[onebyone]

Hello Wise Coaches

I felt pretty good today. I lost my voice but my throat didn't (and still doesn't) hurt. Today that was a good trade-off.
But a few hours ago I noticed pain around my left ear. Now it just hurts so maybe I have an earache. Maybe something worse. I'm going to see if I can get in to see my Dr. tomorrow.

I asked DH to take some photos of the area behind my ear. I was looking for redness as an indication of mastoiditis. (I confess I have consulted Dr Google a few times this evening.) He took the pictures and I could see some red, maybe. Maybe it was shadow. Maybe. I couldn't see it clearly because I have fat behind and around my ears so it's got folds and I can't see what's going on. Everyday I am reminded how these extra layers of fat are obscuring details and clues my body could show a Dr. I am making it much harder to get a diagnosis. I am deeply disturbed by this when I think on it and I am sad sad sad that I "let myself go" this much. Are these sabotaging thoughts? I don't know. I think they are real life consequences of having layers of flesh overtop of bones, organs and muscles. How to turn this around? Well, berating myself is not a good place to start. That I know.
And that's how I am today.
Most of the day was good.
Food was okay. Not in the weightloss realm but inching closer. You'd think I'd be running towards health? Well, maybe you aren't thinking that, but I am. Why am I not motivated to move fast and lose weight asap! It's like I'm afraid to dip my toe in the weightloss waters again. I'm asking for the willingness to take the first step. First step was coming here truth be told. Now what I wonder? What will work? What am I willing to do on repeat? Good questions for these days of limbo, this liminal space, between Xmas and New Years.

billblueeyes I took a covid test last night with our lime green coloured free covid test kits. This past week Global News broke a story about these kits. My test said I was negative... was I??
https://globalnews.ca/news/10183219/...pplier-canada/

I send a hug to those of us here and also to you, dear silent reader.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Continue to get a positive COVID-19 test result. I was still surprised since some of the physical symptoms are decreased. I continue to experience some COVID brain fog - a non-medical term for patients reporting their own fuzzy, less precise thinking. The good news: I completed a transaction with my retirement funds manager with multiple conversations, scanning and emailing. I've done this before. This time it was a challenge to keep up. The tension is that the IRS is quite certain when I'm going to die, statistically, and are adamant that I not escape mortal Earth with non-taxed dollars in my retirement fund. I believe in paying my share of taxes, but wish to hedge that I (we) might linger statistically longer and wish to have coin in pocket to do so.

Had some dahl for dinner again - the last of the batch. CREDIT moi for eating some food.


onebyone - Good news that you'll try to see your doctor. Google information can drive me bonkers; I self-diagnose with all diseases. I wish you well confronting your body image. We're all here to support your movement forward. I listened to the whole Canadian COVID test report. That testing has False Negatives and False Positives is a known challenge. Manipulating test data should be a crime.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Fresh snow is just strikingly lovely. Neat that you tested out you winter gear.

Silverbirch - Those Japanese anemones are a delight. When my FIL was wheelchair bound in his final years, I once pushed him around the block of his long-time home and he pointed out all the neighbor's plants that had started from clumps from his gardens.

curlyjax - It's good to complete fiddly jobs such as cleaning cookie cutters and stripping rotisserie chicken. You're a thoughtful mom to leave food for your DS to eat while you're at work.

Readers -

Chapter 8 Stage 5 - The Motivation-for-Life Plan
The following techniques will help you respond to your sabotaging thoughts.

We talked about specific situations she was afraid might arise (a man at a bar trying to persuade her to have another drink or leave with him; a blind date that wasn't turning out well). We role-played what she could say in these situations, and her fears decreased significantly when she realized that she could handle them.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 196.

