Hi all! I have been off the Beck radar and wayyyy off plan. I really have to figure out how not to put my own needs on the back burner--- or, in this case-- behind the stove somewhere. I have been so busy taking care of everyone else, I made no time for myself. No excuse, really, just a very bad habit. I have been looking at joining a YMCA so I can take my kids in for child care while I exercise. I have a lot of guilt about that since I am a stay at home, I feel like I should be staying at home with my kids, not letting someone else care for them. Oddly enough, if another SAHM was to say this, I would think they were being ridiculous. I really don't think 5 or so hours a week is going to ruin them. Sigh. I am such a nutball. So... I need to buckle back down, wipe the dust off of my book and get to planning!

Coaches/Buddies:
I did well with this one.

Commit in Writing
To remember to give myself credit consistently, I'm going to: Put multiple reminders in my phone that say "credit". These will be set to go off throughout each day.

Today's To-Do List

x Read my advantages at least twice today (I read the full list first thing in the morning and before I went to bed. I also read 3 advantages before I ate most of the day.)

_ Read other Response Cards as needed (I'm still not doing this and not really sure if that's a problem yet. If I remember correctly, once I reach week 2 and begin my diet, it is then recommended to read these routinely, not just when needed.)

x I created a reminder system for giving myself credit (Set the alarm in my phone to go off 7x per day with the word "Credit")

x I sat down to eat: every time (Unless there's a time I'm forgetting, I really think I did this EVERY time I ate- woo hoo!)

x I gave myself credit for sitting down to eat: some of the time

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Didn't think of taking my cough syrup this morning - now that's a good sign that it's on its way out. Eating on-plan; CREDIT moi. Exercise minimal - time to quit being an invalid and get back in that saddle.

ChinaMaine - Good grief, we've become the food porn thread, "Cornish Game Hen, coated with curry and mango chutney, and fruit that cooked in the juices at the bottom of roasting pan. Yum!!" Good luck with your quest to make time.

Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yay for the phone call reminder to give yourself credit; that's a new one. We just gotta get Beck to update her book.

KidsLibraryLady - Yep, right back on the horse. It's a tough one to attend to personal needs when consumed as a caregiver and SAHM. Give yourself credit for fighting a tough one.

Shepherdess - Now I'm impressed - fixing the basement heating system with her bare hands in the dawn before the deadline to call the repair guy. Just Wow. Kudos for avoiding "stress eating and food-will-fix-cold eating."

Beverlyjoy - Ouch for losing personals - I hate that. Kudos for finding healthy foods on your travels.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for a big truck; Yay for BIG toys, LOL.

midlifecrisis57 - Yay for turning down the midnight corn chips even after calculating their calories; you've got something working your plan deep inside the conscious brain.

Readers -

The Good
- Throughout the day, I identified satisfaction vs fullness while eating, and I stopped eating when satisfied – credit!
- Throughout the day, I identified hunger vs non-hunger before I ate – yep!
- Eat mindfully, enjoying every bite – credit!
- Give credit throughout the day for every positive eating behavior – yep!
- I posted here – yes!

The Bad, and the Ugly
- Read the pink book – nope
- Tolerated non-hunger without eating – nope, I at those chips just because I wanted them
- Used resistance techniques – see above
- Spontaneous exercise - nope

gardenerjoy Credit eating on-plan in the face of uncertainty and excitement!

Beverlyjoy Yay that the exchange plan will work for you!

shepherdess Ouch for the furnace. Last winter we had a bad cold snap, about 10 days where it was up to 30 degrees below zero at night, and never made it out of single digits during the day. My DH was in South Dakota helping his Mom and I was home alone with a malfunctioning boiler. I spent several nights heating the house with a fire in the fireplace and space heaters *everywhere*. So I feel your pain… I’m glad you got it working. Kudos for not overeating in the face of that!

midlifecrisis for putting the chips back. I needed you to be the angel on my shoulder last night! Our dogs have been from the pound too. Moose doesn’t live up to his lineage very well. He doesn’t point and he is very lazy. But he is sweet, cuddly, and has the most expressive face I’ve seen in a dog. So we’ll keep him.

