I had a good and very, very careful session at the gymn this morning which left me wiped out this afternoon, falling asleep over a book. Torrential rain for most of the day but I took a box of electrical stuff to the Cancer Research charity shop after being at the gymn. They accept electrical items as they can do portable appliance testing (PAT) there to check that they are safe to sell. And one of my clients got in touch after a few months of silence and I was able to bang off an article for her which was very pleasing!
onebyone, great decluttering at your house! Hmm, plant lights. They sound interesting.
Bill, credit for being able to identify that you were “in recovery from the tension of watching [your] complex piece of machinery taken apart in pieces on the basement floor” as you ate an apple cider doughnut with a cup of coffee. With luck, an ACD won’t coincide ever again with the complex piece of machinery etc.
curlyjax, much sympathy with having so many moving parts in your life at the moment. That can certainly wipe the short-term memory about food.
gardenerjoy, your friend’s book sounds just what the doctor ordered! I’m all in favour, as you know. Great to hear about an Ideal Food Day. And I like the label of “low energy day” because it indicates that there could be “high energy days” or even just “normal energy days” in the future.
Eye appt after school. These after school gigs kill me. I want to work out but am super beat. Maybe that is an excuse. Maybe not. I am going to be gentle with myself and let myself slide.
Food was too much but OP. Again, I just can't worry about it. My clothes fit. I have a great haircut. People give me lots of compliments. NSVs.
I guess the message is then I was enough today. I am listening to anti migraine music on Spotify. It feels good.
I'll try to be concise. So during my hospital day on Oct 2 the surgeon declared my scalp wound infected. They took a swab and sent it off for testing. He said he would not do surgery if there is infection. He asked his staff to set up woundcare for me.
I called late last week asking about progress and next steps and test results and whether/how/when the surgeon would prescribe antibiotics and his nurse called me back sounding a bit bewildered. When she asked the surgeon about my concerns he told her he was not prescribing antibiotics. He said he was not responsible for my wound and for me to approach the plastic surgeon who had operated on me.
When I last saw the plastic surgeon he told me I was no longer his patient as he referred me to Sunnybrook.
So neither doctor is responsible. I am a hot potato it seems.
I saw my family physician and showed him my test results showing the infection,( that my nurse friend says could be hiding within the layers of my skin), and after telling him my tale of two doctors he gave me the antibiotic prescription. He was scandalized at the behaviour of the surgeon. And also alarmed at how slowly things are going for me. Couldn't believe I still haven't had my oncology tests. I said I'm on that next. Which I am. Phone calls again tomorrow.
Then I requested a colonoscopy and he said they'd set that up and I left. The colonoscopy people called within an hour. I was asked questions and my height and weight. I told her the truth. 310
5' 4.5"
The conversation took on a new tone. It got heavier somehow.The person's voice was slower and more precise, not as bouncy. I expected an appointment, but instead, due to my high BMI I have to go for a consult first. Maybe they will deny me a colonoscopy. Feels like thats on the table. Or maybe it's super risky. Lots of reminders to LOSE WEIGHT RIGHT NOW WHY ARENT YOU LOSING WEIGHT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY LOST WEIGHT &etc just kicked right in. Beating myself up is not a winning strategy for weightloss.
After pushing those thoughts away, I wondered if my high BMI is part of the delay in my cancer testing?
So as I waited for my antibiotic prescription to be filled, I fantasized about ordering a big chocolate frosty at the Wendy's which was near to where I was parked passing the time to go back to the pharmacy. No, I said, you aren't going to eat this time. This time you are going to face the challenge of your feelings and your urge to eat. I did ok. I resisted the frosty.
It's obvious to me now I'm going to go through this scenario many times before I am done with this health issue. I can't eat over all of them.
That's a real NO.
I got the drugs, went home, made lunch and ate that. My antibiotics will change when I eat since they are taken 4x a day either 2 hrs after eating or 1 hr before. Right now it's confusing to me when to eat. I'll pin that down tomorrow.
It's really truly the time to get on a plan and stay with it. The medical system seems ill-prepared for high BMI people. DH says its more a woman dismissal thing. Could be both and throw in middle aged. I tick all the boxes. I'm really stubborn though. That's a good thing.
