Trying to help my mom, need advice from big losers 100+ pounds
Ok well I talked my mom into doing "my plan" since she can't afford weight watchers and truly when she did it before it didn't do much for her. She is 5'3" and "about" 275 pounds, she is in her mid 50's. She has been heavy and getting heavier for as long as I can remember. Right now she is on disability for back problems, she walks with a cane and has a hard time with her knees (hope to help fix lot of this with weight loss). She is also diabetic and doesn't eat the way she should - at least I am pretty sure she isn't SUPPOSED to be eatting M&M's from the 5 pound bag next to her tv stand.
Anyway she has been trying to eat a little bit healthier recently (not enough to fix her weight any though) so I grabbed onto this little motivation she has and asked if I could design her a weight loss plan similar to mine. Calorie counting and exercise, complicated no? LOL She was excited to be doing something with me and I offered to buy her "prizes" for reaching goals. Like I do for myself when I reach a mile stone.
What I need to know is if there is someone out there who has lost over 100 pounds, possibly later in life, thru this method. My plan right now is to start her at 1900 calories for 6 weeks to help reset her metabolism (eating 6 times a day) and develop healthy eating habits with the right foods, and no huge hunger issues to lead her astray. I also plan on getting her to walk 3 times a day for 5 minutes each to start since she does NOTHING right now and then after 2 weeks move it up to 10 min each walk. Also some really light dumbell exercises for her arms that will increase with the walking, I don't think she could do any thing else with weights or stretches yet.
So how does that sound, similar to yours, how many calories did you start with? I really want to make this as easy AND effective as possible since she has never put a real effort in before, I want her to succeed so that she will be further motivated.
If it is possible you may want to have your mother schedule an appointment with her doctor and you and her both go there and discuss this with him and perhaps show him some sample meal plans since she does have health issues.
Its so great that you are helping your Mom!! The plan sounds good to me but I'm no expert. I love the idea that you will give her prizes. If someone would do that for me maybe I could stay in gear! May I suggest that you go through the house and weed out any tempting snacks. Its hard to resist M&M is if they are around
All the best to you and your Mom Tell her we're rooting for her!
Yeah I was thinking about going thru her house....lol help get rid of the bad stuff that might get in the way. Actually she see's her doctor all the time, and has reams of paperwork on how to eat right, but doesn't seem to follow it.
She gave me the numbers the diabetes association told her to follow but they seem just soooo low for a start. They told her to have 1500 cal with 10%fat, and 12%protein...um she will fail, I can tell you that now. I would fail and I am doing 1500-1700 calories right now.
She says when she tried to go that low on protein she doesn't feel good and she is hungry all the time. So I picked the "standard" in percentages in that we will try for (from browsing around nutrition sites and the recommendations from different health associations) 25% fat, 30% protein and 45 % carbs. She monitors her blood sugar several times a day and I am gonna keep a close eye on her, way closer than she has done for herself. As it is she will lots of times go til almost noon with no breakfast, not good for a diabetic!
Thanks for the responses. Anyone else feel free to input.
Hi,
Just wanted to say it is wonderful what you are doing for your mom!!
I also agree, get all bad snacks out of the house. I started my calorie intake hi and I've lowered it as the months have passed. Healthy snacks of course, and exercise. I also started out real slow and have worked my way up . I think you have a great plan.
cheryl
My mom is going to be 62 this month, and about five years ago, right before my wedding, she and I joined Weight Watchers together. I dropped out shortly after my wedding, but she kept going and did really well. She's about 5'2" and weighed about 275 or so. She is diabetic, has mild high blood pressure, and has severe arthritis, especially in her hands and knees. When she started, she had to use the electric carts in the grocery store or a wheel chair my sister bought for her for shopping trips. In the house, she would use a rolling desk chair in the kitchen to get around. She is also on disability for her arthritis. She lost almost 70 lbs, and her blood sugars returned to normal and she could walk much better, and hardly ever uses the electric carts. She's gained some of it back since she was hospitalized last year for water intoxication (long story, but she was drinking too much water by not counting her coffee towards her water intake, and now has kidney damage from it to boot), and quit Weight Watchers, but is back on track and losing again (she had returned to Weight Watchers, but is switching to TOPS when I told her about the group my husband and I joined several weeks ago.
