Originally Posted by va1erie:
Mmmm...well, since I had a wine-induced snackfest last night and a one-pound gain today, maybe not so much! :) Yeah, I feel okay. Not perfect, but okay.

Was yesterday the first day after your cleanse, or had you already given that up? Do you think there is any connection between the restriction of the cleanse and your snackfest? Glad to year you are feeling OK, if not perfect!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
What did it show?

I discovered that I burn about 175 calories an hour teaching, which is virtually the same as what I burn during a training session that focuses mostly on strength training!! Is that crazy, or what? I burned just over 2000 calories yesterday and again today, the first time I have ever gone over 2000 calories in a day. I'm not sure what to make of that. Sometimes I have to wonder how accurate that Exerspy is.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
What did he say?

We had a good discussion about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies, and he explained why the risks of that are probably greater than the risk of getting cancer at this point, although I was impressed at how well he listened to me when I described the chronic stress this all causes me. He convinced me to try a drug called Evista, which has fewer risks than Tamoxifen. But it still has some nasty risks (like strokes and blood clots) and some undesirable side effects (water retention, weight gain, hot flashes, leg cramps, joint pain). I'm just going to try it for three months and see if I can tolerate it. I told him about my weight loss, and he said he never would have guessed that to look at me, partly because I am skinny and partly because I do not have the pinched look of someone who has lost a lot of weight! (Take that, Bev!! :p) However, supporting Bev's contention that I am obsessed with my weight, I admit that I am a little freaked out about taking a medication that has weight gain as a side effect. I will be paying careful attention to that and will do what I can to counteract it.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (up to 2.4 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully until after dinner. Didn't exercise. Tomorrow, I'm going to class no matter what! I'm headed out of town (college visit to Davidson in NC), leaving very early tomorrow and will be back late Saturday night, so if I don't get on here until Sunday that's why! I'll try to, though.

YAY for still being well under goal! Did you go to your class today? I bet it felt good! I know someone, or used to know someone, who teaches psych at Davidson. Hope you have a safe trip and a good visit.

my report: weight was down .4 compared to two days ago, ate very mindfully but not completely OP. I went to a happy hour with some colleagues at school on the spur of the moment and drank two glasses of wine. I didn't overeat, though, and actually ate a smaller dinner to compensate, but I still was up to almost 1800 calories for the day. I had a LOT of fun! We're going to make this a regular Thursday evening event, so I have to make sure to plan for it and deal with it.

Can't wait to hear how Jane and you like Davidson! Check in when you can but don't stress about it if you can't.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Was yesterday the first day after your cleanse, or had you already given that up? Do you think there is any connection between the restriction of the cleanse and your snackfest? Glad to year you are feeling OK, if not perfect!

It was supposed to be a semi-cleanse day -- bars and shakes until dinner -- but then after dinner I went a little berserk. It was Jane's finals/midterms week, and she always brings a lot of junk into the house those days. I'm sure there is a connection between the restriction of the cleanse and the snackfest. It always makes me feel a little sorry for myself. :D

Originally Posted by :
I discovered that I burn about 175 calories an hour teaching, which is virtually the same as what I burn during a training session that focuses mostly on strength training!!

Wow! So basically all you have to do to maintain your weight is increase your class load! :D

Originally Posted by :
We had a good discussion about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies, and he explained why the risks of that are probably greater than the risk of getting cancer at this point, although I was impressed at how well he listened to me when I described the chronic stress this all causes me. He convinced me to try a drug called Evista, which has fewer risks than Tamoxifen. But it still has some nasty risks (like strokes and blood clots) and some undesirable side effects (water retention, weight gain, hot flashes, leg cramps, joint pain). I'm just going to try it for three months and see if I can tolerate it.

Well, it sounds like he has a really thoughtful plan.

Originally Posted by :
I told him about my weight loss, and he said he never would have guessed that to look at me, partly because I am skinny and partly because I do not have the pinched look of someone who has lost a lot of weight! (Take that, Bev!! :p)

Ha!

Originally Posted by :
However, supporting Bev's contention that I am obsessed with my weight, I admit that I am a little freaked out about taking a medication that has weight gain as a side effect. I will be paying careful attention to that and will do what I can to counteract it.

I don't blame you a bit. It would worry me, too. But the drug can't MAKE you gain weight. It can only make you either hungrier -- which you can counter by bulking up your meals -- or slow your metabolism, which you can counter with exercise. Do you know HOW it encourages weight gain? That is, are people hungrier, or does it slow your metabolism, or is it just the water retention that mimics weight gain?

Originally Posted by :
YAY for still being well under goal! Did you go to your class today? I bet it felt good!

I did go! It was great, a new instructor the owner just hired, and I like her a lot. She's actually a neighbor whom I don't know very well and have never found particularly interesting, but she is a great trainer. Really picky about form, which I think is very helpful and which I think the owner of the studio never pays enough attention to. I liked her better as an instructor than the owner, so I'm hoping she'll do a lot of our sessions.

Originally Posted by :
I know someone, or used to know someone, who teaches psych at Davidson. Hope you have a safe trip and a good visit.

Thanks! I'll report back. Who's the teacher you know? Unfortunately Jane won't be able to sit in on any classes, as we'll be visiting Saturday, but we've heard very good things about Davidson.

Originally Posted by :
my report: weight was down .4 compared to two days ago, ate very mindfully but not completely OP. I went to a happy hour with some colleagues at school on the spur of the moment and drank two glasses of wine. I didn't overeat, though, and actually ate a smaller dinner to compensate, but I still was up to almost 1800 calories for the day. I had a LOT of fun! We're going to make this a regular Thursday evening event, so I have to make sure to plan for it and deal with it.

I think regular happy hours are great for colleagues! You can definitely fit a couple of glasses of wine into a weekly schedule. Remove a snack and choose the lowest-calorie entrees and you'll probably cover it.

Have a great day! I'll try to get in her tomorrow if possible -- probably depends on how late we get home and how tired I am.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
It was supposed to be a semi-cleanse day -- bars and shakes until dinner -- but then after dinner I went a little berserk. It was Jane's finals/midterms week, and she always brings a lot of junk into the house those days. I'm sure there is a connection between the restriction of the cleanse and the snackfest. It always makes me feel a little sorry for myself. :D

There's this really interesting new body of research that helps explain why unplanned eating is so much more likely at night. People apparently have a continually renewing, but limited, amount of "willpower". This reservoir is depleted not only by times when we resist temptation but also by simply having to make a decision. So, by the end of the day, particularly a day that has been stressful, challenging, or has involved more than the usual number of decisions, we're less likely to have enough "will" left over to resist tempting foods.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Wow! So basically all you have to do to maintain your weight is increase your class load! :D

BITE YOUR TONGUE!!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Well, it sounds like he has a really thoughtful plan. Ha! I don't blame you a bit. It would worry me, too. But the drug can't MAKE you gain weight. It can only make you either hungrier -- which you can counter by bulking up your meals -- or slow your metabolism, which you can counter with exercise. Do you know HOW it encourages weight gain? That is, are people hungrier, or does it slow your metabolism, or is it just the water retention that mimics weight gain?

I can find nothing that suggests the reason for the weight gain. The identification of weight gain as a possible risk appears to be based on nothing but self-report data from straightforward placebo-control studies. In other words, women taking the drug are statistically significantly more likely to report having gained weight than women who are unknowingly taking a sugar pill instead. But the difference between the drug group and the placebo group appears to be pretty small. Obviously water retention would account for part of it. I am hoping that my Exerspy will help me keep a handle on things. If my metabolism slows down, I should be able to see that on the Exerspy.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I did go! It was great, a new instructor the owner just hired, and I like her a lot. She's actually a neighbor whom I don't know very well and have never found particularly interesting, but she is a great trainer. Really picky about form, which I think is very helpful and which I think the owner of the studio never pays enough attention to. I liked her better as an instructor than the owner, so I'm hoping she'll do a lot of our sessions.

Interesting that the class would feel so different with a different instructor. I think I would tend to respond best to an exercise instructor who exhibits a lot of empathy and encouragement--emotional support. But in the long run it would undoubtedly be more beneficial to have an instructor who really knows good form and can convey that to the clients.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Thanks! I'll report back. Who's the teacher you know? Unfortunately Jane won't be able to sit in on any classes, as we'll be visiting Saturday, but we've heard very good things about Davidson.

Her name is Ruth Ault. I know her from years ago when we were both active in the Society for the Teaching of Psychology. She's older than I am and may have retired by now. I haven't heard anything from or about her in years. I hope you had a good visit!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I think regular happy hours are great for colleagues! You can definitely fit a couple of glasses of wine into a weekly schedule. Remove a snack and choose the lowest-calorie entrees and you'll probably cover it.

I need to pour 4 oz. of water into a wine glass so I can visualize it and figure out how many ounces of wine I am drinking. I suspect that the size of a "glass" varies substantially from one bar to another.

my report: my weight was down a full pound this morning (I suspect dehydration due to the wine; it will probably be back tomorrow). I ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get any exercise and in fact was pretty lazy, taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon. My Exerspy says I burned over 1800 calories today, though. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy. Gave myself lots of credit, not only for dealing well with eating issues but also for working hard to overcome my social anxieties (going to the happy hour was an intentional effort to practice socializing with people I don't know well [most of the faculty there were the younger ones], and I'm still writing back and forth with my eharmony match).

Hope you had a safe trip. The weather has been really nasty.

Today wasn't my best day. I ate three extra desserts tonight. I've felt on edge all day, I think due to my ambivalence about taking that darn drug. Oh, well, move on, tomorrow will be a better day.

My weight was up .6 this morning. Eating was fine until tonight. Got no exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

Can't wait to hear about your trip!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
There's this really interesting new body of research that helps explain why unplanned eating is so much more likely at night. People apparently have a continually renewing, but limited, amount of "willpower". This reservoir is depleted not only by times when we resist temptation but also by simply having to make a decision. So, by the end of the day, particularly a day that has been stressful, challenging, or has involved more than the usual number of decisions, we're less likely to have enough "will" left over to resist tempting foods.

Oh, that is interesting, and it makes so much sense. I definitely feel stronger in the mornings. So basically all =I= have to do to maintain is make sure I go to bed early! :)

Originally Posted by :
I can find nothing that suggests the reason for the weight gain. The identification of weight gain as a possible risk appears to be based on nothing but self-report data from straightforward placebo-control studies. In other words, women taking the drug are statistically significantly more likely to report having gained weight than women who are unknowingly taking a sugar pill instead. But the difference between the drug group and the placebo group appears to be pretty small. Obviously water retention would account for part of it. I am hoping that my Exerspy will help me keep a handle on things. If my metabolism slows down, I should be able to see that on the Exerspy.

Glad the difference is small! Just because it's statistically significant doesn't have to mean it's large.

Originally Posted by :
Interesting that the class would feel so different with a different instructor. I think I would tend to respond best to an exercise instructor who exhibits a lot of empathy and encouragement--emotional support. But in the long run it would undoubtedly be more beneficial to have an instructor who really knows good form and can convey that to the clients.

