I began reading Jillian's book last night---love it!!! She talked about diet sabotagers, and I have one. I think my problem is, when I try to eat healthy and work-out, I tell me close friends and boyfriend. I am merely looking for support from them---but a year ago---I got soooo much more!!!!! To explain, I needed to lose about 30 pounds. I am only 5' 2" tall, so it truly looks like I am carrying a lot of weight on my frame. Last year, I went to WeightWatchers, and within 4 months I lost 30 pounds!!! I was also going to the gym 5 days each week-------my friends went crazy----they said I looked wonderful!!!! But then there is the boyfriend, Brian. I walked in to his house one day in my size 6 jeans---he took one look at me and said "You need to quit losing weight---your skin looks saggy!!!! I was so hurt by his comment. I couldn't figure out if he was jealous or just mean!!!! And since I am an emotional eater, I slowly ate my way back to 30 pounds overweight!!!! I really hate myself right now. I asked everyone, including my doctor, if my skin was sagging, and they all said "No! You look great!!" I don't want to go through that again. After I bought Jillian's book yesterday, I told my boyfriend and he said, "Oh, great---another diet book--what a waste of money!!!! Someitmes I find it hard to improve my health without support. But if I truly want to do this for me----than I guess I need to be my own support. Sorry to go on and on----I just wanted to vent. Thanks----Sue
My hubby is the same--he tells me I need to lose weight and is very supportive at first but as soon as I start to lose his insecurities kick in and then he starts with the stupid--"are you trying to find someone else" and other such nonsense. This time I am not going to stress/guilt me into eating. He's not happy when I weigh more and he's not happy when I lose---so he's going to have to deal with it because I want to be healthy and not huff and puff at the slightest bit of exercise, and I want to be able to do more than 5 minutes on the elliptical without feeling like I am going to pass out and I want to go into a store to try on clothes and not feel like crying.....
My hubby knows that I like wine and when I drink it..I tend to drink a lot of it! So I limit myself to one night a week. BUT for the longest time he would say..how about some wine, or this meal would go great with wine..that type of thing. Not to sabotage but more to perhaps make me more amourous?...anyway it didnt click with me that this was going on.
I really dont think about wine unless its mentioned and then I think yes I would like some..so once it clicked with me..I told him not to offer me wine again EVER..unless I asked for it.
I see him catching himself occasionally.
But meantime it works for me..I drink wine one night a week and I allow for that the rest of the week. And thats it.
If I didnt have it at all I wouldnt last on my CALORIE QUEENS plan cus I enjoy it..
This way I lose weight and get my night where I have some wine and perhaps a richer meal than usual.
Yeah, husband problem here too. For some reason, he thinks I am not eating. I DO EAT!! I watch my portions, eat more fruits/veggies, rarely snack, etc.... But in his mind, he thinks I am not eating.
Around holidays, he buys chocolate..my weakness. But I try my best and iF I do over indulge, I am so guilty about it, I drink tons of water and exercise longer.
Now, since I am starting all over with my exercise program and my meal planning, chocolate is still in...but 2 times a week, after my dinner meal. Even though I am diabetic, (my gluclose is under control) my nutritionist says it's okay.
My Mom went bananas about some photos I sent her in October, and then sent me a huge box of Halloween candy to congratulate me . And this is a woman who has never sent me food in her LIFE.
And my boss is either a joker or a saboteur or both. He's always trying to get me to eat the pizza he gets delivered on Thursdays. And this is a man on ATKINS. He says he doesn't believe me that I've lost 40+ lbs, and wants to see what I look like chubby. But I know he's not SERIOUSLY trying to sabotage me....he just thinks he's a comedian and has been getting pizza on Thursdays for years.
My Mom, however, is trying to sabotage me. Although I honestly think it's a subconscious thing with her. She's always been "the skinny one," and I've always been heavy. I don't think she's all the comfortable with me thinnish, despite how "excited" she acts.
I have discovered to my dismay the biggest saboteur is ME..... one of my daughters is bad; she brings me all sorts of edibles I should not have and NEVER have in my house as I cannot resist; but I am the biggest and worst of them all. I found this shocking and upsetting to realize and accept. I have to work harder to overxome this inner flaw. As if I needed any more flaws in my lifelong dieting routine.
The first step to solving any problem is recognizing it is a problem. The second step is formulate a plan. and then implement it. I am up 3 lbs and worried this is the beginning of a trend.
