Originally Posted by va1erie:
Still eating pretty reasonably, but drinking way too much. Fortunately there's no junk food to have a wine-induced snackfest on!

Thank goodness for the lack of junk food!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good grief! What an unusual person! LOL!

Yes, he was that! I haven't heard from him, which is actually a relief. I was contacted by another guy on eHarmony. I'd be curious to hear your gut reaction to a couple of things in his profile. In response to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I AM LOOKING FOR: "warm personable and innovative lover". In response to ADDITIONAL INFORMATION I WANT YOU TO KNOW: "I enjoy being creative in the bedroom." He's 64 years old, very fit-looking and attractive.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
She liked it! We were glad we learned AFTER she was back on the ground that a few years ago a parasail(or?) was killed when he crashed into a hotel!

ACK ACK ACK. Good thing you didn't know that beforehand! Ignorance is bliss!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I walked down twice, up once yesterday, and my ankle is again swollen badly. John wants me to take it easier, but I really like getting out.

I would think that many stairs would be pretty hard on your stress fracture, not to mention your knees! Just make sure you don't injure yourself any further!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope your weight's back down!

Don't know, since I overslept this morning, waking up just 40 minutes before my first class! I made it, but just barely. It was another of my 15 hour days, but I stayed OP all day and didn't have to eat in the car. Hopefully my weight will be down tomorrow. I also have a training session tomorrow.

Can't wait to hear about some more of your vacation adventures!

THURSDAY: Weight down .4. Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP except for having a glass of wine at happy hour. Good day!

FRIDAY: weight down .6. Had a helpful counseling session. Took a walk. Stayed OP. Another good day!

SATURDAY: weight unchanged. Stayed OP all day. Really want a snack now but am planning to go to bed early instead. Hope you are having fun!

Sorry! Their internet went out completely.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Yes, he was that! I haven't heard from him, which is actually a relief. I was contacted by another guy on eHarmony. I'd be curious to hear your gut reaction to a couple of things in his profile. In response to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I AM LOOKING FOR: "warm personable and innovative lover". In response to ADDITIONAL INFORMATION I WANT YOU TO KNOW: "I enjoy being creative in the bedroom." He's 64 years old, very fit-looking and attractive.

Well, I'd say he's not getting enough to make him happy. :) It's possibl he just wants to make it clear that he is interested in a sexual relationship. Lots of 64-year-old women would be happy to just cuddle, and he may have run into so many of those that he wants to make it clear up front that he's looking for a relationship that is not just companionship. I'd give it a chance if otherwise he sounds like someone you'd be interested in, but I'd definitely get clear before meeting in person what exactly you're looking for. Get clear on what he's looking for: is he looking for a booty call, or is he looking for a relationship that if it progresses will eventually include sex? The fact he mentioned innovative AND creative definitely demands a question: what does he mean by that? Because he may be into something you wouldn't be into, and if he is, it's better to get it clear from the get go. I'd definitely ask about that in my first contact.

Originally Posted by :
I would think that many stairs would be pretty hard on your stress fracture, not to mention your knees! Just make sure you don't injure yourself any further!

Yeah, it's been hard on the ankle! I see my doc tomorrow.

Originally Posted by :
Don't know, since I overslept this morning, waking up just 40 minutes before my first class! I made it, but just barely. It was another of my 15 hour days, but I stayed OP all day and didn't have to eat in the car. Hopefully my weight will be down tomorrow. I also have a training session tomorrow.

Can't wait to hear about some more of your vacation adventures!

THURSDAY: Weight down .4. Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP except for having a glass of wine at happy hour. Good day!

FRIDAY: weight down .6. Had a helpful counseling session. Took a walk. Stayed OP. Another good day!

SATURDAY: weight unchanged. Stayed OP all day. Really want a snack now but am planning to go to bed early instead. Hope you are having fun!

Sorry to be gone so long, and sorry to have to be brief today too! I'm in unpacking/laundry/getting back to real life chaos right now, have eighty gazillion things I'm trying to do but will try to get back to a normal post tomorrow. Weighed 116.8 this morning, so up about 5 pounds from the day before we left, but it's all good.

TTYS!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Sorry! Their internet went out completely. Well, I'd say he's not getting enough to make him happy. :) It's possibl he just wants to make it clear that he is interested in a sexual relationship. Lots of 64-year-old women would be happy to just cuddle, and he may have run into so many of those that he wants to make it clear up front that he's looking for a relationship that is not just companionship. I'd give it a chance if otherwise he sounds like someone you'd be interested in, but I'd definitely get clear before meeting in person what exactly you're looking for. Get clear on what he's looking for: is he looking for a booty call, or is he looking for a relationship that if it progresses will eventually include sex? The fact he mentioned innovative AND creative definitely demands a question: what does he mean by that? Because he may be into something you wouldn't be into, and if he is, it's better to get it clear from the get go. I'd definitely ask about that in my first contact.

Hmmmm, you put the best possible face on it, and I hadn't really thought of that possibility. Nor did my therapist when I talked with her about it on Friday. It's been close to a week since he wrote me, and I still haven't responded, so by now he has probably given up on me anyway! Frankly, he scares me a little, and I'm not sure I'm ready to handle someone who is so explicit in terms of his sexual needs (even though he is not really explicit at all, because "creative" could mean just about anything!!).

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, it's been hard on the ankle! I see my doc tomorrow.

I hope you didn't injure it any further and that you will find out tomorrow that it is healing!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Sorry to be gone so long, and sorry to have to be brief today too! I'm in unpacking/laundry/getting back to real life chaos right now, have eighty gazillion things I'm trying to do but will try to get back to a normal post tomorrow. Weighed 116.8 this morning, so up about 5 pounds from the day before we left, but it's all good.

No worries, I definitely understand that chaos of getting back to reality after a vacation. I'm glad you are OK with the weight gain. I will look forward to hearing more about your trip!

My weight was up .4 this morning, stayed OP all day (while grading statistics exams--UGH), feeling in control lately. I'm a bit heavier than I want to be but not feeling frantic about it.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Hmmmm, you put the best possible face on it, and I hadn't really thought of that possibility. Nor did my therapist when I talked with her about it on Friday. It's been close to a week since he wrote me, and I still haven't responded, so by now he has probably given up on me anyway! Frankly, he scares me a little, and I'm not sure I'm ready to handle someone who is so explicit in terms of his sexual needs (even though he is not really explicit at all, because "creative" could mean just about anything!!).

I'm kind of with you. Innovative and creative could easily be euphemisms for kinky! :)

Originally Posted by :

My weight was up .4 this morning, stayed OP all day (while grading statistics exams--UGH), feeling in control lately. I'm a bit heavier than I want to be but not feeling frantic about it.

Good that you aren't feeling frantic! WW wants you to be +/-2 pounds of goal, which would mean many days you'd be slightly over your goal and that this should be normal. I don't like that particular way of looking at it myself, but I'm sure they've got plenty of research that backs up their plan.

Report: down 2 to 14.6, yay! That makes me feel better for sure! No exercise today, ankle is still really swollen. I see the orthopod again tomorrow morning. Hoping she'll take an xray and see the radiographic signs of a healing fracture, which would be the definitive diagnostic indicator I guess.

So glad to be home! We had such a great time -- Jane went parasailing and swam with the dolphins and sea lions, we spent a day sailing and went to parties or happy hours or out to dinner with Joe & Glenn's friends every night. Did some shopping, at some fantastic mexican food and lots of shrimp. Jane got her final college acceptances (Carleton, Hamilton, Emory, Kenyon), some waitlists (Davidson, Vassar, Wesleyan, Middlebury) and a couple of rejections (Pomona and Bowdoin) over the past ten days while we were travelling and she's narrowed it down to three: Emory, Kenyon, and Colorado College. We're visiting Colorado College, which we haven't seen yet, on Wednesday-Saturday this week for an admitted students overnight program. Then next week on Thursday we drive to Emory (admitted students program but no overnight), come back Saturday. Then Monday after school we drive to Kenyon (admitted students overnight). I'm going to try to talk her into also visiting Carleton, which she hasn't visited and which is probably the "best" school she was admitted to. (I use the quotations because in general I think the various rankings are worth approximately the paper they're printed on and would never have her create her list of possibles using one, but since they do rate extremely high in pretty much every list AND they'll subsidize a visit by admitted NMfinalists AND one of their admitted student overnights is the one April weekend we're still free after visiting the other schools, it seems silly not to visit unless she's just too worn out from all the travel, which she very well might be.)

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'm kind of with you. Innovative and creative could easily be euphemisms for kinky! :)

EXACTLY! I can see when someone looks at my profile, and he's been checking mine daily, probably looking for a response from me. I'm not feeling it, though!! :o

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good that you aren't feeling frantic! WW wants you to be +/-2 pounds of goal, which would mean many days you'd be slightly over your goal and that this should be normal. I don't like that particular way of looking at it myself, but I'm sure they've got plenty of research that backs up their plan.

I'm with you on this one. I'd much rather stay below my goal than hover around it. If I find that I can't stay where I want to stay, then I'll raise my goal slightly.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: down 2 to 14.6, yay! That makes me feel better for sure! No exercise today, ankle is still really swollen. I see the orthopod again tomorrow morning. Hoping she'll take an xray and see the radiographic signs of a healing fracture, which would be the definitive diagnostic indicator I guess.

I suppose there's nothing you can do except be patient and wait for it to heal, but that's easier said than done! How are you feeling about not being able to exercise? Do you think you'll have trouble getting back into the habit again?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So glad to be home! We had such a great time -- Jane went parasailing and swam with the dolphins and sea lions, we spent a day sailing and went to parties or happy hours or out to dinner with Joe & Glenn's friends every night. Did some shopping, at some fantastic mexican food and lots of shrimp. Jane got her final college acceptances (Carleton, Hamilton, Emory, Kenyon), some waitlists (Davidson, Vassar, Wesleyan, Middlebury) and a couple of rejections (Pomona and Bowdoin) over the past ten days while we were travelling and she's narrowed it down to three: Emory, Kenyon, and Colorado College. We're visiting Colorado College, which we haven't seen yet, on Wednesday-Saturday this week for an admitted students overnight program. Then next week on Thursday we drive to Emory (admitted students program but no overnight), come back Saturday. Then Monday after school we drive to Kenyon (admitted students overnight). I'm going to try to talk her into also visiting Carleton, which she hasn't visited and which is probably the "best" school she was admitted to. (I use the quotations because in general I think the various rankings are worth approximately the paper they're printed on and would never have her create her list of possibles using one, but since they do rate extremely high in pretty much every list AND they'll subsidize a visit by admitted NMfinalists AND one of their admitted student overnights is the one April weekend we're still free after visiting the other schools, it seems silly not to visit unless she's just too worn out from all the travel, which she very well might be.)

It sounds like you packed a LOT of activity into a short time! You guys know how to live!! :D And how wonderful to come home to all that good news for Jane! I wouldn't blame her if she is feeling burned out about visiting schools, but it does seem to make sense for her to at least check out Carleton under the circumstances.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope you had a great day!

I was really tired today. I seem to sleep every other night, and last night was one of the off nights. My weight was up .2, stayed OP, no exercise but have a personal training session tomorrow. I had better get to bed. Tonight is one of the nights when I should be able to sleep, and I have a 7:55AM class tomorrow. UGH.

Hope you are getting back into the routine of normal life!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
EXACTLY! I can see when someone looks at my profile, and he's been checking mine daily, probably looking for a response from me. I'm not feeling it, though!! :o

Maybe just write back saying very directly that innovative and creative sex aren't really what you're looking for? :)

Originally Posted by :
I suppose there's nothing you can do except be patient and wait for it to heal, but that's easier said than done!

I'm in a boot now! The xrays showed a TEENSY line of healing, and the pain is not really any better than it was 2 weeks ago. Hope the boot fixes things!

Originally Posted by :
How are you feeling about not being able to exercise? Do you think you'll have trouble getting back into the habit again?

Actually I think it's an excuse. I'm going to start doing what I CAN do. I'm going to go to class tomorrow and see if it works at all, and if it doesn't I'm going to ask Elyse to help me design some circuit I can do at home while I heal.

Originally Posted by :
It sounds like you packed a LOT of activity into a short time! You guys know how to live!! :D

Having friends who are retired there and very very social was the key -- honestly it made all the difference. We went to the beachfront bar of a gay resort the first day, and the headwaiter recognized Glenn and took us to very nice seats, got a waiter right away. We tipped heavily and the next day I walked in with the girls and he recognized me and took good care of us, and after that I knew I could send the girls down by themselves and they'd be in good hands. They only had trouble once when they went to some bistro (not the gay resort) for dinner and were seated at the edge of the patio, and a passerby started bothering Jane, asking her where she was staying and if she wanted to go somewhere to party. They handled it, though -- just hung out at the restaurant until he was gone, then took a taxi home instead of walking.

Originally Posted by :
And how wonderful to come home to all that good news for Jane! I wouldn't blame her if she is feeling burned out about visiting schools, but it does seem to make sense for her to at least check out Carleton under the circumstances.

I think we're probably not going to make it to Carleton. She just thinks it's not the right school for her. I personally think she's basing her opinion on too little info, but since there's absolutely nothing wrong with the three schools she's focussed on, I'm just letting it go. :)

report: forgot to weigh this morning as I was in a hurry to get to my appt. Ate reasonably yesterday, though. Going to my WW meeting for the first time in three weeks today!

Hope your day was a good one!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Maybe just write back saying very directly that innovative and creative sex aren't really what you're looking for? :)

That would be very difficult for me to say, which of course is ridiculous! I heard from another guy today and wrote back right away, since this one didn't scare me!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'm in a boot now! The xrays showed a TEENSY line of healing, and the pain is not really any better than it was 2 weeks ago. Hope the boot fixes things! Actually I think it's an excuse. I'm going to start doing what I CAN do. I'm going to go to class tomorrow and see if it works at all, and if it doesn't I'm going to ask Elyse to help me design some circuit I can do at home while I heal.

A teensy amount of healing is better than no healing! And good for you for recognizing that the fracture could easily be an excuse that would keep you from exercising for a long time. I'll bet there are all kinds of things you can do without exacerbating the injury or disrupting the healing.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Having friends who are retired there and very very social was the key -- honestly it made all the difference. We went to the beachfront bar of a gay resort the first day, and the headwaiter recognized Glenn and took us to very nice seats, got a waiter right away. We tipped heavily and the next day I walked in with the girls and he recognized me and took good care of us, and after that I knew I could send the girls down by themselves and they'd be in good hands. They only had trouble once when they went to some bistro (not the gay resort) for dinner and were seated at the edge of the patio, and a passerby started bothering Jane, asking her where she was staying and if she wanted to go somewhere to party. They handled it, though -- just hung out at the restaurant until he was gone, then took a taxi home instead of walking.

Knowing the right people and tipping heavily go a long way!! Good for Jane for keeping her head in what could have been a scary situation. I continue to be amazed by her maturity.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I think we're probably not going to make it to Carleton. She just thinks it's not the right school for her. I personally think she's basing her opinion on too little info, but since there's absolutely nothing wrong with the three schools she's focussed on, I'm just letting it go. :)

Number one lesson for dealing with adolescents: Pick your battles!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
report: forgot to weigh this morning as I was in a hurry to get to my appt. Ate reasonably yesterday, though. Going to my WW meeting for the first time in three weeks today!

Well, you'll get weighed at WW anyway! Hope the meeting was helpful for you.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope your day was a good one!

My weight was up .8 this morning (don't know why). I did go about 200 calories over what I'd planned today, but I am sure I burned them up and more at my training session (which made me extremely hungry, thus the extra calories). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth. I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!! :D

Hope you had a good day!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
That would be very difficult for me to say, which of course is ridiculous! I heard from another guy today and wrote back right away, since this one didn't scare me!!

:) If you ignore him long enough I'm sure he'll go away.

Originally Posted by :
A teensy amount of healing is better than no healing! And good for you for recognizing that the fracture could easily be an excuse that would keep you from exercising for a long time. I'll bet there are all kinds of things you can do without exacerbating the injury or disrupting the healing.

Boy, this boot is a pain. My ankle does feel better after having worn it nearly all day yesterday, though.

Originally Posted by :
Knowing the right people and tipping heavily go a long way!! Good for Jane for keeping her head in what could have been a scary situation. I continue to be amazed by her maturity.

