My mom and I just got in a fight, and I really feel bad because well... she's right.
I've been looking at my body lately. I definitely still have weight to lose, but the majority of the problem areas on my body are skin, not fat. I know I haven't been going to the gym as much as I should have over this year, and it kind of makes me feel like a failure. Like I only lost the weight, but I still look like crap. And I know that if I had gone to the gym and lifted weights and done all the things you're SUPPOSED to, I'd probably look a lot better right now. But I didn't and I don't, and now I have all this loose skin and I don't know how to fix it.
I've been trying to get back into going to the gym but it just seems so overwhelming; how much exercise do I have to do to get what I want? I don't want to be a slave to dieting and exercise. I'm not a fitness buff. I don't want to spend hours at the gym trying to achieve a goal that I don't even know if I can achieve. The only alternative I know of is to get plastic surgery, and I don't have money for that either.
I talk to my mom about this all the time, and she tells me all the same stuff you guys have. "You have to go to the gym, you have to firm up your body, you have to do this stuff or you're not going to achieve your goals." And I have a really bad habit of complaining and not fixing what I'm complaining about, but it's mostly cause I'm scared that no matter how hard I work, I still won't get to where I want to be. It's not like studying for a test or saving money for a trip, it's trying to achieve a body I may never be able to achieve. I'm scared that no matter what I do, I won't be happy.
She doesn't know how to fix that, and neither do I. And I don't know what to do. And I feel really bad that I hurt her feelings -- she wants to help me but she knows she can't, and she knows my "demon" is only myself. I am my own worst enemy.
So if somebody could please kick me in the *** or slap me across the face or do something... anything. Even if it's just "Shut up and go to the gym and quit your whining", I need it. Thanks.