wow yall have been busy...i'll have to go back a few pages to catch up when i get time. hubby is asleep still, didnt come home from the neighbor's house till about 3am, he thinks....need to get the kids downstairs for breakfast. i'm about to clean the downstairs and finish the laundry i started yesterday. i got busy baking a cake for hubby and making homemade mashed potatoes to take to the neighbor's last night for dinner (they smoked a turkey and made stuffing and all, like a thanksgiving meal)

lol and i didnt finish yesterday's chores.
i weighed in this morning, 138.8 lbs, so i gained .8 lbs but i'm happy with that considering i am dealing with TOM and hubby leaves next sunday morning to drive to Maryland for school (BNCOC) for two months...so am trying to keep him happy lately with a clean house and clothes, etc......but nothign seems to work. he still likes to pick on me and down me in front of our friends, whether i'm standing there or not. so they know everything i do wrong. but when i confront him about it he gets mad and walks off (to hang out with them and i'm left here in the house with the kids)....go figure. he wants me to have more of a backbone to him and stand up to him but when i do, he gets mad, but then says (to everyone) how he wishes i would stand my ground, so seems either way i cant win, so i stop trying. i wrote all my feelings about things down last night in a notebook....but he'll probably never read it cuz he'd get mad....but its slowly getting it out of my system, i'm hoping if i write it all out (for myself) then maybe i'll feel like i'm doing something, at least till i think he'll listen without getting mad. he says anythign he wants to me (regardless of feelings) and expects me to take it happily and not cry (which i ususally do cry)....but i cant do the same to him.,...what a double standard. it feels like we're on a one way street instead of a two way.....oh well. maybe him being gone for 2 months will make him understand how i feel and maybe appreciate me more. i can hope, right?!
anyway. need to start my day before he wakes up and i dont get anything done.