You'd like Elyse (the owner of the studio) better than Giselle. Giselle's a woman in my neighborhood who is so scary fit, even Jane has commented on it -- that Giselle has so little body fat her face looks haggard. Which is true, I suspect she's younger than I am and she looks ten years older. But her body looks like a teenage gymnast. And there's a story in the neighborhood from when her son was first old enough to have playdates without Mom and had lunch at another neighbor's, who made sandwiches and then sat down to lunch with the kids. Giselle's son said, "I thought Mommies didn't eat lunch." Interestingly, her daughter is overweight. Maybe doesn't qualify as obese, but major muffintop territory.

Originally Posted by :
I hope you had a good visit!

Unfortunately Davidson is probably ruled out. When we finished the tour and were standing outside the admission office waiting to file into the info session, Jane said, "Do you want to just leave?" I said, "No info session?" And she said she'd learned enough from the tour. Back in the car, she said, "I just kept checking off things I didn't want in a college." Davidson is heavily Greek -- 50% of guys join frats, and while there are no sororities, there are "Eating Houses" which 80% of women self-select into their second semester. And Davidson is Div I for most athletics, which for a student body that small (1900) translates to 26% of students being varsity athletes. It's too bad because the campus is gorgeous, and they have an interdisciplinary department. Many of the colleges Jane is looking at will let you design a major if they don't offer one to match your interests, but having an actual formalized department to assist is very nice.

Originally Posted by :
I need to pour 4 oz. of water into a wine glass so I can visualize it and figure out how many ounces of wine I am drinking. I suspect that the size of a "glass" varies substantially from one bar to another.

Absolutely! I've seen everything from a 5 oz pour to a 10 oz. You'll almost never see a 4 oz unless you're in a bar that serves so little wine they do it from those little individual bottles. And while you're measuring, make sure to do it into different shape and size wine glasses. John and I bought a couple of 6-oz wine glasses to use for ourselves, and next time I buy a set I'm definitely going to buy 6-ouncers and put away the bigger glasses to use when we have large groups over and need the extras. People tend not to drink as much when they're using 6-ounce glasses.

Originally Posted by :
my report: my weight was down a full pound this morning (I suspect dehydration due to the wine; it will probably be back tomorrow). I ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get any exercise and in fact was pretty lazy, taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon. My Exerspy says I burned over 1800 calories today, though. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy. Gave myself lots of credit, not only for dealing well with eating issues but also for working hard to overcome my social anxieties (going to the happy hour was an intentional effort to practice socializing with people I don't know well [most of the faculty there were the younger ones], and I'm still writing back and forth with my eharmony match).

Yay, you for going to happy hour even though it was stressful, and for deciding you'll join the group regularly. Younger faculty members might have older single colleagues, friends or family members, too. :) BTW, if anyone suggests fixing you up on a blind date with someone, from experience a better way it is to simply invite both of you to a group event you'd both feel comfortable at and only informally mention to each of you privately beforehand that there's another single coming.

Originally Posted by :
Today wasn't my best day. I ate three extra desserts tonight. I've felt on edge all day, I think due to my ambivalence about taking that darn drug. Oh, well, move on, tomorrow will be a better day.

My weight was up .6 this morning. Eating was fine until tonight. Got no exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

I'm sure you do feel ambivalent. How great are the risks of clotting, etc.? Do you have any conditions that would make that more likely? I'm sure being fit and only in your fifties must be helpful. Is there any way to determine your relative likelihood to form clots? What I mean is, are there tests that can show that a person already has blood that's likely to clot? I bruise like crazy, so I've always assumed I have thin blood. :)

Report: Ate pretty crappy yesterday on the road. It was raining much of the way, and going through the mountains we had hair-raising fog. I would have gotten off the road if there'd been any lights at any of the exits we passed. Weighed this morning, and my weight was unchanged, which I totally didn't deserve. Going to make a big pot of vegetable soup and concentrate on veggies today as much as possible. Got minor exercise (90 minute tour of Davidson, but there was a lot of standing around.) Class tomorrow, yay!

Val

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, that is interesting, and it makes so much sense. I definitely feel stronger in the mornings. So basically all =I= have to do to maintain is make sure I go to bed early! :)

Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Glad the difference is small! Just because it's statistically significant doesn't have to mean it's large.

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
You'd like Elyse (the owner of the studio) better than Giselle. Giselle's a woman in my neighborhood who is so scary fit, even Jane has commented on it -- that Giselle has so little body fat her face looks haggard. Which is true, I suspect she's younger than I am and she looks ten years older. But her body looks like a teenage gymnast. And there's a story in the neighborhood from when her son was first old enough to have playdates without Mom and had lunch at another neighbor's, who made sandwiches and then sat down to lunch with the kids. Giselle's son said, "I thought Mommies didn't eat lunch." Interestingly, her daughter is overweight. Maybe doesn't qualify as obese, but major muffintop territory.

ACK ACK ACK, you're right--I would not like Giselle!! She sounds like a very scary and alien creature!! I am not surprised that she would have an overweight daughter. What daughter could possibly compete with a mother like that?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Unfortunately Davidson is probably ruled out. When we finished the tour and were standing outside the admission office waiting to file into the info session, Jane said, "Do you want to just leave?" I said, "No info session?" And she said she'd learned enough from the tour. Back in the car, she said, "I just kept checking off things I didn't want in a college." Davidson is heavily Greek -- 50% of guys join frats, and while there are no sororities, there are "Eating Houses" which 80% of women self-select into their second semester. And Davidson is Div I for most athletics, which for a student body that small (1900) translates to 26% of students being varsity athletes. It's too bad because the campus is gorgeous, and they have an interdisciplinary department. Many of the colleges Jane is looking at will let you design a major if they don't offer one to match your interests, but having an actual formalized department to assist is very nice.

If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes. Having an interdisciplinary department would be a real plus, though. As you said, those are rare.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Absolutely! I've seen everything from a 5 oz pour to a 10 oz. You'll almost never see a 4 oz unless you're in a bar that serves so little wine they do it from those little individual bottles. And while you're measuring, make sure to do it into different shape and size wine glasses. John and I bought a couple of 6-oz wine glasses to use for ourselves, and next time I buy a set I'm definitely going to buy 6-ouncers and put away the bigger glasses to use when we have large groups over and need the extras. People tend not to drink as much when they're using 6-ounce glasses.

I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yay, you for going to happy hour even though it was stressful, and for deciding you'll join the group regularly. Younger faculty members might have older single colleagues, friends or family members, too. :) BTW, if anyone suggests fixing you up on a blind date with someone, from experience a better way it is to simply invite both of you to a group event you'd both feel comfortable at and only informally mention to each of you privately beforehand that there's another single coming.

The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'm sure you do feel ambivalent. How great are the risks of clotting, etc.? Do you have any conditions that would make that more likely? I'm sure being fit and only in your fifties must be helpful. Is there any way to determine your relative likelihood to form clots? What I mean is, are there tests that can show that a person already has blood that's likely to clot? I bruise like crazy, so I've always assumed I have thin blood. :)

I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: Ate pretty crappy yesterday on the road. It was raining much of the way, and going through the mountains we had hair-raising fog. I would have gotten off the road if there'd been any lights at any of the exits we passed. Weighed this morning, and my weight was unchanged, which I totally didn't deserve. Going to make a big pot of vegetable soup and concentrate on veggies today as much as possible. Got minor exercise (90 minute tour of Davidson, but there was a lot of standing around.) Class tomorrow, yay!

Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role.

The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.:dizzy:

Hope you had a good day!

Oh, I am so rattled, I forgot my report!! My weight was up .4 this morning, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did not get much exercise (just cleaning my condo and doing laundry), contacted my diet buddy.

OK, now I think I can go to bed!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)!

Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead! :)

Originally Posted by :
I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small.

Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

Originally Posted by :
If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes.

I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

Originally Posted by :
I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that.

A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0005-1.jpg

4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0006-1.jpg

Side-by-side:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0002-3.jpg

Originally Posted by :
The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone.

Good for you on all fronts!

Originally Posted by :
I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though!

Baby steps. :)

Originally Posted by :
Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

Originally Posted by :
I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role.

How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

Originally Posted by :
The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.:dizzy:

Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead! :)

I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

No, all I've read is general summaries of the side effects, not the original research. So I have no idea of what the magnitude of the weight gain might be. I've seen a couple of anecdotes ("user reviews") from women claiming to have gained large amounts of weight (one claimed to gain almost 30 pounds), but anecdotal evidence is notoriously unreliable.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0005-1.jpg

4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0006-1.jpg

Side-by-side:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...DSC_0002-3.jpg

Oh, my goodness. I really need to pay attention to how large the glasses are at that bar on Thursday. I do not want to be consuming so many calories in liquid form! And I'm such a cheap date these days, I really don't need to be consuming that much alcohol, either! Thanks for taking those pictures!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Baby steps. :)

That's my motto--most of the time, anyway! I think this is yet another example of my all-or-nothing tendencies. Most of the time, I inch forward in teensy baby steps. But occasionally, I do a free-fall over a cliff instead!! Meeting my eharmony match will feel like a free-fall over a cliff for me, although I recognize the irrationality of that!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

Well, that sucks. Don't you hate those delayed reactions?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

She's only four weeks along at this point, so it will be awhile before she knows the sex! I'm definitely hoping for a girl, just because it would be more fun to shop for a girl. Yeah, I know that babies outgrow their clothing really quickly. I'm sure consignment shops would have LOTS of infant stuff that's been outgrown before it was ever worn.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Yeah, I think what you are saying sounds reasonable. I was probably reading too much into it. He did say he was really tired and had just spent the entire day writing a chapter of the textbook he is working on. But thank you for reminding me that HE could also be nervous or fear rejection. Intellectually, I know that, of course. But I tend to get so wrapped up in my own angst that I forget that I'm not alone in those feelings. It took me years to figure out that my students are often as nervous as I am at the beginning of a new semester, for instance! It just never occurs to me that I have the power to make people as nervous as they make me!! :o

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation. I had already thought of going to a movie--as long as it has no embarrassing love scenes!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle.

my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow).

Hope you had a good day and enjoyed that soup!

I'm off to bed. Man, I hope I can sleep. I am just exhausted, and tomorrow is one of the days when my first class is at 7:55. UGH.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though.

Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

Originally Posted by :
The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?!

No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. :) And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school! :)

Originally Posted by :
Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation.

Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.

Originally Posted by :
WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle.

Absolutely! And, yes, I was fine in 20 minutes.

Originally Posted by :
my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow).

So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. :) And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school! :)

Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.

Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle?

my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend! :o

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night.

Good grief!

Originally Posted by :
Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!)

Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. :D It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...eee/osusyc.png
(The blue diamonds were waitlisted.)

So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

Originally Posted by :
Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date!

Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

Originally Posted by :
Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years.

And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

Originally Posted by :
After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle?