[curlyjax]

Work was quite uneventful. There were only 3 of us and we chatted a lot and ended up ordering pizza for lunch, so it was a pleasant day.I got most of the Christmas trash out, and later on collected a ton of boxes in one section of the basement that DS can bring to the dump at some point for recycling. I also cleared away the area near the boiler as its going to be replaced next week; it was good to get most of that done. I ate my salad for dinner plus some dessert but didn't do too badly. I'm going to focus on drinking more water, eating slowly, eating only when hungry and stopping at 8:00 at night.
One of the checks I wrote for my dad's helper hasn't arrived yet and was supposed to be delivered 2 days ago-they know this as they have signed up with the post office to get emails about their incoming mail. I had no idea you could do that! So I will call the bank about that today.
Onebyone-I hear you about letting yourself go, I am in hip pain partially because of that and i'm so mad at myself. As Bill said we are here to support you! Every day is a new beginning.

[silverbirch]

I’m rather out of sorts today. I made some Moroccan flatbread. I can’t find my recipe, we don’t have some of the ingredients, I experimented (by adding buckwheat flour) and the result was pretty poor. But after I’d got the dough going, my sister’s Christmas present arrived - fabulous cheese. We had it for lunch and I forgot that too much bread and too much cheese don’t suit my tummy. It was great at the time. And we finished the box of chocolates (two each) and my secret stash (small bar). Also not great for my insides. So not very satisfactory. The hot bin has lost heat and the motion detector on the outside light is a problem to be solved. The DD has gone off on thrilling young person adventures. There isn’t a bath here which is my solution for feeling out of sorts. That’s probably all. Oh, I pruned another rose and cut back some more anemones. An hour in the drizzle which lifted my spirits a bit. I’ve worked out where I’m going to clear them - they would like to take over an entire border and have already hopped over the wall onto the pavement. Thugs, I tell you. Opportunists. Thanks for listening. Tomorrow will be different and better.

gardenerjoy, lovely to hear about bundling up and getting out for a walk in the snow. Your mid 30s (just above zero C) is a great temperature to be out and about in.

onebyone, glad you felt a bit better again! Yes, we’re here for you. Let’s chat and splash our feet in the weightloss waters for a bit. Get comfortable with the space. Sit on the edge of the pool with your new waterwings on. These Pippi Longstocking ones are nice. (I hope you can see them in Canada.)

Bill, that’s entirely fair to want to have a few coins in your pocket for when you beat the statistical average allocated to you by the IRS. Credit for making the transaction. That's a lovely picture of your FIL seeing the fruits of his gardens in other gardens!

curlyjax, credit for a great list of things to focus on. I will focus on sitting down to eat.

Wave to everyone!

[gardenerjoy]

I'm enjoying this liminal (good word, onebyone!) time and putting a lot of thought into what I want to do with 2024 when it arrives. But, I'm not thinking too long or hard about it and keep allowing myself to be distracted by other things.

I transitioned to my previous Ideal Food Day breakfast this morning. I'm sick of smoothies. We'll see how the scale responds and I'll compensate as necessary.

Exercise: 60, 1625/1800 minutes for December

onebyone: I know the feeling of being afraid to commit to things that have failed in the past. And yet, eventually, some of those things do succeed. The previous times were practice for the time that I actually did it, apparently.

BillBlueEyes: I'm glad that the physical symptoms have decreased. Back when we had COVID in August, maryann told a story about someone who went to the ER for an unrelated reason a few weeks after COVID and the doctor didn't even bother to test the patient for COVID because so many people with that variant tested positive long after symptoms were gone. I was glad when DH finally tested negative at about Day 15 so that I didn't have to guess when to go back into public spaces.

curlyjax: I always liked workplaces in that time between Christmas and New Year's -- especially the year that I worked on a college campus. I got so much done! And those of us who did show up to work had a good time, too.

silverbirch: That does sound like one of those bad days where things just pile on one at a time until it's too much. Tomorrow will be better!

[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches, from Stateside.

