be *****in' about it on here.

Happy almost April everyone. I had a not so great eating weekend but since it is Monday and the beginning of a new month I think I am motivated to be perfectly on plan all month. I am also challenging my children to not let me suggest we eat out all month long and see if we can do it. We have been doing too much of that lately! Heres to a good week in all we do!

Good morning! It wasn't a great eating weekend for me! I'm supposed to be doing Induction, but I strayed a little. Sometimes, my DH is a sabotuer. He's been bugging me to use this gift certificate he won for dinner at a fancy restaurant. So I caved on Friday and told him to make the reservations for right after work. He made them for an hour later and announced we were going to get a drink first. I just don't have the will power to sit in a bar and drink water for an hour! Two rums and diet cokes later, it was even harder to resist the non-induction goodies at the restaurant especially since I was hungry!
I did a lot of cooking this weekend which led to some sampling of non-Atkins stuff. DS20 was home for the weekend, in the process of moving from one apartment to another, so that was my excuse for cooking stuff like potato salad! He wasn't all that impressed, either!!
So today I guess I'm back to Day One of Induction Again!! I've been to step class and ate my lunch salad, so far so good!
I don't understand about the separate Atkins board, but my bookmark brought me here, so I guess I'll stay here. I like hearing about the other plans! Be back later, Lynn

Weelllll...it looks like the low carb area has been restructured to try to meet the needs of differing opinions and avoid hurt feelings when people feel passionately about the program they have chosen to follow. I think the Atkins specific threads are a wonderful resource and place to go for people who want to chat only about Aktins and their experiences with it and also to debate the extent to which they feel they have knowledge of the plan. I like our weekly chat for the social aspect and because I really like to read about other plans and what others are doing. It is not rigid which is what I love about it. I love the fact that Petra as started a PP thread and I've been reading it too. I don't think anyone should be told to post their comments in different places or categorize themselves if that is not their choice. By the same token, I typically don't respond when I read posts that may have come out a little more perscriptive than the writer intended with regards to their particular plan. It makes me uncomfortable when someone, especially someone new gets a kind of,"you are doing it all wrong" kind of message instead of a suggestion but that is just me. I'm always afraid they might get turned off or scared away and leave the thread. My pleasant experience thusfar is that if people here don't enjoy a post within a thread or don't wish to let one person's opinion dominate the conversation they just kind of ignore it and the thread continues on flowing around it without a lot of controversy. I did stop reading the check in thread the first week it started when I thought it was becoming too negative for my personal taste but I can't say it was because of Bambi's posts. I really did get the feeling that she was being given the impression that she was not welcome because she wasn't uuuhhhhmm, I guess, purist enough? I missed the exchange noted above but I did go back to try to understand what happened and all I see is someone telling Bambi that her post should have been put somewhere else. I can understand how that might lead to some hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

Regardless, my experiences here have also been awesome as well. I say we do our best to keep it positive and I hope that I am welcomed when I post on other threads as well as this one even though y'all know I'm sort of...far from perfect or purist or exercizist (O.K...I made that word up).

Hugs to all SC

Oops!! Forgot to say:

Petra: Well done on the pound. I'll take it!!!
Joyce: I'm scared of the calipers!!! But, maybe I will try it too based on my reading of the bodyfat thread. Plus..Your rocking photo update inspired me and I swam laps this weekend as well as giving the recumbent bike a dose of my special lovin'
Nausus: Onward and downward! Live and learn. I don't think you ate enough frozen yogurt to have gained though. ox
SB: How are you doin' girl? I hope things are going better for you this week. You are such a sweet soul (I made PUN!) You deserve the best of all things.
Lynn: Sounds like things are going groovy for you. Keep on steppin. I read your post and actually went to the work friggie and pulled out my home made chicken salad and munched it. Yummy.
Aud: What's up with the strike? Are you back in the land of axe and grind? I thought of you last night when DD was flipping back and forth between Suite Life and ICarley. Can't get the theme music out of my head.

SC

HHHHmmmmI am wondering where the frozen yougert came from. I said frozen seats (from wetting them) But yea I know the stall is either from salt intake (ham and the salad dressing was tasting salty) TOM, and the 6 week fluid stall (there was a post I did many years ago on the reason for a stall at about 4-6 weeks into the diet. about how you lose the water rapitly then your body goes into what is like the starvation mode but it does that with water un til the body realized that it is taking in enough water then it drops suddenly) Ot I tend to lose water at the beginning of TOM and gain at the end (yes I am a bit wierd at that one) and I am at the end or TOM. Also the cal intake for the last 3-4 days were really low and I upped it yesterday. (I did take in low carb bread)

Ok with that said. (frozen yougert does sound good though does it come in chocolate???) I had a good but sad day. I sent one of my ladies to the hospital and almost made the husband cry. he is so worried about her. and she is young at 77. I ran about all day ate fiarly well I think. I did bring lunch so I did make sure I ate though it was late. I almost forgot breakfast. LOL so I had a can of atkins shake on the run.