She is becoming amazingly mature. It's like I can see the changes happening. I had thought she'd be shy and quiet around Glenn and Joe, neither of whom she'd ever met before, but she wasn't at all. She completely held up her end of conversations and was even making jokes.

Originally Posted by :
Number one lesson for dealing with adolescents: Pick your battles!

Which is the same number one lesson as for dealing with toddlers, LOL!

Originally Posted by :
Well, you'll get weighed at WW anyway! Hope the meeting was helpful for you.

Decided to weigh with the boot on (because it's a total pain to put on/take off) and...eek! Gotta go -- picking up Jane in less than an hour to go to the airport, need to shower!

Originally Posted by :
My weight was up .8 this morning (don't know why). I did go about 200 calories over what I'd planned today, but I am sure I burned them up and more at my training session (which made me extremely hungry, thus the extra calories). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth. I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!! :D

Hope you had a good day!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
:) If you ignore him long enough I'm sure he'll go away.

Yep, and I'm really good at ignoring people when I'm uncomfortable!;)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Boy, this boot is a pain. My ankle does feel better after having worn it nearly all day yesterday, though.

I wore one of those boots for months the last time I broke my leg, and I remember how miserable it was, especially when the weather got really hot. I do remember being grateful that I didn't have to wear it during the winter, though!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
She is becoming amazingly mature. It's like I can see the changes happening. I had thought she'd be shy and quiet around Glenn and Joe, neither of whom she'd ever met before, but she wasn't at all. She completely held up her end of conversations and was even making jokes.

You must be incredibly proud of her. I can only imagine......no, actually, I can't really imagine at all....what it would be like to be a parent watching your child poised on the threshold of adulthood, but it has to be pretty awesome!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Which is the same number one lesson as for dealing with toddlers, LOL!

And perhaps that strategy works with husbands as well??

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Decided to weigh with the boot on (because it's a total pain to put on/take off) and...eek! Gotta go -- picking up Jane in less than an hour to go to the airport, need to shower!

Oh, no!! Weighing with the boot on would definitely be discouraging, but not at all accurate, either!


After my extreme training session yesterday, I was expecting a drop on the scale but went up .4 instead. That just plain ticked me off. I am sore all over today and did not exercise. Planned and stuck to a lower calorie day today, in light of the recent gains. :(

Hope you had a better day today!

FRIDAY: Sorry I didn't post last night. I couldn't get this page to load, and I had a lot of trouble tonight, too. Looks like maybe you are also having trouble this time. Hope you are OK! My weight was down a pound yesterday and up .4 today. Stayed OP both days. Had a personal training session yesterday that wasn't quite as grueling as the previous one, thank goodness!!

SATURDAY: I'm getting worried about you now. It's not like you to be out of touch so long.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Stayed OP. Took a walk.

Hope you have a very happy Easter!

Sorry to disappear! I thought we'd have internet access at the hotel in Colorado Springs, but the room internet required an ethernet port, which my laptop doesn't have.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:

I wore one of those boots for months the last time I broke my leg, and I remember how miserable it was, especially when the weather got really hot. I do remember being grateful that I didn't have to wear it during the winter, though!

I've been taking it off when I'm just at home not doing anything, putting it back on if I'm going to be moving around much, although I took it off for the college tour because I didn't want the tour guide to think he needed to worry about terrain and stairs and stuff. It really is helping with the pain.

Originally Posted by :
You must be incredibly proud of her. I can only imagine......no, actually, I can't really imagine at all....what it would be like to be a parent watching your child poised on the threshold of adulthood, but it has to be pretty awesome!

It is, and yes, I'm proud of her and Michael, although I do really think as long as you love them and avoid doing anything major to screw them up, you've probably done as much as you can to make them turn out well, and after that it's a matter of luck. :)

Originally Posted by :
Oh, no!! Weighing with the boot on would definitely be discouraging, but not at all accurate, either!

Actually, LOL! What I'd started to write and then realized that I had just exactly one hour to shower, pack for Colorado (and I hadn't yet completely unpacked from vacation), and pick up Jane from school was that I decided to weigh at WW with the boot on because it's such a pain to take on and off and I weighed 118.2, which is just .2 over my WW goal. I'd been ready to take the boot off if it was going to put me over goal+2 and make me pay for the meeting, but it didn't! That was fun!

Originally Posted by :
After my extreme training session yesterday, I was expecting a drop on the scale but went up .4 instead. That just plain ticked me off. I am sore all over today and did not exercise. Planned and stuck to a lower calorie day today, in light of the recent gains. :(

Bummer on recent gains. Where are you around your goal? After an extreme training session, you could be retaining water.

Originally Posted by :
FRIDAY: Sorry I didn't post last night. I couldn't get this page to load, and I had a lot of trouble tonight, too. Looks like maybe you are also having trouble this time. Hope you are OK! My weight was down a pound yesterday and up .4 today. Stayed OP both days. Had a personal training session yesterday that wasn't quite as grueling as the previous one, thank goodness!!

Yay for staying on plan and being down .6 for the two days.

Originally Posted by :
SATURDAY: I'm getting worried about you now. It's not like you to be out of touch so long.

Sorry! Jane and I went to Colorado Springs to see Colorado College, one of the choices she's narrowed it down to along with Emory and Kenyon. I'm not sure I'd told you about that yet, given that we were out of town while she was getting her final responses from colleges and then only back in town three days before we left, during which time I was crazy busy. At any rate, we flew out to Colorado Springs on Wednesday night for an admitted students program.

Colorado College is awesome. They use a block plan -- you take a single class for 3 1/2 weeks, then you have a four day weekend and start over. 4 blocks per semester. Professors teach a single class each block, too (during their teaching blocks -- they also have research blocks during which they don't teach, which sounds like an amazingly cool thing for them too, and those with administrative duties have fewer teaching blocks -- the president teaches one block per year) which opens up the possibilities for field study for literally every class. A geology class might spend one week of their block in New Mexico, digging and collecting specimens. There's an English class on Shakespeare that spends the entire block in London and Stratford-on-Avon. A class in Oceanography is offered once every two years that involves a week at Wood's Hole and two weeks on a research vessel at sea. The downside is obviously that if you have a class you hate, you're totally immersed in that for three and a half weeks. And for some subjects that involve skill development like foreign language, a long period between one block of that subject and the next mean you either are going to lose and need to regain or you need to commit to practice in between -- there are ongoing 'adjunct' classes for languages that meet once a week for an hour. If you're unavailable for some of your adjunct sessions because your current block is off campus, you have to plan ahead or make up what you missed. And obviously you need to be a person who's ready to, say, read Moby Dick in two days. But if you're willing to take those downsides, the upsides are incredible. Classes generally meet 9am-noon every day (unless the professor thinks some other time is better -- Astronomy meets at night), depending on the class there might be a lab or field study some afternoons. This means pretty much everyone on campus is on more or less the same schedule. Classes start on a Monday and end on a Wednesday, followed by a 4 1/2 day Block Break until the next Monday, during which time the school offers service trips or skiing or backpacking trips, plus various student groups put together trips, some students might go home, some might just chill and do nothing for a few days. CC describes it as, "That 'school's out for the summer' feeling...but at CC, you get it 8 times a year." Jane says, "All I can think of is, if I go to Emory, and it's the week before finals, and I'm sitting there with three papers to finish and four finals to study for, and I'm thinking, 'If I were at CC, I'd be worrying about ONE class.'" The idea of having to immerse in subject she doesn't like doesn't worry her because she took Geometry in summer school -- 4 hours a day, 5 days a week for like six weeks -- and it wasn't that bad, and because she didn't have anything else she'd -rather- study to procrastinate with, she did well.

AND it doesn't hurt that the student body is as attractive as the surroundings. Our tour guide was drop dead gorgeous, funny, clearly very bright. Jane whispered, "I want to come here just so I can meet him." :) On her list of concerns about CC was that it often comes up on lists of "most attractive students" and she was worried that meant girls had to worry about makeup, hair, dressing cute every day, like at places like Vanderbilt. But these kids are attractive because they're fit and outdoorsy types -- most of the girls were wearing very little makeup, many just had their hair pulled back into ponytails, some clearly had rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats to go to class. Jane likes to look cute, but when she's under the gun she wants to know she can skip making the effort for a couple of days without sticking out like a sore thumb.

And the surroundings! OMG! Jane took this photo from her host's dorm window:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y23...e/IMG_0393.jpg

The college is just north of downtown Colorado Springs (that's Pikes Peak in the photo), with a couple blocks' walk to little restaurants and shopping. Just far enough that students tend to stay on campus to take a coffee break but close enough that you could easily decide to go off campus instead if you wanted a change of scenery. Colo Springs has a greater metro population of over a half million. It's mostly flat and students get around on bikes and skateboards -- there are racks for skateboards next to the bike racks, and both were full to overflowing everywhere we went. The food is good, the dorms vary from okay to fantastic, the political atmosphere seems to be laid-back liberal. It's sunny 300 days a year. The weather is changeable in the extreme. The tour guide said he'd gotten a sunburn Sunday when it was 80 degrees, then Tuesday morning it snowed, then the sun came out and melted the snow and by that afternoon it was 65. Thursday when we arrived it was 70 and sunny, and when I got up Friday morning it was 43 and there was a HEAVY fog over the area. I went to a panel of staff -- just for parents, as all the prospective students were attending a class -- and when I came out an hour later the sky was absolutely cloudless and it was 65. Crazy. But apparently most days even in winter there are at least some sunny warm hours -- no long periods of grey cold snowy/cloudy/rainy days/weeks/months on end.

Jane said the class was great, she loved the professor, loved the other students, everyone was talking and asking questions of each other and the prof. She told me she's never been in a class like that one. At the panels I attended with other parents, I was impressed with staff but also with the other PARENTS. When you attend these question-and-answer sessions, there are always at least a few a$$holes among the parents, people who want to ask "questions" that are really just a chance to brag. "Do recruited athletes have a hard time scheduling classes around practice and games?" Give me a break. But at CC it was MINIMAL, and even those were actually worth the brag. I felt I could like the other parents.

Jane hadn't expected to love CC as much as she did. She'd been intrigued enough by the block plan to decide to keep it on the list until she'd had a chance to visit, but she really had thought she'd probably be deciding between Kenyon and Emory and that Emory had the edge. But Kenyon is now likely off the list. She's supposed to do an overnight for admitted students there on the 16th, and she's decided that since we've already got the plans fixed and she only has to miss one day of school, she might as well still go, but they'd have to really wow her. This Thursday we drive down to Emory for an admitted students program. No overnight, unfortunately. Emory uses the excuse that they're too big and have too many admitted students, but I think that's bull. They may have three times as many admits, but they also have three times as many current students and dorm rooms as all the LACs that offer overnights for admitted students. Emory just doesn't want to deal with the logistics, and because they're a brand-name school they don't have to. That's probably one of the main things Emory has going for it: nearly anyone who has any knowledge of US colleges will recognize it as a great school, while most people in Ohio have never even heard of Colorado College and a lot of folks outside Ohio are similarly unfamiliar with Kenyon. Jane also likes that it's bigger -- she worries that at a school of 2000 (CC) or 1600 (Kenyon) if she had an experience like she had this year at her high school (which has 1400 students) when a friend turned into an enemy, will she be constantly running into that person like she does now. But I think she's really giving some thought to how important those two things are, especially the brand-name thing. At any rate all of her visits will be over on the 17th, and then she'll have just about two weeks to think before she has to commit. I'm just trying to let her make up her own mind while still pointing out things like, "In high school you're in three classes with your former friend because you're both on the same AP/accelerated track, which is a small subset of students. It's like being in a 50-person class rather than a 450-person class, and all of your courses are required of all students. In college, even in a small school, you'll likely never have three classes with the same person unless there are classes that are both only offered once a year AND required for both your majors."

Whew! Sorry for writing a book!

From last Wednesday:

Originally Posted by :
I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth.

Wow! What a workout!

Originally Posted by :
I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!!

LOL! What do you think about aiming for that?

Report: weighed (3.8 under goal, yay!) and had a fun NSV yesterday. We were up at 3:30 am to make our 6am flight, so obviously neither of us had much sleep and were kind of stumbling around getting dressed, etc. All morning, driving to the airport, going through security, on and off planes, every time I sat down I felt like I had to pull the back of my shirt down because my pants were riding down. I hadn't weighed while we were gone, so I thought I must have gained weight or been retaining water or something. Then I used the restroom at the Minneapolis airport, and I was staring at the tag of the jeans...and it said 0. Mine are a 2. I had accidentally put on Jane's jeans, which are the same brand as mine, same color, same pocket design etc., but are in a style that has a lower rise. I was in my teenage daughter's jeans and had only realized it because they were riding down when I sat. :)

MONDAY: Report: weighed (no change, 3.8 under goal), didn't exercise. Ate fairly reasonably even though it was Easter and I'd put baskets together for the "kids" (Michael was home on Easter break from Muskingum -- such a bummer that he came home Wednesday after Jane and I had already left, and we missed most of his visit), though we did order subs for dinner and I had beer with mine. :) I definitely need to figure out this exercise thing. I'm just so swamped with the final college decision travel plus the startup of the farmers' market for the year that I am having a hard time thinking of much else.

TUESDAY: Hm, now I'm back and you're MIA! Hope everything's all right. Report: weighed (no change, 3.8 under goal), didn't exercise. Grilled fish for dinner, yum! I'd overordered and came home with 2 pounds, and I thought "what am I going to do with 2 pounds of fish?" I grilled it all anyway and my husband ended up eating the entire extra! He must have eaten over a pound and a half of fish! Planning to go to my WW meeting today, though it looks like it's going to be the late meeting at 12:15 since the early meeting starts in five minutes.

I know the place we're going in Atlanta gave us problems with the internet when we were there in December, and I have no idea about the place in Gambier, so if I'm not around Thursday-Saturday and then again Monday/Tuesday, don't worry!

Originally Posted by :

Today I weighed 131.8. I've been as high as 133.4 in the past couple of weeks, so I'm definitely on the high side. I still want to get to 127 again before my trip if I can. That's about 6.5 weeks away.

So 4 pounds in six weeks is totally doable, and of course I understand wanting to be at your low point before going on a weeklong trip. BUT: have you considered that you may actually have been continuing to lose fat while building muscle over the past few months of exercise and that as a result you could weigh more but be leaner than before you started training so regularly and so hard? Have you measured or gotten a body composition reading recently?

Originally Posted by :

Actually, I don't think you did tell me, which makes me feel better, because I was wondering if my memory was failing me!! So she's down to just three choices--that's getting down to the wire.

Yes! She's culled some wonderful schools -- Carleton, Hamilton, Dickinson, Allegheny, Centre, University of Michigan all accepted her -- and she's left with three great schools. There's just no wrong choice here, I think.

Originally Posted by :
Oh, my goodness. That's a very interesting system, and one I've never heard of before. I'm trying to imagine what that schedule would be like from a professor's point of view, and I think I would really like it. I would like the intensity of it, the variety, and the incredible opportunities it would open up, both for the students and for the professor. But I would think it would be pedagogically disastrous for certain subjects and especially for students who aren't extremely capable and very self-disciplined. Clearly that wouldn't be an issue for Jane or for the students at Colorado College in general, I'm sure. It all sounds very exciting and appealing.

They have a very high freshman-to-sophomore retention rate, so I don't think it's common, but I imagine the average transfer probably is due to discovering that you just don't have the discipline. What subjects do you think it would be worst for? I wondered about math, too, but they do have math majors.

Originally Posted by :

This place sounds almost too good to be true!! What's the catch??

For Jane the catch is the size. She thinks Emory is a good size. I disagree with her. I think it's way too big, especially once you add in all the grad students, and I suspect she wouldn't have anywhere near the same relationships with her profs as she would at a small all-undergrad LAC, but she's the one who has to make the decision.

Originally Posted by :
Forgive me if I'm asking an offensive question, but I'm curious what the tuition is at this place in comparison to other small liberal arts schools.

Not at all! The tuition net of the merit awards (but not taking into account potential NMS money) puts all three schools within $2000 of each other. We had told her not to worry about money, but she wanted to know if there was some huge difference so she added it up.