If your mom would like to go to a weight loss group, TOPS is a very affordable alternative to Weight Watchers. It's $24 for the annual dues (and includes the newsletter magazine) and the chapter dues vary from group to group but average under $5 per month (our chapter is $3 per month). Our club charges a dime fine for every pound gained each week, and the biggest loser for the week takes the fines home. All chapters are a bit different in their incentives, but there are a lot of ways to earn or "win" some of your monthly dues back. In our chapter for each 10 lbs lost, a member can choose a charm or a month's free dues.
The age of members does tend to be a little older in most groups, and everyone is very friendly. Mom and I both tend to do better with a weekly weigh-in and some group support, so it's great for us. TOPS has an exchange based diet, but members are free to choose any sensible diet plan they choose. There are a lot of former WW members in our group who are still following the point plan.
As much as I love TOPS, I'm not pushing you or your mother towards it, just offering an option if you want group support, but can't afford Weight Watchers.
Food exchange plans are a good choice for diabetics and dieters, and the exchanges aren't written in stone. I read the Duke Diet, and loved that they offered two exchange plans, one traditional program based on the food pyramid, and another low carb version (differs from the TOPS plan only in that bread servings were limited to 2-3 and meat servings were increased to 7 or 8).
If you're interested in a food exchange program, there is tons of info on the web. tops.org has info and even "calorie cash" and "exchange cards" to print out to use a deal-a-meal style in meal planning and recording. You don't have to be a member to access this material.
hillbillyhousewife.com also has a lot of exchange information, including high carb, moderate carb, and low carb exchange plan options.
I also found an older book (though I see there's a recent edition) called Recipes for Diabetes, by Billie Little that has exchange plans for 1,000, 1200, 1500, 1800, 2000, 2500 and 3000 calorie diets, so there's something for every level of dieting and maintenance.
I use older Weight Watchers cookbooks (WW was an exchange based plan prior to 1997, so older cookbooks contain calorie and exchange information).
I don't know if any of this is helpful to you, but best to both you and your mom
I think its great you want to help her - but with her health issues I agree she should consult her doctor. The diabetes alone makes a proper balance of carbs, protein and fats very important.
Also - just want to get this out there - do NOT be disappointed if this fails. As you know for yourself - it is up to YOU - the individual - to take control of his/her weight. I think it's fantastic that you are helping her with a plan - support is wonderful (like we all have on here) - BUT - just because your plan worked for you does NOT mean it will work for her. There are thousands of people on this site and everyone has different ways of losing weight - and everyone had to make the decision for themselves and find their own path.
Not trying to be a downer here - just don't be upset if it does not work for her - it is not a failure on YOUR part - but would be her failure. I hope you understand what I am saying and don't get angry that I said it.
Yes I agree that she might fail at this, I am just hoping since she showed some interest to catapult her forward. Also I will be using the mass of info she has from her doctor that she has never followed. I plan on taking this week by week and adjusting to what she needs, because yes everyone is different in their needs for losing weight. That is why I tried to find similar people to get advice from until a week has passed and we can start evaluating. I might look into the tops if she decides she doesn't like counting calories, but as I said she has been on food exchanges (and supposedly is currently using one, but then gains weight cause she eats out and overeats) and over the years has been on 4 or 5 versions of those. So I am hoping that seeing the calories will mean more to her, maybe not but my choice is to continue watching her kill herself as her health deteriorates and her weight continues to creep up.