No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

Originally Posted by :
my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

Originally Posted by :
I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend! :o

Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make. :)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good grief!

I finally got some decent sleep last night, but I'm still really tired.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. :D It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.

I'm sure you're right about the athletes. And that is just not RIGHT!! If I was a parent of a really bright kid, I'd be majorly ticked off (from one intellectual snob to another ;)).

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate, and even a few who are developmentally disabled. Some of them create real behavior problems in class, and sometimes I resent having to deal with them when I KNOW that they're going to drive me crazy all semester and fail anyway. The worst part is that sometimes these students will take intro to psych multiple times, trying over and over to pass it, but fail repeatedly. It takes multiple semesters of academic failure before people are dismissed, and in the meantime they are wasting their own time and other people's money, and taking seats that other people could benefit from but get closed out of because the classes are already full. I'm all for equal opportunity, and occasionally someone who by every indication should not succeed will come in and just EXCEL. But they are few and far between, and the truth is that some people just plain don't belong in a college class. My students range in ability from illiterate to could-have-gone-to-Harvard, which makes it a real challenge for me to come up with a curriculum that will meet everyone's needs.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin???? :dizzy:

Originally Posted by va1erie:
And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

I think that as long as you're moving, you're benefiting. But I do think correct form makes a difference, even if it's subtle. My trainer does a pretty good job of watching me and correcting my form and technique, which I appreciate. At first he didn't correct my form at all, but the stronger and the more skilled I get, the pickier he gets about form.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

Yep. I get the sauce in a separate bowl and just barely touch the food to it. I get a little of the taste of that rich alfredo sauce but with a fraction of the calories. I do that often when I order restaurant dishes that have sauce.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make. :)

Well, maybe the upside of the gastrointestinal issues is that your weight will drop!! No fun, though. And YAY YOU for feeling disappointed about missing the exercise! That's big!

my report: my weight was down .6 (NOT deserved after dinner at Red Lobster!), had an extremely busy day of running from one commitment to another and had to eat dinner in the car but still stayed OP, did not read my cards, did not exercise.

OK, I'm off to bed and hopefully will be able to sleep. Hope you are feeling better by now!

Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post!

I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post!

Damn! Lost a post! I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

Originally Posted by :
I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr.

So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again! I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

From yesterday:

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate,

Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?

Originally Posted by :
We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin???? :dizzy:

Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

Originally Posted by :
I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary.

Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently. :)

Originally Posted by :
No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM.

Tylenol PM works, too, though I don't keep Tylenol around because of how easy it is to overdose. Benadryl works, too.

Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Damn! Lost a post!

I HATE when that happens!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

Sorry to hear you are still having tooth issues. I hope you don't need a root canal! I have had root canals after a crown without destroying the crown; they drill through the top of the crown, then fill the hole. But obviously it would be better, and the crown is stronger, if you can avoid doing that.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Yes, and then we talked again for a short time today.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again!

I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

Chinese food virtually always causes water retention, doesn't it? So you will probably lose today. Hope your class went well.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
From yesterday: Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?

I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent. So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently. :)

I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

I don't have any on hand and don't want to go out in the cold at this point, but I think I will sleep. I am very, very tired.

my report: My weight was down another .6. (I'm back in the 127's! YAY! But it's probably just dehydration from the drink I had last night.) Stayed OP. Had a terrific personal training session (which certainly contributed to my current tiredness). Ate slowly and mindfully, contacted my diet buddy.

Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck!

Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome! We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point.

I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps. And it is going to feel very good!

my report: weight was up .8 this morning (no longer dehydrated, I am sure), ate reasonably all day, got a lot of walking in, contacted my diet buddy.

Hope all is well with you!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.

Originally Posted by :

Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome!

Yeah, it is, but it does sound like you didn't like him as much as you thought you might?

Originally Posted by :
We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point.

Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great." :D

Originally Posted by :
I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps.

I'm sure it's the end-of-the-big-day thing.

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably, though probably too much salt. Got reasonable exercise. I'm exhausted and want a bath, so I'll be in tomorrow!

Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.

How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great." :D

I think they would have said that if I had not jumped in so quickly to stop them!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now.

my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.

This was her second visit -- we went for a tour and info session last year, but they don't offer interviews to Juniors, so that's what we were going back for. Her biggest concern is that the town of Gambier is SO small. The nearest "big" town is Mt Vernon, about five miles away. A lot of these small LACs are in tiny little towns, but this one is small even relative to that. And the school itself is smaller than she really thinks would be ideal -- 1600, when she thinks 2000+ is a better size. And of course it's got Ohio weather. Other than that, it would be the ideal place for her. It's a writer's school, it's the closest highly-selective LAC to home, Greek life is marginal, athletics aren't a big part of social life, the little town and the campus are very pretty, and most important she knows she'd fit in. She'd almost culled it from her final list but then found out a close friend had gone ED and been accepted, and that made her rethink. If she ended up there, I think she'd be very happy, but if she gets into Pomona, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Emory, Wash U, I think the chances are good she'd choose one of them over Kenyon.

Originally Posted by :
OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now.

No idea! I got up in the morning and realized I'd pulled a muscle. I used to pull them frequently in my back but haven't had a pull since I started doing core work. This one isn't as bad as the ones I had in the five or ten years before starting doing so much core work, but it was enough to keep me from going to class this morning.

Originally Posted by :
my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy.

Yay, you!

Report: weighed -- up 1.8 to .4 below goal, ack! -- and totally deserved that. When I have a muscle pull, I tend to just hunker down and not move, and I also tend to eat badly, and I did. I didn't realize it was that badly, though. But it could just be water retention -- way too much salt yesterday. But I'm still freaking out, and I'm definitely going to eat very low today and watch the salt.

From your Saturday post:

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks!

Maybe all it took was one of the "older folks <g>" to go, and then others felt they were welcome too?

Originally Posted by :
I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me.

The IEP would have to =specify= that the OGT wasn't appropriate for them, but then I would assume that the IEP team would also be saying that college-prep wasn't appropriate, either. My son had an IEP, but was very motivated to move from "standards" classes (which prepare kids to take the OGT) into "academic" classes (college prep) and in fact slowly transitioned a class per year from all but one standards level classes his freshman year into all academic his senior year. (BTW, I'd be interested to hear your take on these multiple levels, which seems to be more and more considered a bad thing by many educators and researchers, who seem to be saying that fewer tracks are a net benefit for the overall group. Which I can see, but it makes me wonder. I suspect these tracks serve the high-motivation and high-aptitude groups pretty well because it puts them into a group in which the critical mass are also very motivated, and everyone steps up their game. But obviously it removes these kids' positive influence from the less-motivated/lower aptitude groups, and because the lower-performance groups are a larger absolute number, the aggregate benefit of eliminating tracks is greater. My kids' high school tried to eliminate the "honors" track a few years ago but caved to pressure from parents of students who weren't performing strongly enough for accelerated or AP classes but wanted more of a challenge than the academic classes provided. And four different levels of classes does seem a little much, but this is a large and pretty diverse district -- 450+ kids per grade, and there are a couple of large neighborhoods where nearly every kid is on free lunch, but the district is also a magnet for high-performance, high academic pressure families. For my kids, the multiple levels was beneficial. Michael started out in standards courses but was able to transition to academics and was well-enough prepared for college that he pulled a 3.4 his Freshman year at Muskingum, and Jane was able to take almost all accelerated or AP courses but drop into Honors for math. Both kids tended to remark that students in the lower-level courses "weren't serious enough," which makes me suspect that the reason untracking benefits the overall group is because each extra level removes the "cream" who otherwise would be in a particular class modelling higher expectations/motivation/performance, which maybe in the aggregate pulls scores upward. I'd be interested to know what the effect is for those top performers -- is there downward movement in -their- scores when they're no longer in a class that's all top performers? There has to be a reason why private/boarding schools, which are almost all high-motivation, high-aptitude students, are so highly regarded by highly-selective colleges. Those schools are nothing BUT a track. So that top track must be encouraging top performance from top students, who I assume aren't being hurt academically because they don't have a critical mass of lower-motivation, lower-aptitude students in their classes. So my suspicious mind -- which pretty much EXPECTS I'm being lied to with statistics -- thinks what the researchers are saying is that the community benefits because the average scores rise, and that lower achievement by the stars is a fair price to pay for that. I'm not sure I agree. I think there's an advantage that isn't being measured to having your highest-potential students being encouraged to maximum performance that can't be quantified by comparing the aggregate scores for the two approaches. Is it really more important that the overall averages are higher if what we're losing is the opportunity to push the top 5% to do their best? My elitism is showing again.)

Originally Posted by :
I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent.

Oh, I LOVE this! This so explains why when I get invited to a party, I always want to go, and then by the day of the party I'm reluctant. I'd never heard of this before!

Originally Posted by :
So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!)

I love graphs, examples, and variations. :) So were you still high approach-motivation when it was time to get dressed to go meet him?

Originally Posted by :
I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should.

Oh, definitely. For one thing, thin women need to be concerned about calcium. I think Vitamin D and calcium are interrelated, too -- you need one to absorb the other, I think.

Originally Posted by :
Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck!

:) Glad I didn't need to call the Marietta cops to go out looking for your body.

Hi, Val! Today was a 16-hour day for me, and I didn't get home from an endless meeting at the main campus until after 9PM. I am so tired I can't function, and you wrote so many interesting things that I really need to respond carefully to! So I will get back to you tomorrow. Hope your back is feeling better today.

my report: weight was down .6, had to eat dinner in the car but stayed OP all day, did not exercise, did not read cards, contacted my diet buddy. Oh, and I have been giving myself lots of credit for not overeating in response to all of the intense emotions I have been feeling for the last few days. YAY ME!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Hi, Val! Today was a 16-hour day for me, and I didn't get home from an endless meeting at the main campus until after 9PM. I am so tired I can't function, and you wrote so many interesting things that I really need to respond carefully to! So I will get back to you tomorrow. Hope your back is feeling better today.

No problem!

Originally Posted by :
my report: weight was down .6, had to eat dinner in the car but stayed OP all day, did not exercise, did not read cards, contacted my diet buddy. Oh, and I have been giving myself lots of credit for not overeating in response to all of the intense emotions I have been feeling for the last few days. YAY ME!

Yay, you!

Report: weighed (no change, grr, even though I ate low yesterday), got no exercise, but I have class tomorrow and hoping to make it as back is somewhat better. Gotta run, too, so I'll see you tomorrow!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
This was her second visit -- we went for a tour and info session last year, but they don't offer interviews to Juniors, so that's what we were going back for. Her biggest concern is that the town of Gambier is SO small. The nearest "big" town is Mt Vernon, about five miles away. A lot of these small LACs are in tiny little towns, but this one is small even relative to that. And the school itself is smaller than she really thinks would be ideal -- 1600, when she thinks 2000+ is a better size. And of course it's got Ohio weather. Other than that, it would be the ideal place for her. It's a writer's school, it's the closest highly-selective LAC to home, Greek life is marginal, athletics aren't a big part of social life, the little town and the campus are very pretty, and most important she knows she'd fit in. She'd almost culled it from her final list but then found out a close friend had gone ED and been accepted, and that made her rethink. If she ended up there, I think she'd be very happy, but if she gets into Pomona, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Emory, Wash U, I think the chances are good she'd choose one of them over Kenyon.