OMG this message was anything but concise! Glad I didn't go into all the detail! lol. Thanks for reading and creating this safe space where I can leave this stuff.
Thursday - Children's rhyme "Three Blind Mice" is published in London (1609)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Exercise, CREDIT moi, was chasing the (8 yo) DGD after Second Grade classes. She did cartwheels with her nemesis - the guy who has been in love with her for years. They're both really good. She told him that there was no such thing as boy gymnasts. He ran to ask his mother. Came back defiant, "Boys can be gymnasts." Have no clue where she got that idea or whether it was just part of the teasing of that age. She spent the time back at her house making two 'books' for her (3.5 yo) first cousin. Fun to be part of making that bond happen.
Snuck down to the basement half a dozen times to watch my newly tuned heating system do its job. It's beyond boring . . . unless you're a geek who has learned all the steps and follow the sequence all the way from the arrival of a "Calling" signal from one of the thermostats through the turning on of the two pumps to the ignition and firing of the heat exchanger. All to be rewarded with a bold "BLOCKED" on its display screen which is how it declares that it will rest for 60 seconds before a new "Call" is accepted. The reward is that a low temperature water flows through our baseboards for a long time instead of very hot water or steam for short periods of time.
Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. No snacks means that my second apple cider donut remains uneaten. I've planned it for this afternoon so that it will be a planned daytime snack. Dinner included corn-on-the-cob that was just right. We've entered that period when it's a guess if the corn will be yummy or past its prime. We go through a period like this for each seasonal fruit and vegetable, every year. And mourn it every year. Just like we note that darkness is arriving earlier each day as we head into winter as if it were a new thing. Hopefully that means that our brains are still working.
onebyone - Ouch for getting lost between two doctors with Super Kudos for getting your family doctor to resolve the issue with the needed prescription. Glad that you've got the Moxie to find your path through the medical system's maze.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for reading your friend's self-published book. I've been told that sales are difficult for those who self-publish so you up-ticked her count.
Silverbirch - Yay for a piece of paying work while you're more than full-time busy unraveling your life. Income is rather useful. Hope you overcome the "wiped out" feeling.
maryann – Absolutely love this, "I guess the message is then I was enough today." Gotta remember that.
curlyjax - Congrats for getting some paperwork resolved. Good luck figuring out how to leave your Toyota for service and use it at the same time. BTDT.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 8Stage 5 - The Motivation-for-Life Plan
Daily Motivation Plan
The Daily Motivation Plan will help you continually remind yourself that what you are doing to lose excess weight or to maintain your weight loss is so unquestionably worth it. You will do some of these skills every day for the rest of your life, and you will taper off doing others.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 188.
OK finally back on track and losing again. Still feeling pretty crappy and exhausted. Hoping some coffee will do the trick. And a few more good food days. Maybe some walking.
onebyone - thinking of you as you go through this health ordeal. I heard once that at 50 they issue us women invisibility cloaks and I do feel like mine is on a lot of the time.
Today's proclamation is "I will exercise." Yesterday I went to bed about 6:00 and read. What? i told DH that I was still on fire at school but coming home it is harder and harder to keep the momentum up. He answer is that we are old. I am not accepting that one. There is a balance I can strike until June which allows me to exercise after school a few days a week. I am going to practice that balance today. Lunch is packed.
BBE: So cool that you understand the mechanics of things. In my next life I will be left brained, logical and follow things step by step. This life I am a right brain unicorn that leaps from one idea to another. Erika: So glad life seems more manageable today. feelings usually follow right action. Peace is right around the corner.
I'm heading out to the countryside for a visit with Dear Niece. An advantage of weekly visits is that I get to see the gradual autumn color change. I suspect that there's still a lot of green, given what I can see from my window, but I think I'll see some dramatic color in spots.
I accomplished an Ideal Food Day yesterday. Today, I almost certainly won't, but I'll get as close as I can despite bribing DN out of her house by picking up some fast food somewhere.
Exercise: 50, 555/1700 minutes for October
onebyone: Sending all the sympathies for your encounters with the medical establishment. I'm glad that you can identify yourself as stubborn. It's going to take that to keep moving through the steps.