I began reading Jillian's book last night---love it!!! She talked about diet sabotagers, and I have one. I think my problem is, when I try to eat healthy and work-out, I tell me close friends and boyfriend. I am merely looking for support from them---but a year ago---I got soooo much more!!!!! To explain, I needed to lose about 30 pounds. I am only 5' 2" tall, so it truly looks like I am carrying a lot of weight on my frame. Last year, I went to WeightWatchers, and within 4 months I lost 30 pounds!!! I was also going to the gym 5 days each week-------my friends went crazy----they said I looked wonderful!!!! But then there is the boyfriend, Brian. I walked in to his house one day in my size 6 jeans---he took one look at me and said "You need to quit losing weight---your skin looks saggy!!!! I was so hurt by his comment. I couldn't figure out if he was jealous or just mean!!!! And since I am an emotional eater, I slowly ate my way back to 30 pounds overweight!!!! I really hate myself right now. I asked everyone, including my doctor, if my skin was sagging, and they all said "No! You look great!!" I don't want to go through that again. After I bought Jillian's book yesterday, I told my boyfriend and he said, "Oh, great---another diet book--what a waste of money!!!! Someitmes I find it hard to improve my health without support. But if I truly want to do this for me----than I guess I need to be my own support. Sorry to go on and on----I just wanted to vent. Thanks----Sue
Hi Sue!
It sounds like you have been with Brian a long time...have you told him how his mean words make you feel? I don't know what the rest of the relationship is like...but it might do with some counseling if you are considering marriage...he really has no right to talk to you that way.
I read Jillian's book, too - here what she has to say about how to deal with this type of saboteur. (page 24) "If you have tried everything and this person fails to respond, you might want to reconsider the relationship. Maybe this is someone who doesn't want what's best for you."
From the other side - if you know why he has this attitiude, you might want to try not to take it so personally. Hating yourself because of what someone says to you is a problem. You have to be doing this for yourself if you want to succeed long term.
I hope everything goes well with you...
Last edited by chick_in_the_hat; 12-16-2005 at 04:30 PM.
My dad is the same way!
I ask him and my mom to let me make a seperate shopping list that has a few staples that are needed for me to eat healthier. It is proabably 10 extra things that we could all (my sister and parents) eat. They always get mad
at me about the extra money they have to spend which is very aggrivating becasue whats more importnat spending money on food- or me being helathy and decreasing my risk of heart disease, cancer and diabetes (which all run in my family!) It gets me so angry! So then I have no healthy snacks in the house and when they see me eating something unhealthy they yell at me and then I say "you won't buy the extra food so I have to eat the stuff you bought" They won't listen to me though and I don;t know what to do. How can lose weight if my family will not support me, and they don't buy the proper foods.
Location: Somewhere you've never heard of, Australia
Posts: 10
I found that instead of relying on anyone else I did it myself. I found that letting people know what I was doing gave them opportunity to put me down. I also found the biggest sabetour was me, 'cos no-one(except really strange people) feels like working out and eating well every day.
I just did my research and my workouts in my own time and watched what I ate. And it worked. (still not finished, I just like the carrot )
The things that have helped me is not letting anyone else set my portion size, and if I am having something good to make sure I even it out in the next day or so.
I found that instead of relying on anyone else I did it myself. I found that letting people know what I was doing gave them opportunity to put me down. I also found the biggest sabetour was me, 'cos no-one(except really strange people) feels like working out and eating well every day.
I just did my research and my workouts in my own time and watched what I ate. And it worked. (still not finished, I just like the carrot )
The things that have helped me is not letting anyone else set my portion size, and if I am having something good to make sure I even it out in the next day or so.
That's EXACTLY what I am doing. I don't even want to mention some of the reactions I got at losing weight.. some of them dumbfounded me-- even though my dad has made "on-the-low" comments that I should. It's crazy, it blew my mind.
That always held me back -- other people's comments. So this time I am on my own, I only tell people how much I have lost if they ask, that's it and it's certainly working!!
When "The Swan" aired, I told hubby that I wanted to be a part of the show. I wanted to lose weight, have Lasik surgery and some more procedures. He said "Why..you would leave me if you had all that stuff done." Thats not true and it hurt my feelings.
My MIL weighs 80 lbs and is convinced everyone over 100 lbs is in her words "Fat as a hog". So you can imagine how she feels towards me with what I weigh.
80-100lb That is insane! Thats only roughly 40-50kg! OMG Im 6ft tall if i weighed that much i would pretty much be dead! Or at least a walking skeleton! Keep away from your mother in law!
MIL is clueless....maybe she just doesn't really know what 100 lbs looks like?
Kamily - I'm sorry DH hurt your feelings. Did you try and talk to him about why he thinks that? It is a fairly common problem. But IMO it has more to do with his insecurity than anything to do with you.
I have discovered that my sabotager are respectively 4 and 8 years old. They are constantly offering me food. Guess I have already managed to teach them that food is love. Wonder if I can teach them the exercising is also love?
Do you have a diet sabotager in your life?
. And this is a woman who has never sent me food in her LIFE.
(still not finished, I just like the carrot
)
to make sure I even it out in the next day or so.
