[mthrgoos68]

Alright, I'm not just griping on men here, I know that many women are just as bad.

I've been going to the same church for about 3 years now. It's a small church of about 150-200 people, and most of the people there are just like a family. There's one man that started going to church there just a few months after my family did. He's a single man and probably in his mid-late 30's.

When he started coming to church there, I tried talking to him and being nice to him, just like I would to anyone else. He usually avoided me, and I know I didn't imagine the look of disgust on his face when he would see me. I quit trying to be friendly and just left it alone.

He hasn't been to church in a few months, but he was there this Sunday. He came and introduced himself to me, shook my hand and tried making small talk. Now that I've lost some weight he wants to be friend!! I'm the exact same person now that I was then, and what I look like has nothing to do with who I am.

I'm married and have 6 kids, so it's not like I was ever trying to hit on him or date him, I was just trying to be friendly, but he was too disgusted by me. All of sudden I'm worthy of being a friend now!!

I didn't like him before, and I like him even less now. What is wrong with some people!!!

[torty]

M-goose, I think it is just human behavior. I catch myself (at plus 200) doing it and think how awful I am being but it is instinctive I think because everything we see that is considered good/smart/productive/desireable is thin/booby/perfect 10
Gotta agree with you on the anger part- I have gotten it in the past on both ends. Had a car accident with my 6 month old years ago and I swore that I was practically invisible even though my car was totalled and I was carrying the baby in his carrier- cops said oops can't take a report on this not enuf damage and were nasty, etc.... then at times was thin and people who in past hought I was invisible were fawning over me!!! Hang in there, let the bad seeds just fall to the side of the road (weeds!!) and continue with your super successful lifestyle. You have done super well!!!!!!!!!!

[jiffypop]

oh kim. i'm absolutely with you!!!! i've taken on an attitude [and i DO MEAN ATTITUDE!!!!] that someone who couldn't treat me with at least politeness and a small amount of human respect when i was so heavy does not deserve one second of my time and attention now,. and if anyone makes rude comments about overweight people, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!

i've found huge amounts of support at the gym from people of all sizes and shapes, but every once in awhile there's some fit little trim person [some men, some women] who give me that LOOK. and i just look them in the eye and smirk... who the he*** do they think they are???

ok. i'll get off the soapbox now.

wanna borrow my attitude for awhile????

[mthrgoos68]

Yes!! I would love to come and spend a day with you!! I have a feeling that there is so much I could learn from you!!

[MikiG]

Mthrgoose, I just had to comment on your new pic. This is the first time I've seen it. I always enjoy your posts...have actually mentioned you several times to my sis as we walk in the mornings...not only because of things you've said in your posts that have helped us both, but also because you look so much like a girl we know who lives near here. You were very pretty before and you look awesome in this one!! Cant blame the guy for trying (but I'd be just like you...NO WAY BUSTER! lol)

Miki

[Jillegal]

I often think back to ancient history (i.e. my college days) when I ate without restraint yet didn't have any sort of weight problem whatsoever. I'd see someone the size I would eventually become and think "How could they let themselves get like that??". I admit there was disgust. Yet, that person probably didn't even eat as much as I did! I kept those eating habits and through childbirth, aging, genetics, a decrease in exercise, and whatever else contributed, indeed I did "let myself get like that". It's not something I set out to do or am particularly proud of, but it happened and I let it run unabated for several years. I knew what people were thinking when they saw me, because I'd thought the very same way. They just can't truly understand if they haven't walked a mile in my shoes (of course if I'd actually walked a mile in my shoes every so often....but I digress).

Recently I was out to dinner with a male acquaintance (okay, let's call it a date) when the waiter brought a large dessert to an extremely overweight woman at a table near us. The "date" kind of smirked and said "Like she really needs that". I immediately perceived him to be an insensitive, shallow, ignorant bore who would never have asked me out a year and a half ago. Perhaps I was too harsh on him, after all it was just an off the cuff remark and I probably would have agreed with him if I didn't know better. I suppose I could have told him exactly why I knew better, but I'd lost interest in him at that point and couldn't be bothered.

I guess that's another benefit of taking this weight-loss journey. Not only do we look and feel better and have healthier bodies and attitudes, but we become more understanding of the situations of others. I know I am no longer judgmental of other people's failings - whether it's weight or any other kind of addiction. I'm even trying to muster up some compassion for those who don't know what they're missing by writing off people because of their size (trying, but not quite suceeding)

[mthrgoos68]

Miki, Thanks so much for making my night!!

Jill, you are very right. I feel like I've really learned a lot on this journey. I guess that is one more good thing to have come from all of it.