So I am doing horridly bad. I mean really really bad
A day or two before halloween I went shopping and my husband mentioned getting some candy to pass out. I argued that I didn't think we would get any.
We recently moved to this new apartment but we live upstairs and there are very few kids in the complex plus we live off a busy street with no other homes/apartments very close. So really it didn't make much sense to assume we would get any.
But my DH kept pushing so finally I just said ok and grabbed the closest bag without much thought- reeses ugh I love peanut butter & chocolate too.
No one came to our door and now I had this huge bag of candy calling my name.
I pigged out big time. I binged out taking one piece but kept going back for more and more. One day all I ate was candy and nothing else.
The next day I begged my DH to take it to his work. That his employees will love him for it and I didn't want it here anymore. He tells me I just need some self control. He did agree to take it but then still hasn't while I continue to eat away I have almost emptied the entire bag myself.
I don't think he meant it horribly mean, I think he just doesn't understand. This has happened often. I would end up eating all the leftovers not saving any for him or he would get himself a treat and I would end up eating it.
Self control is seriously not my strong point. I feel so out of control. Partly it is mindless, I won't think about just grab it since it is sitting right smack in front of me. Other times I have a whole argument in my head and go back and forth several times before I finally give in with a few excuses and just eat it.
How do you do it? How do you learn self control? Do you just not let anything around you? & if so how do you do that if you live with others who don't get it?
I am not blaming my husband btw, I make my own choices but it sure makes it hard
I don't think he meant it horribly, but at the same time, I can't imagine my husband ever saying that to me. Instead he would try to help me somehow.
That being said.. self control is sooo important to long term weight-loss success. I know for a fact because I've lost over 60+ lbs before and yet here I am doing it all again Why?
No self control. *sigh*
How do I handle it? Obviously I don't handle it very well. I have no idea how I'm going to handle it this time around.. not a clue. Just taking it one day at a time.
I've implemented a brand new "tool" in my self control.. a rubber band around my wrist. If I start obsessing on thoughts of food, I snap it. It may sound like something that would never work, but it's actually helping me a LOT. Whatever works I figure, because once I lock on to thoughts of food, it's always gonna end poorly.
There are certain things I just can't have in the house...candy, ice cream, chips...or I will obsess over them and eventually eat them. If my hubby wants that kind of stuff, he eats it when he's away from the house. I don't crave that kind of stuff anymore, but if it's in my face every time I go in kitchen...too much for me. Hubby put up a little bit of a fight about no junk food in the house. I told him junk food is not a necessity, not a food group, it's just empty calorie junk that does nothing for our bodies. I keep lots of healthy, fresh food in the house now, and he has come around. Your taste buds will change once you quit eating junk. I eat stuff now that used to taste nasty to me, but now tastes yummy...like veggies. All that sweet, salty, white carby stuff kills your taste buds. Funny that I'd still eat it if it was in front of me though, lol. It's addictive.
Throw out whatever remains of the Halloween candy. Seriously. Wasting a dollar or two is way better than mindlessly eating those leftovers.
In regards to exercising control in general: Out of sight, out of mind. It's not always that simple, of course, but it truly does help to keep the things you have trouble resisting out of sight. If your husband wants to keep a treat in the house that you know you'll have a hard time resisting, tell him it needs to be stored in a place where you won't have to see it. Candy goes in the drawer or cabinet where you keep things you don't use very often (I put my husband's candy in a bureau drawer in the dining room where we keep holiday platters, candles, tablecloths, etc.). Ice cream gets hidden behind other things in the freezer. Chips go on the top shelf of the pantry behind the rolls of paper towels. Etc. My husband likes to have his favorite snacks in the house and I understand that, but I know if I had to see those types of foods every time I walked into the kitchen or grabbed a jar of sauce from the pantry I'd be really tempted to eat them. I find though that I seldom even think about those snacks when I don't have to see them, even though I know right where I've put them.
Don't beat yourself up about the candy. Just committ to getting back on track and moving forward with a new strategy. Good luck.