All is well and the vacation was all I hoped it would be. Slept until 1 pm today. I have opened the mail and enjoyed the Xmas cards, tidied up, and will venture into the store to get some basic food supplies. I made a list of to dos and am reveling in the fact that I don't have to go back to school until the 8th. That is just the best to be able to have a vacation after a vacation.

Weight was exactly the same as when I left. I call that win. Yoga most days.

BBE: I believe I said this before but the doctors told my mom they wouldn't even test after 9 days befacue the test is too inaccurate. After 9 days, if you are symptom free, they consider the patient safe.
Joy: I am thinking of 2024 as well. I have a few few fun ideas to pursue.
Silverbirch.: Are you totally out of the old house?
Curly: Enjoy the lull at work.

[onebyone]

Coaches

I thought I wouldn't get a post in today but here Iam I tried to sleep in tbe bed but i am still too congested even with new puffy pillows. I'm back on the loveseat.

I see my dr at 9am. Happy to go there. Then its a day at the artist co op. We're finished there on tbe 30th. Cant wait. Ill update after tne appointment in tbe morning.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Continue to get a positive COVID-19 test result. After hearing stories here and elsewhere, I am not surprised. I am resigned that it will run its course. Reluctantly, but realistically, we switched our tickets from attending a live performance on New Year's Day to a live streaming performance watched from home. <sigh> Actually, we purchased new tickets for the live stream and then were gently led through our options for the other tickets: Refund, Credit, or Donation. It's a group we support and know to always be on the cusp of starvation. The obvious happened. "We'll send you a letter thanking you for your kind donation," the silk-talking young-thing said. I had to laugh at how smoothly they pulled off that dance.

We're out of dahl. DW make a pot of a zucchini and chicken thigh stew. Exquisite spices added to the seventeen ingredients. We assume it's a good sign that we could smell and taste it; one of the symptoms of COVID is loss of both smell and taste.

DS heroically made a run to the supermarket for us. I was bracing to learn how to use a delivery service. This allows us to slip by without going out.


onebyone - Hope you can get some sleep before your doctor's appointment.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Thanks for using "liminal time" - it is a lovely word. Noting that your DH tested negative on day 15. At least that's a goal to think about.

Silverbirch - LOL at "Thugs, I tell you. Opportunists." Yep, so many plants ready to multiply and cover the earth. Lifting your spirits by pruning a rose in the drizzling rain is a lovely thought.

maryann – Welcome home! Super Congrats for pulling off an amazing vacation adventure. Thanks for the word from your mom's doctor, "After 9 days, if you are symptom free, they consider the patient safe."

curlyjax - Getting email from the USPS about incoming mail is new to me. Would be useful for just the situation you're describing - when expecting a check. Fun thought that you have a corner of the basement that your DS will empty of boxes.

Readers -

Chapter 8 Stage 5 - The Motivation-for-Life Plan
The following techniques will help you respond to your sabotaging thoughts.

Ben was afraid he wouldn't know who he was if he lost weight because he had been overweight his whole life.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 196.

[curlyjax]

I actually had a client to help yesterday so that filled up some time. Sometimes people just need to have someone listen to them and be nice, when they're feeling overwhelmed. I did not eat anything but the lunch I brought, credit me. DS did indeed take out all the boxes to the dump and the basement is looking a little better. We passed each other in separate cars near the bank and he pulled over to tell me one of the tellers figured out I was his mom and complimented me, which was sweet. My hip and the side of my leg really hurt so I gave up doing anything productive but oh well, I ate a little more of the Christmas sweets but managed to go to bed mildly hungry so that's a win.
Bill-too bad to miss the live performance but yay for being able to stream it. I have used the delivery service from Wegmans and it is handy when needed.
Maryann- yay for a great trip and having some downtime to recuperate after, that is the best!
Silverbirch- I feel you, I have definitely overdone it with bread and cheese myself, the stuff of life! Love the waterwings!
Gardenerjoy-good to have more than one ideal breakfast lined up.
Onebyone-have fun at the artist coop.