I just wanted to chime in and say good luck to both of you. Just like Colleen, I too am a member of TOPS. Like she said, membership is $24 a year and then weekly dues are different from chapter to chapter. In our chapter, it is 50 cents a week when you lose or stay the same and $1 if you gain. Still a very inexpensive program ether way
Here is a link to some simple exercises that your mom can do. http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/fact/thr_r...m?Thread_ID=27
Even if she likes calorie counting, but wants extra in-person people support and accountability of a weekly weigh-in, she can go to TOPS. You don't have to follow their diet. Calorie counting would fit right in.
I think it might help her to try to think of what is her biggest barrier. Is it going out to eat? Is it a sweet tooth?.... and go from there, either incorporating her downfall into her plan, or learning to do without it. But the biggest thing is not giving up. Usually we tend towards a habit of giving up when we hit frustrations, when maybe all we need to do is change directions a bit or try something else.
It's easier said than done, but success seems to be more a factor of not giving up than anything else.
What I need to know is if there is someone out there who has lost over 100 pounds, possibly later in life, thru this method. My plan right now is to start her at 1900 calories for 6 weeks to help reset her metabolism (eating 6 times a day) and develop healthy eating habits with the right foods, and no huge hunger issues to lead her astray. I also plan on getting her to walk 3 times a day for 5 minutes each to start since she does NOTHING right now and then after 2 weeks move it up to 10 min each walk. Also some really light dumbell exercises for her arms that will increase with the walking, I don't think she could do any thing else with weights or stretches yet.
So how does that sound, similar to yours, how many calories did you start with? I really want to make this as easy AND effective as possible since she has never put a real effort in before, I want her to succeed so that she will be further motivated.
How wonderful that you and your mom are doing this together. I think you have some great ideas to helping her get started. A few suggestions that I have:
Come up with a couple of quick, failproof meals that she can prepare in a pinch that are on plan.
If eating out is something that she will have to face early on, help her go through some menus and have at least one choice at a couple of restaurants.
Help her get rid of things like the M&Ms. Having them in the house is not a good idea.
As far as calories, I'm kind of wondering if the range is too high. The older you get, the fewer calories you need. And it sounds as if she is pretty sedentary due to her knee injury. Trial and error is, of course, the best way, but you did mention that you want her to succeed immediately, which is why I mention this. I'm with your mom on the protein. If I don't get enough, I also feel hungry (and deprived!). There is a great protein pancake recipe on this board - it has oatmeal instead of flour and lots of protein. It would make a great diabetic friendly breakfast. Good luck to her!
Thanks for the info and support, yeah I will look up the TOPS stuff more accountability for her would be great. My plan was to give her some of my suggestions for meals that will fit in with her food limitations and restrictions. For example 3 or 4 easy snacks that pack well and fit with the goals of the day, like and apple and string cheese or rye crackers and the babybel spreadable cheese lite. Or for dessert and her sweet tooth a measurement of almonds and dark chocolate.
I also planned on making her a list of "acceptable food choices" for fast food resturants since she tends to like those.
So JTammy what calorie lever did you start with for losing, since you have done so wonderfully so far...I will look up the recipe for protein pancakes, I have a hard time getting enough protein and sometimes fiber. I can not have wheat so maybe those oatmeal pancakes will work for me!
Thanks so much everyone for all your input and help!
Is your mother supposed to be controlling her diabetes with diet only, insulin shots, pills, or what? How long has she been a diabetic? How severe is it-as in, has she ever been hospitalized for high/low blood sugar comas, etc. etc. etc.
Sorry so many questions, but I am borderline/gestational diabetic, it runs in my family heavily, and my mother is a nurse and deals with this all of the time. It will really help to shape my response to you, as to what to do.
I would like to comment, though, that it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that she start following proper care for her diabetes. I know that her doctor tells her things, but some people just don't listen to their doctors. Maybe if you print this out, and let her read my response???
I am simply stating this from a relative who lost someone that they loved from diabetes...and the only reason that my aunt passed (in her early 40's) was because she didn't follow her diet and exercise properly. It was the ONLY reason for her passing.
