Now that I'm down 50 lbs (2/3 of the way to my goal), everyone I know is making comments ("Wow, you look great!"). I'm glad to know that people notice, and I'm happy to talk about my motivation to lose the weight, and my improved eating and exercise habits.
However, it's really throwing me for a loop when I mention that I have another 25 lbs more to lose - the response I get is "No way! You look great the way you are." This is coming from dear, kind friends who are a healthy weight - and they aren't responding out of envy or any other unkind motive.
How should I handle these comments? Should I just say "thank you" to their compliments and not tag on the part about having more weight to lose?
I'll appreciate your collective wisdom!
Last edited by bethel; 06-11-2007 at 08:59 PM.
Reason: typos
It is funny that you mention that though. When i lost 115 pounds before, i started at 308, got down to 193. Now 193 is by NO MEANS thin, but people would tell me i was looking gaunt, too thin, etc. I think it is just that they are SO used to seeing you overweight that when you start to look thinner, TO THEM, it is such a change that they see you as smaller than you are. That is how i took it anyway. So i just didnt tell anyone how much more i needed to lose. I just told them how much i had lost when they asked. I, like you, still had 50 pounds or so to lose. And i knew what my waist measurement should be and it was still 38 inches, so *I* knew i still had a lot more to lose. So, to keep the uncomfortable judgements at bay, i would just keep mum at how much more you have to go but definately be proud of what you have lost. WTG.
Congratulations on the wt. loss. WTG. I had people telling me when I was at 175 lbs. that there was no way that I needed to lose 30 more lbs. They were'n't trying to be mean, they honestly thought that would make me "too skinny". But, it didn't and I'm glad I didn't listen to them. When friends and family started to ask "when are you gonna quit losing weight?", I finally got to where I'd just say, "I'll know when I get there". By all means, you owe it to yourself not to anyone else to be healthy and comfortable in your body.
I agree with the other posters - there's no reason to share the final goal with most folks, they will only respond as you've already seen them do. I've talked over my goal weight with a few close friends, but mostly, I just act noncommital when the subject comes up. And frankly, I'm not even sure myself when I'm going to move to maintenance mode...I have a few targets (wanting to match my drivers license and wanting to fit into the dress I wore to my brother's wedding), but I'm really just going to see how it goes as I get closer to these targets.
From what I've noticed, it's either people who're secretly jealous (though I know you mentioned it's not the case here), or indeed people who're so used to see you overweight that the change, as slow as it may have been, still takes some time to register. In my case, I've lost pretty much any kind of extra weight in my face, so my family tends to think I 'look thin', when in fact the hardest path remains to tread (getting rid of the butt/belly/thighs accumulated before I was 14 ); but by no means would I consider myself as 'thing, 'gaunt' or, even more pissing, 'anorexic' (isn't THAT comment insulting, by the way?). A family member even said the other day "look, there's some weird space between your thighs and crotch now", and I had to confirm her that this was, erm, normal.
Anyway, congratulations on the 50 lbs lost! That's a really great accomplishment, and I hope you'll get where you want to be without too many comments in the future.
Agreed, when I really want to share that I still have more to lose, I give a pretty generic, "Thanks; still a work in progress, though." I'm pretty vague about my whole weight-loss ordeal in general as well, since I know other people (esp. those who looked the same weight the whole time) are probably not interested in hearing as I go on and on about my routine/program (which also may not be the best plan for them.)
Congratulations on the incredible weightloss - keep up the good work!!
In the beginning when I was getting compliments I would say, "Thank you, but I've got a long way to go." As I was getting smaller and smaller (and not even so small) that line just brought about, "No way, where would you lose it from?" "You don't want to get too skinny now, do you?". So I just say "Thank you so much, it was a long time in coming." And that's that. No need to say anything else.
A family member even said the other day "look, there's some weird space between your thighs and crotch now", and I had to confirm her that this was, erm, normal.
Kery, that was FUNNY!
The thing that I've noticed is that my thighs no longer "slap and clap" together when I'm walking in shorts. I no longer want to buy stock in "anti-chafing" powders!
Thanks to everyone for your words of wisdom - you have certainly helped me with your insights and strategies.
In the beginning when I was getting compliments I would say, "Thank you, but I've got a long way to go." As I was getting smaller and smaller (and not even so small) that line just brought about, "No way, where would you lose it from?" "You don't want to get too skinny now, do you?". So I just say "Thank you so much, it was a long time in coming." And that's that. No need to say anything else.
I think that's really key. I have a tendency to be self-deprecating with my weight loss too and feel I have to qualify my success with pointing out that I realize I still have some more to lose.
I've recently started answering compliments on my weight loss with a simple "thanks, I do feel much better these days". I get a lot less of those "don't lose anymore" comments than I did when I answered with "thanks, but there is more to go".
congrats on the 50 lost. I can't wait to hit that mark!! I agree with not telling people you have more to go. I have only lost 38 and people at my work "warn" me not to get too thin. When i tell them i want to lose another 28-38 they think that is too little for me. Then I have to "comfort" them with the "it's just a number. i'll know what's right when i get to it....but i had to find some number to shoot for". My family hasn't really said a word about my weightloss....just the good folks at work. I actually had a guy tell me when I said i had another 30 pounds to lose, that there went his fantasy!!! how funny is that??????
But to answer your question, i would just say thank you and leave it at that. And if they notice you losing more weight, just emphasize you are just eating healthy and trying to keep in shape with excersize and if you are still losing weight, it must just be meant to be!!
A family member even said the other day "look, there's some weird space between your thighs and crotch now", and I had to confirm her that this was, erm, normal.
HA! I once told my best friend that that was one of my goals and she said "Charlotte, that is not normal, nobody is like that." Uh, yeah, my marathon-running best friend. But she thought that was a sign that I was trying to be sickly thin.
I am sure they mean the best. But, as always, you have your own goals and know what you are going to be comfortable with so you just keep on keeping on! You are doing so well!
HA! I once told my best friend that that was one of my goals and she said "Charlotte, that is not normal, nobody is like that." Uh, yeah, my marathon-running best friend. But she thought that was a sign that I was trying to be sickly thin.
Well a *little* space is still normal in my opinion (I know quite an amount of thin people who are that way, and they're nowhere near to rail thin). Of course, when your thighs are as large as your elbows only, then there's a matter to worry, but I very much doubt this would be one of your goals.
Now, seriously, thighs are NOT supposed to rub, right?
How do you handle this?
); but by no means would I consider myself as 'thing, 'gaunt' or, even more pissing, 'anorexic' (isn't THAT comment insulting, by the way?). A family member even said the other day "look, there's some weird space between your thighs and crotch now", and I had to confirm her that this was, erm, normal. 