I try to stay out of any controversary I can create enough of my own by just not watching how I put things. Not intentionally I can do that and find I stick my foot in my keyboard far too easily. I believe the reconstruction was more to meet the needs of seperate diets that have seperate needs it ishard to understand the needs of a CAD if you have only done atkins and there are very many atkins dieters out there that just want just atkins info and atkins advice. (like they should) I know PP is very close to atkins so I feel comfortable giving atkins advice BUT there are many low carbers that do not follow the true atkins with their own tweaking and opinions and they have a doet that works for them. that is the reason they have made the two I am sure.... not to seperate any slighly heated discussions. From knowing the girls that started this board, (for many years) I know they allow some heated discussion, It is good for the soul. If that was it they would lock the thread or delete it. (happened many times before) Besides it is the moderators that sift through the threads and would stop things before they got to far. Right Leene???

Ok enough on that issue time to move on Like I said I can stick my fingers where they don't belong way to easy!!!

Joyce I had a site thet actually did a really accurate fat % it was from the BFL site and now that link is gone. I know the BF that you have is probably going down if you have stepped up your exercise you will drop fat and gain muscle and not see the scale move. you really need to get to a gym and have one of the trainers with a bioimpedence bf analizer check your body fat % it is much more accurate and reads your hydratin levels and much more lean body mass fat mass and flouid mass way to cool. the guy that had done mine in the past was my trainer for a while but he never had his machine or his electrodes near to get them done when I wanted it done. I do not see him anymore.

To be honest, when I first saw the forum split, I thought it was my fault. I hadn't been reading that thread and I thought it was because I was following something other than Atkins and was vocal about it that they did this. Later, I noticed that thread had gotten out of control and that might have been the cause. Whatever the reason, like I said, I think it could be confusing to newcomers. For those of us who are "advanced low carbers" we can sort out the pros and cons of various options but the newbies can't always do that.

Bambi-here is my advice about your scale issue which you may or may not like or agree with. I think if you want to lose some more weight, you are probably going to have to throw your carb cycling out the window and try high fatting. I have seen quite a few people have good success with an 80% fat, adequate protein diet. This will obviously be very low carb. If you want to look like Ms. Universe, keep doing what you are doing but your scale is probably not going to move. High fatting is my plan B if I can't lose by eating clean.

Wise words by all. Nasus I wanted to concur that the ladies that started this site have been operating it successfully for a long time and have probably seen numerous cyberspats develop before and handled it well. It also occurred to me that that if one is seeking a mentor or one pretty much wants to use ones knowledge to primarily serve as a mentor to others that one should be able to go to a specific area where that occurs. That leaves the weekly chat free for fun, socializing and active discourse about the pros and cons of different plans. I LOVE IT! Petra, for what it is worth...I thought I was the cause also with my soy milk thread! I had to search posts by names to see what the controversy was. Alas, it is the bane of the cyber age that fingers fly and sometimes what we write was not what we meant but for centuries, we have been pointing out what we said was not what we meant. I get emails from people all the time that sound like they are criticizing, ordering, know it all-ing (another word I made up) and if I'm lucky I get to talk to someone face to face or on the phone and I totally misinerpreted the tone of their email. It's just the way of the world.

Best to all tonight. Have a terrific one and keep on keepin' on.

SC

Well Heeelllloooooo All!

Don't mind me...but I just going to sum it all up by saying...I LOVE YOU GALS!!! YOU MAKE MY DAY!!!! YOU SUPPORT ME!!! AND I HOPE I SUPPORT YOU AS WELL!!! YEAAAAAHHH!

Lynnar - Great to see you back and on track!! BTW, I'd miss ya too much if you left and probably would end up stalking you on the Atkins thread!:lol: Glad you enjoyed yourself and family this weekend! That's what it's really all about! BUT, also glad you are back on plan (summer's acomin!).

Azure - Thanks for your honesty. I saw your progress picks and think that you are just tooooo beautiful! Congrats on getting into the 150's...hopefully I'll be joining you soon!

SIC - WAY TO GO GIRLLLLY! I'm so proud of you! I wish I were a good enough swimmer to actually get a workout out of it!:lol: I'd friggin drown before I broke a sweat! Looking forward to hearing how your relationship with dear recumbent bike (a.k.a. DRB) is blossoming! And thanks for the compliment!

Monster - Great to see ya back! I've got a daughter 9 who's constantly eating all my favorite treats and a 21 yr old daughter who lives off friggin MickeyDees and Chinese Food (need to get her chunky butt on 3FC's! tee hee!). It's a new week...and a new start! You can do it girl!