Throw it away and don't look back. I have to do this with leftovers sometimes, too. Specifically, pizza! We go to this really awesome wood-fired pizzeria sometimes, and the leftovers in the fridge are just too much for me. I feel sad to throw away something so yummy, but rationalize that it will be worse to actually eat all these leftovers.
Is this wasteful? Depends on how you look at it. It would be a waste to consume all of it, just because it's there. Eating it would waste all the hard work I've been doing to lose weight. So my vote is, throw it away!
For me, self control is like any other muscle - it becomes stronger the more you work it.
If you just CAN'T say no to it (whatever "it" is) then GET IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. Husband hasn't taken it to work as promised? THROW IT AWAY.
Don't like to "throw" it away? Feel like that's a "waste"? SO WHAT! Throw it away ANYWAY. Better to waste a few dollars than to destroy your body, your self-esteem, your DREAM of being THINNER.
I no longer have a problem getting rid of food. And my husbands knows not to ever bring anything "I can't say no to" into the house, because I WILL throw it out! Because LOSING WEIGHT IS IMPORTANT TO ME. Staying on track & meeting each little goal is IMPORTANT.TO.ME.
Side Note: I really don't get the whole "we have to get candy for the Halloween trick-or-treaters" thing. NO- you really DON'T have to. You don't HAVE to do ANYTHING.
Don't just throw the bag in the garbage can either... take it out to the dumpster. Or ruin it... that's what I do. Can't tell you how many times I've just opened a container of ice cream sitting in the freezer that my husband brought home, eating one spoon, and then putting it in the sink under hot water until it's all down the drain because I know that once I had that first spoon it is over... it's me or the ice cream lol. If he asks me... I ate it... somehow that isn't a problem but if I say I threw it out that's a problem.
I agree with the other posters about getting that Halloween candy out of the house. If your hubby isn’t taking it to work, throw it out or give it to a neighbor or something before you can eat any more. Unfortunately with leftovers + your husband’s treats, that might not always be possible. I have big self control issues too, and I’m living with my parents now. I can’t exactly throw away all their food, although I do try to get them to hide the most tempting things from me. But I’ve also been working on exercising my self-control over the past year or so, and I am getting a bit better at it.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had that same argument in my head (for me it was always before I went out to buy junkfood - I’d try to convince myself not to but some part of me would always give in and before I knew it I’d be heading out to the store for junk). There is a part of you that really doesn’t want to eat that food, and that part of me would always be so disappointed when I gave in. Nowadays when I get a big craving, I try really hard to listen to that voice inside that doesn’t want the food. And to help with that, I think of something I’ve accomplished or am about to accomplish in my weight loss (like you’ve lost over 20 pounds and are only 10 pounds away from Onderland! That’s so exciting! Focus on how great that feels!). When I focus on something positive in my weight loss, it makes me feel good about how far I‘ve come and really makes me question whether or not that food that part of me doesn’t even want is worth it.
As for food that’s sitting right smack in front of me – that’s the toughest. Try to ask your husband to put it away somewhere like chickadee32 suggested. And don’t beat yourself up about eating that candy or if you eat a treat. That’s in the past – just put it behind you, get back on plan and move on.
I'm not a big believer in self control. Those peanut butter cups are super addictive, and if you particularly like them, having them at arms length is a big deal breaker.
One thing I've used to help me not go crazy with items like that (other than not having them around, which is the best strategy for me) is to tell myself that there is an endless supply of it in the world, and I can have it any time I want, but I choose to not have it now. All or nothing thinking doesn't work well for me (like saying I can never have X again).
Another thing I do is I have a pretty structured way of eating, fruit for snacks in the afternoon. So if I feel a pang of hunger, and feel like reaching for candy, I have an apple or orange at hand. They're sweet and filling. Eating candy makes me want to eat more candy (esp chocolate). Fruit is safe, sweet and tasty.
I agree with throwing it away. No big whoop. Don't be afraid to insist with hubby, he doesn't have to understand, just smile and insist. Tell him to buy one candy bar for himself if he wants to have it.