Originally Posted by :

Keep reminding her of that--no matter the size of the campus, she is unlikely to have to keep running into the same people over and over again like she does in high school. It sounds like she has some pretty serious thinking to do over the next couple of weeks. But the good news is that, no matter which option she decides on, the outcome is likely to be fantastic!! It's all good!

Thanks, it's good to hear that from multiple people who attended small schools themselves. It's really the one thing I want her to keep in mind. I personally think Emory is too big. The undergraduate college (minus the business school and school of nursing) is 5000, and when you add in the business and nursing schools and the grad schools, it's 13,000. That's almost the size of Miami. I also think it's way too greek and possibly too southern for her, although of the southern schools, it's probably the least that way. I'm sincerely hoping we get down there and she starts noticing things she didn't notice before and doesn't like. But I'm trying to keep at least the appearance of being totally open-minded. :)

Originally Posted by :

Ah, so you did see that!! I don't know how realistic it would be for me to run a race, no matter how short it is, but I'm game to try it. I wouldn't care at all how fast I went, and I'd be perfectly happy to come in dead last. For me, the accomplishment would be simply completing the race. I do wonder about the implications for me knees, though. Running has got to be pretty high impact, even though my knees don't bother me much at all these days. BTW, I saw a little piece of the Dr. Oz show today, and he was talking about why women have so many more knee problems than men do. It has to do with the fact that women's hips are so much wider and extend out so far beyond their knees. After seeing that, I held a yardstick against my hips and then straight down to the floor the way he demonstrated on the show, and the yardstick practically touched the outside of my knee, because my hips are so ridiculously narrow. For the women on the show, the yardstick was many inches away from their knees. So I guess that means that I should not have significant knee issues anymore.

I think just finishing is a great goal. If you need to finish at a walk, that's okay. And if you start feeling your knees, you can even stop altogether.

Originally Posted by :

Does Jane wear curvy jeans like you do?

No, she's curvy but just wears normal jeans. And actually all my curvy jeans are now too big, even though they're in the smallest sizes offered. The jeans I bought that are like Jane's are from a different store than the store that carries the curvy jeans.

Originally Posted by :

I can certainly understand why you would be feeling distracted and pressured. And since you're weight is low, you feel less pressure in that arena, which can't compete with the other pressures that are demanding your attention. But I wouldn't be doing my job as your diet buddy if I didn't at least remind you that you are worth taking care of, too!

I know...I just keep thinking things like, 'once this is over, I can get on track.' But that's not really productive thinking. I need to be able to stay on track even when life is a little crazy, especially when it's ongoing craziness.

Originally Posted by :

Sounds like your husband likes fish as much as I do! But fish is a good thing to eat in large quantities, if any food is. On Easter when I ate almost an entire plate of broccoli, I was reminded of Beck's admonition not to eat large quantities even of very low calorie food for risk of reinforcing the habit of eating large quantities. But I find that I have no trouble differentiating between foods that are OK to eat a lot of and those that are not. After all, I didn't get fat by eating too much steamed broccoli, and I don't think anyone else ever has, either!

I'm with you. I wonder if there's research to back up the idea that overeating healthy foods reinforces the overall general habit of overeating?

Originally Posted by :

OK, I won't worry! I don't know how Kenyon could compete with Colorado College, but I hope you have a great visit!

My weight was down .6 today. I was supposed to have a personal training session today but ended up canceling it. I haven't felt well today at all--headachy and very dizzy, and the dizziness nauseated me. I taught my classes this morning and then came home and spent the rest of the day on the couch. Even lying down, everything was spinning. I feel much less dizzy now. Stayed OP all day.

Bummer on not feeling well! Hope it's just a quick passing mild virus or something!

Report: forgot to weigh this morning, arg. Ate reasonably yesterday until a wine-induced snackfest. Didn't exercise, and never made it to WW. Just too busy. I am going to do my pushups today, though.

Hope you had a great day! I'll post this to email too, just in case!

Originally Posted by :

Hmmm, thank you for suggesting that I measure. I had noticed recently that my ribs are a bit more visible and that I had to tighten my wristwatch to the the tightest hole, and my clothes weren't tight, so I knew I wasn't getting bigger. I measured tonight and discovered that I am now 34-28-34. That means my hips are the same as they've been for a while, but I'm smaller on top. Maybe some of the weight is in the form of muscle. I still want to lose a couple of pounds before my trip, though, because I know that I will gain a little in a week of eating in restaurants and minimal exercise.

Yeah, I was glad to head down to PV at my low number. I came back 2 pounds heavier than I went down, even with being fairly careful!

Originally Posted by :
This is called an approach-approach-approach conflict, and if you're going to be in conflict, this is about the best kind of conflict to experience!

Yeah, I just hope she doesn't end up second guessing herself after she makes her decision. She overthinks things.

Originally Posted by :

I would guess that the biggest issues would be with courses that are cumulative in nature, and each new concept scaffolds on the previous one, as would be the case in a math course or a foreign language course. I have taught in 3-week or 5-week sessions (during the summer), and for courses in which each new topic is a "clean slate", that format works fine. But teaching statistics that way turned out to be a disaster. The students really needed more time to process and practice each step before moving on to the next, and that just can't happen when the course is so compressed.

I believe she'll be required to take Calc, and of course if she's a psych major she'll have to take stats. She did take Geometry in a 5-week summer course 4 hours a day and did well.

Originally Posted by :

Do you think that Jane's attraction to a larger school reflects any discomfort on her part about being too visible or having too much attention directed her way? Does she feel safer if she blends into a crowd rather than standing out?

I think it's 90% fear of a relationship going sour and then not being able to get away from that person on a small campus. She thinks that because that happened to her in a 1400-person high school, the same thing might be possible on a 1600- or 2000-person campus. I just don't think it's anywhere NEAR as difficult to avoid someone on a college campus as it is in a high school, even when you're talking about the same number of people. The other 10% is just thinking that 1600 people isn't a lot of people, and at a school that has a definite personality, like Kenyon and CC, what if she doesn't fit in well with the typical student -- will she find friends. She doesn't really understand that the college has already filtered those 1600 people for you. At a selective LAC, those 1600 students are all bright and motivated and they all chose a small school over their big state U. So that 1600 people isn't like the pool at her high school, where maybe five or ten percent of her classmates were as bright and motivated and interested in an LAC.

Originally Posted by :
I agree, 13,000 students is the size of many small cities, and that's too large for most undergraduates.

And yet so many kids choose Ohio State. It boggles my mind.

Originally Posted by :
So you've gotten smaller in the hips? Are you happy with that? (I would like to know what it's like to have a curvy body, and I'm jealous of women who are really shapely and feminine, BUT I also like my narrow hips and suspect I would want them back if I suddenly woke up one morning and had curves!!)

No, the curvy 2s were too big on me as long ago as last summer. I like the fit of them, but apparently there just aren't that many women who are still curvy as a size 0. :) But fortunately this other brand (American Eagle) makes their jeans with a tiny bit of stretch so I can get find a 2 and the hips stretch a little but the waistband doesn't gap. I tried on Jane's 0 jeans right out of the dryer yesterday and could get them on but barely. Which according to her means they fit me -- apparently you're supposed to get the tightest pair you can zip up, because once they're on they stretch out and if you bought them any bigger, they'd sag.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I know...I just keep thinking things like, 'once this is over, I can get on track.' But that's not really productive thinking. I need to be able to stay on track even when life is a little crazy, especially when it's ongoing craziness.

Originally Posted by :
I hope today was less busy and more on-track for you. Can you do push-ups even with a fracture?

Yes, but it's better if I cross the bad ankle over the good to ensure I'm not putting any weight on it.

Originally Posted by :
My weight was down 1.2 this morning (YAY!), stayed OP, did not exercise. I have a training session tomorrow, sandwiched into a ridiculously busy day that will keep me scheduled and occupied every minute from my early morning class to my evening meeting at church. I am looking forward to the end of the semester and to having some free time!

Just a few more weeks! Yay for being down 1.2.

Report: forgot to weigh AGAIN. Got up, went out to make coffee after which I would normally come back to the bedroom to brush teeth, weigh, etc., while it brews, but I discovered the dog had had an accident that required over 20 minutes of cleanup. By the time I was finished the coffee had brewed and I'd forgotten I hadn't weighed. Oh, well. Off to Atlanta in a few hours, taking my laptop but I may or may not be able to get on so if you don't hear from me until Sunday, don't worry!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I believe she'll be required to take Calc, and of course if she's a psych major she'll have to take stats. She did take Geometry in a 5-week summer course 4 hours a day and did well.

Taking a math course in such a compressed format surely wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem for really bright students as it is for the majority of mine.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I think it's 90% fear of a relationship going sour and then not being able to get away from that person on a small campus. She thinks that because that happened to her in a 1400-person high school, the same thing might be possible on a 1600- or 2000-person campus. I just don't think it's anywhere NEAR as difficult to avoid someone on a college campus as it is in a high school, even when you're talking about the same number of people. The other 10% is just thinking that 1600 people isn't a lot of people, and at a school that has a definite personality, like Kenyon and CC, what if she doesn't fit in well with the typical student -- will she find friends. She doesn't really understand that the college has already filtered those 1600 people for you. At a selective LAC, those 1600 students are all bright and motivated and they all chose a small school over their big state U. So that 1600 people isn't like the pool at her high school, where maybe five or ten percent of her classmates were as bright and motivated and interested in an LAC.

Jane is definitely overgeneralizing from her one bad experience this year (but understandably so). You are absolutely right about the filtering process. The population of students at a small LAC will be so much more homogeneous than at her high school. I remember how mind-boggling it was for me to get to Allegheny and discover that nearly all of my classmates were smart and motivated!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
And yet so many kids choose Ohio State. It boggles my mind.

ATHLETICS!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No, the curvy 2s were too big on me as long ago as last summer. I like the fit of them, but apparently there just aren't that many women who are still curvy as a size 0. :) But fortunately this other brand (American Eagle) makes their jeans with a tiny bit of stretch so I can get find a 2 and the hips stretch a little but the waistband doesn't gap. I tried on Jane's 0 jeans right out of the dryer yesterday and could get them on but barely. Which according to her means they fit me -- apparently you're supposed to get the tightest pair you can zip up, because once they're on they stretch out and if you bought them any bigger, they'd sag.

No, I don't imagine there are many women who need a curvy size 0! As for Jane's advice about the fit, maybe I should heed it. I tend to buy jeans that fit comfortably when I first try them on and then am dismayed later when they become baggy and hugely saggy in the seat.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: forgot to weigh AGAIN. Got up, went out to make coffee after which I would normally come back to the bedroom to brush teeth, weigh, etc., while it brews, but I discovered the dog had had an accident that required over 20 minutes of cleanup. By the time I was finished the coffee had brewed and I'd forgotten I hadn't weighed. Oh, well. Off to Atlanta in a few hours, taking my laptop but I may or may not be able to get on so if you don't hear from me until Sunday, don't worry!

I've been derailed more times than I can count by the need to clean up after my "bulimic" cat! I won't worry if I don't hear from you.

I didn't get on here last night because I had a total meltdown. To make a very long story short, I got extremely upset about an insight I had about my relationship issues (came about from a combination of my last counseling session and something that happened at the church meeting last night). I had my worst binge since I first started to diet (ate about 3000 extra calories, I think). I just felt so depressed that I couldn't muster up the energy to post last night. I had a counseling session today that was incredibly draining, leaving me more tired than I am after a personal training session! But it was also very cathartic, and I agree with my therapist that I have reached a critical turning point. Considering the flood of emotion I was/am dealing with, I can definitely forgive myself for the binge and move on. I didn't weigh this morning. I ate only about 1025 calories today and am going to bed now, partly because I am so tired and partly because I don't want to eat anything. Will check in again tomorrow night. Hope you are having a good trip!

SATURDAY: Weight was up 2.2 this morning (relative to Thursday's weight, since I didn't get on the scale yesterday). I only ate 1180 calories today, so hoping to see a drop tomorrow. Feeling blah and depressed but did not give in to the urge to overeat--credit for that.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:

Jane is definitely overgeneralizing from her one bad experience this year (but understandably so). You are absolutely right about the filtering process. The population of students at a small LAC will be so much more homogeneous than at her high school. I remember how mind-boggling it was for me to get to Allegheny and discover that nearly all of my classmates were smart and motivated!

That's what I'm thinking, too. She actually got a glimmer of it this past weekend at Emory. As you can probably imagine, turning down Emory would be difficult partially because it's a name-brand college. As their President put it during his address to us, their goal is to "consolidate their position" as an "international destination university." I think that translates to "we want people to mention us in the same sentence as the Ivies." I was trying to hide from Jane how troubling I found this aspiration of theirs, and in particular how troubling I found it that they'd frickin' ADMIT to this aspiration. Uh, what about EDUCATING STUDENTS? And he wasn't the only person who used that phrase, either. But I digress. About halfway through the day Jane turned to me and said (I'm paraphrasing), "I was thinking about how great it would be to have that Emory sticker on the back window of my car. How I would never have to explain what college I went to, never have to realize someone had no clue what a great school it was or how hard I'd worked to get there. And then I suddenly realized if I make the decision because of that, I could be choosing a school full of people who made that decision for that reason."

Neither of us was blown away by Emory. Everything was very formal. They herded us into a big room and a bunch of people in suits lectured. It suffered badly in comparison to the experience at Colorado, which felt more organic and sincere. As a tiny point of comparison, there was a question at both places about the alcohol policy. At CC, the answer was, "CC is a 'wet' campus. As long as you aren't bothering someone or endangering yourself or someone else, you're not going to get into trouble. We want people to know they can call security for help if they think their roommate has had so much to drink she needs medical attention." At Emory the answer was, "Underage drinking is illegal in Emory's dorms." Uh, okay. At CC, our tour guide clearly had not been told to say nothing negative. We're walking through a dorm and he points out the computer lab and says, "The computers usually work, the printers can be a problem sometimes. You can send it to another printer somewhere on campus, though." When he was talking about the weather he said it was so changeable he never knew what to wear. It just felt honest. At any rate, at the end of the day at CC Jane was pumped and enthusiastic. At the end of the day at Emory she said she felt like she hadn't learned a single thing about Emory that she hadn't known when she showed up. I had to agree with her. It felt like they were phoning it in. Jane was pretty disappointed. She'd been expecting to be blown away by Emory. She walked on campus ready to LOVE it.

Originally Posted by :
As for Jane's advice about the fit, maybe I should heed it. I tend to buy jeans that fit comfortably when I first try them on and then am dismayed later when they become baggy and hugely saggy in the seat.

Oh, absolutely! Plus I bet there are cuts that are better for your shape. I wouldn't know which ones would be good for someone with less booty, but I bet you have students who are shaped like you are.

Originally Posted by :
I didn't get on here last night because I had a total meltdown. To make a very long story short, I got extremely upset about an insight I had about my relationship issues (came about from a combination of my last counseling session and something that happened at the church meeting last night). I had my worst binge since I first started to diet (ate about 3000 extra calories, I think). I just felt so depressed that I couldn't muster up the energy to post last night. I had a counseling session today that was incredibly draining, leaving me more tired than I am after a personal training session! But it was also very cathartic, and I agree with my therapist that I have reached a critical turning point. Considering the flood of emotion I was/am dealing with, I can definitely forgive myself for the binge and move on. I didn't weigh this morning. I ate only about 1025 calories today and am going to bed now, partly because I am so tired and partly because I don't want to eat anything.

Oh, dear! I'm sorry you had a bad episode! But I'm really glad you were seeing your therapist right after, and that you are able to forgive youself. Do you want to talk about what happened? No pressure! If you don't, that's fine!

Originally Posted by :
Feeling blah and depressed but did not give in to the urge to overeat--credit for that.

Credit you, and sorry you feel blah and depressed. Maybe just a function of the emotions the day before?

Report: weighed (up slightly to 3 under goal, but that's okay), didn't exercise. Happy to be home, but am headed back out tomorrow for the final admitted students program, this one at Kenyon. I'll be happy to have this over!

MONDAY: Hm, hope you didn't have a bad day yesterday! Jane and I are off to Kenyon, will take my laptop with me but I don't know if the hotel has service.

Originally Posted by :

Once again I am amazed at Jane's maturity and insight! Few 18-year-olds would have the cognitive sophistication to make that kind of observation, no less apply it to themselves!