It doesn’t feel like it but I know that things have been achieved today. The SO and I both had flu jabs, we got more empty boxes and improved some of the packing at the office, I decided to give my old violin (so old the bow hair has collapsed) and carrying case of singles to the British Red Cross charity shop, a couple of loads of washing hung on the line, picked over the raspberries and three articles for my client (one completed and the other two awaiting some more facts). Really, that is very good going indeed but somehow I don’t feel it. Perhaps it’s a side effect of the flu jab. Anyway, onward!
onebyone, you are stubborn and that’s a good thing.
Quote:
I got the drugs, went home, made lunch and ate that.
That’s very good. Credit, credit for just taking the action.
Bill, credit for going down to the basement and up again so many times. It was marble steps the other day. Are steps a theme? Not a bad one to have.
eusebius, credit for being back on track.
maryann, definitely credit for “lunch is packed”.
gardenerjoy, nice to be out in the countryside enjoying the change of seasons. Good luck with DN.
I'm posting tonight as I didn't have time today and won't tomorrow. I ended up not dealing with my car yesterday, and the exterminator found some holes and plugged them up as well as setting some traps in the attic, so all worked out. This morning I zipped out of the house at 7 for a conference; my colleague drove and we chatted all the way. I ate fruit for a snack instead of sweet bread, that was about all I gave myself credit for. It was nice to do something different but a long day. Tomorrow I have an early morning meeting, then leaving early to pack, go pick up DS who is coming home to keep his sister company for the weekend, and then off to Maine with my buddy for the weekend, so I won't post until Monday probably.
so happy early weekend. It's different posting at night, I am tired and possibly not making much sense
Gardenerjoy: yay for a new book to read.
Bill-there's something comforting about the change of seasons familiarity, including the hello and goodbye of summer food and so on.
Onebyone-so sorry you're dealing with this medical stuff and unhelpful doctors. Glad you do have this space to vent too.
Maryann-Sometimes it is so nice to just read in bed, but I hear you, I feel so low energy some days.
Eusebius-yay for back on track and losing!
Silverbirch-that sounds like a very productive day indeed!
I ate on plan and am going to bed on an empty stomach. That's what I need to do if I want to lose weight.
I taught my other ceramic class.We made coiled pots. I announced we'd create mugs but none of us did. We all answered the call of the clay to make something else. They are a talented bunch. I've never seen so many precise coiled pots in a beginner's class. Amazing.
Bedtime. Have a good night.
oh! Diabetes pickup comes tomorrow..I only have a small box of books. I'll get some more together in tne morning. I think I have some coats.
Friday - Greenwich established as the universal time meridian of longitude (1884)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, including a planned apple cider donut for afternoon snack. It was the last of the two allocated to me. Unfortunately, I'm in a mixed marriage; DW eats half a donut each time so she still has two halves left that I can see on the kitchen counter. Hard to imagine that a sane person can eat only half a donut at a time. Dinner was a grilled veggie burger. I opted out of cheese in a minor act of measured eating. With a slice of tomato and a slice of grilled onion it was just the best. It came with tater tots, I suspect to balance its healthy side. I do get to declare that I was vegetarian for the day.
Learned something entirely new to me in my class on life in the universe where we have to start by studying the origin of life on Earth. Not only have scientists not been able to re-create the path from inorganic chemicals to biological life, there is now a competing hypothesis about how it happened. For decades, the common belief was that RNA World came first; it set the stage for DNA World that is now everywhere. Some new researchers are looking at the Metabolism First Hypothesis - that primitive parts of the working of the cell started cycling about before RNA World started. It's an interesting notion. If you want to dip your toe into the subject, the Wiki article on Abiogenesis is a good overview. It's not a casual read, but the diagrams are wonderful. I always like being reminded that a Last Universal Common Ancestor, LUCA, has long been hypothesized. Just fun, fun, fun to play with such notions including being required to go back through the geological history of Earth. Makes me proud that great, great ... great grandma lived in a black smoker deep below the ocean floor.
onebyone - Working with creative people is just your rabbit in her briar patch. I join those who congratulate you for your stubborn streak especially when you use it to break through the abundant bureaucracy.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Neat that you make an adventure out of the drive to support your Dear Niece. Congrats for achieving an Ideal Food Day.