I've never been to Gambier, but I am familiar with Mount Vernon. I know someone who teaches at Mount Vernon Nazarene College, and I used to visit him there. You and Jane have been on a lot of campus visits at this point. Do you think she is afraid to commit to a decision? How is she doing emotionally these days?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No idea! I got up in the morning and realized I'd pulled a muscle. I used to pull them frequently in my back but haven't had a pull since I started doing core work. This one isn't as bad as the ones I had in the five or ten years before starting doing so much core work, but it was enough to keep me from going to class this morning.

I used to get a lot of spontaneous, unexplained muscle pulls, too, along with all sorts of assorted aches and pains I couldn't account for. Isn't it amazing how core strength has so many unanticipated benefits? Is your back feeling better now?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed -- up 1.8 to .4 below goal, ack! -- and totally deserved that. When I have a muscle pull, I tend to just hunker down and not move, and I also tend to eat badly, and I did. I didn't realize it was that badly, though. But it could just be water retention -- way too much salt yesterday. But I'm still freaking out, and I'm definitely going to eat very low today and watch the salt.

What thoughts run through your mind when you see that your weight is so close to your hard stop? What exactly is it that freaks you out so much? What are you telling yourself would happen if you do happen to exceed that hard stop (which is pretty inevitable at some point)?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Maybe all it took was one of the "older folks <g>" to go, and then others felt they were welcome too?

Some additional people were invited, plus word of mouth brought in some more. I would imagine it will get bigger every week.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
My son had an IEP, but was very motivated to move from "standards" classes (which prepare kids to take the OGT) into "academic" classes (college prep) and in fact slowly transitioned a class per year from all but one standards level classes his freshman year into all academic his senior year.

I would guess that your son is unusual in being able to make that transition so successfully. One of the criticisms about tracking, of course, is that it consigns certain students to a lower level of achievement and precludes certain opportunities later on, simply because the student wasn't at the appropriate level of readiness at the time that the tracks were initially assigned.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
BTW, I'd be interested to hear your take on these multiple levels, which seems to be more and more considered a bad thing by many educators and researchers, who seem to be saying that fewer tracks are a net benefit for the overall group. Which I can see, but it makes me wonder. I suspect these tracks serve the high-motivation and high-aptitude groups pretty well because it puts them into a group in which the critical mass are also very motivated, and everyone steps up their game. But obviously it removes these kids' positive influence from the less-motivated/lower aptitude groups, and because the lower-performance groups are a larger absolute number, the aggregate benefit of eliminating tracks is greater.

Tracking is definitely beneficial for the high-aptitude kids, except for the few cases in which someone gets put in the "fast track" but is unprepared for it and falls behind. In theory (if not always in practice), tracking is also good for the lowest-aptitude students, because they get put in smaller classes, with more personal attention, with a curriculum that challenges them without overwhelming them, and they are not constantly being compared against higher-achieving students with whom they can not realistically compete. It's the group in the middle, statistically the largest group, whose needs are least likely to be met by tracking, largely because they lose the benefit of having the example of the higher-achieving students to aspire to. And, in their case, many of them COULD realistically benefit from being compared to those who outperform them. But ALL of the benefits of tracking are, of course, predicated on the assumption that aptitude can be accurately measured and therefore tracks can be appropriately assigned, which is often not the case. IQ tests and academic achievement tests of all kinds are far from perfectly reliable and make bad predictions about future achievement in around 40% of cases, on average. There will be both false positives (kids whose test scores suggest they can do work that they actually will not be able to do, resulting in being placed in a track that is too demanding for them) and false negatives (kids whose test scores underestimate their abilities, placing them in tracks that will prevent them from achieving up to their full potential). And IQ scores can vary substantially over time, which is obviously a problem, considering that tracking is based on a "snapshot" taken at one point in time, and once kids get assigned to a lower track, they get further and further behind, making it less and less likely that they will ever be able to move out of that track. But tracking, though far from perfect, is generally better than the old system of letting the gifted kids skip grades, while making the lower-aptitude students repeat grades. Both of those practices are extremely problematic, because cognitive development is not strongly correlated with emotional/social development and is not correlated at all with physical development. So, when you let kids skip grades, they are thrust into social groups they are not at all ready for. (The valedictorian of my college class was 12 years old. I always wondered what her social life was like!) And repeated failure isn't much better when it means that students will be grouped with others who are substantially younger and smaller.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
My kids' high school tried to eliminate the "honors" track a few years ago but caved to pressure from parents of students who weren't performing strongly enough for accelerated or AP classes but wanted more of a challenge than the academic classes provided.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the pressure would come from the parents of the students who would have the most to lose if that second track was eliminated. But I think four tracks is pretty unusual. Three is most typical.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
For my kids, the multiple levels was beneficial. Michael started out in standards courses but was able to transition to academics and was well-enough prepared for college that he pulled a 3.4 his Freshman year at Muskingum, and Jane was able to take almost all accelerated or AP courses but drop into Honors for math.

Your kids are anecdotal evidence to support the theory behind tracking. When it works the way it should, based on an accurate assessment of aptitude, and when the result is a curriculum that is challenging enough to spur students to aim high without overwhelming and frustrating them, everyone benefits.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Both kids tended to remark that students in the lower-level courses "weren't serious enough," which makes me suspect that the reason untracking benefits the overall group is because each extra level removes the "cream" who otherwise would be in a particular class modelling higher expectations/motivation/performance, which maybe in the aggregate pulls scores upward. I'd be interested to know what the effect is for those top performers -- is there downward movement in -their- scores when they're no longer in a class that's all top performers? There has to be a reason why private/boarding schools, which are almost all high-motivation, high-aptitude students, are so highly regarded by highly-selective colleges. Those schools are nothing BUT a track.

Eliminating the tracking, and thereby homogenizing the curriculum while simultaneously diversifying the make-up of the class, has the effect of producing regression to the mean. That is, the performance of the lowest performing students will move UP toward the mean, while the performance of the top-performing students will move DOWN toward the mean. This is obviously not in the best interests of the more capable students, but there is clearly a political undertone here. Tracking smacks of elitism and creates a tiered social system (in your case, a FOUR-class society!) that some people object to. So your elitist, suspicious mind is right on track!! :D I LOL about your comment about lying with statistics. It's just a matter of perspective. Depending on what position you are trying to advance, you either focus on measures of central tendency (measures of "typicality") like the mean, OR you focus on the shape of the distribution as a whole, particularly honing in on the number of individuals who fall in the tails (the extremes) of the curve rather than the center. Both perspectives are "right", and neither of them is lying, except perhaps by omission. :smug:

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, I LOVE this! This so explains why when I get invited to a party, I always want to go, and then by the day of the party I'm reluctant. I'd never heard of this before!

That is one of my favorite lectures, because everyone instantly identifies with it and can think of examples from their own life. I can't count the number of times I have been excited about something when it was still far off but come to anticipate it with sick dread when the event is on the horizon.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I love graphs, examples, and variations. :) So were you still high approach-motivation when it was time to get dressed to go meet him?

Yep, even then, my approach motivation outweighed my avoidance motivation. However, that has now changed. :( Right at the moment, I think I am at the true ambivalence point. I am frozen, stuck, confused, and stressed by the feeling of absolute indecision.:?:

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, definitely. For one thing, thin women need to be concerned about calcium. I think Vitamin D and calcium are interrelated, too -- you need one to absorb the other, I think.

Yep, the two are definitely related. So I need that vitamin D, being that I qualify as a "thin woman"!!! :D Seriously, I know that my frame is small and my bones are delicate, so this is a legitimate concern.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
:) Glad I didn't need to call the Marietta cops to go out looking for your body.

But good to know you'd have had my back if it became necessary!!

post 2 of 2

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (no change, grr, even though I ate low yesterday), got no exercise, but I have class tomorrow and hoping to make it as back is somewhat better. Gotta run, too, so I'll see you tomorrow!

Hopefully tomorrow you will reap the benefits of your restrained eating! Hope you back improved enough to let you do your exercise class.

my report: weight was down .4 this morning, but that will definitely change tomorrow. Had a bad eating day today, eating 7-8 NS desserts tonight as I struggled with my absolute ambivalence about the dating issue. I also have to make another big decision. I got asked today to take over a class at another campus, for a colleague who has a medical emergency. I think it would be for the rest of the semester. This would involve a lot of time and travel and stress, and I have to decide by tomorrow. If I need to get ready to take over someone else's course by next week, I may need to spend the weekend doing that instead of spending it with my eharmony match. Had a personal training session today (but I'm sure it was not nearly enough to burn up the extra calories I ate today). Blech.

Hope you had a better day than I did!!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I've never been to Gambier, but I am familiar with Mount Vernon. I know someone who teaches at Mount Vernon Nazarene College, and I used to visit him there. You and Jane have been on a lot of campus visits at this point. Do you think she is afraid to commit to a decision? How is she doing emotionally these days?

We've probably visited upwards of two dozen campuses! No, it's not so much that she's afraid to commit -- it's that a lot of schools take it as a sign of high interest if you've visited, so it's almost part of the application process. And because of various timing issues, some of the schools she thought she'd be most interested in are ones that she couldn't visit until late in the process, like Davidson. We would have liked to combine the visits to Emory and Davidson, but Davidson's admissions office wasn't during Jane's winter break, and we couldn't do both of them during a normal weekend without her missing school, and she's missed so much school this year already, so we ended up visiting Davidson after she'd already finished her applications. And in a few cases, she ended up having to make a second visit, like to Kenyon to complete the interview. Now she's waiting to hear which schools she gets accepted at, and I think she's trying to not think too hard about which is her top choice at this point until she knows what her choices are.

Originally Posted by :
I used to get a lot of spontaneous, unexplained muscle pulls, too, along with all sorts of assorted aches and pains I couldn't account for. Isn't it amazing how core strength has so many unanticipated benefits? Is your back feeling better now?

I can still feel the pull a little, but it's just a twinge. I'm up and dressed for my class this morning. :)

Originally Posted by :
What thoughts run through your mind when you see that your weight is so close to your hard stop? What exactly is it that freaks you out so much? What are you telling yourself would happen if you do happen to exceed that hard stop (which is pretty inevitable at some point)?

Actually the thing I really would hate is having to set my sig file back to zero! LOL!

Originally Posted by :
I would guess that your son is unusual in being able to make that transition so successfully. One of the criticisms about tracking, of course, is that it consigns certain students to a lower level of achievement and precludes certain opportunities later on, simply because the student wasn't at the appropriate level of readiness at the time that the tracks were initially assigned.