Yeah, I'm often stunned by the things she comes up with. I'm pretty sure I didn't have her maturity at that age!

Originally Posted by :
And that is very interesting indeed that CC would be so forthcoming with information that many parents would consider to be detrimental to say the least, and your reaction to it is even more intriguing.

I'm less worried about kids drinking than I am about the consequences when they feel they have to HIDE their drinking. I'd much rather see them drink a couple beers in their dorm room than drive to a seedy bar where they won't get carded. I'd rather they go to a keg party than hide vodka in a water bottle. I'd rather have them openly serve at a sorority formal than have everyone 'preparty' and show up sh1tfaced because they knew they weren't going to be able to drink at the event. Oxford was 3.2 when I was at Miami, and it was the PERFECT solution IMO. Even a physically small and inexperienced drinker will start to feel -full- before she gets sh1tfaced on 3.2 beer. No one DIES from overimbibing 3.2 beer.

Originally Posted by :
I definitely see your point, though, and I can understand why you would be put off by the slick spiel you got at Emory. Having heard (more times than I can count) the student ambassadors (who act as tour guides) at my campus herding prospective students and their parents around, I know that their commentary is much more like Emory's than like CC's. I wonder how many people find it insincere and off-putting, like you would!

Yeah, we've certainly heard our share of only-the-positives tour guides! :)

Originally Posted by :

I've pretty much figured out which brands, and which cuts, are the straightest.

What brands/cuts work for you? I hate to shop so much that I haven't tried many on. I tried the Eddie Bauer "curvy" fit simply because it was =called= curvy, and then when I found that I needed a smaller size than those came in I just asked Jane what she wore since we have a very similar shape.

Originally Posted by :
I just I find it simply amazing how much variation there is across brands, and even across different cuts in the same brand, in jeans that are all supposedly the same size.

No kidding -- like these curvy Eddie Bauer. I bought three pair of shorts in a different cut, and they fit in a 2. The curvy cut is too big in a 2 in a trouser but in a jean still fits.

Originally Posted by :
But I am SO straight up and down, and so narrow through the hips and legs, that I'm pretty sure the waist on a smaller size would be small enough to give me a serious muffin top. No matter what style I try, the seat is pretty much guaranteed to be baggy once the jeans stretch out after wearing them for a few hours. After I've had them on for a couple of hours, I can generally take any pair of jeans off without unzipping them. I'll bet not many women can say the same!

Not me or Jane, that's for sure!

Originally Posted by :

No, actually I totally forgot, probably the first time I have ever had the need to post completely slip my mind. I'm just ridiculously busy. I was up grading papers until 1AM last night and just fell into bed when I was done. And I'll be up late tonight doing the same, and then I have to get up at 6 for an early class tomorrow, followed by back-to-back classes and meetings with a personal training session in the middle (after which I will have to rush back to school to observe a colleague teach a class, without even having time to take a shower or even to change out of my gym clothes-UGH). The rest of the semester is going to be a whirlwind. And I am going out of town this weekend (for a longaberber event) and will not have computer access.

Originally Posted by :
Hi, Val! I'm still getting the same infuriating error message on 3FC, so am emailing instead. I had a good day today. Weight was down .2, ate about 1500 calories, had a good personal training session, feeling in control. The only notable thing about today is that, against my better judgment, I got talked into being Faculty Chair again for next year (JUST for a year this time, since someone has already agreed to do it the following year). That means another totally crazy-busy and stressful year for me. Sigh........

Do you still have the same teaching load when you're Faculty Chair? Because it seems like your teaching load should be decreased if you're taking on administrative duties or else why would anyone agree to do them?

Originally Posted by :
Hope you and Jane are having a good visit! I look forward to hearing your always interesting observations!

Kenyon was beautiful, but I think Jane's ready to decide on Colorado College. She pretty much saw CC and Kenyon and Hamilton and Carleton as being basically the same -- small highly-selective liberal arts colleges with great reputations -- so once she realized Emory (and earlier, University of Michigan) wasn't for her, she was down to personal preference. She had culled Hamilton and Carleton in favor of Kenyon because if she was going to be in Ohio-like weather, she might as well be a 3-hour drive instead of a 12-hour drive from home. So once she looked at it that way, CC just sort of floated to the top. The block plan is really compelling, especially making a mid-April just-before-finals visit to Kenyon and seeing her host and host's roomies stressing over finishing up multiple classes. And CC's location wins on nearly every count. Even the ones on which it doesn't win, it still wins -- that is, Kenyon is close by, but she yearns to live somewhere that feels "different." Kenyon's campus and town is more beautiful, but it's a very midwestern beauty and again not "different." Which pretty much gives Kenyon an edge ONLY in the category of "Mom and Dad are not too far away." :) I'm afraid that's not going to win the day with my daughter. I'm actually always surprised when it wins the day with some kids!

Report: weighed (up 2 to 15.4) but I totally deserve it. Ate badly while travelling this time. I'm just ready to stop travelling, I think. Glad we're at the end of it for now. I've got an appointment today with Elyse (the woman who runs my fitness studio) to see what she can come up with to keep me in shape while my ankle heals. Way behind gearing up for the farmers' market. Gah. Too much to do.

Hope you had a good day! I'll cc: this into an email in case you can't get on here, but maybe we should just go back to NS's boards? They never gave you trouble, did they?

Originally Posted by :
Tommy Hilfiger's straightest cuts generally fit me really well; that's my favorite brand. I also love Calvin Klein jeans, and sometimes I buy them because I like them so much, even though they're typically too big in the hips and legs. But at least they hold their shape really well and don't get progressively baggier as the day goes on. Ann Taylor/ Loft jeans (their straight cut; they have a curvy cut also, which obviously doesn't work for me) also fit me very well. I wear either a size 2 or 4 in a straight cut. But some size 4's are absolutely tremendous in the butt, and I can grab handfuls of fabric around the thighs. I would easily be able to wear a size 0 in a regular-cut jean, at least in the hips and legs, but I wouldn't be able to button them around the waist. I can also wear a junior size 5 in jeans sometimes. I just keep trying on different styles and sizes until I find something that fits, because there is so much variation.

A friend who owned a boutique told me that quality jeans don't sag as much, even when they get stretched out, which was what made a $200 pair of jeans worth buying -- her philosophy was that you were better off with two pairs that looked good rather than 10 that didn't. She also reiterated the fit goal -- as tight as you can pour your body into, even if it gives you a muffin top because that'll disappear when they get stretched.

Originally Posted by :
It's actually kind of annoying! I've always been able to do that, even when I was at my heaviest. In fact, the problem was even more extreme then, because my waist was actually 4 inches LARGER than my hips were!

Yeah, I can see how it would be annoying! I guess that's why you see suspenders on so many men -- nearly all overweight men will have a bigger waist than thighs.

Originally Posted by :


Yes, actually my teaching load is supposed to be reduced by one course each semester--because the university would rather do that than pay someone overload for administrative duties. But the other psych prof was on sabbatical last semester, which put us way behind in terms of our normal sequence of offerings for majors. So there is absolutely no way I can be excused from any of my teaching next year. In fact, one of the conditions I set on taking over the chair position was that I would not be docked a course as a result; it would cause chaos for the majors. That's why I'm getting extra pay for being chair instead of a course reduction.

Err...or perhaps the prof who was on sabbatical could pick up the slack?

Originally Posted by :
I know that I sure as **** wanted to be as far away from home as possible at that age, but of course I did not have the kind of relationship with my parents that you have with Jane!! Nevertheless, I am not at all surprised that Jane is leaning toward CC. When I read your post about her impressions of it (and yours as well), it seemed like she had pretty much made up her mind already. And it sounds like a very good option for her.

I think it really is. Since she'll be avoiding as much math as possible and certainly not taking any math -series-, she'll probably do fine with that. And she totally buys into the idea of adjunct classes for languages. And everything else should be fine. Of course she'll have to figure out how to multitask again in grad school!

Originally Posted by :
Was Elyse able to give you some good options?

Basically I just am going to attend my regular class and she's going to adapt what everyone else is doing to avoid impact. I went Friday, it worked okay. Not -as- good a workout, but much much better than none at all.

Originally Posted by :
What did you eat while traveling that leads you to say you ate "badly"?

Oh, just agreed to order in a pizza when that's what Jane felt like instead of going somewhere I could get a lower calorie item, and then overeating. Nothing horrendous. Just a minor failure of discipline, really, from the sabotaging thought that I 'deserved' to eat another slice. :)

Report: have weighed 1.6 under goal for several days in a row now. Went to class Friday, yay me! (Saturday) Hubby's off with my friend Cindy's husband Dave to The Big Tap In, a craft beer festival up in Youngstown, staying with my cousin and her husband. I had decided not to go because I knew Jane was going to be down to the wire with her decision and thought I'd stay in case she was feeling anxious or something. Too much of a party for me, anyway. I can barely last through an evening of trivia much less an all-day drinking event. I'll be glad tomorrow morning. :)

Hope you're having fun with your Longaberger friends!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
A friend who owned a boutique told me that quality jeans don't sag as much, even when they get stretched out, which was what made a $200 pair of jeans worth buying -- her philosophy was that you were better off with two pairs that looked good rather than 10 that didn't. She also reiterated the fit goal -- as tight as you can pour your body into, even if it gives you a muffin top because that'll disappear when they get stretched.

I definitely do agree that quality trumps quantity, and sometimes expensive jeans are absolutely worth the money! My most expensive jeans (the Hilfiger and Lauren) are my favorite.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, I can see how it would be annoying! I guess that's why you see suspenders on so many men -- nearly all overweight men will have a bigger waist than thighs.

There have been many times I considered buying suspenders! Thankfully, sanity (or maybe vanity) kicks in just in time!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Err...or perhaps the prof who was on sabbatical could pick up the slack?

Unfortunately, he is not qualified to teach many of the courses we need to offer (because his training is in clinical, and the courses are experimentally-oriented, which is my training).

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I think it really is. Since she'll be avoiding as much math as possible and certainly not taking any math -series-, she'll probably do fine with that. And she totally buys into the idea of adjunct classes for languages. And everything else should be fine. Of course she'll have to figure out how to multitask again in grad school!

She's already thinking ahead to grad school? At her age, I didn't even know what grad school was!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Basically I just am going to attend my regular class and she's going to adapt what everyone else is doing to avoid impact. I went Friday, it worked okay. Not -as- good a workout, but much much better than none at all.

GOOD FOR YOU for going to the class and adapting appropriately. YAY!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, just agreed to order in a pizza when that's what Jane felt like instead of going somewhere I could get a lower calorie item, and then overeating. Nothing horrendous. Just a minor failure of discipline, really, from the sabotaging thought that I 'deserved' to eat another slice. :)

It's amazingly easy to fall back into old habits of thought, isn't it? And the "I DESERVE it" one is especially easy to buy into in the heat of the moment!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: have weighed 1.6 under goal for several days in a row now. Went to class Friday, yay me! (Saturday) Hubby's off with my friend Cindy's husband Dave to The Big Tap In, a craft beer festival up in Youngstown, staying with my cousin and her husband. I had decided not to go because I knew Jane was going to be down to the wire with her decision and thought I'd stay in case she was feeling anxious or something. Too much of a party for me, anyway. I can barely last through an evening of trivia much less an all-day drinking event. I'll be glad tomorrow morning. :)

I'm sure the scale will thank you for that decision!! So did Jane need you, and has she made her final decision? It's been a long year for her (and for you)!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hope you're having fun with your Longaberger friends!

It was definitely fun. I did pretty well with my eating. I had a couple of extras (a piece of pie in Amish country and a cupcake at the Longaberger event), but also made very good choices overall (like eating a grilled chicken breast with a side of zucchini and squash when my friends were eating a half-pound bacon cheeseburger with fries).

The reason I didn't get on here last night is that I discovered late yesterday afternoon that I didn't have my credit card. Thinking back, I realized I had left it in the restaurant where we had eaten lunch. I ended up going back there last evening to get it (wouldn't have been able to get it off my mind otherwise), and then still had to do hours of work to get ready for today. I only got two hours of sleep last night.

Tonight I had another total meltdown. All of my struggles lately have come from indecisiveness. I'm back in a mindset I was in for years before starting to diet, one in which I devoted a tremendous amount of energy to trying to decide HOW I would go about losing weight, eating everything in sight and gaining steadily while deciding. I stayed there for YEARS, and I feel like I am back there again. I go around in circles. I worry about all the processed food on the NS plan and wonder if getting rid of it would address my continuous bloating and constipation. I worry even more about all the diet soda I drink, and often think I am going to quit it (always TOMORROW), but never make it more than a couple of hours before I am climbing the walls. I couldn't decide about the NS desserts (hadn't had any in the house for quite some time) but then broke down and ordered a bunch when they had that recent 30%-off sale. The order came while I was away this weekend. Tonight I ate at least 20 of those desserts and feel absolutely ill and nauseous. After overeating, I can't decide what to do the next day--should I go back to my usual plan, or should I try to eat "nothing" to make up for the binge? I also can't decide what to do about going back to the NS site for our daily posts, mostly because I still have some pain about what happened with Bethy, and also because I have been out of touch with everyone there for months, and going back there would mean having to deal with all of that. I don't know what I want from a romantic relationship or even if I want a relationship at all. I am kicking myself for agreeing to be faculty chair again. I can't decide what I want to do this summer. And of course I am stressed to the max from lack of sleep and having to deal with all the work of the end of the semester. My head feels like it could explode. I also feel physically miserable, not only from the overeating, but because I have ridiculous hot flashes from the medication I am taking to reduce my breast cancer risk. I get numerous hot flashes every hour, some of which make the sweat just roll down my arms and legs, making me question whether I can continue to take the drug. I just don't seem to be able to make up my mind about anything, and in the meantime I am much less able to resist food. The few binges that I have had have reminded me in an incredibly powerful way just how painful my old life used to be. And I can totally understand why Beck claims that it is the trying to decide whether to eat or not eat--the constant STRUGGLING--that makes eating issues so painful. I think I need to start completely over with Beck, because I feel like I am just losing my grip. But again, I can't make up my mind! And I don't have the time this week to really deal with it all. I am coming up on the one-year anniversary (May 5) of first reaching my goal weight (my WW goal of 138) and want to feel in control again by that date so that I really have something to celebrate. Sigh.......

Hope you are doing better than I am!!

[QUOTE=4EverLearning;4305810]I definitely do agree that quality trumps quantity, and sometimes expensive jeans are absolutely worth the money! My most expensive jeans (the Hilfiger and Lauren) are my favorite.

Originally Posted by :
Unfortunately, he is not qualified to teach many of the courses we need to offer (because his training is in clinical, and the courses are experimentally-oriented, which is my training).

So -every- class you teach next year is going to be a class no one else could teach? Because it seems to me that once they've decided they're going to serve the students rather than serving the budget, why not take the extra they've already agreed to pay you and instead cut your class load and use that money to pull someone in who can teach a section of intro? There have to be any number of people living within a half hour of campus who are qualified to teach a section of intro and would LOVE to try teaching. I'm sorry to harp on this, I'm sure you've thought of everything I'm asking. But I truly hate seeing you take on yet another stressful year if there's any other possible solution. This year has been hard and your mental health is worth protecting. And, yes, I believe you have a right to say that your mental health is more important even than whether some of your majors have to drive to Kent to take a class they can't get at your location or have to take an extra semester to get through or whatever. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TOO. Don't set yourself up for failure. (And on a related note: think about whether some part of your subconscious is looking for an excuse to fail. "I had no choice but to regain because I had to take the entire responsibility for ensuring my students stayed on track.")

Originally Posted by :
She's already thinking ahead to grad school? At her age, I didn't even know what grad school was!!

I think it's just a function of growing up in a household with parents who both have grad degrees themselves. We've joked with our kids that 'babies are for after grad school.'

Originally Posted by :
I'm sure the scale will thank you for that decision!! So did Jane need you, and has she made her final decision? It's been a long year for her (and for you)!

Decision has to go out this afternoon to the National Merit Corporation via fax. I'm glad to have it over with.

Originally Posted by :
It was definitely fun. I did pretty well with my eating. I had a couple of extras (a piece of pie in Amish country and a cupcake at the Longaberger event), but also made very good choices overall (like eating a grilled chicken breast with a side of zucchini and squash when my friends were eating a half-pound bacon cheeseburger with fries).