[gardenerjoy]

DH's cold symptoms are better but he's been coughing so hard that he hurt his back. We got on top of that with ice and naproxen and it hasn't as bad as he feared in the middle of the night, so I hope he can get back to functionality soon. Part of his non-functionality is a lack of energy / ability to do his part in our joint cooking efforts. This has resulted in more take-out and leftovers than I planned. That does not need to result in abandoning the plan. I just want to be more flexible about it.

Exercise: 50, 1675/1800 minutes for December

onebyone: I hope the doctor's appointment is helpful.

BillBlueEyes: Credit for raising a DS who is both willing and capable of making a grocery run for you.

silverbirch: I hope that today was, indeed, better.

maryann: Welcome home! That is a wonderful treat to have time off after a vacation to recover and reset.

curlyjax: It definitely helps to have someone nice to talk to when we're overwhelmed. Good for you for being that person for someone yesterday. I hope you can find some relief from the hip pain.

[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches.

Woke up at 10 am. So I am easing back into normal. I ate almost nothing yesterday. Wow. That is unusual. My body clock is probably so messed up it thought I was sleeping. I did drink some chicken broth which tasted ooh so good. No exercise yesterday but today at 1:00 I have scheduled a walk before the 5:00 rain. I am going to try out my new hiking boots.

Excited about puttering but a few of the" to dos" are very uncomfortable. Our front loading washer has a ripped door boot. I ordered a replacement part and watched a couple of youtubes on how to do it. Yikes. intimidating. ( Are you proud of me, BBE?) I also have to spray weeds in a BIG way at our house but that won't happen until after the rain. DH is the PCA so he is in charge of mixing.

On the frugal side:
Released my last, absurdly expensive Magnolia Pearl item of clothing. It is super distressed miner pants. They did not meet my "Keep" requirements no matter how much I wanted them.
These are the "keep" requirements
1. They wear easily with no yanking, pulling, fussing or itching and do not require extraordinary undergarments.
2. When I wash them, they don't cause problems with other clothing items. They do not need dry cleaning more than twice a year (heavy sweaters, blazers, coats.)
3. I choose to wear them at least once a month ( seasonally adjusted.) If a season has past and I have not worn it, it is on the chopping block.
4. When I wear them, I get compliments. Most pieces I have now get several compliments per wearing.

The Miner pants NEVER have been complimented and I deeply suspect they are just not age appropriate nor flattering. Sigh. I think they were a dream of what young me always wanted to look like. I put them on Poshmark at a sell price point last night and they were gone by morning. OKAY done with that brand. Moving on,

Also frugal, I am making homemade yoghurt which I love.

Finally, I am closing out this year's budget ( I use EveryDollar software.) Credit for me keeping track of things for another year. It is not in anyway accounter's accurate but it is a really clean picture of what i spend my money on.

Joy: Take away is so challenging. I try to avoid it whenever possible.
Curly: Thanks for helping our elderly.

[silverbirch]

A better day but not great. I must remember that we are in the cold equivalent of the dog days of the Christmas holidays and it’s normal to feel out of sorts. Also that this house always brings out my allergic rhinitis linked, I think, to the central heating and possibly the dust levels. I walked to the hairdresser and found that there was a cancellation so I’ve had a hair cut without having to wait weeks for an appointment or to travel for hours. Let’s see what it looks like in the morning! I haven’t managed to be in the garden at all (torrential rain this morning) and I feel the lack of it. Still too much sugar in my diet which truly, madly, deeply does not suit me one iota.

gardenerjoy, welcome back, Ideal Food Day breakfast! Thank you, it was a better day today.

maryann, yoga most days is such a good thing. No, we’re out of the office and about half out of the house. The plan is to return some time in January to clean and stage the house for sale and put it on the market. I’ll move things here every time I visit which is a bit of a schlepp. I’m fully behind number 1 on your “keep” list (though not sure about the second half).