I am horrible at self control, but I've been getting better. If I buy something tempting I make sure it's a single serving, then I schedule what day I'll eat it as a reward for not eating it right then and there.
Last week it was a caramel apple (at least I think it was last week, lol). I bought it on Tuesday and told myself if I didn't have any sweets, then I could eat it on Friday. I made it and was very proud of myself. It gave me a goal for the rest of the week and helped me to avoid all the candy in the office knowing I could have the caramel apple on Friday!
I agree with everyone else. I would just throw it away. I have Halloween candy left over, but it is hidden somewhere in the house. My friend hid it for me so I won't eat it. I don't want it so much as to search for it. :P
Self control is important, but in my opinion, there's no need to exercise more of it than necessary.
Thank you all so much. It actually helps alot to just know that this is a real issue and it is hard for others and I am not just some crazed person doing this lol
It made me think as well of all the times i actually HAVE done better. Like kellost mentioning pizza, a few weeks ago I had all this leftover pizza. I knew I was going to eat it and yet I also knew I didn't actually want it. And I over powered and threw it out. & a couple months ago my DH bought a huge giant box of candybars and I asked him to hide them and he did at first but then he forgot and left them out. I took one after arguing with myself forever over it & I took one bite and didn't want it! Threw it out and didn't touch them again.
IDK how sometimes I can forget that I have been able to resist temptation. I also don't know how sometimes it can be easier and sometimes it feels impossible.
I like all your ideas. I am going to toss out the rest right away. & make sure my husband is better at hiding his treats if he wants them. I also think having a small teat on plan at the end of the week if I do good is a nice thought to keep myself focused.
I've learned (and continue to learn) that I have self-control over some foods I really like, but I have "danger-zone" foods that I cannot keep in the house. For example, I, too, bought a bag of Snickers candy "for the trick-or-treaters"---nevermind that we have had one in ten years of living here. However, I didn't binge on them even though I really like Snickers. I had maybe five during a two week period, and then I brought the rest to work.
Same with apple pie. I made a homemade apple pie a few weeks ago, and I had no problem eating 1/8 piece of pie per night. Then, last week, I got cocky and thought I could control myself around my favorite dessert: pecan pie. I made a homemade pecan pie. I ate one piece, cut the rest of in 1/8 pieces, and froze it; I thought that doing that would encourage me to eat appropriate portions. Well, pecan pie tastes even better frozen. I know because last Sunday, my calories for the day reached 3600 because I ate 3-4 pieces of frozen pecan pie at once.
So, the moral to this story is that we need to learn our limitations. I realize that, currently, I can moderately eat many of the sweets I love, but I still have some that I can't even keep in the house.
When I have been bad (which fortunately hasn't happened on my current diet, knock on wood), I would buy food and let myself pig out for one day a week. Of course, I knew that the next day, I would feel very tempted to eat whatever I hadn't finished the day before.
So to avoid this problem, after gorging myself and hating myself, I would take the leftover food and pour dishwashing liquid all over it! That way, there was no need to worry about being tempted with the food the next day.
Throwing the candy away is good, but if I were you, I would unwrap it and pour water or dish soap on it. Then you can't change your mind and start eating it again.
I can completely relate and I really haven't figured it out yet. I do keep it out of my house. I'm single and had a lot of halloween candy, but the next day I took it all into the office. I had one last piece of it and said goodbye. So it definitely works to not have it around. But then there are the times when you don't care and just go look for the items to binge for. That's what I did tonight. I went to the store to buy items to binge on all the while tellilng myself it's not good or healthy. I don't know how to stop that.
I also think you should have a talk with your DH and say as long as you're on this journey then he is too in some form or fashion. It takes a lot of support to go through this, and those that are living with you affect you the most. Regardless of whether you do or do not have self control, it's not good for anyone to keep stuff like that in the house a lot. So hopefully he'll start to understand that part of keeping your self-control in check is to not have the items around.
Self Control- or lack thereof