Yay, you!

Originally Posted by :

Tonight I had another total meltdown. All of my struggles lately have come from indecisiveness. I'm back in a mindset I was in for years before starting to diet, one in which I devoted a tremendous amount of energy to trying to decide HOW I would go about losing weight, eating everything in sight and gaining steadily while deciding. I stayed there for YEARS, and I feel like I am back there again. I go around in circles. I worry about all the processed food on the NS plan and wonder if getting rid of it would address my continuous bloating and constipation. I worry even more about all the diet soda I drink, and often think I am going to quit it (always TOMORROW), but never make it more than a couple of hours before I am climbing the walls. I couldn't decide about the NS desserts (hadn't had any in the house for quite some time) but then broke down and ordered a bunch when they had that recent 30%-off sale. The order came while I was away this weekend. Tonight I ate at least 20 of those desserts and feel absolutely ill and nauseous. After overeating, I can't decide what to do the next day--should I go back to my usual plan, or should I try to eat "nothing" to make up for the binge? I also can't decide what to do about going back to the NS site for our daily posts, mostly because I still have some pain about what happened with Bethy, and also because I have been out of touch with everyone there for months, and going back there would mean having to deal with all of that. I don't know what I want from a romantic relationship or even if I want a relationship at all. I am kicking myself for agreeing to be faculty chair again. I can't decide what I want to do this summer. And of course I am stressed to the max from lack of sleep and having to deal with all the work of the end of the semester. My head feels like it could explode. I also feel physically miserable, not only from the overeating, but because I have ridiculous hot flashes from the medication I am taking to reduce my breast cancer risk. I get numerous hot flashes every hour, some of which make the sweat just roll down my arms and legs, making me question whether I can continue to take the drug. I just don't seem to be able to make up my mind about anything, and in the meantime I am much less able to resist food. The few binges that I have had have reminded me in an incredibly powerful way just how painful my old life used to be. And I can totally understand why Beck claims that it is the trying to decide whether to eat or not eat--the constant STRUGGLING--that makes eating issues so painful. I think I need to start completely over with Beck, because I feel like I am just losing my grip. But again, I can't make up my mind! And I don't have the time this week to really deal with it all. I am coming up on the one-year anniversary (May 5) of first reaching my goal weight (my WW goal of 138) and want to feel in control again by that date so that I really have something to celebrate. Sigh.......

Hope you are doing better than I am!!

Wow. Okay, for me, it really, really makes me think you should strongly consider how you can reduce your stress levels for next year. Seriously, this is a MEDICAL ISSUE. It's not just that you would prefer to have less stress in your life. You need a year to get off the crazy-go-round, solidify your learnings into habits, and deal with various anxieties. And learn to cook fresh food from scratch. :) I understand that you're committed to making sure your students have the classes they need. But there has to be SOME solution that allows them to graduate on schedule while still not burning you out completely. I can't really know what the options are for solving this issue, but I know there must be a DOZEN solutions that maybe aren't ideal but are better than turning you into a crazy woman. The solution doesn't have to be PERFECT for everyone. But "slightly imperfect all around" is a better plan than "perfect for everyone else but hideous for Robin." Now is the time to find this other plan. The closer it gets to the beginning of the fall semester the fewer options you will have to find an alternate solution.

Re: Beck. Perhaps we should both go back to Beck day-by-day? I'm willing if you are. We can restart it right from the beginning together. Tell me when you want to start. I can use the refresher too.

Re: the diet pop. Is this caffeinated pop, and you're climbing the walls because you aren't getting your caffeine? I actually have a suggestion for that, if that's the issue.

Report: up 1.6 to AT GOAL. Ack. Must have a low day. Fortunately I have zero planned for the rest of this week that will tempt me to overeat. Fish tonight for sure.

Originally Posted by va1erie:

So -every- class you teach next year is going to be a class no one else could teach? Because it seems to me that once they've decided they're going to serve the students rather than serving the budget, why not take the extra they've already agreed to pay you and instead cut your class load and use that money to pull someone in who can teach a section of intro? There have to be any number of people living within a half hour of campus who are qualified to teach a section of intro and would LOVE to try teaching. I'm sorry to harp on this, I'm sure you've thought of everything I'm asking. But I truly hate seeing you take on yet another stressful year if there's any other possible solution. This year has been hard and your mental health is worth protecting. And, yes, I believe you have a right to say that your mental health is more important even than whether some of your majors have to drive to Kent to take a class they can't get at your location or have to take an extra semester to get through or whatever. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TOO. Don't set yourself up for failure. (And on a related note: think about whether some part of your subconscious is looking for an excuse to fail. "I had no choice but to regain because I had to take the entire responsibility for ensuring my students stayed on track.")

We have tried for years to find someone who is willing to teach a section of intro, with no success other than the one person who is already doing that and will continue to next year. (This area is not teeming with Ph.D.'s in psychology who are willing to teach for $1500 a semester--yes, less than $100 a week--the pittance that part-timers get for teaching a course.) And it wouldn't help me anyway, since none of the courses I am teaching next year are intro (for the first time ever in my career). I'm actually happy about that part, since I am totally burned out on the intro course due to all the discipline/behavior problems that occur much more often in the intro course. And I'm really as sure as I can be that I am not trying to set myself up for failure. It's really not the work schedule that is the issue. I've had insane schedules for much of my working life, and that's never been the factor that determined the success or failure of my weight loss issues. It's the relationship issues that are breaking me down, not the work stuff.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I think it's just a function of growing up in a household with parents who both have grad degrees themselves. We've joked with our kids that 'babies are for after grad school.'

You grew up on a different planet than I did!! My parents thought it was reasonable for me to go to college (I'd meet a better class of man to marry, and I'd have "something to fall back on" if, God forbid, I ever had to support myself) but not grad school (my mother warned me many times that I would educate myself out of the marriage market, because no man wants a "smarty-pants" for a wife).

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Decision has to go out this afternoon to the National Merit Corporation via fax. I'm glad to have it over with.

YIPPEE!! I hope there's some major celebrating going on in your house tonight!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Wow. Okay, for me, it really, really makes me think you should strongly consider how you can reduce your stress levels for next year. Seriously, this is a MEDICAL ISSUE. It's not just that you would prefer to have less stress in your life. You need a year to get off the crazy-go-round, solidify your learnings into habits, and deal with various anxieties. And learn to cook fresh food from scratch. :) I understand that you're committed to making sure your students have the classes they need. But there has to be SOME solution that allows them to graduate on schedule while still not burning you out completely. I can't really know what the options are for solving this issue, but I know there must be a DOZEN solutions that maybe aren't ideal but are better than turning you into a crazy woman. The solution doesn't have to be PERFECT for everyone. But "slightly imperfect all around" is a better plan than "perfect for everyone else but hideous for Robin." Now is the time to find this other plan. The closer it gets to the beginning of the fall semester the fewer options you will have to find an alternate solution.

Again, it's really not the work that's the problem. I agree that I have a tendency to take on too much and that I have sometimes used my "busy-ness" at work as an excuse for not dealing with other issues in my life. The problem is that now I am having to deal with the crap that I determinedly pushed to the back burner for so many years--the relationship stuff. I knew that the decision to try dating would mean a really difficult period of adjustment and self-exploration for me, but even I have been completely blind-sided by just how intense my angst is. I am hoping that the summer will give me enough time to really deal with it and make some decisions about the rest of my life. I can also use the summer to get organized for my courses in the fall. And when fall comes, one of the things I can definitely work on to help reduce my work-related stress is to learn to delegate more, something I have never been good at. The fact that I will no longer have to make twice-weekly trips to the main campus next year will be a huge stress-reducer, too; no more 15-hour days.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Re: Beck. Perhaps we should both go back to Beck day-by-day? I'm willing if you are. We can restart it right from the beginning together. Tell me when you want to start. I can use the refresher too.

Yes, I do definitely want to start over. That's a decision I feel confident of! Let's start next Wednesday. By then I will be almost done with school and things will have slowed down a lot. I do think that both of us could really benefit from it.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Re: the diet pop. Is this caffeinated pop, and you're climbing the walls because you aren't getting your caffeine? I actually have a suggestion for that, if that's the issue.

It's partly the caffeine for sure. I also crave the fizziness and the sweetness.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: up 1.6 to AT GOAL. Ack. Must have a low day. Fortunately I have zero planned for the rest of this week that will tempt me to overeat. Fish tonight for sure.

Did something happen yesterday to bring about that gain, or did it take you by surprise? I'm glad that the rest of your week will be temptation-free.

I didn't get on the scale this morning. I ate about 1250 calories--no NS desserts. I took a nap this afternoon and feel a lot better as a result. I also had a nice thing happen this morning. At the end of my intro class, a student (male, probably 19 or 20 years old) came up to tell me that he thinks I am an awesome teacher. He had no idea how much he made my day. I was feeling exhausted and depressed and was dressed in my baggiest jeans and a sweatshirt, having not even bothered to take a shower this morning because I was feeling so yucky, so what he said really touched me.

Hope you had a good eating day today and will be rewarded on the scale tomorrow!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
We have tried for years to find someone who is willing to teach a section of intro, with no success other than the one person who is already doing that and will continue to next year. (This area is not teeming with Ph.D.'s in psychology who are willing to teach for $1500 a semester--yes, less than $100 a week--the pittance that part-timers get for teaching a course.)

Yegods! That's incredible. No kidding that no one would be jumping all over that. So it has to be a PhD to teach intro to psych? I mean...it's intro to psych. Jane's taking it from someone with a master's and probably some sort of certificate. Not that you're makign that policy, of course, but really? Grad students teach it, some places.

Originally Posted by :
And it wouldn't help me anyway, since none of the courses I am teaching next year are intro (for the first time ever in my career). I'm actually happy about that part, since I am totally burned out on the intro course due to all the discipline/behavior problems that occur much more often in the intro course.

Well, I'm glad the courses themselves are going to be one of the upsides! What kind of discipline/behavior problems are you seeing in the intro class? Is it because there are more students in an intro class who maybe were never really cut out for college, or is it just that there's an adjustment period between high school and college?

Originally Posted by :
It's really not the work schedule that is the issue. I've had insane schedules for much of my working life, and that's never been the factor that determined the success or failure of my weight loss issues. It's the relationship issues that are breaking me down, not the work stuff.

Okay, I'll take your word for it that it isn't the workload that is the problem.

Originally Posted by :
You grew up on a different planet than I did!! My parents thought it was reasonable for me to go to college (I'd meet a better class of man to marry, and I'd have "something to fall back on" if, God forbid, I ever had to support myself) but not grad school (my mother warned me many times that I would educate myself out of the marriage market, because no man wants a "smarty-pants" for a wife).

Totally different planet, though my mom and her brother were the first in their family to go to college. Their mom never even went to high school -- it wasn't free back then, and she went to work so the family could put her younger sister through school.

Originally Posted by :
YIPPEE!! I hope there's some major celebrating going on in your house tonight!

It felt pretty momentous! The letter is going into the mail today. She also filled out all the responses to the other colleges she got into, though she thinks she might wait to send the ones for Emory and Kenyon until the last possible minute JUST to make sure. :)

Originally Posted by :
I knew that the decision to try dating would mean a really difficult period of adjustment and self-exploration for me, but even I have been completely blind-sided by just how intense my angst is. I am hoping that the summer will give me enough time to really deal with it and make some decisions about the rest of my life. I can also use the summer to get organized for my courses in the fall.

You'd mentioned that you couldn't decide what you wanted to do this summer? What do you usually do with your summers?

Originally Posted by :
And when fall comes, one of the things I can definitely work on to help reduce my work-related stress is to learn to delegate more, something I have never been good at. The fact that I will no longer have to make twice-weekly trips to the main campus next year will be a huge stress-reducer, too; no more 15-hour days.

Delegating's good! :) I'm glad you won't have those 15-hour days.

Originally Posted by :
Yes, I do definitely want to start over. That's a decision I feel confident of! Let's start next Wednesday. By then I will be almost done with school and things will have slowed down a lot. I do think that both of us could really benefit from it.

Okay, next Wednesday. Which book do you want to use?

Originally Posted by :
It's partly the caffeine for sure. I also crave the fizziness and the sweetness.

So you have three things you like, and probably none of them are really GOOD for you. :D But you're trying to go cold turkey on all of them at once. Wean yourself, and do it from one thing at a time. Caffeine's one place to start because you can't taste it and just have to wean yourself from the addiction rather than the taste. I cut my caffeine consumption by ~2/3 about fifteen years ago by switching to half-decaff, then slowly making my coffee weaker until I got it slightly over half-strength compared to what is normal. You could start by alternating caff with decaff throughout the day. Once you get used to that, go to 1 caff, 2 decaff, etc. I think I read that caffeine doesn't actually help with normal morning grogginess but just causes you to feel groggy because your body is looking for the caffeine it always gets in the morning. I've been thinking about cutting my caffeine again. Trouble is I'll be cutting John's too. I wonder if I could do it without telling him and do it slowly enough that he doesn't notice? Hmmmm.... :) At any rate, once you've gotten yourself off the caffeine, you could start switching yourself to either something unsweetened or something unfizzy the same way -- mix soda water or sparkling water into your pop, just a barely noticeably amount at first and then more and more as you get used to it until you're drinking plain fizzy water. Then once you're used to that, same thing for moving from fizzy to plain water. Although I'm not a huge fan of water myself. I enjoy having some sort of flavor, so if it were me I'd probably move toward iced green tea or something. But I guess it would probably be ideal to move toward plain water. My daughter has a plain water habit -- she occasionally will have a sprite zero or a lemonade, but she just drinks water in restaurants more often than not.

Originally Posted by :
Did something happen yesterday to bring about that gain, or did it take you by surprise? I'm glad that the rest of your week will be temptation-free.

I'm not actually sure! I think it might be partially salt and a delayed reaction to all the travel.

Originally Posted by :
I didn't get on the scale this morning. I ate about 1250 calories--no NS desserts.

Yay, you!

Originally Posted by :
I also had a nice thing happen this morning. At the end of my intro class, a student (male, probably 19 or 20 years old) came up to tell me that he thinks I am an awesome teacher. He had no idea how much he made my day. I was feeling exhausted and depressed and was dressed in my baggiest jeans and a sweatshirt, having not even bothered to take a shower this morning because I was feeling so yucky, so what he said really touched me.

How cool is that!

report: weighed and still was at 117 today, but I think that may be a function of being slightly constipated from all the travelling. I ate low yesterday and had a GINORMOUS salad for lunch, so I suspect I'll be lower tomorrow. :) Went to class this morning.

Hope you had a great day!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yegods! That's incredible. No kidding that no one would be jumping all over that. So it has to be a PhD to teach intro to psych? I mean...it's intro to psych. Jane's taking it from someone with a master's and probably some sort of certificate. Not that you're makign that policy, of course, but really? Grad students teach it, some places.

Kent State allows graduate students to teach intro, too, but only their OWN grad students. And so far there hasn't been a grad student willing to drive three hours round trip to teach one class here (no surprise). The fact that the classes are during regular business hours also makes it very hard to find anyone who is able to teach at that time, no less willing to!

Originally Posted by va1erie:

Well, I'm glad the courses themselves are going to be one of the upsides! What kind of discipline/behavior problems are you seeing in the intro class? Is it because there are more students in an intro class who maybe were never really cut out for college, or is it just that there's an adjustment period between high school and college? Okay, I'll take your word for it that it isn't the workload that is the problem.

Yes, getting to teach only the psych majors is a huge plus. The intro classes are large, young, and include lots of high school students and students who have to take the course but have no interest in it. Because we are open admissions, there are lots of people in intro who are academically and intellectually incapable of doing college work, so they find the course very frustrating. The intro course acts as a filter that many people never get past, so the problem students get weeded out and don't move on to any of the other psych courses. In addition to the academic issues, there are lots of behavior problems, like people who constantly chatter and interrupt the class, people who play on the internet or text their friends all through class, and so forth--minor stuff, for the most part, but very annoying in the aggregate.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Totally different planet, though my mom and her brother were the first in their family to go to college. Their mom never even went to high school -- it wasn't free back then, and she went to work so the family could put her younger sister through school.