Yes, he was unusual. His teachers used to comment on his work ethic pretty much consistently. One of his teachers told me she'd once caught him in his academic study hall -- a supported study hall -- looking at some other kids who were goofing off and clearly thinking "What do these fools think this is?" I don't know how easy it is for kids to move out of the standards track. I doubt it's any coincidence that Michael was one of the ones who did and he happens to be from an intact, high-expectations family with significant resources of pretty much every kind. Other than developmentally disabled students, most of the kids in standards classes at Sycamore are from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

Originally Posted by :
Tracking is definitely beneficial for the high-aptitude kids, except for the few cases in which someone gets put in the "fast track" but is unprepared for it and falls behind. In theory (if not always in practice), tracking is also good for the lowest-aptitude students, because they get put in smaller classes, with more personal attention, with a curriculum that challenges them without overwhelming them, and they are not constantly being compared against higher-achieving students with whom they can not realistically compete. It's the group in the middle, statistically the largest group, whose needs are least likely to be met by tracking, largely because they lose the benefit of having the example of the higher-achieving students to aspire to.

Probably the most common complaint I hear from other parents in our school district is that Sycamore serves the gifted and the kids on IEPs superbly but not enough attention is paid to the issues of the kids in the middle. I can't speak to it from personal experience, but from the outside looking in it seems like crap. :) We have like a 98% graduation rate and something like 95% go on to some sort of post-hs education. Sycamore prepares students so well that it's very common for kids to report their freshman year of college feels like "13th grade." Michael graduated with a 2.8 at Sycamore -- his grades have gone up more than half a point in college, and I've heard more similar stories than the opposite. What more can you really expect from a school than that? A special parent group for the parents of kids in the middle? Trips to Europe that are only for kids who don't take AP European History or five years of Spanish? But again, I didn't really have a kid in the middle.

Gotta go to class -- want to submit this so I don't lose it, but I'll be back later! (later) Okay, back. Man, class kicked my butt this morning. 30/30 circuits where we were supposed to push as hard as we could during the work period, then rest. 30 seconds sounded like a long time to rest, but I was literally out of breath the entire time.

Originally Posted by :
And, in their case, many of them COULD realistically benefit from being compared to those who outperform them. But ALL of the benefits of tracking are, of course, predicated on the assumption that aptitude can be accurately measured and therefore tracks can be appropriately assigned, which is often not the case. IQ tests and academic achievement tests of all kinds are far from perfectly reliable and make bad predictions about future achievement in around 40% of cases, on average.

Yeah, they start identifying "gifted" kids in 4th grade and pull them out to the "resource room" for a class or two a day. I dislike the name. It just screams the idea that these kids are getting access to resources the rest of the student population doesn't. Jane was one of the kids being pulled out, and the classroom wasn't any different from any other classroom. The class were just moving faster in writing and math.

Originally Posted by :
There will be both false positives (kids whose test scores suggest they can do work that they actually will not be able to do, resulting in being placed in a track that is too demanding for them) and false negatives (kids whose test scores underestimate their abilities, placing them in tracks that will prevent them from achieving up to their full potential). And IQ scores can vary substantially over time, which is obviously a problem, considering that tracking is based on a "snapshot" taken at one point in time, and once kids get assigned to a lower track, they get further and further behind, making it less and less likely that they will ever be able to move out of that track.

Yeah, the system's a little screwy. In 4th grade, for the resource room, you have to have the test scores. By 7th grade, you can opt in -- kids who are performing can move into accelerated classes with a teacher recommendation at the Jr Hi, and any student can opt into any class in high school. But the problem is that if you don't get onto the accelerated math track in 4th grade when they've got the transition worked out, getting onto it later requires you to actually SKIP a year of math or wait to get on that track until High School, when you can take Geometry over the summer and then transition without skipping a year of math.

Originally Posted by :
(The valedictorian of my college class was 12 years old. I always wondered what her social life was like!)

Good god. I wonder where she is now? Have you ever googled her?

Originally Posted by :
And repeated failure isn't much better when it means that students will be grouped with others who are substantially younger and smaller.

That actually still happens with developmentally disabled students, sometimes with very unhappy results. With an IEP that supports it, parents can pretty much keep their kids at a school for EVER, which in one case meant a 15-yo boy with autism and Down Syndrome was riding the bus with kids as young as 5 and attending class with 10 year olds. They finally had to take him off the bus, as he was touching girls, but his parents believed it was helpful to him to be attending the same school he'd always attended so he stayed in the fourth grade the entire time my kids were at the elementary school.

Originally Posted by :
It doesn't surprise me at all that the pressure would come from the parents of the students who would have the most to lose if that second track was eliminated. But I think four tracks is pretty unusual. Three is most typical.

Yeah, four seems like a lot. But my kids have used all four levels, so for us at least, it worked out. Because Sycamore serves both ends of the spectrum so well, it draws both groups into the district. We did a TON of research (surprise!) when we were moving out of the city before Michael started school, and we think it's the best system in town for both kids. We literally never had to fight the district once to get Michael's needs met, and the system served Jane about as perfectly as a large district could. There were other districts that would have served Jane as well -- some possibly better, because they're MUCH smaller and she would have likely been a standout -- but none that would have been as good for both. Those smaller districts tend to send their special needs kids to the larger districts nearby, who can afford to serve them more easily because they can take advantage of economies of scale. We didn't want that for Michael.

Originally Posted by :
Eliminating the tracking, and thereby homogenizing the curriculum while simultaneously diversifying the make-up of the class, has the effect of producing regression to the mean. That is, the performance of the lowest performing students will move UP toward the mean, while the performance of the top-performing students will move DOWN toward the mean. This is obviously not in the best interests of the more capable students, but there is clearly a political undertone here.

Exactly -- and I do see the major benefit to keeping those top-performers in the mainstream.

Originally Posted by :
Yep, even then, my approach motivation outweighed my avoidance motivation. However, that has now changed. :( Right at the moment, I think I am at the true ambivalence point. I am frozen, stuck, confused, and stressed by the feeling of absolute indecision.:?:

What decision do you feel you need to make? Answer in email if you want.

Originally Posted by :
Had a bad eating day today, eating 7-8 NS desserts tonight as I struggled with my absolute ambivalence about the dating issue. I also have to make another big decision. I got asked today to take over a class at another campus, for a colleague who has a medical emergency. I think it would be for the rest of the semester. This would involve a lot of time and travel and stress, and I have to decide by tomorrow. If I need to get ready to take over someone else's course by next week, I may need to spend the weekend doing that instead of spending it with my eharmony match. Had a personal training session today (but I'm sure it was not nearly enough to burn up the extra calories I ate today). Blech.

Good grief -- do you really have time to take another class on? Aren't you still taking on the classes of your colleague who's on sabbatical? Which campus would you have to be traveling to? Is there a benefit to you to taking this on? Is it three days a week you'd have to do this?

So, what were you thinking when you ate those desserts? Is there anywhere you can store your extra desserts -- maybe in your office at school? -- and just bring home enough to have just a couple days' worth on hand? I'm wondering if the desserts weren't as readily available in large amounts, you might find it helpful?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
We've probably visited upwards of two dozen campuses! No, it's not so much that she's afraid to commit -- it's that a lot of schools take it as a sign of high interest if you've visited, so it's almost part of the application process. And because of various timing issues, some of the schools she thought she'd be most interested in are ones that she couldn't visit until late in the process, like Davidson. We would have liked to combine the visits to Emory and Davidson, but Davidson's admissions office wasn't during Jane's winter break, and we couldn't do both of them during a normal weekend without her missing school, and she's missed so much school this year already, so we ended up visiting Davidson after she'd already finished her applications. And in a few cases, she ended up having to make a second visit, like to Kenyon to complete the interview. Now she's waiting to hear which schools she gets accepted at, and I think she's trying to not think too hard about which is her top choice at this point until she knows what her choices are.

Jane is lucky to have you to take her on so many visits. Has she gotten over the mono yet? I'm glad she's not stressing unduly over the decision she has to make. I continue to be so impressed by how well she seems to know herself and what she wants and needs out of her education.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I can still feel the pull a little, but it's just a twinge. I'm up and dressed for my class this morning. :)

YAY!! Elyse, or Giselle?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Actually the thing I really would hate is having to set my sig file back to zero! LOL!

Yeah, that would definitely suck!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yes, he was unusual. His teachers used to comment on his work ethic pretty much consistently. One of his teachers told me she'd once caught him in his academic study hall -- a supported study hall -- looking at some other kids who were goofing off and clearly thinking "What do these fools think this is?" I don't know how easy it is for kids to move out of the standards track. I doubt it's any coincidence that Michael was one of the ones who did and he happens to be from an intact, high-expectations family with significant resources of pretty much every kind. Other than developmentally disabled students, most of the kids in standards classes at Sycamore are from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

Your kids just sound too good to be TRUE!! You definitely did something right!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Probably the most common complaint I hear from other parents in our school district is that Sycamore serves the gifted and the kids on IEPs superbly but not enough attention is paid to the issues of the kids in the middle. I can't speak to it from personal experience, but from the outside looking in it seems like crap. :) We have like a 98% graduation rate and something like 95% go on to some sort of post-hs education. Sycamore prepares students so well that it's very common for kids to report their freshman year of college feels like "13th grade." Michael graduated with a 2.8 at Sycamore -- his grades have gone up more than half a point in college, and I've heard more similar stories than the opposite. What more can you really expect from a school than that? A special parent group for the parents of kids in the middle? Trips to Europe that are only for kids who don't take AP European History or five years of Spanish? But again, I didn't really have a kid in the middle.

The graduation rate alone, not to mention the percentage who go on with their education, says that the middle kids are not being shortchanged in any meaningful way. That is a record that few high schools can claim. But people will always find something to whine about.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Gotta go to class -- want to submit this so I don't lose it, but I'll be back later! (later) Okay, back. Man, class kicked my butt this morning. 30/30 circuits where we were supposed to push as hard as we could during the work period, then rest. 30 seconds sounded like a long time to rest, but I was literally out of breath the entire time.

Believe me, I know what you mean. 30 seconds of rest is nothing. My heart rate stays elevated for my entire training sessions, and I'm often gasping for breath. But doesn't it feel really good in a strange sort of way?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, they start identifying "gifted" kids in 4th grade and pull them out to the "resource room" for a class or two a day. I dislike the name. It just screams the idea that these kids are getting access to resources the rest of the student population doesn't. Jane was one of the kids being pulled out, and the classroom wasn't any different from any other classroom. The class were just moving faster in writing and math. Yeah, the system's a little screwy. In 4th grade, for the resource room, you have to have the test scores. By 7th grade, you can opt in -- kids who are performing can move into accelerated classes with a teacher recommendation at the Jr Hi, and any student can opt into any class in high school. But the problem is that if you don't get onto the accelerated math track in 4th grade when they've got the transition worked out, getting onto it later requires you to actually SKIP a year of math or wait to get on that track until High School, when you can take Geometry over the summer and then transition without skipping a year of math.

