Yes..It is a personal (aka sex) question for ya'll
Ever since my weight loss and now having excess skin...well..just about everywhere. I find sex to be painful - and I am not talking about down there pain. With all the excess skin I find that no matter what position is experimented with my skin is prone to either be rubbed raw or even torn. HELP!
OK I am done and embarressed. But I cannot be the only one with this problem.
you dont need to necessarily say how the skin is gettin rubbed - maybe during exercise??? but definatly try doing some weight training if you dont already do so. Surgery might end up being an option. Good luck.
you dont need to necessarily say how the skin is gettin rubbed - maybe during exercise??? but definatly try doing some weight training if you dont already do so. Surgery might end up being an option. Good luck.
there is no problem with being direct with her question. SHe's fine.
Since rubbing is an issue, making the skin as smooth/slippery as possible ought to help. While you work out long-term solutions, perhaps try massage oils. Moisturizer may help too. Applying oils could be included as a part of foreplay as well.
I agree with directness being perfectly fine. I don't have this problem but the oil/lotion idea sounds good. I know financially surgery is not an option for all and it is not an immediate help anyway. Keep experimenting - lol !
Whats the big deal talking about sex directly? I think that is an important part of the problem. If it were during exercise i would recommend something different than rubbing during sex. Geeze. Like sex is some freaky taboo thing, lol lol
Anyway. I think the ky lubes should do the trick and be fun in the process. Some are flavored, some are tingling...enjoy.
I think the flavored and tingling lubricants sound awesome! I know there is a store called Party Central here that is a "party" store and they have an adult area that has LOTS of fun stuff like that.
I would also say experiment...
I also think sex is alright to talk about. It's an issue we all deal with or will eventually deal with, why not?
you dont need to necessarily say how the skin is gettin rubbed - maybe during exercise???<<
i don't think chickadee was commenting on your asking the question here. i think she meant the "don't need to necessarily say how the skin is gettin rubbed" thing to refer to the title she used - "have you tried talking to your doctor?" a lot of people are embarrassed to talk about stuff like that with their doctors.
Ophelia , If I understand correctly it's not just the skin "down there" that is getting squished. Correct me if I'm wrong.
One thing DH and I do is give each other total body massages with lotion as part of foreplay. Both of us being a little more slippery is a good thing. The KY lubricant works well for the "down there" lubrication.
I don't really have a problem with skin chafing during sex. But, since losing wt. I have discovered that some positions are very painful for me. This may be TMI for some people, but the grinding of bones hurts. (My DH is slender also). The worst pain for me is in my xyphoid, my hips and my pelvic bone.
I don't think it's embarassing to talk about sex and I think you have a very valid concern. Hope we can be of help. Don't ever be too embarassed to ask a question. With all of us here, I'm sure someone else may be having the same problem.
A few suggestions: try putting a litte baby oil in your bath water to help keep your skin from not being so dry. Also use less hot water as it is known to make the skin drier. Make sure and drink lots and lots of water (if you don't already). I have problems with frequent skin rash and dryness and this is what I do to help.
Oops, accidentally sent before finishing. Anyway, I meant to add that the book is out of print, but could be ordered through any library, or bought new/used from amazon (starting at about 15.00). It is rather explicit and includes information for same sex as well as heterosexual couples, and is written from a fat acceptance point of view so if you're offended by any of that on principle, just thought you should be warned.
Still, it has great advice on the special accomodations that can make sex more comfortable for bigger bodies. To be blunt here, as the subject deserves, my husband and I are both very large. We've dealt with issues of skin rubbing, joint pain, and positions that allow both of us to be able to breathe during sex (not something a normal sized person often has to think of, but any pressure on my rib cage and I can't breathe, heck if hubby throws his arm across my back while I'm sleeping, I wake up struggling for breath).
I think the author is a little "in your face," for my tastes, but it has so much good information in it, and since it's the only book of it's kind (at least that I've ever found), so I think it's worth overlooking the parts of the book that are written from a point of view that I don't necessarily endorse.
Colleen, thanks for informing us of this book. I have a very close friend that says she always feels like her DH is suffocating her. I will let her know about this book, it might be able to help her. When I was at my heavier wt., I felt the same way.
I for one think anyone who is all omg SEX.. shouldn't be having it if your going to be all tight about it. You seen the title don't come in if you don't like what is being discussed.
I think the lub/lotion idea is a good one, but I was also thinking about something else to go along with this. It might sound weird.. But I was thinking of something like a bathing suit or some sort of body suit that will keep the excess skin closer to the body. You could cut out the crotch and the boob area so all that can still be accessed but the skin won't be hanging to be pulled.
Maybe that is just an out of this world idea, but I don't think anyone else mentioned it. It just might work.. Use the lube and such along with it if you do try it.
Ohhh and I just thought of a body suit like the see though hose type.. sexy and yet it's still keeping that skin in check. Hope my idea helps.
Last edited by broken wings; 07-24-2007 at 06:09 AM.
Reason: another idea..sexier
Yes..It is a personal (aka sex) question for ya'll