They wear easily with no yanking, pulling, fussing or itching.

onebyone, hope things went well with the doctor.

Bill, 17 ingredients + exquisite spices are bound to do you good. We use online delivery in the other house when I’m away or very busy. The SO could go shopping by bus but it would take a fair amount of time. And we use it in the new house (and when my mum was alive) to make sure that we have groceries or at least when we arrive.

curlyjax, it’s always so good to hear that you’ve got rid of something else from the basement. Credit!

Wave to everyone!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Same status for testing - both of us.

Major accomplishment was dealing with the 12-volt battery in my Nissan LEAF. It had gone kaput after nine days of neglect. All batteries lose some charge after nine days, but it's a dying battery that falls as low as this one had. It couldn't fire up a single thing in the car. I kept pondering putting on full protective gear to go to an auto parts store. Finally hit me. I pay AAA all these years just in case I need roadside service. They come out and put in new batteries. Called them up, "Be there in 45 minutes." A competent 'battery technician' appeared with the proper battery for my car; gave me a kind lecture to not let a car sit for nine days, bolted it in; checked that all worked; and was on his way. All done with me standing, double masked, always on the other side of the car. It's the first time someone else has ever replaced a battery in a car I've owned. Might just get used to being taken care of.

Eating was better; I only had half of breakfast but we both had lunch and dinner. DW isn't hungry, but knows that her systems need food to operate.


Joy (gardenerjoy) - Ouch for coughing hard enough to hurt your DH's back. Good news that take-out exists to fill in the gaps of an ill sous chef.

Silverbirch - Yay for a spontaneous hair appointment. Looking closely at your Avatar, it seems that your hair presents quite a challenge.

maryann – Congrats for parting with items of clothing while they are still desired by someone else. I am impressed that you're going to replace your own washing machine door boot.

curlyjax - Hope there are people as helpful as you are when I'm in need of getting straightened out. Funny image of you and your son passing in cars.

Readers -

Chapter 8 Stage 5 - The Motivation-for-Life Plan
The following techniques will help you respond to your sabotaging thoughts.

We discussed how the core of who he was wouldn't be different, just the package it was presented in.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 196.

[curlyjax]

Super boring day at work. I recycled and trashed some things but couldn't muster up much initiative to do much else. I spent a little time researching surgeons-I'm really tired of being in pain and although I don't love the idea of surgery, I'm getting to the point where I am ready to do it sooner rather than later. The surgeon I had for my other hip moved to another office which isn't convenient and I really disliked his NP assistant so i'm going with someone else. I want outpatient surgery again but not too far away, and I'd rather not go into Boston either, so there are all these considerations. Of course losing weight would help with the pain, and we all know its about the food and not exercise, but its hard to do anything when I'm in pain all the time. Ugh. Anyhow thanks for letting me vent here. Food was not great but not terrible.
I'm taking DS back to school today as he's meeting friends there and going off for a few days fun, then I do have a massage session scheduled thankfully. Then dump, groceries etc.
Gardenerjoy-those bad coughs can be so painful; glad you guys found something to help.
Maryann- I like your keep requirements. Most of my clothes are functional rather than fashionable, but they don't look particularly flattering so that's the piece I should work on.
Silverbirch- oh dear, will that be an ongoing problem with the house and allergies? I myself had a hard time at my MIL and one of my BIL house, both being so old and musty. My house is very dusty but doesn't bother me fortunately!
Bill-yay for AAA indeed. I'm impressed you've replaced the battery before yourself.

[gardenerjoy]

I dealt with last night's request for take-away by getting what DH wanted and going ahead with what I already planned. CREDIT!

Saturdays are always a bit awkward for me. Today, I'm going to eat a salad at 10:30am. Because that's the best plan I've got, and I don't care if it's weird.

Exercise: 50, 1725/1800 minutes for December