None of my grandparents went to high school. Neither of my grandmothers went past 6th grade.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
It felt pretty momentous! The letter is going into the mail today. She also filled out all the responses to the other colleges she got into, though she thinks she might wait to send the ones for Emory and Kenyon until the last possible minute JUST to make sure. :)

Hmmmm, the classic approach-approach conflict! When all of the options are good, the tendency is to procrastinate as long as possible, since making up a decision means forever letting go of options that would have been advantageous if they had been pursued.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
You'd mentioned that you couldn't decide what you wanted to do this summer? What do you usually do with your summers?

What I meant when I said I couldn't decide what to do this summer is that I have a long list of things I need or would like to do, but don't have the time or the money to do all of them--lots of different travel options, some major work I would like to do on my condo, the possibility of going to the Biggest Loser spa in Niagara Falls, stuff like that. My mind just swims with all the options.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Delegating's good! :) I'm glad you won't have those 15-hour days.

I have trouble seeing delegating as good, because I was told over and over and over as a kid that, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Okay, next Wednesday. Which book do you want to use?

Hmmmm. I think I would prefer to use the second book, because I like the memory box, the distractions box, and the daily weigh-ins, none of which are in the first book. But I think I might like to stick to the one-task-a-day format of the first book, since I think I can work through them pretty quickly this time around. What would work best for you?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
So you have three things you like, and probably none of them are really GOOD for you. :D But you're trying to go cold turkey on all of them at once. Wean yourself, and do it from one thing at a time. Caffeine's one place to start because you can't taste it and just have to wean yourself from the addiction rather than the taste. I cut my caffeine consumption by ~2/3 about fifteen years ago by switching to half-decaff, then slowly making my coffee weaker until I got it slightly over half-strength compared to what is normal. You could start by alternating caff with decaff throughout the day. Once you get used to that, go to 1 caff, 2 decaff, etc. I think I read that caffeine doesn't actually help with normal morning grogginess but just causes you to feel groggy because your body is looking for the caffeine it always gets in the morning. I've been thinking about cutting my caffeine again. Trouble is I'll be cutting John's too. I wonder if I could do it without telling him and do it slowly enough that he doesn't notice? Hmmmm.... :) At any rate, once you've gotten yourself off the caffeine, you could start switching yourself to either something unsweetened or something unfizzy the same way -- mix soda water or sparkling water into your pop, just a barely noticeably amount at first and then more and more as you get used to it until you're drinking plain fizzy water. Then once you're used to that, same thing for moving from fizzy to plain water. Although I'm not a huge fan of water myself. I enjoy having some sort of flavor, so if it were me I'd probably move toward iced green tea or something. But I guess it would probably be ideal to move toward plain water. My daughter has a plain water habit -- she occasionally will have a sprite zero or a lemonade, but she just drinks water in restaurants more often than not.

This is a case where my education gets in my way!! I can spend hours mulling over all of the various theories of addiction and trying to derive specific strategies for breaking an addiction, which often contradict each other. Your suggestions make as much sense as anything I've tried previously, and I already know that the cold turkey approach doesn't work for me. It is definitely true that caffeine addiction causes morning grogginess. I know I would probably feel less anxious and be able to sleep much better if I could wean myself off the caffeine. I believe I would eat less, too, although I've never been able to abstain from soda long enough to test that! I disagree, though, that the caffeine is tasteless. I love the taste of regular Diet Coke but not the taste of decaf Diet Coke. I can tell the difference instantly. I absolutely think that drinking plain water would be the healthiest alternative in every way.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
report: weighed and still was at 117 today, but I think that may be a function of being slightly constipated from all the travelling. I ate low yesterday and had a GINORMOUS salad for lunch, so I suspect I'll be lower tomorrow. :) Went to class this morning.

YAY you for going to class. Hopefully your plumbing is humming, and your weight will reflect it in the morning!

I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide.

I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Kent State allows graduate students to teach intro, too, but only their OWN grad students. And so far there hasn't been a grad student willing to drive three hours round trip to teach one class here (no surprise). The fact that the classes are during regular business hours also makes it very hard to find anyone who is able to teach at that time, no less willing to!

Well, that's an interesting rule. It pretty much guarantees all classes taught more than half an hour or so from the main campus will be taught by PhDs, which sort of means the education at the branch campuses is...well, the LACs love to talk about how no classes are taught by grad assistants. :) Not that a grad assistant couldn't be a perfectly good teacher, but most of them are short on experience and very possibly short on interest in teaching. I'm sure there are numerous exceptions -- a good friend went for her PhD in English after having taught art for years -- but I remember when I was a teaching assistant and had to teach a couple of classes when the prof I worked for was unavailable. If I'd been one of those students I'd have asked for my money back. :)

Originally Posted by :
Yes, getting to teach only the psych majors is a huge plus.

I can imagine! Maybe overall it's a fair tradeoff! :)

Originally Posted by :
Hmmmm, the classic approach-approach conflict! When all of the options are good, the tendency is to procrastinate as long as possible, since making up a decision means forever letting go of options that would have been advantageous if they had been pursued.

Exactly. Plus she's probably more likely than average to second-guess herself, even though she probably put in five times the amount of time, research and thought the average student puts into selecting a college. Maybe those two go together! :)

Originally Posted by :
What I meant when I said I couldn't decide what to do this summer is that I have a long list of things I need or would like to do, but don't have the time or the money to do all of them--lots of different travel options, some major work I would like to do on my condo, the possibility of going to the Biggest Loser spa in Niagara Falls, stuff like that. My mind just swims with all the options.

I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have! :)

Originally Posted by :
I have trouble seeing delegating as good, because I was told over and over and over as a kid that, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself!

I hear you. Because I just KNOW I could have done a better job. :) I try to be judicious about how perfect "right" has to be. I have volunteers who do the newsletter, the website, the volunteer coordination, and the facebook page for the farmers' market. None of the four of them do it as well as I'd like and I know if I were doing any one of those jobs rather than supervising all four in addition to all the other things I'm doing for the market, I'd be kicking butt. KICKING BUTT. But I do not WANT that extra work, and the fact is the jobs are getting done well enough to accomplish most of what they're supposed to. As well as the time I don't have to spend doing these jobs, I value the fact that four more people are invested in the market, as each of those people has a community of people around them who because they know someone involved are also that much more connected to the market themselves. To me it seems like having other people invested in an organization's goals because they've done important work without being micromanaged is one of the intangible benefits that can ONLY be accomplished via delegation.

Originally Posted by :
Hmmmm. I think I would prefer to use the second book, because I like the memory box, the distractions box, and the daily weigh-ins, none of which are in the first book. But I think I might like to stick to the one-task-a-day format of the first book, since I think I can work through them pretty quickly this time around. What would work best for you?

I'd prefer to use the second book, too. Do you want to try to work through the second book using a task a day as our default? We can always agree for a particular upcoming task that we need more than a day for it.

Originally Posted by :
This is a case where my education gets in my way!! I can spend hours mulling over all of the various theories of addiction and trying to derive specific strategies for breaking an addiction, which often contradict each other.

Yeah, I guess you don't really need my thoughts on this so much! :) I've decided I'm going to try to drop to 1/4 caff/3/4 decaff and see if my hubby notices. :)

Originally Posted by :
It is definitely true that caffeine addiction causes morning grogginess. I know I would probably feel less anxious and be able to sleep much better if I could wean myself off the caffeine. I believe I would eat less, too, although I've never been able to abstain from soda long enough to test that!

Why do you think you'd eat less without caffeine? Is that something that's been connected to caffeine?

Originally Posted by :
I disagree, though, that the caffeine is tasteless. I love the taste of regular Diet Coke but not the taste of decaf Diet Coke. I can tell the difference instantly.

No kidding! I only drink decaff pop (because I never drink pop early in the day) so I guess I haven't compared them side-by-side. I can't tell the difference between coffee and decaff, or at least again I've never compared them side-by-side but I'm not aware of being able to tell the difference.

Originally Posted by :
I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide.

I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY!

Hooray! Then, what, finals? So you'll be more or less finished by this time next week?

Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again. :)

Hope you had a great last day of classes!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Well, that's an interesting rule. It pretty much guarantees all classes taught more than half an hour or so from the main campus will be taught by PhDs, which sort of means the education at the branch campuses is...well, the LACs love to talk about how no classes are taught by grad assistants. :) Not that a grad assistant couldn't be a perfectly good teacher, but most of them are short on experience and very possibly short on interest in teaching. I'm sure there are numerous exceptions -- a good friend went for her PhD in English after having taught art for years -- but I remember when I was a teaching assistant and had to teach a couple of classes when the prof I worked for was unavailable. If I'd been one of those students I'd have asked for my money back. :)

EXACTLY!!! Our big selling point compared to the main campus is that our students are taught by Ph.D.'s, while the students at the main campus are taught largely by grad assistants. All of our PR describes us as having "all of the resources of a large university, in the atmosphere of a small liberal arts college." I taught as a grad student and was truly TERRIBLE--beyond terrible-when I started. But that's how I learned to teach.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I can imagine! Maybe overall it's a fair tradeoff! :)

I think so!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Exactly. Plus she's probably more likely than average to second-guess herself, even though she probably put in five times the amount of time, research and thought the average student puts into selecting a college. Maybe those two go together! :)

Those two things absolutely go together. It's the effort that was expended, and the vast information that was gathered, that make the decision so difficult--kinda like when I can't make up my mind how to deal with my diet soda addiction, because I have so much information!

I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have! :)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I hear you. Because I just KNOW I could have done a better job. :) I try to be judicious about how perfect "right" has to be. I have volunteers who do the newsletter, the website, the volunteer coordination, and the facebook page for the farmers' market. None of the four of them do it as well as I'd like and I know if I were doing any one of those jobs rather than supervising all four in addition to all the other things I'm doing for the market, I'd be kicking butt. KICKING BUTT. But I do not WANT that extra work, and the fact is the jobs are getting done well enough to accomplish most of what they're supposed to. As well as the time I don't have to spend doing these jobs, I value the fact that four more people are invested in the market, as each of those people has a community of people around them who because they know someone involved are also that much more connected to the market themselves. To me it seems like having other people invested in an organization's goals because they've done important work without being micromanaged is one of the intangible benefits that can ONLY be accomplished via delegation.

I would imagine that having kids would teach you at least a little about delegating! But I never thought of how delegating would make other people more invested in an organization, but I think you are absolutely right. I do know that there's something fundamentally conceited in believing that no one else can do certain tasks as well as I do. It's also a bad attitude for someone whose job is to teach others to perform tasks that she can obviously do better than they can! I will try to remember what you said about the commitment issue.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'd prefer to use the second book, too. Do you want to try to work through the second book using a task a day as our default? We can always agree for a particular upcoming task that we need more than a day for it.

Sounds perfect. I'm really looking forward to getting back into it again.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yeah, I guess you don't really need my thoughts on this so much! :) I've decided I'm going to try to drop to 1/4 caff/3/4 decaff and see if my hubby notices. :)

On the contrary, I ALWAYS value your input. You are incredibly smart, you know!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Why do you think you'd eat less without caffeine? Is that something that's been connected to caffeine?

From the perspective of my personal experience, I know that there have been many times that I've gone out to the store to buy soda to wash my food down with, and many times that I've thought it wouldn't be worth eating something if there is no soda to go with it. Crazy!! Also, I've read that a caffeine "high" can feel a lot like hunger. And caffeine is a diuretic, and thirst can mimic hunger as well. But the biggest factor is the artificial sweetener in diet soda. The short explanation is that the sweet taste acts as a conditioned stimulus that causes the release of insulin as a conditioned response, and the end result of that is going to be hypoglycemia and increased hunger. That is probably the biggest reason that so many people who guzzle diet soda are overweight. (And I have noticed that, every time I have my hypoglycemic episodes in the late morning, it is after I have consumed a lot of diet soda with breakfast.)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No kidding! I only drink decaff pop (because I never drink pop early in the day) so I guess I haven't compared them side-by-side. I can't tell the difference between coffee and decaff, or at least again I've never compared them side-by-side but I'm not aware of being able to tell the difference.

So you're saying that you avoid caffeine late in the day? I guzzle it all day long, right up to bed time--a bad habit, to be sure. I realized today that I spend at least $50 a week on diet soda. I could do a lot with that money!! I also remember that, when I was a grad student and had to live on an austerity budget (my assistantship paid $333 a month, and that was my only income), Tab was my single biggest expense. I actually spent more money continuously feeding quarters into the soda machine than I did for rent! I've been consuming vast quantities of diet soda since Tab was first invented when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mother let me have as much of it as I wanted. I think she thought that it would somehow magically make me lose weight. (If only!!)

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Hooray! Then, what, finals? So you'll be more or less finished by this time next week?

Yep, my finals are all on Monday and Tuesday. After that I'll still have a lot of grading to do, along with a couple of committee projects and reports to finish up, and a number of meetings. But things will definitely slow down.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again. :)

I've only had pizza once since starting to diet. I used to practically live on pizza. That's a really hard food to eat in reasonable amounts.

My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"!

Hope you had a better day today!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
You are incredibly smart, you know!

:o Back atcha. :)

Originally Posted by :
From the perspective of my personal experience, I know that there have been many times that I've gone out to the store to buy soda to wash my food down with, and many times that I've thought it wouldn't be worth eating something if there is no soda to go with it. Crazy!!

That's a new one on me.

Originally Posted by :
Also, I've read that a caffeine "high" can feel a lot like hunger. And caffeine is a diuretic, and thirst can mimic hunger as well. But the biggest factor is the artificial sweetener in diet soda. The short explanation is that the sweet taste acts as a conditioned stimulus that causes the release of insulin as a conditioned response, and the end result of that is going to be hypoglycemia and increased hunger. That is probably the biggest reason that so many people who guzzle diet soda are overweight. (And I have noticed that, every time I have my hypoglycemic episodes in the late morning, it is after I have consumed a lot of diet soda with breakfast.)

Yeah, I read an article a while back, maybe several, about the connection between overweight and drinking diet soda. I remember wishing I could read the actual report, because newspaper reporters are so often either clueless or intentionally obtuse when it comes to interpreting anything that could possibly be stretched to "Diet Soda Makes You Fat!" Wow, on the hypoglycemic episodes after lots of soda earlier! Hm, I do also remember reading something about artificial sweeteners' sweet taste even in the absence of actual sugar causing an insulin release.

Originally Posted by :
So you're saying that you avoid caffeine late in the day?

Completely. In college I started to notice a connection between my insomnia (back then it was the kind that makes it hard to fall asleep, a problem I'd had since puberty) and caffeine and started cutting it out late in the day. Even a small amount after mid-to-late afternoon and I likely won't sleep all night. Occasionally I've lain awake at night wondering why I couldn't get to sleep and realized that, crap, it was those Oreos. For some reason I tend to "forget" that chocolate contains caffeine once I've had a glass of wine. :) For several years tannin caused me issues too and I couldn't drink more than a single glass of red wine in the evening, but that's gone away since I started menopause, which was a pleasant surprise.

Originally Posted by :
I guzzle it all day long, right up to bed time--a bad habit, to be sure. I realized today that I spend at least $50 a week on diet soda. I could do a lot with that money!!

Wow! That is a lot of diet soda! Yeah, $50 a week...there's your trip to Biggest Loser, girl! So you must not often be actually =thirsty= when you drink pop? I'm not actually thirsty when I drink coffee, but I'm not sure I ever drink pop unless I'm thirsty. Or maybe your body expects so much liquid that you -do- feel thirsty? Or at least "thirsty" maybe? Man, if I drank that much liquid I'd never be able to leave the house! I have a bladder the size of a thimble.

Originally Posted by :
I also remember that, when I was a grad student and had to live on an austerity budget (my assistantship paid $333 a month, and that was my only income), Tab was my single biggest expense. I actually spent more money continuously feeding quarters into the soda machine than I did for rent! I've been consuming vast quantities of diet soda since Tab was first invented when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mother let me have as much of it as I wanted. I think she thought that it would somehow magically make me lose weight. (If only!!)

NO WONDER you're climbing the walls when you try to go cold turkey! You must almost literally drink nothing but diet soda? Is there anything else you enjoy drinking?

This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date.