Aud - I certainly hope they don't "Ban" you...I love hearing honest opinions...

Nasus - Thanks for the BF% suggestions. I actually ordered the accu-measure home caliper. I found it at bodybuilding.com on sale for $13.95!!! It should be coming in a few days. Glad to have you around here...or back here!

Petra - Not agree with FAT!! R U kiddin?? I LOVE FAT! It's just all that damn mental programming done by society. If I eat something I enjoy...subconsciously, I feel like I'm doing something wrong? Like this can't be good for me! What gets me over those feelings is my willingness to try anything (almost) once! So, I've got one more thing to try and if that doesn't work...ON THE FAT TRAIN I GO! Thanks for the advice.

Well, I'm excited to tell you all about something new I tried. I know...I know...this crazy a$$ chick's always trying some new "thing of the week" that's the "absolute greatest thing since life's bread!" While that may be true...I think you gals might really wan't to check this out. It's called "Yerba Mate". It's a tea and it's powers are voluminous. NO...it's not some crazy posion...its a tea that comes from the rain forest (okay..now I'm laughing at myself..)...why don't I jut post the link...check it out though...it'll explain it's origin and what is does way better than I could... http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...ght=yerba+mate

BTW, it taste GREAT too! No fruity taste or anything...kinda like a real good quality tea...and it's cheap! Only $6 bucks from VitaminShoppe!

Good night all!

Frankly, whether there is a separate thread for Atkins or not is neither here nor there for me. At this point - it just is - and I'll move around to all the low carb threads because I too like to learn.

Aud - I did see the comments you speak of and I wasn't trying to ignore them....I actually did respond but did so at the point where comments were being deleted and mine was adjusted/deleted (which I was perfectly fine with).

Perhaps it was simply a timing issue.....there were some incredibly hateful remarks made and shortly thereafter, there was an addition of the Atkins section to the low carb forum. Related? Who knows. It just doesn't seem like it should be a huge issue....several other forums that I frequent separate out different low carb philosophies without losing the integrity and community of the whole. Discussion is great but let's leave the drama and attitude at the door.

Just my opinion and if banned or ignored - it will be a shame - but I'll deal with it.

I'm too exhausted to comment on the controversy, sorry, I hate to just gloss over things...but I am having PMS/stress and haven't had PMS bad since beginning low carbing. :(

I had a very stressful day, had to sit on a disciplinary hearing board, was in and out of meetings all day, one meeting went so long over schedule that I missed my tutoring appointment and didn't get to eat often at all. :(

For the first time in months I gave into a craving (still on plan in terms of carbohydrate/protein/fiber, but a "risky" choice for me) and had 1 serving of flax soy tortilla chips. They were delicious and I carefully measured out a portion. I am hoping this doesn't result in cravings, a stall or weight gain.

Have a lovely evening/day ladies!

It's available for less money and it's fair trade/organic at many Trader Joe's too! Whole Foods is another good option.

Me? I buy it wholesale and use the traditional "Bombilla" gourd to drink it. ;)

Wowwy! Yeah!!! Someone who's heard about Yerba Mate!:carrot: I read this incredible article about in on bodybuilding.com and thought at first it was some supplement rep trying to infultrate! But no...it wasn't. I just tried it today and I swear I feel calm, and energized (too energized...it's 11:20 pm here), and have been pee'ng all day like a racehorse! (sorry TMI). How long have you taken it? It's supposed to help with fat loss...how (if at all) has it help you??? *EDIT* Oh yeah...I heard about the bombilla guard, is it better to drink it out of that?

I feel like a total prat for not knowing what the controversy actually was. But - whatever. Key point - I enjoy reading Sylvia's posts and Joyce's posts, and I appreciate the **** out of this place. I have no strong feelings about the creation of an Atkins-specific forum - for chatting purposes, this is my main 3FC home. I do enjoy getting different insights into ways of Low Carbing it, but I've no problem with people who are more focussed on Atkins getting somewhere that focusses on Atkins. It's all good.

Ok the water weight is still there, It willhang on until I decide to pee it out. Not much here, just another busy day. I had a laugh at 11 pm after 2 hours of goos solid sleep I was woken by m oncall phone. they wanted toknow what medications my mother was on. (the pt I had sent to the hospital) . when I told them I was not the daughter but the nurse, they were so appologetic. So funny. Ihad left the number for informatin that they would not know over what had happened over the last few days. But Hey just drifted back to sleep in 3 min or less!!

Sb those ships sound very tempting You did great measuring out only one serving and stiking with it during a stress time. Great job!!

gosh darned with sprinkles on top it - I totally am not losing weight this week either!

AAAAAAAAARGH!!!

