I am trying hard to lose weight, but every night, when 9pm or so rolls around, I CRAVE wine. When I start drinking it, I can't stop until I feel the "high" I'm not an alcoholic. For instance tonight, I want it so bad, but I am keeping myself from going to get any wine. It is making me kind of miserable to be around. If I could stop at one glass and have 100 calories fine, but when I start, I always have at least 4 I just can't afford that even at 5'8" and 150 pounds. What can I do?

I hate to say this ... but those are the words of an alcoholic. My parents were both alcoholics and I'm very very very familiar with the symptoms of the disease. I would seriously advise that you talk to your doctor about this and possibly check with a local AA group.

Please talk to someone before you get in deeper and can't get out. Alcoholism is a scary disease and a scary place to be ... both for yourself and for your friends and family.

Please seek out some help soon!

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It sounds like you know you might have a teensy weensy problem. I also had a father who spent three months in rehab for alcohol abuse when I was younger. I also know that he never had thoughts like these; he would drink at the crack of dawn and drank throughout most of the day. He became epileptic and began having seizures brought on by hard alcohol. I don't remember him ever thinking twice about drinking.

I think it is really brave that you wrote this thread. I am not going to call you an alcoholic because I think those are really strong words. I think talking to someone you trust would help you clarify what is causing this want to drink.

I remember when I was drinking all the time. I was a social drinker and felt left out if I wasn't out at the bars. I don't remember a Friday or Saturday night that I wasn't either at a bar or some other function where alcohol played a role in years. I might have been considered an alcoholic by some. As soon as I became pregnant though, I completely quit and haven't touched it for the most part except for the occasional beer, maybe like twice a month.

I guess what I'm saying is that there are a lot of outside influences that could be making it worse for you. I was single and had gone through a breakup that basically destroyed me for about four years. I was also very unhappy at my job.

Deep down you know what is best for you .

I agree with the other posts: it sounds like you ARE an alcoholic, no matter how much you want that not to be true:

*You crave it every night.
*You can't stop at just one glass or limit your consumption of it--you must get buzzed before you will quit.
*You are miserable to be around when you don't have it.

All classic signs of alcoholism.

Like the other posters, I also grew up with an alcoholic parent so I am very familiar with the symptoms.

Please seek out treatment. This goes beyond a simple weight loss problem, and you really need professional guidance.

But I don't have it every night. I may crave it every night but I only let myself get into it 2-3 times per week

You're NOT an alcoholic - geeze. However, laying of the booze does help a lot since you wont be drinking your calories. I pesonally like vodka a bit too much in the social setting, but I never drink alone.

Perhaps not, but what was written in the original post was troubling. Maybe we are just letting our past experiences with alcoholics color our perceptions, but to me it sure sounds like the signs are all there.

It's something to think about at least, and a potentially serious issue like that shouldn't be dismissed so casually in my opinion.


Putting that argument aside, however, there is a simple solution, Stardog: cut it out completely.

If you can't control how much you drink, then eliminating it is the simplest solution.

Some people find that there are certain foods they can't even allow in the house, or they will binge on it like crazy. (My weakness is cheese, so I can't buy it or I will just gobble it all up.)

If you really can't give up wine, then limiting it to one night a week or less may be a solution you can live with.

Stardog, I HEAR you and no, I doubt very much you're an alcoholic. But to give credit to those who are concerned about you, NOT being one now, doesn't mean you couldn't be sometime in the future for so many reasons, any or all of them that could affect ALL of us, no matter how immune we think ourselves.

I have a similar problem to you, fellow Pennsylvanian! I, however, am in Tokyo, drinkers city! and I am surrounded by people (Brits, Aussies and Japanese) who LOVE TO drink. I spent a lot of time in Munich, Germany too, beer city! Anyhow, the socializing and the work winges and the relaxation of getting sloshed are fun! but I just can't afford to keep doing it, not only for the calories and disgusting roll it puts on me, but for the cost as well AND the thought that this just can't become MORE of a habit than it already is. And that's what it sounds to be with you as well, for now at least.

In any case, I declared myself off booze (I only drink beer) and am now 17 days without one and I go to the bars and sit there watching my friends drink and would love to join them but have just put my foot down in order to form some NEW habits. And, that is what I think you need to do. I've done this before, for months, even a year at a time, and would keep the drinking down to once or twice a week, but recently it started becoming more and I thought, nope, time for another self-imposed prohibition. This time is only till my birthday, Aug. 8 but it will show me I have other options and help me learn new habits, even if it's something as simple as going straight home for a change!