Those are just the kind of systemic idiosyncrasies that get outsiders all riled up and screaming about elitism and discrimination. And in some ways they have a point. There just is no foolproof system, and there's really no way to give everyone "equal opportunity", no matter how politically correct that lofty goal might sound.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good god. I wonder where she is now? Have you ever googled her?

Nope, but I should try it. I believe she was Korean and had been sent to the US by the Korean government. Her major was physics, I think. I remember when she was announced as valedictorian that none of us had a clue who she was. But of course she had started college two years after the rest of us!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
That actually still happens with developmentally disabled students, sometimes with very unhappy results. With an IEP that supports it, parents can pretty much keep their kids at a school for EVER, which in one case meant a 15-yo boy with autism and Down Syndrome was riding the bus with kids as young as 5 and attending class with 10 year olds. They finally had to take him off the bus, as he was touching girls, but his parents believed it was helpful to him to be attending the same school he'd always attended so he stayed in the fourth grade the entire time my kids were at the elementary school.

Those parents would have to be just plain delusional. There's no way that kid's needs could truly have been served.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, four seems like a lot. But my kids have used all four levels, so for us at least, it worked out. Because Sycamore serves both ends of the spectrum so well, it draws both groups into the district. We did a TON of research (surprise!) when we were moving out of the city before Michael started school, and we think it's the best system in town for both kids. We literally never had to fight the district once to get Michael's needs met, and the system served Jane about as perfectly as a large district could. There were other districts that would have served Jane as well -- some possibly better, because they're MUCH smaller and she would have likely been a standout -- but none that would have been as good for both. Those smaller districts tend to send their special needs kids to the larger districts nearby, who can afford to serve them more easily because they can take advantage of economies of scale. We didn't want that for Michael.

No, it doesn't surprise me one iota that you would have so carefully researched the school districts. And obviously both of your kids reaped the benefits of your well-considered choice.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
What decision do you feel you need to make? Answer in email if you want.

I'll email you tomorrow. I owe you one anyway. It's too late, and I'm too tired, to do it right now.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good grief -- do you really have time to take another class on? Aren't you still taking on the classes of your colleague who's on sabbatical? Which campus would you have to be traveling to? Is there a benefit to you to taking this on? Is it three days a week you'd have to do this?

It would be doable, if not easily. My colleague is back, so that's not an issue. (Sabbaticals are just for one semester.) I'd be going to the Canton campus, about a 40 minute drive, and it would be two afternoons a week. The details haven't been finalized yet, but it's looking like I will be doing it. I would at least get paid well for it, which could even affect my retirement benefits (depending on how soon I retire), and it might not be for the whole semester. The person's medical prognosis is uncertain, and it is unknown how quickly she will be able to come back.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So, what were you thinking when you ate those desserts? Is there anywhere you can store your extra desserts -- maybe in your office at school? -- and just bring home enough to have just a couple days' worth on hand? I'm wondering if the desserts weren't as readily available in large amounts, you might find it helpful?

Part of the problem is that I didn't have any of those desserts on hand at all for a couple of weeks. (I ran out and didn't reorder, because of the issues I was having with them.) I just got a new order yesterday. But tonight I only ate one. I was going to put them in a closet I don't use regularly, but I like your idea better. I only have problems at night, so if the desserts are at school, the problem would be solved. As for what I was thinking, at first it was something along the lines of how I NEEDED the comfort. Then once I got going, I switched into thinking that I might as well just keep going and then start over the next day. In other words, old, bad, habits of thought.

my report: My weight was up 1.2 pounds this morning (no surprise at all). Did not exercise. Read my cards. Stayed perfectly OP all day. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. I am very hungry right now but am going to go to bed without getting into those desserts!

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Jane is lucky to have you to take her on so many visits. Has she gotten over the mono yet? I'm glad she's not stressing unduly over the decision she has to make. I continue to be so impressed by how well she seems to know herself and what she wants and needs out of her education.

She seems to be mostly over the mono, though occasionally she is still fatigued when she shouldn't be -- a few hours after a full night's sleep, for instance -- but she's not complaining as much about difficulty concentrating. She performed a miracle the final two weeks of the semester and finals week and ended up with a 3.5 before weighting, which we hope shouldn't damage her with any of her schools given the mono, which her counselor discussed in her recommendation letter. We'd been pretty worried that her grades would drop so much that it would cause issues, but this is not far from her current cumulative, which is like a 3.8 unweighted.

Originally Posted by :
Your kids just sound too good to be TRUE!! You definitely did something right!

Honestly, I think we're just lucky. We just got easy kids. Literally every bit of fretting we've had over our kids has been for something the kids themselves couldn't really control.

Originally Posted by :
That is a record that few high schools can claim. But people will always find something to whine about.

That's kind of how I feel, too, but since I haven't really had an average-kid parenting experience, I keep my mouth shut. :)

Originally Posted by :
Believe me, I know what you mean. 30 seconds of rest is nothing. My heart rate stays elevated for my entire training sessions, and I'm often gasping for breath. But doesn't it feel really good in a strange sort of way?

It does. Though when I'm starting the second of four five-station cycles and it's burpees AGAIN and I'm going to have them two more times after this... :stars:

Originally Posted by :
Nope, but I should try it. I believe she was Korean and had been sent to the US by the Korean government. Her major was physics, I think. I remember when she was announced as valedictorian that none of us had a clue who she was. But of course she had started college two years after the rest of us!

Wow. Poor kid. I can't imagine how isolated she must have been.

Originally Posted by :
Those parents would have to be just plain delusional. There's no way that kid's needs could truly have been served.

Yeah, it was hard to know how Jacob's needs could ever really be served. Autism on top of Down Syndrome was just heartbreaking. He was in Jane's fourth grade class, and if any of the kids could get Jacob to say a word to them that was audible to his aide, the class won a pizza party (Jacob's favorite food) that week.

Originally Posted by :
No, it doesn't surprise me one iota that you would have so carefully researched the school districts. And obviously both of your kids reaped the benefits of your well-considered choice.

:::sigh::: You just never know...there's always the temptation to think, "what if instead we'd..." As it turned out, Michael didn't have needs as significant as we'd allowed for, and in retrospect, knowing her as I do now, Jane might have had an easier time at a smaller school. But you can't know.

Originally Posted by :
It would be doable, if not easily. My colleague is back, so that's not an issue. (Sabbaticals are just for one semester.)

Oh, I'm so glad! What a difference that must feel like right there!

Originally Posted by :
I'd be going to the Canton campus, about a 40 minute drive, and it would be two afternoons a week. The details haven't been finalized yet, but it's looking like I will be doing it. I would at least get paid well for it, which could even affect my retirement benefits (depending on how soon I retire), and it might not be for the whole semester. The person's medical prognosis is uncertain, and it is unknown how quickly she will be able to come back.

So that makes two days a week into long days for you? That kind of sucks, since you had such a crappy schedule last semester, but it sounds like you think you'll be able to work it out. Is it a class you've taught before? Something you will enjoy teaching, I hope?

Originally Posted by :
I'll email you tomorrow. I owe you one anyway. It's too late, and I'm too tired, to do it right now.

All-righty, then. :)

Originally Posted by :
Part of the problem is that I didn't have any of those desserts on hand at all for a couple of weeks. (I ran out and didn't reorder, because of the issues I was having with them.) I just got a new order yesterday. But tonight I only ate one. I was going to put them in a closet I don't use regularly, but I like your idea better. I only have problems at night, so if the desserts are at school, the problem would be solved. As for what I was thinking, at first it was something along the lines of how I NEEDED the comfort. Then once I got going, I switched into thinking that I might as well just keep going and then start over the next day. In other words, old, bad, habits of thought.

Yeah, that 'I've blown today, might as well blow it big and get back on track tomorrow' is a tempting one.

Originally Posted by :
my report: My weight was up 1.2 pounds this morning (no surprise at all). Did not exercise. Read my cards. Stayed perfectly OP all day. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. I am very hungry right now but am going to go to bed without getting into those desserts!

Yay, you!

Report: weighed (down 1.6 to 2 under goal, and I absolutely do not deserve it even a little.) I will never understand why I can eat nice and low for three days and see zero movement on the scale and then go out to trivia and not do TOO badly but still -- wine, and a half a "lite" sub which really probably isn't all that lite, skipped the chips -- and drop a pound an a half. HUH? I'd been dreading getting on the scale this morning. Oh, well, I'll take it. Today's actually also a good day for me to have a low day again, so I'm going to aim low again today. In addition to my class I got a small amount of spontaneous exercise -- couldn't walk to class because it was actively raining, but I did walk to an appointment later -- and other than the wine/sub at trivia, I ate very reasonably. Ate slowly and sitting down, though I probably was pretty distracted during the sub -- not distracted enough to pick it up and munch the entire thing, though. I cut off a slice and ate that, cut off another slice and ate that, and when I got to half, I asked for a box, yay me.

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
She seems to be mostly over the mono, though occasionally she is still fatigued when she shouldn't be -- a few hours after a full night's sleep, for instance -- but she's not complaining as much about difficulty concentrating. She performed a miracle the final two weeks of the semester and finals week and ended up with a 3.5 before weighting, which we hope shouldn't damage her with any of her schools given the mono, which her counselor discussed in her recommendation letter. We'd been pretty worried that her grades would drop so much that it would cause issues, but this is not far from her current cumulative, which is like a 3.8 unweighted.

That's great that she is feeling better, and even greater that the mono had such a minimal effect on her GPA! It's sad that college admissions have become so competitive that you have to worry that getting sick could impact her chances.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Honestly, I think we're just lucky. We just got easy kids. Literally every bit of fretting we've had over our kids has been for something the kids themselves couldn't really control.

There definitely is such a thing as inborn temperament, and some kids are just inherently "easy". But I'm sure your kids have also been the beneficiaries of superb parenting!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
That's kind of how I feel, too, but since I haven't really had an average-kid parenting experience, I keep my mouth shut. :)

Probably a smart choice on your part!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
It does. Though when I'm starting the second of four five-station cycles and it's burpees AGAIN and I'm going to have them two more times after this... :stars:

Yes, but then you feel so good when you finally STOP!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Wow. Poor kid. I can't imagine how isolated she must have been.

I just tried Googling her, and I came across many journal articles that are written in a strange symbolic language that I assume is Korean. So it would appear that she has been successful at least intellectually--no surprise there!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, it was hard to know how Jacob's needs could ever really be served. Autism on top of Down Syndrome was just heartbreaking. He was in Jane's fourth grade class, and if any of the kids could get Jacob to say a word to them that was audible to his aide, the class won a pizza party (Jacob's favorite food) that week.

Autism AND Down Syndrome would be an almost unsurmountable burden. My heart rate actually increased when I read about the pizza--I imagined how horrified and singled out I would have felt if my classmates had been given an incentive to get me to speak! ACK. But of course I was smart enough to recognize how humiliating that would have been.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
:::sigh::: You just never know...there's always the temptation to think, "what if instead we'd..." As it turned out, Michael didn't have needs as significant as we'd allowed for, and in retrospect, knowing her as I do now, Jane might have had an easier time at a smaller school. But you can't know.