Originally Posted by :
I've only had pizza once since starting to diet. I used to practically live on pizza. That's a really hard food to eat in reasonable amounts.

Haven't you tried the NS pizzas? They're actually not bad. I liked the frozen ones best, but the shelf stable were okay too. Yes, pizza is really hard to eat in reasonable quantities. And this new pizza place that just opened up nearby delivers pizza that reminds me of my favorite pizza from college, a unique recipe that I've never found anywhere else and that is no longer made by that restaurant so I couldn't even have it when I was visiting Oxford. Bad news all around.

Originally Posted by :
My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"!

Hope you had a better day today!

report: Gah! Forgot to weigh again! And I had a snackfest last night, bumming because it probably means I'm up. Class is cancelled today, though I can go to the 9:00 session with Giselle, so I may try to do that. Definitely need to eat light today. At least the plumbing's humming again.

Originally Posted by va1erie:

Yeah, I read an article a while back, maybe several, about the connection between overweight and drinking diet soda. I remember wishing I could read the actual report, because newspaper reporters are so often either clueless or intentionally obtuse when it comes to interpreting anything that could possibly be stretched to "Diet Soda Makes You Fat!" Wow, on the hypoglycemic episodes after lots of soda earlier! Hm, I do also remember reading something about artificial sweeteners' sweet taste even in the absence of actual sugar causing an insulin release.

You are certainly right about the sensational way that scientific research is reported in the news. In one of my classes I have the students do a project in which they compare an actual journal article to popular media reports of the same study. It's an eye-opener.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Completely. In college I started to notice a connection between my insomnia (back then it was the kind that makes it hard to fall asleep, a problem I'd had since puberty) and caffeine and started cutting it out late in the day. Even a small amount after mid-to-late afternoon and I likely won't sleep all night. Occasionally I've lain awake at night wondering why I couldn't get to sleep and realized that, crap, it was those Oreos. For some reason I tend to "forget" that chocolate contains caffeine once I've had a glass of wine. :) For several years tannin caused me issues too and I couldn't drink more than a single glass of red wine in the evening, but that's gone away since I started menopause, which was a pleasant surprise.

If you react to Oreos, you are way more sensitive to caffeine than I am. But I am sure that some of my sleep difficulties are related to my caffeine consumption late in the day.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Wow! That is a lot of diet soda! Yeah, $50 a week...there's your trip to Biggest Loser, girl! So you must not often be actually =thirsty= when you drink pop? I'm not actually thirsty when I drink coffee, but I'm not sure I ever drink pop unless I'm thirsty. Or maybe your body expects so much liquid that you -do- feel thirsty? Or at least "thirsty" maybe? Man, if I drank that much liquid I'd never be able to leave the house! I have a bladder the size of a thimble.

I think diet soda actually makes me thirstier. I almost always feel thirsty. I always attributed that to my diabetes, so I expected it to go away when the diabetes was resolved, but that hasn't happened. And I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, another thing I expected to improve when I got rid of diabetes, but that hasn't happened either.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
NO WONDER you're climbing the walls when you try to go cold turkey! You must almost literally drink nothing but diet soda? Is there anything else you enjoy drinking?

Yep, on the vast majority of days, I drink nothing but soda (and, yes, that does mean that I consume no water at all on most days, I'm sorry to say). I hate the thought of consuming calories in liquid form, and there's no liquid that I enjoy enough to justify the calories. I need to just drink WATER instead of soda. The lack of water may be part of my constipation issues, even though I'm obviously consuming a tremendous amount of fluid.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date.

Sounds like we both need to work on the water issue! I've tried the strategy of forcing myself to drink a glass of water before having soda, but I never stuck with it for very long. If you can do it, I think it's a good idea, though. As far as sparkling water goes, I don't think it's a major concern. I'm not absolutely positive, but almost positive, that it's actually the phosphoric acid that causes the calcium leaching, and I believe that phosphoric acid is only in colas, not other sodas or sparkling water. I just checked the non-cola diet sodas in my fridge, and none of them contain phosphoric acid.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Haven't you tried the NS pizzas? They're actually not bad. I liked the frozen ones best, but the shelf stable were okay too. Yes, pizza is really hard to eat in reasonable quantities. And this new pizza place that just opened up nearby delivers pizza that reminds me of my favorite pizza from college, a unique recipe that I've never found anywhere else and that is no longer made by that restaurant so I couldn't even have it when I was visiting Oxford. Bad news all around.

Oh, yes, I eat NS pizzas regularly. I meant "real" pizza! I've still never tried any NS frozen entrees, so I've only had the shelf-stable ones (which I love). I'm glad I don't have any wonderful pizza places nearby!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
report: Gah! Forgot to weigh again! And I had a snackfest last night, bumming because it probably means I'm up. Class is cancelled today, though I can go to the 9:00 session with Giselle, so I may try to do that. Definitely need to eat light today. At least the plumbing's humming again.

Did you unconsciously forget to weigh because you are afraid that you may be over your goal, which would be the first time that has happened, right? Hope today was a better day for you.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
You are certainly right about the sensational way that scientific research is reported in the news. In one of my classes I have the students do a project in which they compare an actual journal article to popular media reports of the same study. It's an eye-opener.

I've always felt that instead of requiring college students to all take calculus, we should be requiring them to take statistics. Statistics, like Algebra and geometry, are actually useful to the non-mathematician. At the very least every journalism major should be required to take statistics.

Originally Posted by :
If you react to Oreos, you are way more sensitive to caffeine than I am. But I am sure that some of my sleep difficulties are related to my caffeine consumption late in the day.

Have you ever tried switching to decaff or drinking herbal iced tea or something else after dinner?

Originally Posted by :
I think diet soda actually makes me thirstier. I almost always feel thirsty. I always attributed that to my diabetes, so I expected it to go away when the diabetes was resolved, but that hasn't happened. And I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, another thing I expected to improve when I got rid of diabetes, but that hasn't happened either.

Not surprising if you're drinking all day, I guess! :)

Originally Posted by :
Yep, on the vast majority of days, I drink nothing but soda (and, yes, that does mean that I consume no water at all on most days, I'm sorry to say). I hate the thought of consuming calories in liquid form, and there's no liquid that I enjoy enough to justify the calories. I need to just drink WATER instead of soda. The lack of water may be part of my constipation issues, even though I'm obviously consuming a tremendous amount of fluid.

Originally Posted by :
Sounds like we both need to work on the water issue! I've tried the strategy of forcing myself to drink a glass of water before having soda, but I never stuck with it for very long. If you can do it, I think it's a good idea, though. As far as sparkling water goes, I don't think it's a major concern. I'm not absolutely positive, but almost positive, that it's actually the phosphoric acid that causes the calcium leaching, and I believe that phosphoric acid is only in colas, not other sodas or sparkling water. I just checked the non-cola diet sodas in my fridge, and none of them contain phosphoric acid.

No kidding! So Sprite Zero doesn't cause the same issues? That's way cool, as I probably drink 95% Sprite Zero. Very occasionally when I'm on the road I'll stop thirsty and find that I have zero noncaff choices and I'd rather drink caffeinated diet than decaff regular pop. I literally never order pop in a restaurant because you almost never find caffeine-free AND sugarfree.

Originally Posted by :
Oh, yes, I eat NS pizzas regularly. I meant "real" pizza! I've still never tried any NS frozen entrees, so I've only had the shelf-stable ones (which I love).

Oh, duh. :)

Originally Posted by :
Did you unconsciously forget to weigh because you are afraid that you may be over your goal, which would be the first time that has happened, right? Hope today was a better day for you.

Maybe subconscious, but it often coincides more with my having a bad night's sleep, getting up very very early, reading for a few hours thinking maybe I'll get back to sleep, giving up and making the coffee and not remembering I need to weigh until after I've started drinking it. That happened last night, but I remembered to weigh this time. No change. Yes, I'm right up against my goal. I've been in the 117s before, but not over them.

Originally Posted by :
My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"!

Oh, my! Well, best wishes! How long do you suppose it takes to get through withdrawal? What kind of changes in your life are you expecting/hoping for/fearing from breaking the habit?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I've always felt that instead of requiring college students to all take calculus, we should be requiring them to take statistics. Statistics, like Algebra and geometry, are actually useful to the non-mathematician. At the very least every journalism major should be required to take statistics.

Kent doesn't require either one of those courses, but I totally agree about statistics. Understanding statistics can truly make a difference in day-to-day life, and I work really hard to make my students understand that!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Have you ever tried switching to decaff or drinking herbal iced tea or something else after dinner?

Sometimes I would switch to diet 7-Up after dinner, to get away from the caffeine. I don't like iced tea in any form, though (unless you count Long Island iced tea! :D; I wish I did, since there have been many times in my life when I've been someplace that iced tea is the only drink available.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
No kidding! So Sprite Zero doesn't cause the same issues? That's way cool, as I probably drink 95% Sprite Zero. Very occasionally when I'm on the road I'll stop thirsty and find that I have zero noncaff choices and I'd rather drink caffeinated diet than decaff regular pop. I literally never order pop in a restaurant because you almost never find caffeine-free AND sugarfree.

Nope, Sprite Zero shouldn't affect your bones!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Maybe subconscious, but it often coincides more with my having a bad night's sleep, getting up very very early, reading for a few hours thinking maybe I'll get back to sleep, giving up and making the coffee and not remembering I need to weigh until after I've started drinking it. That happened last night, but I remembered to weigh this time. No change. Yes, I'm right up against my goal. I've been in the 117s before, but not over them.

Under those circumstances, it's no surprise that you would forget to weigh, particularly when you are concerned about waking up other people.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, my! Well, best wishes! How long do you suppose it takes to get through withdrawal? What kind of changes in your life are you expecting/hoping for/fearing from breaking the habit?

Today, the headache was considerably worse but the grogginess wasn't as severe. I would imagine the withdrawal will be done in a couple of days. I don't know that I am expecting; I just know that the desire to break this habit has been brewing for a long, long time. But my FEAR is that my life will be so much better that I'll have no choice but to stop drinking diet soda permanently!! :D Time for me to go to bed. I only took a half hour nap today, and I am really beat. It was nice to sleep so deeply last night, though. That is one benefit I have discovered already. Oh, and I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I guess I can blame it on my brain fog).

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Sometimes I would switch to diet 7-Up after dinner, to get away from the caffeine.

Do you ever find that not keeping your caffeine intake up during the afternoon or evening causes headachiness or grogginess?

Originally Posted by :
Today, the headache was considerably worse but the grogginess wasn't as severe.

Bummer on the headache being worse...I don't know that I've ever had a -headache- from no caffeine, but I've definitely felt grogginess from it.

Originally Posted by :
I would imagine the withdrawal will be done in a couple of days. I don't know that I am expecting; I just know that the desire to break this habit has been brewing for a long, long time. But my FEAR is that my life will be so much better that I'll have no choice but to stop drinking diet soda permanently!! :D Time for me to go to bed. I only took a half hour nap today, and I am really beat. It was nice to sleep so deeply last night, though. That is one benefit I have discovered already. Oh, and I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I guess I can blame it on my brain fog).

Wow, so just with a day off caffeine, your sleep was better! So it probably was affecting your sleep!

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure.

Hope you have a less headachey/groggy day today!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Do you ever find that not keeping your caffeine intake up during the afternoon or evening causes headachiness or grogginess?

Yes, which is why I would often keep drinking Diet Coke even through the evening, especially when I had to work in the evening.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Bummer on the headache being worse...I don't know that I've ever had a -headache- from no caffeine, but I've definitely felt grogginess from it.

Today (day 3) my headache was minimal, but I am still very, very sleepy. In fact, the reason I didn't post last night is that I decided to take a short "nap" after dinner, planning to get up after 45 minutes and get back to grading. But I accidentally set my alarm for 7AM instead of 7PM, and I slept all the way through to 7AM without waking up! At least I was in my bed, but I was fully dressed!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Wow, so just with a day off caffeine, your sleep was better! So it probably was affecting your sleep!

Yes, I do definitely think the caffeine was affecting my sleep. Instead of waking up 5-8 times every night, I am now sleeping through the night or waking up just once to go to the bathroom (compared to 3-5 bathroom trips per night in the past). At the moment I'm still feeling very tired during the day despite the improved sleep, but I would imagine that will resolve itself eventually. I apparently have a lot of sleep deprivation to make up for!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure.

It's definitely really hard to exercise on little or no sleep. I am wondering what it will be like for me to have my first training session (scheduled for Thursday) without caffeine! I hope you had a better night's sleep last night and a better day today.

My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing.

On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out.

I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Today (day 3) my headache was minimal, but I am still very, very sleepy. In fact, the reason I didn't post last night is that I decided to take a short "nap" after dinner, planning to get up after 45 minutes and get back to grading. But I accidentally set my alarm for 7AM instead of 7PM, and I slept all the way through to 7AM without waking up! At least I was in my bed, but I was fully dressed!

Wow! You must have needed the sleep, though!

Originally Posted by :
Yes, I do definitely think the caffeine was affecting my sleep. Instead of waking up 5-8 times every night, I am now sleeping through the night or waking up just once to go to the bathroom (compared to 3-5 bathroom trips per night in the past). At the moment I'm still feeling very tired during the day despite the improved sleep, but I would imagine that will resolve itself eventually. I apparently have a lot of sleep deprivation to make up for!

No kidding! I'm not sure how you -could- get enough quality sleep if you actually got up out of bed 3 - 5 times during a night!

Originally Posted by :
It's definitely really hard to exercise on little or no sleep. I am wondering what it will be like for me to have my first training session (scheduled for Thursday) without caffeine!

I'll be interested to hear how you feel about facing your exercise as a decaffeinated person! :)

Originally Posted by :
My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing.

LOL on being too groggy to panic! Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be surprising that you're dehydrated...have you been drinking lots of plain water over the past few days?

Originally Posted by :
On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out.

Very interesting all around! So, yeah, it's hard to know which of the various changes you've made have changed all of these things. But it definitely sounds like this change is going to have a lot of positives!

Originally Posted by :
I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though!

I bet! Report: weighed (no change), am planning to go to class tomorrow morning. Went to the doc today and got permission to use my boot less, so that's cool!

Originally Posted by va1erie:

No kidding! I'm not sure how you -could- get enough quality sleep if you actually got up out of bed 3 - 5 times during a night!

As crazy as it sounds, I always thought that was just "normal" for me. After all, I've been living that way FOREVER! And being diabetic for 30 years, I just assumed that my frequent nighttime bathroom trips were the result of that.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'll be interested to hear how you feel about facing your exercise as a decaffeinated person! :)

I feel nervous about it, that's how I feel! I assume that exercise will feel harder, at least initially. But I have faith that it will be better in the long run. I'm going to go to the gym in the morning for the first time since going caffeine-free, so I'll get a taste of what it will be like then. Anything I do on my own won't be as intense as a training session, though!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
LOL on being too groggy to panic! Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be surprising that you're dehydrated...have you been drinking lots of plain water over the past few days?

Yep! I believe I've been drinking about a gallon and a half of water each day, roughly the same volume of fluid I used to consume in the form of diet soda.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Very interesting all around! So, yeah, it's hard to know which of the various changes you've made have changed all of these things. But it definitely sounds like this change is going to have a lot of positives!

I think so, but a part of me still wants that NOT to be true so that I can go back to my old habits! :(

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I bet! Report: weighed (no change), am planning to go to class tomorrow morning. Went to the doc today and got permission to use my boot less, so that's cool!

YAY on starting to wean yourself from that boot! I remember how hot and uncomfortable those are when the weather gets warm and humid. I'm sure you'll be glad to dump it. How's your pain level?

My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially. I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last). I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them. That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now.

I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I feel nervous about it, that's how I feel! I assume that exercise will feel harder, at least initially. But I have faith that it will be better in the long run. I'm going to go to the gym in the morning for the first time since going caffeine-free, so I'll get a taste of what it will be like then. Anything I do on my own won't be as intense as a training session, though!

How did it go? How often do you go to the gym on your own vs. having a training session?

Originally Posted by :
Yep! I believe I've been drinking about a gallon and a half of water each day, roughly the same volume of fluid I used to consume in the form of diet soda.

WOW! That's a lot of water!