Erika (eusebius) – Yay for being back on track. Hope that being exhausted gets taken care of during this week off.
Silverbirch - Congrats for both getting your flu jabs. I do hope enough people get them to make the whole flu season less terrible. Super Kudos for being able to part with your old violin; that's real adult step.
maryann – Always a challenge to strike the balance. The good news is that you can count the days left until you retire. Gotta love, "I will exercise."
curlyjax - Bon Voyage on your trip to Maine. I'll think of boiled lobsters and lobster rolls the whole weekend.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 8Stage 5 - The Motivation-for-Life Plan
Daily Motivation Plan The following shows you what do do throughout the day:
each morning Do the following each morning, before you eat breakfast:
Prepare yourself as you get on the scale. If you are maintaining at a weight that is higher than your dream weight, be careful what you say to yourself when you step on the scale.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 188.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 10-13-2023 at 07:02 PM.
Reason: Typo
Weight this morning 307. I was 100% on plan yesterday. It feels really good to say that.
I just put 2 coffee makers, 1 pressure.cooker (bought pre -instant pot days), and 1 small box of books + stuff out onto the front porch for the diabetes pick up guy. These are the very first books I have ever willingly parted with. Yay! Credit moi
Every little bit helps.
Today is woundcare day. After that I am free for the day. No appointments or jobs to do. I think I will try a small watercolour painting and I will.catch up on the dishes.
Enjoy your day.
update: popping by to say I am not eating before bed. I'm not!
Success! I went to the gym last night. The two factors that created this success were that I changed immediately into my gym clothes when I got home and I did not allow myself to watch a mystery unless I was on the climber doing it. Will do the same today.
I heaved myself over to the city for a field test at the optician’s. This checked my peripheral vision which is within the normal range, so that’s good. I went on the train, had lunch out and read my book. Tried on some clothes which was a horrible experience. I looked nothing like the person I see in the bathroom mirror. Today I looked frighteningly like my cousin, that is, rather lumpy. But I clocked up around 9,500 steps which is creditworthy.
curlyjax, have a lovely time in Maine!
onebyone, a good day is excellent. The empty stomach thing at bedtime is good. And so is the amount of stuff you put out for the diabetes pick up. Credit for letting the books go.
Bill, love the sound of your class!
maryann, going to the gymn after school is a clear credit.
Last edited by silverbirch; 10-13-2023 at 04:37 PM.
I saw some oranges, yellows, and coppers on the forested hillsides -- one of the best routes in our area for viewing fall color.
DN hadn't managed to make the phone calls for some medical stuff, so I did that while I was there -- taking us a few steps forward on multiple fronts. That felt good.
Then, today, I tumbled into one of the frustrating aspects of the medical system. I went to the pharmacy to get my COVID and flu shots. They ran it through insurance and came up with $150 and $67, respectively. That seemed like too much, so they suggested that I talk to my insurance company.
When I called the insurance company, I encountered the same advice that I got for the Shingles vaccine that backfired on me. My insurance has a pharmacy coverage and a medical coverage. Vaccines are covered under the medical part, but pharmacies can only access the pharmacy part.
So, the advice is to get the vaccines from a medical facility like my doctor's office or a CVS Minute Clinic. But on the medical side of things, they don't know in advance what my share of the cost will be. That means that I can't compare them. My experience with the two Shingles vaccines was that the "covered" vaccine from a medical office cost me more than the "uncovered" vaccine at the pharmacy would have.
I'm annoyed by that on so many levels. At the moment, I'm focused on that it is badly implemented capitalism. If our society wants to convince us that capitalism works so great, the least we could do is implement transparent processes so that it works as advertised.
Since it was clear that there was no satisfying way to approach this, I went for the most efficient way. I returned to the pharmacy and paid for my shots. Fortunately, they hadn't yet shredded the paperwork that I filled out in the morning, so that one aspect of my day went quickly. Never mind how much time I wasted on making two trips plus research on multiple websites plus a phone call to the insurance company.
Wednesday
&etc just kicked right in. Beating myself up is not a winning strategy for weightloss.
Thursday - Children's rhyme "Three Blind Mice" is published in London (1609)