Nope, you can't know, even with all the tests in the world. That's why tracking is such an iffy enterprise. But you are lucky that you had the resources to consider so many different options for your kids.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, I'm so glad! What a difference that must feel like right there! So that makes two days a week into long days for you? That kind of sucks, since you had such a crappy schedule last semester, but it sounds like you think you'll be able to work it out. Is it a class you've taught before? Something you will enjoy teaching, I hope?

I already have two 15-16 hour days a week (because of having to travel to the Kent Campus for long meetings), and taking on that class would mean four long days. I decided not to do the class, though. They wanted me to take it over with no idea when it would end, since the professor I'd be replacing has an uncertain prognosis and could be back at any time--or not until the end of the semester. Because of that, they wanted me to use HER syllabus and lesson plans rather than my own. But when I checked out what she was doing, I knew there was no way I could adapt to her style. I had heard that her courses are perceived as very easy by the students and had even heard that several students had intentionally gone to the Canton campus to take the course in order to avoid taking it from me! And looking at her materials certainly confirmed that. Her lessons were absurdly basic, and her policies were so lenient (for instance, dropping the lowest test score--ridiculous in an upper division, majors course) that I just couldn't abide by them. Out of the 8 times the class was supposed to have met so far, they have met only 4 times. One of those times, they watched a video, and another time they did some kind of demonstration, so they've learned little if anything so far. One of my students is in that class, and I asked her if I could look at her lecture notes. She had a page and a half, when I would have produced 40-45 pages of notes by this point. All in all, it would have been an extremely stressful experience for me, so I decided to pass on it even though I know that leaves the campus, and especially the students, in the lurch.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, that 'I've blown today, might as well blow it big and get back on track tomorrow' is a tempting one.

And I did the same thing again tonight, after having a drink at happy hour and then talking to my "match" on the phone. (We had a good conversation, and he is coming up here on Saturday to see me.) It freaks me out to be "eating" my emotions that way, and it just has to stop. Tomorrow I am going to try eating all protein and see if it helps.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yay, you!

I'm definitely not feeling very YAY ME at the moment. :(

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (down 1.6 to 2 under goal, and I absolutely do not deserve it even a little.) I will never understand why I can eat nice and low for three days and see zero movement on the scale and then go out to trivia and not do TOO badly but still -- wine, and a half a "lite" sub which really probably isn't all that lite, skipped the chips -- and drop a pound an a half. HUH? I'd been dreading getting on the scale this morning. Oh, well, I'll take it. Today's actually also a good day for me to have a low day again, so I'm going to aim low again today. In addition to my class I got a small amount of spontaneous exercise -- couldn't walk to class because it was actively raining, but I did walk to an appointment later -- and other than the wine/sub at trivia, I ate very reasonably. Ate slowly and sitting down, though I probably was pretty distracted during the sub -- not distracted enough to pick it up and munch the entire thing, though. I cut off a slice and ate that, cut off another slice and ate that, and when I got to half, I asked for a box, yay me.

Well, like Beck says, your weight is always exactly what it is supposed to be, and when it seems otherwise, it's because you haven't identified all of the relevant variables. But I know exactly what you mean. I am very impressed by your description of how you ate the sub--very, very impressed!

report: weight was down .4 (but I'm sure it will shoot up tomorrow). Ate OP until evening and then fell apart. No exercise (have a training session in the morning).

Hope you had a great day and were rewarded for it on the scale

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
There definitely is such a thing as inborn temperament, and some kids are just inherently "easy". But I'm sure your kids have also been the beneficiaries of superb parenting!

Is there any such thing? :D I really can only see all the mistakes I've made. Actually, I can't see them all, even -- Jane recently told me something I'd said to her when she was nine that I didn't even remember SAYING and that she had at the time taken deeply to heart.

Originally Posted by :
Autism AND Down Syndrome would be an almost unsurmountable burden. My heart rate actually increased when I read about the pizza--I imagined how horrified and singled out I would have felt if my classmates had been given an incentive to get me to speak! ACK. But of course I was smart enough to recognize how humiliating that would have been.

I hadn't thought how that would strike you -- sorry! I'm pretty sure this would have been his parents' idea and on their dime -- they would have put that into his IEP. I do seriously doubt Jacob had any feelings of humiliation about it whatsoever. His cognitive level seemed to be extremely low. The rest of the kids would be working and he'd be sitting at a table with his aide working on a puzzle designed for toddlers. I literally never saw him without his aide, who went into the restroom with him.

Originally Posted by :
I already have two 15-16 hour days a week (because of having to travel to the Kent Campus for long meetings), and taking on that class would mean four long days. I decided not to do the class, though. They wanted me to take it over with no idea when it would end, since the professor I'd be replacing has an uncertain prognosis and could be back at any time--or not until the end of the semester. Because of that, they wanted me to use HER syllabus and lesson plans rather than my own. But when I checked out what she was doing, I knew there was no way I could adapt to her style. I had heard that her courses are perceived as very easy by the students and had even heard that several students had intentionally gone to the Canton campus to take the course in order to avoid taking it from me! And looking at her materials certainly confirmed that. Her lessons were absurdly basic, and her policies were so lenient (for instance, dropping the lowest test score--ridiculous in an upper division, majors course) that I just couldn't abide by them. Out of the 8 times the class was supposed to have met so far, they have met only 4 times. One of those times, they watched a video, and another time they did some kind of demonstration, so they've learned little if anything so far. One of my students is in that class, and I asked her if I could look at her lecture notes. She had a page and a half, when I would have produced 40-45 pages of notes by this point. All in all, it would have been an extremely stressful experience for me, so I decided to pass on it even though I know that leaves the campus, and especially the students, in the lurch.

Good grief. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about leaving people in the lurch -- it sounds like literally anyone could teach to that syllabus! :D

Originally Posted by :
And I did the same thing again tonight, after having a drink at happy hour and then talking to my "match" on the phone. (We had a good conversation, and he is coming up here on Saturday to see me.) It freaks me out to be "eating" my emotions that way, and it just has to stop. Tomorrow I am going to try eating all protein and see if it helps.

You mean like an Atkins thing? Aren't the NS desserts supposed to be low-glycemic -- are you thinking they're triggering cravings?

Originally Posted by :
I'm definitely not feeling very YAY ME at the moment. :(

A couple of unplanned eating sessions going overboard on NS desserts is no reason to clobber yourself. You're doing LOTS of things very, very well. You're exercising, you're facing your anxieties, you're making good decisions when pressed to make a choice that wouldn't be good for you. A few extra desserts is not a catastrophe, even two days in a row.


Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), exercised this morning, am probably going to get more spontaneous exercise today because I won't have a car. Ate slowly, mindfully, pretty reasonably. Am aiming for a low day again today as we're invited to a Super Bowl party on Sunday.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Is there any such thing? :D I really can only see all the mistakes I've made. Actually, I can't see them all, even -- Jane recently told me something I'd said to her when she was nine that I didn't even remember SAYING and that she had at the time taken deeply to heart.

That just makes you NORMAL. And don't you think it is significant that Jane is able to TELL you about how she was affected by what you said?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I hadn't thought how that would strike you -- sorry! I'm pretty sure this would have been his parents' idea and on their dime -- they would have put that into his IEP. I do seriously doubt Jacob had any feelings of humiliation about it whatsoever. His cognitive level seemed to be extremely low. The rest of the kids would be working and he'd be sitting at a table with his aide working on a puzzle designed for toddlers. I literally never saw him without his aide, who went into the restroom with him.

Nothing to be sorry about!! I was just musing about how different things are these days and wondering how, or if, my life would have been different if there had been IEPs and behavioral interventions and so forth.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good grief. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about leaving people in the lurch -- it sounds like literally anyone could teach to that syllabus! :D

LOL!! Yes, that's one way to look at it!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
You mean like an Atkins thing? Aren't the NS desserts supposed to be low-glycemic -- are you thinking they're triggering cravings?

Yes, they are, but they definitely do induce cravings. EVERY single time I have overeaten to any substantial degree, it has been those darn desserts that I've gone overboard on. I did stick to all protein today, and it did help me feel more in control, which I definitely needed before my "big day" tomorrow.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
A couple of unplanned eating sessions going overboard on NS desserts is no reason to clobber yourself. You're doing LOTS of things very, very well. You're exercising, you're facing your anxieties, you're making good decisions when pressed to make a choice that wouldn't be good for you. A few extra desserts is not a catastrophe, even two days in a row.

You're right, and I was thinking along similar lines today. There is NOTHING that could possibly trigger more intense overeating urges than the possibility of a romantic relationship. So the very fact that I am not eating around the clock is a huge indicator of how far I have come. And I was able to eat very sparingly today despite being hungry all day long and despite the anticipation of tomorrow's date. And I am far more excited about tomorrow than I am nervous. I just marvel sometimes at how much I have changed.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), exercised this morning, am probably going to get more spontaneous exercise today because I won't have a car. Ate slowly, mindfully, pretty reasonably. Am aiming for a low day again today as we're invited to a Super Bowl party on Sunday.

YAY on being 2 pounds under goal! Why won't you have a car? Are you a football fan, or are you just a fan of Super Bowl parties? :) (I don't understand football at all and have no interest in figuring it out, but going to a Super Bowl party might be fun!)

my report: Was up a pound (no surprise there). Had a personal training session, which included a great feeling of accomplishment--I was watching a woman use the machine where you balance on your forearms with your weight suspended and then lift your legs up at a 90 degree angle to your torso to work your abs, and I commented to my trainer that I was amazed that a woman could do that. He said he thought I could do it, and of course I said there was NO WAY that I could even support my weight on my arms that way, no less lift my legs up. So he had me try it, and I did 30 reps!!!! :D That felt AWESOME! Ate all protein today and stayed under 1100 calories. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully.

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Yes, they are, but they definitely do induce cravings. EVERY single time I have overeaten to any substantial degree, it has been those darn desserts that I've gone overboard on. I did stick to all protein today, and it did help me feel more in control, which I definitely needed before my "big day" tomorrow.

Glad you felt more in control.

Originally Posted by :
You're right, and I was thinking along similar lines today. There is NOTHING that could possibly trigger more intense overeating urges than the possibility of a romantic relationship. So the very fact that I am not eating around the clock is a huge indicator of how far I have come. And I was able to eat very sparingly today despite being hungry all day long and despite the anticipation of tomorrow's date. And I am far more excited about tomorrow than I am nervous. I just marvel sometimes at how much I have changed.

:)

Originally Posted by :
YAY on being 2 pounds under goal! Why won't you have a car?

Jane had an accident -- took out a fire hydrant. :) So if I don't have anything that requires a car, I let John take mine so Jane can have his, as she has late arrival (Seniors can choose late arrival or early dismissal if they have room for it) and as she seldom is able to leave school when the busses are leaving, she also would need to be picked up. I had two meetings yesterday, but both were within walking distance so I let her take the car.

