Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-26-2015, 10:26 AM   #61  
Junior Member
 
jessicadb2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 17

S/C/G: 330/324.5/115

Height: 5'6''

Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwen17 View Post
Harsh Truth:
Men don't care if you're skinny or fat as long as you have the all important female va-jj. I've never gotten further than date #1, fat or skinny. Why? Because I don't want to have sex after the first date. (I don't say anything, but I'm sure they sense I'm not super loose.) If you don't want to have sex immediately, most men aren't interested. Which is why I'll probably be a virgin for the rest of my life unless I get really lucky and meet a true gentleman who's interested in building a relationship before going all the way. I'm old-fashioned, sue me. I don't want any diseases and I think physical intimacy is something you earn thru trust and companionship.

One of the many reasons I decided to lose weight was to possibly get a skinny guy. I felt like it's only fair. I've always eye-balled the skinny guys, but I was fat. If you want a skinny mate, be fair and get skinny yourself. It can't hurt, even if it doesn't really help much.
I don't agree. I was quick to have sex and guys still weren't interested. I don't think I come across as loose as I am though.
jessicadb2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2015, 10:54 PM   #62  
Senior Member
 
Candidcamster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Houston,TX
Posts: 1,077

S/C/G: 337.7/336.8/269

Height: 5'6

Default

This is such a wonderful & important topic, and a loaded question, with great opinions on BOTH sides how diplomatic do I sound right now? I totally mean it though! lol As far as confidence goes I agree "Fortune favours the bold" no matter your size, looks, even personality to some degree. lol I think in general people are very insecure and are attracted to strong personalities. That said, I believe that in general men are very superficial or "visual" (not to say that women aren't as well, but hey we're talking about the guys) and especially before there is an emotional attachment they judge you on your looks either consciously or unconsciously when deciding if they want to date you, or possibly get serious with you. I know being skinny A. Doesn't automatically make you beautiful nor desirable to men. B. Doesn't protect you from jerks or bad relationships. However in our fat-phobic society, being smaller usually doesn't hurt, and for those who have been on both sides, normally I read it helps, a lot. If a man found me beautiful physically at 300+ lbs. would that make him a superficial dog? How about if he didn't find me physically attractive until my features came out of hiding at 150? For those who found their mates while still heavier that is great, because you won't have the headgames of "Would he be with me if I weren't thin." that many people experience when they don't find someone until they are smaller.

I want to add I'm single, and not looking however when I was 300+ lbs. I attracted very few men, and most were losers to be blunt. To those who found their significant others while overweight, just because you're overweight doesn't mean you're not (or weren't as it may be) physically appealing to your partner. This is such a complicated issue because everyone is different, you can have a room full of thin blondes of 25 yrs old and they won't all look the same or be rated the exact same on the attractiveness scale. So while I at 300+ lbs. wasn't very attractive to most men, it doesn't mean you're not at that same weight, etc. etc. .

My personal assessment is be the best you that you can be, whatever that is, no matter your size, and don't assume the worst about your looks just because you're heavy.

Last edited by Candidcamster; 07-20-2015 at 10:59 PM.
Candidcamster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2015, 09:48 PM   #63  
Bring sexy back
 
Dairy Fairy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 678

Height: 5'6"

Default

I met my husband when I was a little curvy...am at the highest weight I've ever been now. He's seen me huge and pregnant with twins, thin and healthy....everything in between. I married him and he was chunky...got up to 300 lbs and now down to 180. None of that has ever changed my love for him or attraction to him. I believe him when he says the same for me. I think if you're losing for guys, it's not the right motivation. I had a guy I was totally in love with tell me he would marry me that day if I were only thin. It was so insulting. Years later I am soon glad I was fat enough to weed him out, because what I have with my husband is sooooo much more satisfying. I want to lose weight badly, but the only factor that my husband plays into that is that I would love to live a longer life with him and be able to do more in my older age.

By the way...in being a big girl with a thin, handsome guy now LEMME TELL YOU...women are our own worst enemies. I've had people ask if I have thought about sabotaging him so he will be chunky and I can feel good again. WHAT? Why would I sabotage someone I love? I wish I were thinner than him, and I'm working on it, but I am not needing my husband to become obese for me to feel good about our relationship. I don't think it's as big of a deal as we women make it out to be.
Dairy Fairy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2015, 07:38 AM   #64  
Junior Member
 
Naja_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 8

S/C/G: 338/338/200

Height: 5'9

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelBl View Post
I was fat when I met my husband, I was fat when he married me, and I'm still fat 7 years into the marriage.

If you're looking for men that will notice you based on your BMI, you're either looking at the wrong kind of men or not looking at other aspects of yourself closely enough.

To suggest that any of us have to reach a certain BMI before we're considered attractive is insulting. I've seen plenty of women on here that are beautiful, period. To suggest otherwise sells us, and yourself, short.
Great advice.
Naja_ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2015, 11:19 AM   #65  
Started IP 11/28/12
 
amberjules's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 371

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dairy Fairy View Post
I met my husband when I was a little curvy...am at the highest weight I've ever been now. He's seen me huge and pregnant with twins, thin and healthy....everything in between. I married him and he was chunky...got up to 300 lbs and now down to 180. None of that has ever changed my love for him or attraction to him. I believe him when he says the same for me. I think if you're losing for guys, it's not the right motivation. I had a guy I was totally in love with tell me he would marry me that day if I were only thin. It was so insulting. Years later I am soon glad I was fat enough to weed him out, because what I have with my husband is sooooo much more satisfying. I want to lose weight badly, but the only factor that my husband plays into that is that I would love to live a longer life with him and be able to do more in my older age.

By the way...in being a big girl with a thin, handsome guy now LEMME TELL YOU...women are our own worst enemies. I've had people ask if I have thought about sabotaging him so he will be chunky and I can feel good again. WHAT? Why would I sabotage someone I love? I wish I were thinner than him, and I'm working on it, but I am not needing my husband to become obese for me to feel good about our relationship. I don't think it's as big of a deal as we women make it out to be.
Amazing advice here!!!! We can be our worst enemies, but we can also practice self-care and love and change that around. I remember when I lost a lot of weight I had men approaching me in the grocery stores and telling me how beautiful I was. I couldn't even hear them because I didn't believe it for myself.

That was several years ago, but now, I don't feel that way about myself. I've learned to practice self-care and love and be gentle with myself. I've learned to stop the judgement and self criticism. My world was turned upside down and inside out and I became ALIVE. Best feeling.

Now I'm open to the idea of dating again and attracting the man that loves me for me, inside and out, and I want to be attracted to him in the same way. Best feeling.
amberjules is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2017, 12:36 PM   #66  
Junior Member
 
mynameisyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 27

S/C/G: 203/172/153

Height: 5"3

Default

29.7

I remember being really excited about not being obese anymore so that increased my confidence and also when I get down to the 160's my body starts looking more of an average figure and I think people have a lot of hang ups about being overweight that they didn't see me as a fat girl anymore but just a girl.

I met my current partner when I was a bit heavier, I just find I attract more guys the healthier and more confident I am but just so happened to attract the right who knew I had a weight issue and loved me despite of it
mynameisyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2018, 10:25 AM   #67  
Junior Member
 
jwisener's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 18

S/C/G: 212/162/140

Height: 5'4"

Default

I was getting lots of interest when I was at my heaviest! 212 lbs, a BMI of 36.4
I met my now-husband at my heaviest weight, though, so I cannot comment on since I've lost 50 lbs. He loved me just as much at my heaviest as he has at my current (and lowest) weight.
jwisener is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:09 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.