People don't take their diabetes seriously, and in fact, it is very serious. Most bodies are capeable of processing the carbs and sugars that we eat, and keep our blood sugar in line...it has to work extra hard if we eat too much sweets or crap, but it still is able to handle the load. In a diabetic, it simply can't. When you test your blood sugar and follow your diet, the idea is to keep things in line yourself, since your body can't. When your sugar is too high or too low, it causes stress on your body. It isn't "okay" to have it high one day, and low the next. This causes stress on your entire system, and over time, causes a lot of damage to your heart, circulation-not controlling diabetes leads to heart failure, amputation of limbs, etc.
My aunt played with fire...eating what she wanted, and then overcompensating later. In her last couple years, she was in various comas, had a port in her chest, and ended up passing from heart failure. Her system just couldn't handle the highs and lows in her blood sugar for so long.
It is VERY important that she see a nutritionist recommended by her doctor. At her weight, and knowing that she will fail on a 1500 calorie plan, I would honestly talk to the doctor and nutritionist about having her put on the 1800 calorie diabetic diet. There is an 1800 plan, and it is much better than what she is currently doing (or not doing) if she cannot follow 1500.
Calories count, but with diabetics, WHAT you eat at each meal, and how much of it, also count. This is because a diabetic can only handle so many sugars and carbs at each meal-too little will cause them to have an insulin reaction if they are on insulin...and too much will cause high blood sugar. They also must have a serving of protein at each meal. You have to stay in a certain calorie count to lose weight, but at the same time, you have to eat certain amounts of protein and carbs.
I would fully, fully recommend that you support her by going to the doctor and nutritionist with her, and encourage that she follow the low calorie diabetic diet. Purge the house of M&Ms if you have to...and instead, figure out treats that she CAN have on her plan-so she doesn't feel deprived. (One of my favorites is an apple baked with Splenda and cinnamon on top, in place of apple pie.) Once you have the diabetic diet in hand, you can find diabetic recipes in books or online, that list the exchanges per serving.
I recommend that she move as well, and do whatever she can. Moving is the most important thing that she can do, to help with not only her weight, but to aid in helping the circulatory problems that diabetics often encounter.
I really encourage you to help your mother and support her during this time-and I think losing weight WITH you will help, especially if you have offered to get her rewards, etc. for milestones. I think it is also important though, to stress to her that you love her, and want her around, so that you can enjoy her.
Your mom is lucky to have a daughter like you, so willing to help her out.
You've already gotten some great advice. I am wondering though, is your mom covered to see a nutritionist or a dietician? Many plans do cover this. They can map her out a plan specifically to her needs. Keeping in mind her age, activity level and her diabetic status. They can also help tweak things when things aren't going the way they should. This really sounds to me like a big undertaking for you, and I think seeing someone would be very beneficial.
I think it's also vital that she try and move herself more. There are plenty of home DVD's geared to the elderly and those who have been inactive. I googled it and here is one link: http://www.seniors-exercise-videos.com/index.html . There are plenty of other sites as well.
As for getting in enough fiber, make sure to eat your veggies. And lots of them. Spinach, acorn squash, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, asparagus. Eat them for lunch, eat them for dinner. Then of course there's fruit - any kind of berries, pears, and apples. Make them your snack food. Beans, legumes and lentils are another great source of fiber. You can add them to salads.
Good luck to you and your mom.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-14-2007 at 07:58 AM.
Trying to help my mom, need advice from big losers 100+ pounds
but I'm no expert. I love the idea that you will give her prizes. If someone would do that for me maybe I could stay in gear! May I suggest that you go through the house and weed out any tempting snacks. Its hard to resist M&M is if they are around 
The older you get, the fewer calories you need. And it sounds as if she is pretty sedentary due to her knee injury. Trial and error is, of course, the best way, but you did mention that you want her to succeed immediately, which is why I mention this. I'm with your mom on the protein. If I don't get enough, I also feel hungry (and deprived!). There is a great protein pancake recipe on this board - it has oatmeal instead of flour and lots of protein. It would make a great diabetic friendly breakfast. Good luck to her!