KidsLibraryLady Welcome back! I think many of us have a hard time putting ourselves first. But it is necessary for our own health and happiness. And that is good for those around us. Good luck dusting off the book!

Kim (bennyhannamama) Credit for a great day!

Bill Let’s both make a pact to exercise today!

seadwaters

I got in a run yesterday; my house is cleaner; I’m chipping away at a mountain of laundry; and I made something fun, new and healthy for dinner last night. So all in all it was a good day, although the dogs still desperately need a bath. Yay for 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Today is a big day of doing prep cooking for shearing on Fri and Sat. Usually at shearing, someone picks up some KFC or pizza or something else greasy, and my SIL, MIL and I bake some goodies. But my SIL (a careful eater) and I made a change of plan. We were both on the same wavelength and decided that we were going to have some healthier food for everyone, and we’re still going to have the goodies.

Yesterday, I was at a local feed store picking up some sheep paint for shearing, and I saw that they had their seeds in. I’ve been getting the gardening itch, so I bought my seeds. I’ve also ordered some gardening supplies—deer and rabbit repellants, some seed starting supplies, etc. I can’t wait to get out to my garden that, right now, is covered in snow, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.

Midlifecrisis57, great job putting down the tortilla chips! It’s never easy to stop the train once it’s left the station. Ouch for anxiety and the flu. Hope you are feeling better soon.

KidsLibraryLady, it’s hard for caretakers (both by personality and occupation) to take care of themselves. One way you can think about it is that you are being a good mom by getting to the gym and taking time for dieting. You’re setting a good example to your kids. Also, if there are other kids in the daycare, it might be a very good social time for your kids. This time is important!

Bennyhannamamma, congrats on a good day! I love the idea of putting reminders on your phone to give yourself credit. It’s funny how hard the credit thing is for so many of us.

BillBE, yay for not thinking of the cough syrup! So glad you are feeling better, little by little. Kudos for easing back into exercise. Many regular exercisers try to jump right back in where they left off after they’ve been sidelined, but you’re right to slowly get back in the game.

ChinaMaine, ouch for long working hours, but hopefully your three new resources will ease your workload soon! Ouch for post-dinner unplanned eating—maybe due to workload stress? But good job making the decision to keep the offenders out of the house.

Hi beck buddies/coaches - I don't know how I am managing this - but, I am doing OK away from home. I don't know where the willingness to try is coming from. I do think that writing my food down and committing to do all the Beck 'stuff' is helping. My sister ended up having a wonderful array of healthy things too to eat- and somehow I am not eating the plethera of goodies that are everywhere. Our cousins come to visit yesterday and I made tea and put out cookies from the bakery. I told myself I could have one of those cookies tomorrow and plan for it. I just can't beleive I could do this. So I guess, for today, Beck is helping and working. I can't say about tomorrow- but, I thankfully don't have to worry about then. My new motto - plan ahead for the future - but, take it one day at a time.

credit- writing down food, keeping track of food exchanges, reading Beck, lots of water, giving credit, eat seated only, arc/no choice, rc, dealing with craving, getting past hunger, ate slowly some of the time.

no spontaneous exercise, I still can't feel fullness (I think that part of me is broken)

shepardess - wonderful planning ahead with your family to have healthy food at the shearing. Glad you are getting sleep!

bennyhannamama - I created a reminder system for giving myself credit (Set the alarm in my phone to go off 7x per day with the word "Credit") What a great idea!!!

chinamarie - many good credits and kudo's for you and dh vowing to rid the house of tempting goodies. Huge credit. Being over 150 calories is really not too bad. That's good!

billiebe - no cough syrup...yay - this means you're getting better. Tha'ts wonderful. Kudos for staying on your food plan.

kidslibrarylady - so glad to see you again. It is so easy to put everyone and everything in front of ourself. Yet - often we should put ourselves first. Tricky. The good thing about the Beck plan - one can go forward with it at any time.

A good Beck day yesterday. Today's challenge may be a lunch out on DH's whim, but I've got my plans for that!