Originally Posted by :
I think so, but a part of me still wants that NOT to be true so that I can go back to my old habits! :(

Maybe you need a set of advantages cards for your diet soda habit! :)

Originally Posted by :
YAY on starting to wean yourself from that boot! I remember how hot and uncomfortable those are when the weather gets warm and humid. I'm sure you'll be glad to dump it. How's your pain level?

Very little pain, some swelling still. She said it would be at least another month before I should do anything that involved impact.

Originally Posted by :
My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially.

Does caffeine actually increase metabolism? I didn't realize that.

Originally Posted by :
I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last).

Strange.

Originally Posted by :
I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them.

Good for you!

Originally Posted by :
That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now.

I'll try to reread the first three chapters, too, and get those first four tasks done. Not sure if I can get it today -- very very busy right now trying to get final prep done for the farmers' market.

Originally Posted by :
I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too.

I think it will benefit me a LOT.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
How did it go? How often do you go to the gym on your own vs. having a training session?

Lately, I've only been going to the gym once on my own, in addition to the two training sessions. I did go today, and I didn't notice any significant difference from my caffeinated days! YAY!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
WOW! That's a lot of water!

I've always sipped diet soda all day long, so now I'm continuously sipping water instead. I drank close to 2 gallons today (and spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a result).

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Maybe you need a set of advantages cards for your diet soda habit! :)

I already thought of that and plan to do it!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Very little pain, some swelling still. She said it would be at least another month before I should do anything that involved impact.

Yikes. I've lost track--how long have you been in the boot now?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Does caffeine actually increase metabolism? I didn't realize that.

Yeah. On the Biggest Loser, they strongly encourage contestants to start the day with strong coffee for that reason (but they do NOT recommend diet soda!). Speaking of BL, the finale was last night, and the guy who won lost 199 pounds in 6 months--more than a pound a day!!! And he lost 51% of his starting weight. I'll never understand how they keep up that rate of weight loss for months at a time.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I'll try to reread the first three chapters, too, and get those first four tasks done. Not sure if I can get it today -- very very busy right now trying to get final prep done for the farmers' market.

I did do the first four prep tasks today. I bought a new notebook, cards, and a memory box. I also bought a bunch of yarn for my distractions box, so I can work on an afghan (even though filling the distractions box is task 7--got a little ahead of myself). I always used to crochet as a distraction when I was dieting. I started doing that back when I did WW as a kid, and it always helped me, so I decided to try it again. I already have all of the other materials for task 1. Task 2 is to set a modest weight-loss goal. I'm going to aim for losing 5 pounds and then re-evaluate. Task 3 is to make time for dieting. I have a general schedule in mind for summer, one that will allow me ample time to do all of the Beck tasks and to exercise at least 5 days a week. Task 4 is to get a diet buddy--CHECK!

I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free, despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too.

Hope you also had a happy day, despite your work at the farmer's market.

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
Lately, I've only been going to the gym once on my own, in addition to the two training sessions. I did go today, and I didn't notice any significant difference from my caffeinated days! YAY!

Yay! Probably the extra rest is helpful!

Originally Posted by :
I've always sipped diet soda all day long, so now I'm continuously sipping water instead. I drank close to 2 gallons today (and spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a result).

Good grief! I can't imagine drinking 2 gallons a day!

Originally Posted by :
Yikes. I've lost track--how long have you been in the boot now?

Almost exactly a month. I'll be glad to have it behind me!

Originally Posted by :
Yeah. On the Biggest Loser, they strongly encourage contestants to start the day with strong coffee for that reason (but they do NOT recommend diet soda!). Speaking of BL, the finale was last night, and the guy who won lost 199 pounds in 6 months--more than a pound a day!!! And he lost 51% of his starting weight. I'll never understand how they keep up that rate of weight loss for months at a time.

I know, and the rate at which they lose is sometimes very suspicious. Like the week Jeremy got eliminated, all three of them lost between 10 and 15 pounds. Kim lost 15 POUNDS! In a week! At her size? After having numerous weeks where she lost between 2 and 8 pounds, she starts at 162 and ends the week at 147? I'm sorry, there's some sort of laxative and/or diuretic abuse going on here. And Jeremy loses 50 pounds between the semifinal and the finale? What?

How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. :) Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?"

Originally Posted by :
I did do the first four prep tasks today. I bought a new notebook, cards, and a memory box.

Oh, you bought new! I'm just going to use my current ones, as I still have room.

Originally Posted by :
I also bought a bunch of yarn for my distractions box, so I can work on an afghan (even though filling the distractions box is task 7--got a little ahead of myself).

That's okay, she'll forgive you. :)

Originally Posted by :
I always used to crochet as a distraction when I was dieting. I started doing that back when I did WW as a kid, and it always helped me, so I decided to try it again. I already have all of the other materials for task 1. Task 2 is to set a modest weight-loss goal. I'm going to aim for losing 5 pounds and then re-evaluate. Task 3 is to make time for dieting. I have a general schedule in mind for summer, one that will allow me ample time to do all of the Beck tasks and to exercise at least 5 days a week. Task 4 is to get a diet buddy--CHECK!

Well, my weightloss goal is 3 pounds. If I lose 3 pounds, I'll have my safely-below-goal going again. Task 3...I am having a hard time with this one right now. Crazy busy with the fm, tonight Michael gets home, tomorrow is Jane's birthday, Saturday is the fm and then a friend's son's college graduation party, Sunday is stitch, then things calm down a bit.

Originally Posted by :
I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free,

Do you think the caffeine might make you feel more anxious? Or at least, the lack of it just feels calmer?

Originally Posted by :
despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too.

Me, too! Glad you had a good day! I didn't weigh -- up again at 2:45, gah! -- but tonight I'm going to take an Ambien. I've started cutting our caffeine, too, though now that you tell me about the metabolism stuff it make me worried, too! :)

ARGH!! I had a long post all typed out, and then it went POOF right before I hit submit. This version will be shorter, I'm afraid.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Yay! Probably the extra rest is helpful!

I'm sure it is! Today I totally hit a wall and was so tired I could barely function. I ended up taking a long nap after my training session, with the result that I am now even further behind on my grading. I sure hope I can finish grading by the time of graduation tomorrow evening. In my 29 years at Kent, I have never failed to do so, and it would just feel wrong to have to go home after graduation and get back to work. Graduation feels like a marker that gives closure to the school year.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Good grief! I can't imagine drinking 2 gallons a day!

You know how smokers always say that part of their habit is due to a desire to have something to do with their hands? I think holding a container of liquid serves the same function for me.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Almost exactly a month. I'll be glad to have it behind me!

It seems longer than a month to me. And I bet it seems even more so to you!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
I know, and the rate at which they lose is sometimes very suspicious. Like the week Jeremy got eliminated, all three of them lost between 10 and 15 pounds. Kim lost 15 POUNDS! In a week! At her size? After having numerous weeks where she lost between 2 and 8 pounds, she starts at 162 and ends the week at 147? I'm sorry, there's some sort of laxative and/or diuretic abuse going on here. And Jeremy loses 50 pounds between the semifinal and the finale? What?

There's a long time span between the semifinal and the finale--two months, I think? But it's still hard to understand some of the dramatic changes. I don't doubt that there's some serious abuse going on behind the scenes.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. :) Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?"

In addition to watching the show since its inception, I've also read all of their books, along with numerous magazine articles about the show. I've also read several memoirs by former contestants. So I'm sure I know more about the show than is healthy!!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Oh, you bought new! I'm just going to use my current ones, as I still have room.

I had been using a Longaberger basket that I have since sold, so I just bought an inexpensive file box. I plan to pretty much scrap my cards and start over--a true fresh start.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
If I lose 3 pounds, I'll have my safely-below-goal going again. Task 3...I am having a hard time with this one right now. Crazy busy with the fm, tonight Michael gets home, tomorrow is Jane's birthday, Saturday is the fm and then a friend's son's college graduation party, Sunday is stitch, then things calm down a bit.

Three pounds sounds like an imminently reasonable goal. I totally understand the time issue and how life just gets in the way sometimes. I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves to make ourselves a priority, too!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Do you think the caffeine might make you feel more anxious? Or at least, the lack of it just feels calmer?

I absolutely do. I think it is amazing how calm I am, considering that it's finals week!! Who am I, and what did I do with Robin????

Originally Posted by va1erie:
! -- but tonight I'm going to take an Ambien. I've started cutting our caffeine, too, though now that you tell me about the metabolism stuff it make me worried, too! :)

Sheesh, you get up about the time I go to bed!! I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight! I wouldn't worry too much about the metabolism issue. The effect, while statistically significant, is still small in magnitude. I've been paying careful attention to my Exerspy, which seems to bear this out. I actually burned almost 2100 calories today, even without caffeine, so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. The huge positive changes definitely outweigh the small decrease in metabolism.

My weight was down 2.2 this morning--a surprise, but a welcome one! I consumed about 1420 calories (should definitely put me in a deficit, if my Exerspy is to be believed) and had a personal training session. I didn't have time to work on any additional prep tasks from the Beck book but will definitely do so over the weekend.

I hope by the time you read this you will be well rested!

FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful.

I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me.

I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:

FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful.

I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me.

I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now!

Sorry! Computer issues, then just plain busy-ness! And unfortunately I'm off in just a few minutes to brunch with friends and then stitch, but with any luck I'll be able to get in here tonight, sorry! Haven't gotten anywhere with Beck at all -- hoping I'll be able to tomorrow, when I should have some time.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Sorry! Computer issues, then just plain busy-ness! And unfortunately I'm off in just a few minutes to brunch with friends and then stitch, but with any luck I'll be able to get in here tonight, sorry! Haven't gotten anywhere with Beck at all -- hoping I'll be able to tomorrow, when I should have some time.

I didn't make any progress today, either. I just felt this urge to totally rebel--not with food, just didn't want to be productive after such a long semester. So I spent the whole day on the couch reading a novel. I still have a bit of grading to do, and two meetings at the Kent Campus tomorrow, so my semester is not done. But I needed a break. My weight was down .4 this morning.

MONDAY: Today was fine food-wise, but otherwise, it wasn't stellar. I overslept, waking up to realize that I had to rush like crazy to get to a meeting at the main campus (my first meeting with the other regional campus faculty chairs), so I forgot to weigh. When I got to the meeting, with what I thought was 5 minutes to spare, I discovered that it had been moved up an hour, and I hadn't seen the email in which the time had changed because I was in such a rush this morning. Of course if I had seen it, I wouldn't have been able to get there any earlier anyway, and I would have just been more stressed knowing that I was going to be so late! Then I had another meeting--my last Faculty Senate meeting after 16 continuous years on Senate. It hit me much harder than I thought it would. I was thanked for my service, and......that was it. A part of me was thinking, hey, don't I at least get a gold watch or something after 16 years of hard work and not a penny of pay for it? Oh, well. Anyway, it made me sad to walk out of the governance chambers for probably the last time. I've been on the verge of tears all evening. Didn't eat, though, so yay me! Tomorrow I have a meeting with my dean and the outgoing faculty chair, followed by a training session. I STILL have some grading to do, and the final deadline for submitting the grades is midnight tomorrow, so I have to finish up tomorrow no matter what. I have never in my career taken so long to get my grading done. Then I still have a huge committee report to do after that. I didn't get to Beck at all today. Hope you are OK!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
I didn't make any progress today, either. I just felt this urge to totally rebel--not with food, just didn't want to be productive after such a long semester. So I spent the whole day on the couch reading a novel. I still have a bit of grading to do, and two meetings at the Kent Campus tomorrow, so my semester is not done. But I needed a break. My weight was down .4 this morning.

LOL on not wanting to be productive! I'm feeling some of that, too. I'm rebelling against doing ANYTHING because I have so much on my plate right now.

Originally Posted by :
MONDAY: Today was fine food-wise, but otherwise, it wasn't stellar. I overslept, waking up to realize that I had to rush like crazy to get to a meeting at the main campus (my first meeting with the other regional campus faculty chairs), so I forgot to weigh. When I got to the meeting, with what I thought was 5 minutes to spare, I discovered that it had been moved up an hour, and I hadn't seen the email in which the time had changed because I was in such a rush this morning. Of course if I had seen it, I wouldn't have been able to get there any earlier anyway, and I would have just been more stressed knowing that I was going to be so late! Then I had another meeting--my last Faculty Senate meeting after 16 continuous years on Senate. It hit me much harder than I thought it would. I was thanked for my service, and......that was it. A part of me was thinking, hey, don't I at least get a gold watch or something after 16 years of hard work and not a penny of pay for it? Oh, well. Anyway, it made me sad to walk out of the governance chambers for probably the last time. I've been on the verge of tears all evening. Didn't eat, though, so yay me! Tomorrow I have a meeting with my dean and the outgoing faculty chair, followed by a training session. I STILL have some grading to do, and the final deadline for submitting the grades is midnight tomorrow, so I have to finish up tomorrow no matter what. I have never in my career taken so long to get my grading done. Then I still have a huge committee report to do after that. I didn't get to Beck at all today. Hope you are OK!

Well, I'm glad you didn't eat even though you were feeling teary all evening! Why do you think it hit you harder than you'd expected?

Report: I can't believe I didn't get in here yesterday! Sorry! I woke up this morning and realized it. Weighed (up .6, eek, must have a good day today), went to class. I'm thinking about adding some Pilates to my schedule. There's a center very nearby -- just about a mile and a half from my house, so again I could walk -- that has classes on Tuesdays at 10am and on Thursdays at 9am.

Still no progress on Beck -- still so busy, too many irons in the fire.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
LOL on not wanting to be productive! I'm feeling some of that, too. I'm rebelling against doing ANYTHING because I have so much on my plate right now.

What's going on that's keeping you so overwhelmed?

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Well, I'm glad you didn't eat even though you were feeling teary all evening! Why do you think it hit you harder than you'd expected?

I think it was yet another major change in my life. Being on Senate was part of my identity. It's also the reason that I've had early morning classes for the last 16 years (so that I had "free" afternoons to go to the main campus), so maybe I will have some later classes now!

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Report: I can't believe I didn't get in here yesterday! Sorry! I woke up this morning and realized it. Weighed (up .6, eek, must have a good day today), went to class. I'm thinking about adding some Pilates to my schedule. There's a center very nearby -- just about a mile and a half from my house, so again I could walk -- that has classes on Tuesdays at 10am and on Thursdays at 9am.

I don't fully understand what Pilates is (are?), but my limited knowledge tells me it would be a reasonable, low-impact thing for you to do.

Originally Posted by va1erie:
Still no progress on Beck -- still so busy, too many irons in the fire.

I didn't get anywhere with it today, either, but I do believe I will finally have some time tomorrow. I finished my grading today. I also wrote a rough draft of the big report I still have to do and am hopeful I can get that finished tomorrow. I also officially became faculty chair again today and already had a few things to take care of. It felt good, though!

My weight was up 1.6 this morning (???). Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP all day and had a calorie deficit.

Hope you have a less frazzled day tomorrow!

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning:
What's going on that's keeping you so overwhelmed?

Farmers' market, mostly. I'm just so over it, which translates to me procrastinating when I need to be doing that work, which leads to me having to scramble to get it done.

Originally Posted by :
I think it was yet another major change in my life. Being on Senate was part of my identity. It's also the reason that I've had early morning classes for the last 16 years (so that I had "free" afternoons to go to the main campus), so maybe I will have some later classes now!

Yay! For me of course I'd be the one scheduling early classes, but I know you prefer a later start.

Originally Posted by :
I don't fully understand what Pilates is (are?), but my limited knowledge tells me it would be a reasonable, low-impact thing for you to do.

I don't really understand it either, but I guess it's a very intentional kind of exercise? At any rate, they require 8 prerequisite classes to get you up to speed before you do the equipment classes. But there are floor classes you can take before you take the prereqs, so tomorrow I'm going to try one of those.

Originally Posted by :
I didn't get anywhere with it today, either, but I do believe I will finally have some time tomorrow. I finished my grading today. I also wrote a rough draft of the big report I still have to do and am hopeful I can get that finished tomorrow. I also officially became faculty chair again today and already had a few things to take care of. It felt good, though!

Good for you for getting stuff done! I'm still dogpaddling. Maybe tomorrow. If not tomorrow, I'll definitely be in better shape Sunday.

Report: didn't weight, arg! But I did go to class and worked out like a freak. Pilates tomorrow, I hope.