WTF, body? WTFF?

Right. Fine. Am contemplating a fat fast to kickstart some more weightloss. And now I'm off to the gym.

Dear Universe: Please let the gym be empty, or at least with no ******* using the treadmill. It should be mine! My need is greater than theirs!

Fay you are too funny.

Fay you are too funny! I am on my way to the gym too and cant decide between the treadmill or actually doing an interval class. I think I am going to go interval since I wont have to think about my next move....just follow directions! I definitely need to work my jiggle today!!
Bambi- Can I say WOW at the new pic?? You look great!!
Have a great day all!

Well...on my way out ladies...got to do a "set-out" this morn (eviction). Anyways...just thought I'd let you all know that after only 1 day of drinking that Yerba Mate tea...I lost 2 lbs!!! Yeah!!!! I'll keep you all apprised. Think I may have struck gold with this one!

Have a great day all!

Bambi, I like the bombilla because I'm into indigenous traditions and cultural experiences and the like. :) I drink it and Slim Life Green Tea by Yogi Tea. I like them both for different reasons. I know they do decrease my appetite.

Nasus, thanks, the chips WERE good and I didn't obsess on them, so that is good!

Fay, I think you are amazing. That is all. :D

Monster, interval workout sounds great!

Here's the NSV Scale-free challenge I started, for those who are interested in celebrating all the changes we are making that aren't related to numbers on a scale! There's no reason we can't participate in many types of challenges, and so many people expressed they wanted a way to not focus just on the numbers on a scale as a measure of worth and progress.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...21#post2127321

I'm really having one of those I-Think-I'm-Starring-In-A-Crap-Sitcom kind of evenings. I can practically hear the laugh track. So having returned home after tutoring a kid after school, I got changed to go down to the gym. It was 6pm - I had time for half an hour in the gym, then jump in a shower, then jump into new clothes, then dash out and jump into a taxi with 30 mins or so to get to the 7.30 rehearsal for my play.

As I was standing outside the elevator waiting to go downstairs to the gym, listening to Hedwig-the-iPod-shuffle, a faint voice in the back of my head screamed: 'Are you sure it's 7.30?'

Hmm, I thought to myself. Hmmm, my self thought back. So I scurried back to the apartment and checked my email.

FECK! Nope, nope, because we've got a photoshoot (for which we should be taking clothes, and I've got the clothes all set out), we're supposed to be there at 6.30 at the latest.

FECK!

I am in no fit state to be in sexy cleavagey dress etc. At all. Buggeration!

Jump into shower, frantically shave legs at a million miles an hour, jump out of shower, manage not to slip and break neck (even with the assistance of the cat), leap into new clothes, leap out of new clothes, put new clothes on again, but right way round this time rather than back-to-front, scoop up dress and heels and wallet and script and hurtle out of house.

Jump into Tuk Tuk.

Pray to the Traffic Gods.

Hear their hollow laughter. It is 6.15, foolish mortal, and you know fine well that the 10 minute drive you need to take will not be less than 30 mins if you are very lucky indeed, for the traffic she is PACKED.

Also, I have managed to find the only Tuk Tuk in Bangkok that likes to go slow and take it easy. "Can't we overtake illegally like they just did?" I implore my driver. Eventually he does a little bit of the driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road to humour me, but mostly, not so much with the humouring.

I look at my phone.

It is 6.30 and I am still on my own street.

I make small whimpering noises.

Eventually we arrive at the place. I am only 15 minutes late, so it's not too bad. As I fly up the stairs, my phone starts ringing. "Where are you?" asks the director. "Here! I'm here! Look!" I say, waving at her through the window.

And then I get to stand next to lots of hot, slender, tall people in gorgeous eveningwear, looking rather like some kind of fat hobbit prostitute with too much cleavage surrounded by perfectly elegant elves, while the director makes us pose in various ridiculous positions and pull silly faces.

After which I spend the next 4 hours demonstrating no social skills because of the proximity of The Bloke I Fancy, (who was in a tux, ******* it) and boggling at the sheer smoking hotness of the very lovely straight girl I also fancy. Who was snuggled into my cleavage for half the photo shoot, and who later asked me to unzip her and help her rip off her corset and then rezip her. Um. Leaving her sans underwear in the general breast region. Um. And then there was the talk of jello wrestling.

Good GOD.

No wonder I drank vodka on an empty stomach and spent most of the rehearsal giggling like a lunatic.

And the real killer? I never got to the bloody gym! Argh!

(Although on the plus side, my mate Justin told me that I've lost masses of weight, and how impressed he is and all that. Which is adorable of him, and also somewhat horrifying - because, man, I am still SO much fatter than Joe Q Public, as this evening's photographs made all too clear. Wow. Man, I really was SCARILY fat back in December.)