WI: -0.15kg, Exercise: +60, 1158/1400 minutes for February, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Beverlyjoy: glad your managing with unexpected food choices. An exchange plan is essentially what I do most of the time and seems to work particularly well when I'm having to guestimate things. It helps me keep my eating under control even when I have less than perfect information to work with.

Shepherdess: good job coping with a lot of unexpected and rushed events. I'm so glad that the end of the story was that you got the heater running! Life is much easier to cope with when you are warm enough. Yay for catching up on things and feeling good about it. I'm so impressed that you and your SIL are making a change to a long-standing tradition of unhealthy eating. What is sheep paint? Yay for seeds! I'm going to place an order later this week.

midlifecrisis57: Yay for putting back chips after you already had them served! That is a huge accomplishment and a big step toward thinking thin. Hope you got a good night sleep after the nightmare-ridden previous night.

KidsLibraryLady: good to see you back here! The Y with child care sounds like a great idea. It will give your kids a chance to gain some new experiences with accompanying new skills.

bennyhannahmama: you are inspiring me! I started this program with the green book, using a copy from the library. But seeing how this can work when you really work with the pink book, I'm going to buy that book and the workbook and take a more systematic approach.

BillBlueEyes: Glad you are seeing such an improvement!

ChinaMaine: hope you get in some exercise today! Good job on the restaurant eating. Could you just throw the rest of the chips away? That can be a liberating action that makes a powerful statement that this is no longer the way I eat.

Good morning coaches

ChinaMaine - thank you for thinking of me with that little waving icon. I was reading how everyone was going thinking that I was too rushed to check in and there it was. And here I am checking in. Will check in again tonight with personals and report back to coaches

I have a similar problem of not being able to take time in work for me. I am planning really well for the days I am down in Sydney so that it is easy to stay on plan even though I am busy - because it is all the food I have! But last night I sabotaged myself. I was coming back to my home after a really busy 4 days (start of semester and worked on Sunday) and hadn't planned ANYTHING for dinner - so I got fish and chips!I didn't even let myself talk myself out of it - too tired and all the other options required effort. Hopefully this weekend there is more time to plan better. Fortunately I noticed I was full half way through the F&C and stopped eating so some credit for that. I must be getting better physically because I found myself halfway up a flight of stairs without realising it - then thought how will I get the rest of the way! Soon I will approach stairs and hills with less dread.

Weigh in this morning - down .5kg

Credits:

• Read my cards - intermittently
  
• Read my Beck book - no
  
• Checked in - today!
  
• Measured my food - YES
  
• Ate on plan - until last night
  
• Ate mindfully most of the time - yes - this is getting better
  
• Ate sitting down - yes
  
• Weighed myself - not daily - no scale
  
• Exercised - Only at physical therapy
  
• Made opportunities for incidental exercise - yes
  
• Gave credit for positive behaviours - Yes
  
• Made a food plan - not for the rest of this week - MUST
  
• Made a schedule for today- doing so now
  

Not so good:

• Not taking the time to work the program - will check in again tonight
  

Working on:

• Making time
  

Hi there. I am back after a long time away. I had some difficulty posting a post about 35 min ago. I am just trying again.

Hi again. I am working through some of the recipes in the back of the Complete Beck book. The soya cheese, toasted almonds, and raisins snack is very satifying for me. Yesterday I cooked the Sweet Pork and Apples with Broccoli (I may modify the cooking technique of the meat the next time I cook it...I think that I will sear it in a well seasoned cast iron skillet and then cook in a higher temp oven). Today I had the colourful pasta salad (easy and good). I also have made the Cabbage and Snow Pea salad...it was ok. I made the cinnamon Oat Muffins and they tasted great, have interesting ingredients, but they were not totally satisfying for breakfast for me---not to worry, I have 16 of them to use up and form clear opinions on (assuming that they last me for 16 days etc etc).

Please, give me your suggestions and favourites with regards to the recipes in the back of the book.

I need to get off of this crazy see saw that I am on with regards to my eating. It often rules my mood, my interactions with people etc etc.

My most important Advantage Card reads - I will have a sparkle and I am powerful when I sparkle.