Go for it. You just have to get tough with yourself. Alcohol is not only about the calories. It changes your hormones, makes your body gain fat more easily, is hard on your body in general and, heck, it's just not worth it. You've got to just deal with things being boring for a while and make new things to do. Unless things are just GRAND when you're a bit tipsy, and not just SEEMING grand, you owe it to yourself to take things in hand, at least for a while.
Cheers!

Anyhow, if you want to hang out, I'm usually over on the 21-day challenge thread in the support groups forum. Later!

There are many definitions of addiction--some clinical and some not. One way I like to think of having an addiction problem is, You intend not to do something, and you end up doing it anyway.

Having 4 glasses of wine when you intended to have only 1 would fit.

Having any wine when you intended to have none at all would fit.

Doesn't matter whether it's wine, marijuana, or peanut butter! Anything where all bets are off once you start is problematic...

You don't have to be "an alcoholic" to get information about alcohol. Drop in at any AA meeting that's open to the public. You can listen to what people have to say and pick up some brochures. No big deal!

In the meantime, you can see that your desire to drink is getting in the way of your weight loss, so you're probably going to have to learn to control it in some way. Or give it up.

Jay

Stardog, your thread title really says it all, "Alcohol is my downfall." It doesn't really matter if I, or any of the other posters on this thread think you're an alcoholic, or not...does it? The fact that you recognize alcohol is getting between you and your goals is the important thing.

Sugar is another thing in addition to alcohol that some people have to completely avoid because the smallest amount can set up a craving for more and more.

You are ultimately the master of your own ship, but you may want to try avoiding it completely for awhile and seeing what happens. If you are unable to do that, well then, you may have more of a problem with alcohol than you are currently ready to admit.

I also enjoy wine and recognize its health benefits so I have decided to include it in my daily calorie allotment. 4 oz has approximately 100 calories so that's what I allow myself to have. If at any point, I could no longer stop at 4 oz and it was derailing my efforts to lose weight, it would no longer be part of the plan.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing. I admire your honesty.

Hey Stargdog! It's really good that you've addressed your problem and nipped it in the bud. Thankfully you don't sound anything like my mother (she's been an alcoholic for 15 years) but i'm guessing she wasn't always this bad and it had to start somewhere. Course you don't have to cut it out altogether, neither should you think too much about NOT having that extra drink, as i find that the more i can't have something, the more i want it, if you know what i mean. Just be carefull and if you think the problem is getting a little out of hand, i think the best way forward is AA. Loads of people find AA usefull, it's not only for alcoholics.

Good luck

I think everyone has the perception that if you're an alcoholic, you're stumbling drunk every single night, slurring your words, being inappropriate all the time. But that's not true. In fact there are far more of what they call functioning alcoholics than anyone would ever imagine. These are the people who lead perfectly normal lives, except that they cannot control their response to or craving for alcohol.

My parents were both this kind of alcoholic.

It doesn't even matter if it's not every night. If once you start drinking you CANNOT STOP until you get buzzed/drunk, then you have a problem with alcohol.

If it controls how you feel and how others feel about you and is affecting your life, then you have a problem with alcohol.

With all respect to those who said "I'm sure you're not an alcoholic" (or "you're not an alcoholic .. geeze!") ... there are times that giving positive support is good. Helping someone be in denial about something this potentially harmful is NOT helpful.

If the word "alcoholic" is a trigger point or scares you, then lets remove it from the conversation, and say instead that it sounds very much like you have an addiction or a potential addiction that you cannot control.

Please know that none of this is meant to be hurtful at all!!! I have seen lives ruined from this type of dependence/addiction and I would hate to see anyone else go through the same thing. You don't even have to talk to AA if that scares you. But please talk to someone - a doctor, a trusted teacher, a counselor, someone at your church if you go.

I hope you can get the support you need!!!

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Stop drinking and go to AA.

For now, just allow a little room in your mind for the idea that maybe you don't truly know what an alcoholic is. Go to AA meetings and talk to people. You don't have to talk in the meetings if you're shy. Talk to people before and after if you would prefer some privacy. Go to meetings and listen. Listen and talk.

I promise you if you need help you will get it and a wonderful world of possibilities will open up to you. AA is not an end, it is a beginning. You will make the kind of best friends you can't even imagine right now. Eventually you will realize you've found your real family. You'll have more fun than you could have ever imagined. You will love and be loved. Your life will change. You'll find freedom.

God bless you, honey. Please pm me if you want. I know what you're going through.

I agree that the word "alcoholic" sounds harsh... Same as "shopaholic" or "obsessive compulsive". Maybe a person shops too much or is a neat knick... Regardless of the terminology - if you have a bad habit ~ you have a bad habit. If it's causing problems in your life - break the habit. Nothing should control you, but you. If something is compelling you and it's not a habit that improves your life. Get rid of it.

Good luck to you. We're here to support you - so you can be the "best you" there is.