I know I have come a long way and I feel a lot better about myself. I look in the mirror and still see the old me, sometimes. I get so upset just thinking about the extra skin I have on my stomach (I have 4 kids) and the exercising just doesn't seem to be helping the extra skin. I have researched surgery and everything else There is no way I would EVER go through with the surgery but I'm just wondering how do you become content with yourself? I feel incredible with clothes ON but without the clothes, it's just sad My husband is very supportive, always telling me I look wonderful, he's attracted to me and is very attentive...this is all in my head and I just want to accept myself
I'm also a mom and I hear you on the skin issues! Ugh, I'm not a fan of my lower belly either and also do the surgery research even though I highly doubt I'll ever follow through on it.
I do try and concentrate on what I look like with my clothes on. Shoot, that's the way I am the vast majority of the time! DH has never once complained about my postpartum body and that alone is enough. I certainly might not look like the woman that I was in my early 20's before kids BUT I'm also the mother of his child and we've been together for many years and that means a lot. I think I've also learned a few things in the process and don't have any desire to go back to being the person I was back then. I remind myself that his body isn't perfect either (our weight tends to fluctuate together! ) but that never ever bothers me and I rarely see his flaws unless he points them out to me, so why should I worry about my own so much?
Well, I think you are gorgeous! And congrats on the weight loss -- so many people want to do what you did and just never have the gumption to follow through.
Did you happen to see Kirstie Alley on Dancing With the Stars? Wow, can that lady move seductively --- worth looking up online for inspiration. If you are interested in such things, how about taking some dance classes? Not just gym Zumba, but some sexy, precise dance like salsa, samba, tango, or even belly or pole dancing...
I have a different sort of issue in this department. I was very slim and ballooned up in a few months two years ago. One of my friends said he was shocked, I looked like a blow-up doll (so did he, haha!) I felt HORRIBLE about myself. Anyway, I was not dressing well and had some "just getting by for now" clothes in the larger size. When I went out and bought some nice clothes in my larger size, changed my hair color and cut, and got new makeup in a MAC store makeover, I started feeling pretty darn good.
I've found Chico's is a great place to shop efficiently, with salesladies/stylists who truly get it and send you home looking great in no time flat. For someone with 4 kids, that could be invaluable! And that's great about such a nice hubby.
The great thing about self acceptance is it doesn't matter what anyone or the scale says, you still win. One writer you might want to check out is Lesley Kinzel. http://blog.twowholecakes.com/
I could not lose weight until I accepted myself as an attractive person of value at my high weight.
Thanks so much for the replies. I had my hair done over the weekend which is my latest pic down in my siggy. I felt fabulous and like I said I feel great but then I look in the mirror and see so much more :-/ I'm going to work on this. I have already promised myself that when someone compliments me to accept it and not say "Thanks but...." I just say "thanks, I feel much better" I feel so lame saying that though, like I need to explain more. I have self image issues but I'm going to work on it.
I LOVE your new hair! It's beautiful. And now repeat after me, and practice in the mirror:
Big smile. Look em right in the eyes. "Why thank you!" Another even gianter smile.
No saying "I feel much better." Just a big, emphatic "thanks!" 'cause you're stunning and you're going to get lots of compliments. Also you'll meet a lot of people who've only known you a slim lady...so there. It's an acquired skill, but fake it 'til it's automatic.
Actually, even though, objectively, I don't look nearly as good as when I was younger, I feel better about myself now (in my early 40s) than I ever have in my life. I think that when I started showing the signs of aging (hair thinning, wrinkles around the eyes, boobs sagging, etc.), I went through some terrible angst about my looks. I was researching surgery and all that. Fortunately, though, I got through all that (sans any surgery), and I came out better for it. I realized that even if I wasn't a beauty any more, I still had tremendous value. Not only do I have people that love me for me, but God loves me. That's all I need. It took many years for me to get to this point, though.
I'm sure that you have people who love you, and they can recognize how special you are. You---the inner you, the you that can only get more beautiful with age and wisdom---is what your husband and family love. Don't let your weight define who you are.
Do you beat yourself up?
There is no way I would EVER go through with the surgery but I'm just wondering how do you become content with yourself? I feel incredible with clothes ON but without the clothes, it's just sad 
My husband is very supportive, always telling me I look wonderful, he's attracted to me and is very attentive...this is all in my head and I just want to accept myself 
I remind myself that his body isn't perfect either (our weight tends to fluctuate together! 