Coaches/Buddies:

This was one of those tasks in the past that I struggled with... but it was also a task that I tried doing right from the beginning along with a whole bunch of others at once. This is the first time I have followed the program day by day. My confidence is building each day and it feels terrific! Feeling good is very scary for me, so I need to keep an eye on it and watch for my "saboteur" I know right now I have a lot of enthusiasm and it won't always be like this. Today I ate everything slowly and mindfully and I noticed that it was definitely more satisfying. I put my utensils down a lot and tried to make sure that I didn't take another bite of food until I had swallowed everything that was in my mouth.
One thing I feel like I'm not doing "right" is eating in the car. I usually only do this on the days I work (which is 2-3x per week) for breakfast (usually a protein bar) and snack on the way home (piece of fruit and cheese slice).
I *could* wake up earlier and eat breakfast at home, but I'm usually so anxious to get myself and the kids out the door and don't really feel relaxed until I'm in the car. I can't imagine being able to take my time eating breakfast because I just wouldn't be able to relax.
Pretty much the same thing in the reverse at the end of the day, I like to save my snack until the ride home (it's about a 30 minute ride) so I can get my work done and get out of there. So, I hope I'm not fooling myself with this, but I do work carefully to make sure I'm eating slowly and mindfully, even when I'm in the car.

Commit in Writing

When I feel like eating quickly, I'm going to: Read my Response Cards...

and To remind myself to eat slowly, I'm going to: ?? I eat in different places all the time (at my desk at work, in lunchroom at work, in family room or kitchen at home so I can't see "placing" something at my place setting to remind me.) What do other people do for this one? Today I've had no problem remembering, but I'm sure I will in the future.

Today's To-Do List

X Read my Advantages (Full list in the morning and throughout day before I ate. Last night I stayed at my boyfriend's house and after already being in bed for awhile, I realized that I hadn't read my list. I didn't want to wake him and go get my list, so instead, I tried to remember as many as I could from my list. I got 21 out of 31 It was kind of a fun little game and I thought it was great that I came up with a creative way to deal with it. I've also relied on my memory a few times before eating because it was too inconvenient to look at my phone or my Advantages Deck. Either way, it's becoming a habit which is making me very happy!)

_ I read other Response Cards as needed (Didn't feel the need)

X I ate slowly, sitting down, noticing every single bite: All the time!

X I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors. (I know I did, because each time my alarm for "credit" on my phone went off today, I had already given myself credit for something since the last time I had eaten!)

midlifecrisis57:
Thanks for your response. I really appreciate you pointing out that I am motivated- just meeting a lot of resistance! And I also like the point that I wouldn't keep coming back here (no matter how sporadically, etc.) if I wasn't motivated! In the past few days I really feel like I'm starting to unearth that motivation Thank you also for taking the time to let me know how you remind yourself to sit while eating-- that was definitely helpful! BTW, so impressed with you stopping yourself with the chips-- go you!

Maryblu:
Hi friend! It's starting to come back to me. I continue to think about what you said about not overthinking things, just follow the program-- thank you so much for that wonderful advice!

gardnerjoy:
Wow, I can't believe I'm inspiring someone, thank you, that's great to hear. I've been struggling for awhile, but do feel like things are finally starting to click. I originally started with the pink book (never followed through completely) and then switched to the green book. I thought the green book make more sense intuitively, because I couldn't imagine incorporating all of those skills into my life so quickly-- a new one each day. I'm not sure why I didn't let the part about taking it at my own pace apply to me. When I recently tried following the green book, I felt overwhelmed trying to follow so many new skills at once. It felt like I was juggling and every time I got one ball up in the air, another would fall. This is working well for me right now (and the workbook is just extra reinforcement) and I fully plan on taking the time I need to feel comfortable with each new skill. I'd love to hear how things are going for you and wish you luck with all of it!

Hello Coaches

I picked up a funny little bug this week: earache + sore throat + hair hurts.
yep. My hair hurts and sometimes I get a headache. This hair hurting thing, I had that even as a kid. I think my electrical system is weird but not weird enough to be big trouble, only weird enough to catch my attention sometimes. Like this week.