Originally Posted by :
Are you a football fan, or are you just a fan of Super Bowl parties? :) (I don't understand football at all and have no interest in figuring it out, but going to a Super Bowl party might be fun!)

I have zero interest in football -- I just go for the party. :)

Originally Posted by :
my report: Was up a pound (no surprise there). Had a personal training session, which included a great feeling of accomplishment--I was watching a woman use the machine where you balance on your forearms with your weight suspended and then lift your legs up at a 90 degree angle to your torso to work your abs, and I commented to my trainer that I was amazed that a woman could do that. He said he thought I could do it, and of course I said there was NO WAY that I could even support my weight on my arms that way, no less lift my legs up. So he had me try it, and I did 30 reps!!!! :D That felt AWESOME!

Yay, you! I'm trying to picture this machine...is this it? link

Originally Posted by :
Ate all protein today and stayed under 1100 calories. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully.

Are you planning another all-protein day? I've found it takes three to destroy my cravings.

Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), did planned exercise yesterday but ended up getting a ride from Jane to my regular Friday happy hour -- she was home from school but wanted to go to the gym so she dropped me off -- so I didn't get the spontaneous I was expecting. Ate reasonably and sitting down, but realized I've gotten out of the habit of leaving a bite; must work on that.

Hope you have a great day and a great date!

Originally Posted by va1erie:

Jane had an accident -- took out a fire hydrant. :) So if I don't have anything that requires a car, I let John take mine so Jane can have his, as she has late arrival (Seniors can choose late arrival or early dismissal if they have room for it) and as she seldom is able to leave school when the busses are leaving, she also would need to be picked up. I had two meetings yesterday, but both were within walking distance so I let her take the car.

I hope Jane wasn't hurt! I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids who are out driving. I'd be a nervous wreck, I suspect.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I have zero interest in football -- I just go for the party. :)

Thatta girl!! :D

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yay, you! I'm trying to picture this machine...is this it? link

Yep, that's it!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Are you planning another all-protein day? I've found it takes three to destroy my cravings.

Yes, I think I am going to do it for the next two or three days. I didn't today because of going out to lunch, and I am definitely struggling again tonight. My control feels very shaky.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), did planned exercise yesterday but ended up getting a ride from Jane to my regular Friday happy hour -- she was home from school but wanted to go to the gym so she dropped me off -- so I didn't get the spontaneous I was expecting. Ate reasonably and sitting down, but realized I've gotten out of the habit of leaving a bite; must work on that.

I sometimes forget to leave a bite, too. It is distressing how easy it is to get out of a good habit. But yay you for the exercise and the reasonable eating.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope you have a great day and a great date!

Once again, it was GREAT fun--really great, I enjoy his company immensely--and left me feeling like a deflated balloon. Still struggling with ambivalence despite having such a good time, or maybe BECAUSE I had such a good time! I am incredibly tired. There seems to be a pattern here!

My weight was down .4, ate reasonably (including about 3/4 of a steak wrap for lunch, with the cheese and dressing left out), ate sitting down, was pretty mindful considering the distraction of good conversation at lunch, got minimal exercise. OK, I'm gonna round up my kitty and drag my tired butt off to bed now. Hope you had a good day!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I hope Jane wasn't hurt! I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids who are out driving. I'd be a nervous wreck, I suspect.

Fortunately she's been able to learn some good young-driver lessons without herself or anyone else getting hurt. :)

Originally Posted by :
Yes, I think I am going to do it for the next two or three days. I didn't today because of going out to lunch, and I am definitely struggling again tonight. My control feels very shaky.

How did you do in the end?

Originally Posted by :
Once again, it was GREAT fun--really great, I enjoy his company immensely--and left me feeling like a deflated balloon. Still struggling with ambivalence despite having such a good time, or maybe BECAUSE I had such a good time! I am incredibly tired. There seems to be a pattern here!

Is it just that you're so anxious that leaves you feeling like a deflated balloon? Or is it an introvertedness kind of thing -- you put so much energy out into socializing one-on-one that is takes a lot out of you?

Originally Posted by :
My weight was down .4, ate reasonably (including about 3/4 of a steak wrap for lunch, with the cheese and dressing left out), ate sitting down, was pretty mindful considering the distraction of good conversation at lunch, got minimal exercise. OK, I'm gonna round up my kitty and drag my tired butt off to bed now. Hope you had a good day!

It seems like your weight is pretty much where you want it right now -- you're under 130 again, I think, and have been?

Report: weighed (up 1.2 to .8 under goal, sigh, and there's the party tonight...avoidance motivation is catching up fast... No exercise, ate so-so -- went out for dinner before a play, ate pretty much what I'd planned, maybe slightly more, but then had a small wine-induced snackfest upon arrival home. Ah, well. I'm still under goal. :)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Fortunately she's been able to learn some good young-driver lessons without herself or anyone else getting hurt. :)

Who taught your kids to drive?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
How did you do in the end?

I went to bed instead of eating--yay me!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Is it just that you're so anxious that leaves you feeling like a deflated balloon? Or is it an introvertedness kind of thing -- you put so much energy out into socializing one-on-one that is takes a lot out of you?

There's certainly an element of anxiety to it, but I think it's mostly your second scenario. Normally when I spend a lot of one-on-one time with someone, I let the other person do all the talking. In fact, most of my friends have been huge talkers (Bethy being perhaps the most extreme case), which takes the pressure off me. But this relationship is very even; I would guess we each talk about the same amount of time. So it just exhausts me--but at the time same pleases me immensely.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
It seems like your weight is pretty much where you want it right now -- you're under 130 again, I think, and have been?

This morning I was up .6, back to 129.8. But, yes, I have been under 130 for a couple of weeks now.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (up 1.2 to .8 under goal, sigh, and there's the party tonight...avoidance motivation is catching up fast... No exercise, ate so-so -- went out for dinner before a play, ate pretty much what I'd planned, maybe slightly more, but then had a small wine-induced snackfest upon arrival home. Ah, well. I'm still under goal. :)

I hope the party was enough fun to overcome that avoidance motivation! I ate well today (protein and veggies but no bad carbs) and am feeling more controlled. No exercise. I'm still really tired and need to get to bed.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Who taught your kids to drive?

My dad, mostly. He taught Michael almost singlehandedly, did quite a bit with Jane, too.

Originally Posted by :
I went to bed instead of eating--yay me!

Yay, you!

Originally Posted by :
There's certainly an element of anxiety to it, but I think it's mostly your second scenario. Normally when I spend a lot of one-on-one time with someone, I let the other person do all the talking. In fact, most of my friends have been huge talkers (Bethy being perhaps the most extreme case), which takes the pressure off me. But this relationship is very even; I would guess we each talk about the same amount of time. So it just exhausts me--but at the time same pleases me immensely.

Glad it's a good kind of exhausted!

Originally Posted by :
This morning I was up .6, back to 129.8. But, yes, I have been under 130 for a couple of weeks now.

Very nice!

Originally Posted by :
I hope the party was enough fun to overcome that avoidance motivation! I ate well today (protein and veggies but no bad carbs) and am feeling more controlled. No exercise. I'm still really tired and need to get to bed.

We ended up only staying for most of the first half, then going home. I didn't eat too badly, didn't drink much.

Report: no change (.8 under goal), got up and went to class this morning, yay me, and now I'm HUNGRY so I'm going to have a good breakfast. Hm, maybe oatmeal...

Sorry i missed you last night. I fell asleep on the couch and then didn't want to do anyting that would wake me up too much to fall back asleep in my bed. I'm home sick today with an ocular migraine. I'll write tonight when hopefully I feel better.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Sorry i missed you last night. I fell asleep on the couch and then didn't want to do anyting that would wake me up too much to fall back asleep in my bed. I'm home sick today with an ocular migraine. I'll write tonight when hopefully I feel better.

Oh, no! Feel better!

Report: forgot to weigh this morning, grr. That's the first time in several weeks though, so not so bad. WW today for the first time in six weeks, as they were remodelling and had temporarily moved to a site that isn't as convenient for me.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
My dad, mostly. He taught Michael almost singlehandedly, did quite a bit with Jane, too.

Why your dad and not you, just out of curiosity?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
We ended up only staying for most of the first half, then going home. I didn't eat too badly, didn't drink much.

And I bet there were many opportunities to eat or drink lots of unplanned stuff!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: no change (.8 under goal), got up and went to class this morning, yay me, and now I'm HUNGRY so I'm going to have a good breakfast. Hm, maybe oatmeal...

I keep hearing about "steel-cut" oatmeal. Is that what you eat?

Originally Posted by va1erie:

Report: forgot to weigh this morning, grr. That's the first time in several weeks though, so not so bad. WW today for the first time in six weeks, as they were remodelling and had temporarily moved to a site that isn't as convenient for me.

So how was WW? You haven't said anything about that in quite some time. Do you still find it helpful?

I forgot to weigh this morning, too. I went back to bed after calling in sick. By the time I finally got up, weighing was off my radar. Had a good day eating-wise but canceled my training session. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hope you had a good one!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
So how was WW? You haven't said anything about that in quite some time. Do you still find it helpful?

I didn't make it -- got held up at the butcher's. But yes, I do find it helpful. It's just one more little nudge each week in the right direction.

Originally Posted by :
I forgot to weigh this morning, too. I went back to bed after calling in sick. By the time I finally got up, weighing was off my radar. Had a good day eating-wise but canceled my training session. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hope you had a good one!

Oh, no, a second day sick! Hope you're feeling better!

Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), went to class this morning. Wednesday morning classes right now are the exact same circuit each week, an all-out 30 seconds followed by 30 seconds of rest, 4 rounds of 5 stations, and it kicks my butt. I was out of breath almost from the start. Great workout. Ate reasonably yesterday, still keep forgetting to leave a bite. That is my goal today: rebuild that habit, it's a worthwhile one to keep.

Hope you had a good one and were feeling better!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I didn't make it -- got held up at the butcher's. But yes, I do find it helpful. It's just one more little nudge each week in the right direction.

Have you gone to the same group, with the same lecturer, all along?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), went to class this morning. Wednesday morning classes right now are the exact same circuit each week, an all-out 30 seconds followed by 30 seconds of rest, 4 rounds of 5 stations, and it kicks my butt. I was out of breath almost from the start. Great workout. Ate reasonably yesterday, still keep forgetting to leave a bite. That is my goal today: rebuild that habit, it's a worthwhile one to keep.

When you're out of breath, you know it's working! Isn't it amazing just how LONG 30 seconds can seem when you're working really hard? Sometimes I think my trainer is lying to me about how much time has passed!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope you had a good one and were feeling better!

I feel so-so. I remembered to weigh this morning and was horrified at the result--up 1.6 from 2 days ago (just when I was feeling that the Evista isn't causing a problem for me). What the.....? So I ate very sparingly today and will until I get back under 130 again. No exercise today. Ate everything very slowly and mindfully and am quite hungry at the moment, but am just going to bed. Tomorrow is one of my early mornings. Hope you had a good day!