Anyway I have been more full than empty this week and so the scale is showing no loss. I am a steady 264.6. I guess it's reflecting the steadiness of the household as DH is finally getting into a new groove with his new job and I am finding my way with that. Soon we'll start gathering the documents to try to file for an Ancestry Work Visa with the British government. DH seems to think that if we, or rather if he, had this piece of paper we'd be heading over there ASAP. I know his company is also working on the work visa for him but this way may be faster. This is also the only way for me to be able to work.

In spite of the uncertainty I have sent out an application for a summer art show here and am moving forward with organizing the art show we did last summer here. I will continue to make my plans as if nothing were happening. It's really hard to do this though. Really hard. Like tonight my beginning students asked me if I was teaching again. I know they'd take my class again but I had to say "if I do it'll be in the fall" and leave it at that. I don't even know if I'll be here in the fall.

Foodwise I'm calming down and each day is an improvement on the one before. Oh! BIG CREDIT coaches! We went to the movies yesterday and I brought my own microwave popcorn with me in m large bag and I tucked away a bottle of water too. So I planned for the food and avoided the theatre popcorn and pop that I got the week before. It was completely satisfying too.

SO: no seconds, no sugar, no sedantariness and I did have a snack of a pear at my class tonight but it was okay and planned today.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Just got back from first Couples Therapy meeting and then the Met's HD broadcast of Simone BoccaNegra at the Cinemark. Wow! What a day! "Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us" "peace" those are the lessons of this GREEN day. I'm getting the hang of things again...of living more richly and fully in my own home (like at do at campus in the summer). I'm doing more yoga for strength and lengthening and lightening the load off axial skeleton---what a great deterrent to hunger. And 3 Eric Franklin somata-imagery books came in the mail today. I'm in heaven!

KidsLibLady: What's a SAHM? And you definitely need to have someone look after your kids for at least 4 hours each week so you can pursue your own interests! My doctor ordered it when my kids were youngsters. I had a neighbor child come over and mother's help: I was home but I took a nap or read a book: 2 hours, 2x week. Sanity! I think every Mom should consider it a duty to have someone look after the kids while Mom exercises or does something to recharge her batteries. It's CRUCIAL! And it gives the kids a break from their Moms, too, which is also good for them!

Benny: You go girl! sounds great! I love how appreciate suggestions from others, and how you reflect on things. I think you have good reasons for eating in the car, if I had your schedule I might too, as it is also time alone!!! I just wonder if you can honor the meal properly while you juggle your food with traffic. I wonder if you can't somehow figure out how to eat with your kids in the morning and start them out feeling relaxed, nurtured, and loved. But I remember how hard that is to do, my kids are long since gone off to boarding school and college. Maybe just one day a week, or even a month, you could try practicing a family breakfast on a weekday, just to see what it would take on everyone's part (Have the kids set out breakfast for YOU?).... ideal world, right? Eating alone is still a wonderful experience. I guess if you have no other distractions like the radio or music on: you could practice mindful eating in the car, no? I ALWAYS want music while I drive, and then I can't stay focussed on eating. 'Sides--it makes me desire more more more. And I had to give up bars of food. Couldn't eat just one! But that's me. Not you!


BillBE: thanks! I like that! Deep in the brain! Go amygdala!

China: where did you get that cool bravo signage? Awesome! I'll be your angel, anytime! And Moose's expressive face--did you say he has a bit of pitbull in him? They have the most expressive faces--foreheads-for-eyebrows I've ever seen in a dog's face. LOVE THEM TO DEATH and they are lazy when they are sittin' around! Love them...and cuddly to boot! if only they wouldn't eat my boots!

Shep: Thanks for the kudos: I love the train analogy. Yes, it was a crucial moment of not lifting food to my lips! And it made today much easier!

Bevjoy: Nice work on your plan and contingencies! Great!

Gardenerjoy: Thanks for your support! Yeah, the bad dreams were actually a brainfever--I didn't mention it to my hubster, but he had the same symptoms 24 hours later. We think it was a flu. Very strange brain waves with that one!

Seadwaters: you are making great efforts! Kudos! Your head is in the right place to work the Beck!

Hikergirl: Welcome back! May I suggest that you try just two ingredients or three ingredients and only 1 or 2 courses to a meal when the going gets rough. I've found that simpler is better. Gradually get your creative cooking going, but it can be seductive in itself to go for "the best" recipes too soon. They make good interrim rewards though! Check out Marais salad: I just had one at a french restaurant (dressing on the side, and I didn't have any). Yum light! (5 ingredients though-fairly complex).

Onebyone: Good preparations for taking care of yourself at the movies et al! And I think you are right to make no change in plans if you haven't announced your move. Good thinking. As a fellow instructor, it is best to hold off news of moving until you are just about ready to go. It just starts rumors and changes in plans. Give 4 weeks notice--that's enough!
Funny you mentioned the movies, though. I started into my theater for the opera with a Starbucks cup of coffee and they wouldn't let me take it in! So I lingered in the lobby trying to finish it, but couldn't. And I didn't want to sneak it in my bag, as my companion suggested. So my companion offered to take it through the gate under her hat. I let her. THen the usherperson followed us all the way to theater 18 to see if I had the cup!!! The nerve! I managed to finish it and throw away the cup without getting caught. It was more fun than not, though, to sneak the food in after the manager knew I had it. I had a baguette in my purse the whole time too. (they didn't allow any food or drink that wasn't purchased at their concession). Ah, the sweetness of food sneaking, even though its legit Beck food!!!!!

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Work work work. But I'm not eating about it; CREDIT moi. I saw someone getting exercise yesterday. Close as I got. CREDIT moi for thinking about it - Ouch.

onebyone - Seems like it might be nice to have a touch of steadiness in a phase of change in your life. Kudos for bringing your own popcorn. Now it's my understanding that it violates the theater rules to bring in your own food and drink; might even be against the law. Maybe a felony with prison time - which would be inconvenient to your current schedule. Just thinking, LOL.

ChinaMaine - Amazing, you found a bag of potato chips and only had a serving - I'm impressed; Kudos. As one of your diet coaches, my role is to tell you to work less and exercise more, but can't bring myself to do that right not for some reason.

Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yay for "it's becoming a habit" - it's the dream that all these strategies get there.

Shepherdess - Yay for conspiring with your SIL to introduce healthy food. Do sheep mind getting sheared? Do they mind getting spray painted before hand? Your world is a bit different from life here in our little East Coast conclave.

Beverlyjoy - Yep, Kudos for telling yourself you can have a cookie tomorrow; I need to remember to use that strategy.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Sixty minutes of exercise; I'm jealous.

midlifecrisis57 - I am so jealous that you went to that broadcast Verdi opera - was it good? Did the audience applaud at appropriate times? Were there Texaco ads between arias? Yay for 3 books in the mail; what could be better?

seadwaters - Yay for taking half a flight of stairs until you realized it; neat progress. Do folks in Sydney put vinegar on fish and chips?

Susan (hikergirl) - Neat that you're trying, and modifying, the recipes in the green Beck book. You could start a thread here in the Beck forum with your recipe comments - others who are interested might respond there. Yep, I've had the site reject some attempts to post; I've very consistent lately copying my post to notepad before hitting [Submit Reply].

Readers -

Hi Coaches

Caesar, my cat who came to me via my mom when she moved to the retirement residence in September, was relentless last night. He wanted food. NOW. He jumped up, started biting my fingers (always a sign) and then proceeded to bat around anything that wasn't nailed down. It was 3:45am. I got up and fed him. At 5:45am he was back and then at 7:00am which coincided with a call from my Florida sister who is coming up next week to close the sale of my mother's house-which is good family news.

Why go on about this? Well I am home and not at school in printmaking. I think I am heading back to bed for the day. This stupid vague bug is toying with me the way Caesar toyed with the empty Smarties Hallowe'en-sized box, no doubt from deep underneath the bed when I was eating that stuff.

I just need to take care of myself today and to be ready for my pet portrait class tonight. I really hope they're not frustrated again. Oh well, suck it up Buttercup. You're the teacher. You can't show your frustration there and so I present it to you dear Beck readers.*frustration* <--voila!

Oh well. I think I'm tired and should go back to bed. I think that's the best thing I can do right now.

PS. Caesar is sleeping like a baby.